Jun 26, 2011
My life has taken a turn. What used to get me going everyday has changed. I used to be content, but now jelousy is what runs my life. I only see the negatives and the misfortunes of my life while i envy everyone else. I know in the back of my mind i got things going from me but i still concentrate on the negative. I think the worst thing i do to fuel it is going on facebook and see everyone else's life and how mine doesnt measure up. and for the first time ever i feel old. like times running out. (even though im only 20). Instead I WANT people to envy me, and to pay attention to me. But i feel average. my accomplishments seem minimal campared to the people (girls) im interested or that look up to (guys). Now ive been so worried about if my life is worthwhile. Its crazy but it almost feels like a midlife crisis even though im only 20. I just wanna be recognized and envyed just a little. I just want the things ive never been able to have a girlfriend, respect, wisdom, happieness, good income, more friends, more things to do. Its hard trying to put these feelings of jelousy, resentment, bitterness, anger, hate, insecurity, discontent and hopelessness away. but i think the key to all of it is jelousy. WHAT CAN I DO? AM I JUST GOING THROUGH A PHASE? HOW LONG WILL IT LAST? WILL THEY GET WORSE? IS THIS GOING TO MAKE ME DO SOMETHING I REGRET? HOW IS IT EFFECTING THE OTHER AREAS OF MY LIFE? PLZ HELP!!!