Apr 19, 2011
I'm thinking I have ADD (joking- why do we always have to label the stuff that makes us uncomfortable, so we can detach from it? Hmm.. must write on that later..) but - I seem to be doing a whole lot of multi tasking, but getting nothing significant done at all. Facebook is a terrible distraction when it's so accessible and you're not on a normal work schedule. The frustration of getting a whole lot of nothing done and the result of feeling useless is beginning to take it's toll. Unless the weather is good, it seems there is no community, as most of my friends and I do things together on sunny and warm days. These dreary few days should be perfect for art, but my masks and sculptures sit neglected at the table. Where does inspiration go to? What little cave is it hiding in and how can I coax it out once again? Seems there is no reason to make my art, as the characters stories seem to be lost in this huge city...
I can't imagine anyone hearing them over the cocaphony of this cities bustling business.
Maybe it's a sign I need to seek an inner silence, and meditate. Argh. Why is it so hard to do?
A good friend recommends this book: Cancer as a Turning Point ( book is good for others too.) and the teaching of the fellow who wrote it. Again, dealing with meditation, which I KNOW I should be practicing, but keep avoiding it due to lack of discipline. I will try. I will... funny how we say things like: "Well that didn't work for me." or some such excuse.. when really WE didn't do the work needed to make a difference more likely.
I know that is the case with me anyway. :)
I copied a segment of the therapies basic principles which I find very positive, and not much into rehashing all our past traumas etc, but focuses on the present and focuses on our likes, dreams, wishes, hopes.... stuff to LIVE for, not the stuff that makes us not want to Live.. Here's an example below..
From their site:
"Whatever the issues worked on and whatever the methods used, the focus is on the following agenda:
- to identify what excites and vitalizes you;
- to identify what can be changed or added in your life within the possibilities of reality.
- to begin moving in that direction; so that your life can be the most fulfilling possible .
- to identify the psychological blocks stopping you from living such a life.
- to work in various ways at removing those blocks.
- to plan a course of concrete action most likely to lead to a life that reflects who you truly are.
To be effective, the plan must address the whole person. It must involve your unique physical, psychological and spiritual needs, as well as your own individual way of living. Inner changes as well as changes in life style need to be made, for they reinforce each other."
Sounds good to me. Have written to them to inquire about costs and such... and will check with my own councillor to see if we can go with this approach. Though she is already pretty amazing, I am missing our appointments, as she is in Kuwait doing some volunteer work over there, and I can not see her until the 28th.
Well... That is it. Another day gone. Another morning to try again...