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Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room Part 46

Aug 06, 2011 - 207 comments
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tramadol

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ultram

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Recovery

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Healing



Good Morning Tramadol Warriors and welcome!

It's a good day.

Happy to see all of you. This is a great place to be to come off Tramadol.

Welcome, snuggle down and get comfy.

Love and healing,
Emily

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by EmilyPost, Aug 06, 2011
Hi Steve!  You aren't annoying.  Promise. It's what we all did in the beginning try to get off Tramadol. We talked alot, wrote alot, posted many times a day. You need to cause the withdrawal is such a trip and it makes our brains race and talk.  

I am for telling everyone the truth.  Tell them both the truth. It's nice to not have to remember what lie you told last. I speak from experience!

My philosophy recently became ... try to be friendly to everyone regardless of what I feel they have "done to me."  People really are fighting their own Mighty Battles ... and it seems to be a good plan to be kind.

I just wanted to let you know that because Tramadol has a 48 hour half life, what you do now will effect you the most strongly at 48 hours out.  Tapering seems like a good plan for you.  I hope you have some b-12 sublinguals. They were the most helpful to me of anything I used.

You can do it!

Love,
Emily

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by EmilyPost, Aug 06, 2011
Aw, Steve you are too kind.

Oh yes, sublinguals, under the tongue. Vitamin B-12.  You slip it under the tongue when you feel like your whole body is fractured and stupid from tramadol withdrawal.  Just let it melt.  I used alot of sublingual b-12 because it helped.  Hoping a vitamin store may have that for you.

Thailand sounds amazing.



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by toloveandbeloved2, Aug 06, 2011
Hi Steve,

I'm new here too, but have been exactly where you are now.  It will get better, just taper slowly and each day will be one less to get through.  Emily is right, just level honestly with both.  And let providence take care of the rest.  Just because someone may not like to hear the truth, it is always right to speak it.  The results are always the best, even though it might sting a little at first.  I am alone too, so I know how you feel.  You need someone right now. Even if it is someone behind a keyboard, we are here.  You can do this if you want it bad enough.  We all have to want to be rid of this evil poison, which is exactly what Tramadol is.  I have a post here>>>http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Addiction-Substance-Abuse/Tramadol-addiction/show/1564881 so you can get a little history.  It is so important to focus on good, clean, positive things.  Eat good food, drink lots of luids and if you can, get some kind of exercise.  It helps the brain start to kick in and function the way God intended it to.  Hang in there....and speak the truth in love and you can't go wrong.  

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by Lindalistless, Aug 07, 2011
Emily so glad to see you posting again, thank you so much for this forum. You are the main reason I am now on day 17. I had the very first amazing day since this nightmare started. Spent the whole day outside enjoying the weather and my husband. Looking for better days tramadol free. Steve~ in your rambling (just kidding) you made a lot of good points about thinking of the positive that are coming out of this.  There are all the things you have mentioned and more. Thank you for reminding me. Beloved2~ welcome, the more the merrier. It's been pretty slow around here. Hate to see you going through it. But nice to know we're not alone. I'll go check out your story and maybe get to know you better...

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by seekingbetterdays, Aug 07, 2011
Good morning Emily.  Haven't posted in a couple years but remain one of your success stories.  

Haven't used Trams or anything else since July 2008.  That was it for me ... DONE and DONE.  It was a long bad ride out of that hell-hole called addiction, but worth it.

I was all alone with my problem when I first met you on this blog.  My job demanded I suffer in silence and there was no other human support available.  

You saved me.

The power of your support and the comfort of this blog pulled my butt right out of the fire.  I'll always remember that.  I'll always remember YOU.

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by toloveandbeloved2, Aug 07, 2011
Good morning Steve and all,

No need to get the lizard out, just let him snuggle up with you and keep you company!  When I lived in Florida they were a constant companion and they don't bite:-)  As for your addiction being your fault, you are right.  Admitting it has to come before it can ever be broken so you are right on track.  Good job in talking to the ladies!!  Keep going one step at a time, it will get better!  I'm going to check out Bruce Lipton....I for one DO believe there is a sinister conspiracy behind the pharm industry.  Call me a "conspiracy theorist" but I've seen too much and experienced more and never have been one to just be lead around blindly without asking 3 important questions: Why, Says Who and Who Are "They"?  (As in "they" say....)  
Steve, as long as we all come to realize that the answers to life are not found in a bottle of anything, then we are ready for real life and truth.  I hope that you just keep hanging in there and fighting....you are in a battle!!  Stand tough and soon the fog will begin to lift.  Do you have access to any clean, funny and uplifting movies? They are a great help, and I also found that doing puzzles helped me....made my brain have to work a little and helped pass the time.  And as for your rambling.....ramble on!!  Isn't that what this is all about?  Having people to talk to and getting all of it out?  It helps us get through the hard times to be able to talk to someone and just release some of the frustration and pain.  

