So I caved and took a first response early pregnancy test since I am suppose to start this Friday. It was a BFN ='[. If I was pregnant it should have shown up on the test right??? Dangit I am so upset I could break something. I cannot handle the let downs anymore. I just can't. I am such a defective person and nothing in the world will ever change the fact that I will never be a mom. sigh... I thank everyone for all of the support. It has helped so much. I am slowly going into depression. I am beyond irritable at this point and I feel sad.
On that note I am going to go cry myself to sleep. After 8 years of trying and NEVER conceiving, that says enough right there. The doctors say I don't ovulate on my own but they did not do any pre-test of my ovaries to see if I ovulate on my own, I know I am a pessimist but I can't help how I am feeling. *tears* ... Now I am rambling. I just feel so misunderstood and cursed.