I did what my doctor said...now the 2 week wait!

Okay ...hi...Sooooo in my previous blog I stated I will no longer continue my clomid, estrogen regimine in order to conceive a child. If I am not pregnant this month..I will literally give this to GOD...as if I couldnt have done this in the first place...

Today (4/25) is cycle day 14...and according to my doctor, I am supposed to ovulate on this day...its 11:41 in the pm and I am at work now...I did the BD with hubby around 9 ish, just before coming to work...and also we made love yesterday Cycle day 13...My doctor adv we should BD on the 13th for a girl, and on the 14th for a boy....hmmm..he wasnt laughing either..lol

So I no longer care about having a baby RIGHT NOW...who am I? I can't see the future...and if I thought this was a good time to have a child..I am more now convinced that there is a BETTER time..Gods time. So whatever that may be...2 months...6 months...1 year from now.. Im just gonna have to be okay with it.. knowing that GOD does know my heart, and he see's my desire...and he will fulfill thoes desires in HIS perfect time.

I know im saying this now, and my feelings might change upon realizing im not pregnant...so i've decided to ask the Lord to take the desire for a child away for now....that is..if he doesnt see fit to bless me with one right now....Theres no reason I should have to suffer with this uncontrollable desire...which can often times lead to depression..

So now I wait.....im suppose to test on May 9th....not even looking forward to it....Im gonna stop typing now, i think im getting depressed....**runs off crying**