I hope today is a good one for you...get some sunshine again and go sea bathing, it works wonders for most anything!

God bless you.................~julianna~

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by studentoflife59, Aug 07, 2011
This forum is so fabulous!! I was clueless about what was happening in my body as I lengthened the times between taking tramodol. My doctor told me it was non-addictive...as I HATE addictions. Another one of those Cosmic Jokes!!  Not so funny!! My body started twitching, and sleep was impossible. I started putting two and two together, and then looked up tramadol withdrawels and found this wonderful exchange of personal experiences and info. I really like the anti-depressant factor....have been active and involved more than in years. So I was warring with whether to keep on them or cut them out of my life and follow my strong committment to being addiction-free.  Then I ran out. OMGosh...one of the MOST HORRIBLE nights of my life ensued. All I wanted was relief. Even sought out friends who might have pain relievers of any other kind just to get me through the night until I could get some more!! No luck with that....
  I believe that everything happens for a good reason....and I know why that happened. Cause now I'm pi---- off! At myself for not researching more in the beginning, and that the Dr. told me it was non-addictive...and that I'm suffering. But it helped me to decide "NO MORE". Now I'm tapering off...and can't wait til it's all out of my system!!
  Approximately how long will this take? And I have a huge headache today...have taken one this morning....and will take only one more tonight. Plan on sticking to that for a couple of days...then cut back to only one...then DONE!
   I was taking 2 in the morning and 2 at night b-4...and occasionally 3 when I was down about something and wanted to be brainless. *(how embarassing...but there it is).
  Am enjoying all the wonderful sharings on this page, and will be joining in more in the future. Steve...! Hang in there, friend! Your honesty and bravery is refreshing! And I'm an oil painter, so am so impressed that you're living in a hut by the sea! Hope you're writing all about it...what a great book that would make! Much love to you all in your struggles...:*D

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by anaenlima, Aug 07, 2011
The second time I got hooked on tramadol I was prescribed pregabalin for pain and anxiety after a few months. The second day of taking this I felt no need for the tramadol anymore. None whatsoever, after I had been relying on it to get out of bed for months. Now I know it may not be a good idea to take another drug to get rid of the tramadol, but it may be worth researching. Pregabalin is not an opiate. Is it addictive?
By the way, the first time I got hooked I got hold of tramadol in drop form and started taking one less drop every week. It was long, but it worked. I went on it again after a year because I remembered how well it had worked for my depression and I was becoming very depressed again.
Good luck to all!

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by toloveandbeloved2, Aug 07, 2011
Hi Steve,

Typical cat behavior, your lizards won't do that:-)  I'm only on day 5 of being tram free and each day is different.  I have huge emotional upsets which for me are far worse than any physical discomfort.  That is the result of the anti-depressant dependance and how it can have an effect on our mental well being.  But after being on this poison for 4 years it's going to take time for our bodies to recover and start functioning normally.  Just think about it like this......a year from now you'll either still be fighting this and wishing you would have stuck it out or you will be past all this really yukky stuff and grateful that you toughed it out, hard as it can be at times.  Just try to keep yourself occupied and set some small goals.  Small....like making yourself take a walk each day or starting a journal and committing to writing something everyday.  Whatever you do, when you are at your worst remember that you are not alone and you are loved.  
And if your cat comes back, go ahead and share your tuna......your kindness may turn him your way:-):-)  And the sickness and dizziness will pass...hang in there, it does truly get better.   ~julianna~

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by Lindalistless, Aug 07, 2011
Steve, the problem with tapering so fast is your body never gets time to ajust before the next taper. You wind up prolonging the agony. You can go back up alittle on the need and wait to even out before you taper down again slowly. Some people say cold turkey isn't anywhere near as bad as a fast taper and then c/t. I hate to see you suffering so bad. Which ever way you choose, you have to be commended for your courage. You can still do this.....  Sending you love and encouragment.

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by Lindalistless, Aug 07, 2011
Steve for some reason my last post was placed before yours. It says 4hrs ago. But I just posted it . So please read post above yours....

Your w/ds sound just like mine. There is no way I could have tapered like that and then gone cold turkey.

