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To test or not to test...im sooooo done!

May 09, 2011 - 3 comments
Tags:

Home Pregnancy Test

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emotional

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no period but not pregnant

Okay, sooo..today may 9th, is when i was "supposed" to get my period. Hasnt happened yet. Nor do I have any PMS symptoms, all which usually include, frequent urination, breast tenderness, moodyness, and hot flashes....

Today is also the day I was supposed to take my pregnancy test, according to my clomid cycle plan...

Why didnt I? ...BECAUSE IM NOT PREGNANT! Now do I have any proof of this non-pregnancy? not really, but I dont FEEL pregnant, and my spirit man is telling me that im Not..

I dont feel I should waste all of 15 dollars just for another DISSAPOINTING pregnancy test...I've already decided not to take clomid anylonger...1 round was too much for me...its just not worth it....Ive been saying to family and friends that Ive given this to the LORD, but have I really? I cant even type these words without feeling super angry and emotional...I thought I would be okay if I got a neg result, but I cant even bring my self to take the stupid test...what kind of mind games am I playing with myself... I feel so childish and UGH...

So anyway, Ive decided, since I know im not pregnant (because im a prophet) I wont bother to take the test...this way I can avoid any dissapointments...And I say this because, last year sometime when I thought I could have been preggo I prayed right before I took the test and I just KNEW it was positive, and when I saw that very bold NOT PREGNANT I nearly keeled over and died...(dramatic I know) ...sighs...

I truely believe I am okay with not having a baby right now...but why im so afraid of the negative results, I dont know...I know what I have to do...I need to pray, and take the test...sighs....

When I confirm the negative, I wont even bother coming back on here with another journal post...in fact, I think ill just delete my profile...hows THAT for being negative!

Thank you all, to the wonderful people ive met on here, who have prayed for, and encouraged me. God bless you!

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by prart, May 10, 2011
Please just don't give up yet even if you feel good at all about yourself just give it up to God l remember a few weeks ago l felt really bad about the disappointing months l had spent trying and at the end of each cycle l would get a negative preg test BFN. After doing everything right observing every single detail it all just didn't work out for us & right now l am in my 12th month of TTC but l feel this group has helped me refocus & not let go the hope that l have of getting pregnant and holding a baby in my arms. Don't give up just yet you being a Christian know that in the fullness of time God makes everything perfect & while we were sinners Christ died for us so just believe God is the with you & when his time come & when its right he will give you that baby. Right now l have told myself that there is something that not yet right in my life for God to bless me with a child l need to put my life in order for him to trust me enough to be responsible of bringing up and naturing that child in the way he wants.

I don't know if l am making any sense to you but l just wanted to encourage you not to be so negative l still need you here for your support and encouragement.

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by MrsREID, May 10, 2011
Thank you for your encouraging words..Im actually okay now..ive been having some cramps this morning but still no period..im gonna take a pregnancy test in about 3 days..

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by prart, May 11, 2011
thats good news to hear am glad you decided to stay you never know maybe God will make it happen for you this month


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