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by Lindalistless, Aug 08, 2011
Alright I give up.This thing is going crazy. sorry...

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by toloveandbeloved2, Aug 08, 2011
Hang in there Steve....I read on a post somewhere that "slow and steady wins the race" and when I was tempted to go off my schedule I would remember that....it's true.  You've been on a pretty significant dose and the double whammy effect of this poison; opiate and anti-depressant makes it a monster!  Are you able to get any B-12?  That does help and also a strong cup of coffee during the day helps too.  You can do this.  
Linda, your posts are funny...the "post" button got stuck:-):-):-)  It's Monday morning......and 6 days Tram free.....Can anyone say how long the lethargic depressed feelings last before they start to fade?  Seems like I'll have a really good day, then the next I'm knocked back into the pit.  My sleep is fine now...8-9 hours a night and I still wake up feeling like I was dragged behind a bus all night.  I remember that from a long time ago but not sure how long it could take.  Weeks?  Any input would really help.  It's like being on a roller coaster....up and down, up, down and around...etc, etc........

Love and blessings to all        ~julianna~

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by Lindalistless, Aug 08, 2011
Steve- everytime you post I can feel the pain your in. I'm so sorry. Try going back up to maybe 2 in one dose. Till you start evening out. Don't be impatient. It will take alittle time. Once your evened out, cut back 1/4 pill for a week. You body has been through a lot of trama. There is no shame in slowing this down. Your anger and determination will get you through. It really is an individual thing. Only you know what your body is feeling. From 8 (50mg) pills a day, I was able to cut out 1 pill from my daily schedule every week until I got to 4 pills a day then I could only reduce it by 1/4 pill a day for a week before I could go down again. Still didn't feel great all that time. But not cold turkey miserable. When I got to 2 pills a day I jumped off. Then I felt like you've been feeling. The worst of it for about three days. Jullianna- Ater that it start to get alittle better everyday but as you can probably tell the withdawels are not linear and play with you mind and body for awhile. But it really does get slightly better everyday. I had my really significant turn at day16. I finally had energy. But the lethargy crept back in the nest day. But it is much better here at day 19. See, everyone's body is different. But from everything I've read around day 20, some sooner some later, you start to spurts of great. For me after day three all I knew for sure is I was never going back. I'm so thankful to be where I am now. Anyone attemping this is a hero in my book. Congratulations Jullianne!!! The good news is ( never lose sight of) it does completely go away and you do get your pretram life back. You do come out of that fog that you didn't even realize was so thick until you got off. Steve, you think you were creative before... You'll feel like a new person just happy to be fully alive again the creative juices will flow like never before. I've heard that from so many musicians I know who have come off this. How ever you have to do it. DO IT!!!!! We're in this together, love you guys....

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by toloveandbeloved2, Aug 08, 2011
Thanks so much Linda...encouraging words are absolutely the best medicine for this struggle:-)  Steve, don't feel bad or defeated about backing your taper.....you were on quite a bit and this drug seems to hold pretty tight the more you have in your system.  Linda's right, when you feel evened out start out small....I couldn't jump off until I got down to 1/2 a day for a week.  We are all different and have taken different amounts so let your body and your guts be your guide.  
Something that helped me...this is weird...but during the restless leg attacks when I went to bed I would get up and get a cheese and mayo sandwich then go back to bed.  It worked!  Real cheese though, not cheese food product:-):-)
Just remember Steve, you have to do this very slowly.  It is so dangerous to just stop.....I did that once and ended up in the ER.  Because of that I now have Tinnitus....my right ear screams and buzzes nonstop, 24-7.  I thank God that I did not have a seizure but I felt like I was having a heart attack. The ER doc put me back on Tram to keep my from shutting down I guess.  So just be patient, let your body adjust to each small reduction and soon you'll be able to jump off for good.  You can do it!!!

Love and mercy to you guys!  

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by Lindalistless, Aug 08, 2011
Steve- That was not rambling, that was beautiful!! I can't wait till you are fully back. Please don't stop posting others need to hear what we are all feeling in such discriptive words. You are an incredibly awesome talented person. The world is a better place because you're around. So excited for all of us. I guess I just needed to get where I did, to figure out what I actually had. Lord, help me never to forget the horrible black hole I was in.....

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by Lindalistless, Aug 09, 2011
Yep, brain zaps. Been there. Sounds like your on your way. Make sure you even out before you go down further. I don't know why but the closer you get to the end the harder it is. Just this demon not wanting to let go, I guess. glad your hangin in. Day 20 for me. Still not getting much sleep. Most of my noticable symtoms are at night. Been swimming every morning for excersize. Lots of lethargy. Just pushing through. Mental statis is way better. Love to all...

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by kakei77, Aug 10, 2011
Hello there,

I've been searching and searching for honest information about tramadol users and their struggles with this hell drug. I've been using it for scoliosis back pain for about 3 years now. I'm 23 years old..I shouldn't be using this stuff in the first place! Anywhoo..

I'm so grateful for this journal and everyone posting. I've been contemplating an easy way to get this drug out of my body. I've thrown out my medication because that's the only way I can see myself quitting. I tried a couple nights ago and didn't sleep for a good 36 hours until I gave in a took a 50 mg just to be able to move for an hour.

Now I'm really trying to quit. I'm not looking forward to the restless legs/chest/arms, body aches, sleeplessness, and frustration. But I just watched a video on Youtube and this guy had used a tens unit for his restlessness. So I'm going to try that as soon as it sets in.

I've bought vitamins that are supposed to help according to the Thomas Recipe, but I'm not sure if that's going to help.

Are there any suggestions as to what I can do to survive this? To top off the end of the world feeling that comes with withdrawals, my boyfriend just dumped me. So it's even harder. I've never used the internet to communicate with people about my Tramadol issues, so I'm grateful to be a part of this community finally. Everyone seems so amazingly encouraging and helpful to one another! Plus it will be good if I can type out my progress rather than sit alone hurting..

Hope to hear from you! I love you already just because you made this a place of refuge for me.


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by ullr, Aug 10, 2011
Hi Steve,
We have much of the same history with drugs etc. I went from a quite hard amphetamine abuse to tramadol and were at high dozes: 1500-2000 mg a day (at the worst) for about 4-5 years. Tramadol works well as replacment for other drugs...

Its now 5 months since i quitted tramadol, and I did no tappering. Well, the last 3-4 days before I stopped, I took about 600-900 mg tramadol and combined it with codeine. The day I stopped I bought 100 25mg codeine tabs, because I thougt it would help me. It really did not. I had to go to my doctor and he prescribed me benzos for sleep.
I was really sick.

I had tried to tapper many times, but always went back to high dozes after a failed tappering. For me it was best to just go cold turkey and try to live trough it. And I did!

Tok me about 15-20 days to get throu the acute withdrawals. It was hell. The zapping, the dizziness, the anxiety, the feeling of falling inside my self. I have been quitting several other drugs, but nothing compares to this!
But it gets better! You will live through it.

Do all the things that people on this forum recoment: Hot baths or showers. Walk. Listen to music. Just take an hour at the time. You will make it!

One thing: The desire for other drugs, or other bad habits will probebly return. It did for me. I havent done anything stupid yet, and I will not. But the crawling is back...

Wish you all the best.



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by toloveandbeloved2, Aug 10, 2011
Hi Kakei,

Welcome and you have come to the best place to help you through this.  You are not alone....come here often and just read some of the older posts, they will be great encouragement to you.  The vitamins help tremendously, especially the B12...and magnesium really helps with the restless legs.  You are so young dear.....thank God you are stopping this now.  I am 49 and have severe Scoliosis with a torn L-5.  The best thing I can say is this:  The more you exercise and train, and get your back muscles and ab muscles as strong as possible, the less pain you will have.  After living with this pain for over 30 years, believe me, I have tried everything short of surgery (should have done that as a young adult or teen).  Strength in your core will keep the Scoli from pulling and spasming.  Sadly, the Tram actually makes it worse over time.  
And if you are able to walk, that helps so much...enables your brain to start firing normally again.  It takes a little time but you will get back to your pre-tram self.  I'm so sorry to hear about your boyfriend.  That hurts....but if he was not able to stand beside you and help you through this, then his concern was not for you but for himself.  There is someone out there who will love you for you....just wait in hopeful anticipation:-)  You can do this....an hour at a time.  If you can, get some good, clean, uplifting and funny movies.  No dark heavy stuff, you need happy things to help encourage yourself.  

Remember, you are not alone and many others have done this, you can too!

blessings to you...................~julianna~

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by Lindalistless, Aug 10, 2011
I know Steve that's the thing about tapering, it seems you wind up suffering ( maybe not as bad )and not able to function well for how ever long it takes. It does work well for people. Whatever you decide, you know better than anyone. Just please be careful. Be gentle with yourself. Either way you will come through this. But your right, you CANNOT do this without air conditioning. Hot baths also work tremendously. Stay strong .....

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by Lindalistless, Aug 10, 2011
Had 7hrs of sleep last night for the first time in months. So very thankful!! Kakei77- I'm so sorry for everything your going through. This truely is the best place for you. Read and ask all the questions you need to to. Our prayers are with you. Some suppliments aggrevated my symtoms so be careful and listen to your body. Hylands restful legs and hylands nerve tonic worked well for me I ate them like candy. They are homiopathic and won't hurt you. You can get them at any drug store. I also saw the video on the tens unit. It makes sense. Hope it works well for you. Also a heating pad for when you just can't get in the tub. So glad to be part of all you strong people on this forum. You have carried me through. I am forever grateful<3 Much love to all of you...

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by fieryrockchick, Aug 10, 2011
I thought I was the only person going through this hell.



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by fieryrockchick, Aug 10, 2011
I have been feeling so alone and now feel like i have hope when I stumbled onto this thread.

i have been taking tramadol for 6 months, it being prescribed as a painkiller along side with tamoxifen.  When I asked the Dr if it was addictive, I was assured that it wasn't.  Having researched it a little bit I thought it was a good thing and didnt think anything more about it.  Kept taking the pills, 2 x 50mg four times a day. everything was peachy, went back to work, big smile on my face - no pain! About a month ago i started have strange things happen - i started hallucinating, losing time, forgetting simple stuff and names of items I use everyday, erratic behaviour, mood swings, night sweats..you name it I seemed to get it.  My husband thought it might be the Tramadol and suggested I cut back on it. Stopped taking them completely and thought I was dying!

I have never felt so ill in all my life :-(  The crazy thoughts going round my head were just terrible...i have managed to cut back to 1 x 50mg three times a day but the knowledge that i can make this all go away by chucking some little pills down my throat is gnawing away at me all the time.
I know i have gone through so much pain and heartache and mental anguish already and achieved so much but ...
I quite stupidly thought that i was the only one going through this but i have been given hope today, reading all your posts xxx



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by pharma9, Aug 10, 2011
Oh fiery...I have been reading your comments and feel greatly for you.You are so young to need tamoxifen and then to find out that the non addicting drug you were taking is truly very addicting and sneaky.
However with determination you can overcome this as many people have and there will be more people who will help you along.
Tramadol is a sneaky drug that is a synthetic narcotic that has antidepressant properties like effexor.In reality you are detoxing from the narcotic effect and the antidepressant effect.
If you follow the Thomas recipe and take vitamins and supplements and herbals you can get through this and it helps a lot.
The Thomas recipe is posted in the bottom right hand corner of the main page on the addictions forum.
Some people take nyquil without the decongestant to help sleep for a while because that is one of the toughest parts of detox.Also the amino acids help produce the brain neurotransmitters that are affected by the drug.
You can read through the old threads to see how others have tackled detox
Also others will log in and help you along

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by Lindalistless, Aug 10, 2011
Fiery~ Welcome to the forum. Is like to say I'm happy to see you, but if you are here it means you are just miserable as the rest of us. For that I am grisly sorry. Now that your here just know we are all in this together and will help as much as we can. Your greatest source of help is just reading all the posts that have come before. So much great info. Please feel free to gripe, ask questions, tell what has helped you. Hopefully you w/d won't be as long because youve only been on for six months. I'll be praying that's the case. We're with you.....

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by kakei77, Aug 10, 2011
toloveandbeloved2,
Wow..
I've never been part of any online community and whatnot, but just by reading a few things that you have said, it got me crying! I made it all day without crying but just knowing that you all are so supportive makes me hopeful and grateful that there are loving people out there!

tramadolsteve,
I'm attempting a cold turkey, but I have a few old norcos left so I've been taking a few a day just to help myself. I know it sounds stupid to take these, but it's helping. I'm going to cut down on those during the next few days. Should I just stop taking them completely?

Things I've read online that are supposed to help made me go out and buy lots of vitamins. I've bought Vitamin B6, Potassium, Magnesium, Multivitamins..and my sister brought me some fish oil and L-tyrosine today.

I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm trying to tough it out as best as I can. My boss gave me this week & next week off, but school's starting soon so I'm feeling rushed to hurry and kick this habit!!

Thanks to everyone for their support! I really appreciate it. :)





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by fieryrockchick, Aug 11, 2011
Thank you for your kind comments xxx

Not having a good day so won't be writing much..can't stop crying and my  head hurts so much
going to get the thing from The Thomas diet and try those, anything is better than this.

once again, thank you xx

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by Lindalistless, Aug 11, 2011
Rabbthole~ Haven't heard from you since Aug 3., hope all is well. I know you were on day 23. I am now on day 22 and really feeling on the mend. If that's the case for you I wish you all the best. If life has gotten busy, that's a great thing. Know that you helped others and we are grateful. All the best in your tram free life!

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by Lindalistless, Aug 11, 2011
Fiery- So sorry to here how badly you are suffering. Hasn't been very long since I was there. Hang in there, you WILL make it! Do whatever it takes. There were times I took 5 baths in 1 night. Somtimes the only thing that would give me any kind of relief. I know the days are long and you feel all alone. Time really slows down. First know that the negative thoughrs going through your head are the tram. Ignore them! And concentrate on hopes and dreams. Get angry at the drug and remember this time so you will never go back. You are courageous. Be so thankful you found out what this drug was doing to you when you did. Instead of years from now. I was also told it was non-addictive and that I could be on it for years . It wasn't flash 4yrs later that I found out on line what was happening to me and how hard it would be to stop. I'm so very thankful to be getting my life back. You will be,too. The first 3 or4 days are by far the worst. Be strong. Anything else you do in you life will seem easy....

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by nursingstudent001, Aug 11, 2011
I have been on Tramadol for over two years now. I take 1/2 of a 50 mg for sciatica every night. I told my husband that I don't feel right lately and that my stomach hurts all the time. Went to the Dr. he prescribed carafate which I didn't take. (took aloe water instead) Then I told the Dr. that I am starting to experience some heart palpitations after taking the tramadol, he said "Oh thats pretty normal". DUH!! He sent me for an EKG and dropped the subject. I am so mad! I treid to get off tramadol a few weeks back and thought I was going to die! I need help...school starts in 2 weeks and I need to get off these and get back to normality. Please, if anyone has any suggestions. And I thought (was told) all these symptoms were from menopause!




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by Lindalistless, Aug 11, 2011
Nursingstudent- Off 25mg of tramadol in 2 weeks. Definately doable. Do it and don't look back. We're with you...

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by rabbithole, Aug 11, 2011
Wow! So many posts for the few days that I have been away. Welcome all newcomers to this supportive forum. I am so happy to hear that you are noticing major changes Linda, and I know you must have enjoyed those 7 hours of sleep like no other. I am so happy for you, and so excites about all of this healing.
I have been feeling so much better, better each day. I have been busy taking care of many things in my life that have gone neglected for a while. It is so weird, its almost like I have been away and I am returning home after a very long trip abroad.

I have been reacquainting myself with my life. I have a great life, I am so blessed. How did I get so messed up with this tramadol?

MY sleep has been good, restless legs are ok if I use a heating pad as I fall asleep. I do notice a little improvement each day. I do notice that I am still more lethargic than more former self. The depression is improving but still here. I *strongly* recommend the 5HTP and sublingual b-12, also magnesium and potassium are a huge help. But 5 HTP is really key.

I have been exercising more, getting out and doing things every day is a huge help. Looking forward to being less lazy real soon hopefully. Keep up the good work everyone!

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by rabbithole, Aug 11, 2011
31 days! Going strong, feeling better each day. I am still a bit low on energy, but I have confidence it will return in time.

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by Lindalistless, Aug 11, 2011
Awesome rabbithole 31 days. Incredible so happy for you. Thanks for coming back and letting us know what's working for you now and how your feeling. It's a big help for me because I'm headed in your direction. I know just how you feel about feeling like you've been away a long time. I guess we actually have. Hard to explain to the people around us though, huh? I think that's another reason why this forum means so much. I know there is no way I could have understood if I hadn't gone through it myself. Keep going strong. Proud of all of you....

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by kakei77, Aug 12, 2011
Tramadolsteve,

How is it that this drug destroys your libido? Ughhhh it is very annoying since me and my bf are not longer together. My goodness I never thought this stupid drug would destroy every bit of my life.

Goodness..I can't find anything to do but sleep and lay on my heating pad when I can't sleep. It's total hell. I'm going one day without anything whatsoever other than vitamins and some muscle relaxers.

I definitely admire those who are over a month off this devil drug.

High five to you all! I don't know how you did it, but it's definitely a battle.

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by Lindalistless, Aug 12, 2011
You all are ding great. Many have come before and have made it completely out . You will too. Life will still be life. But  you will be better equiped and feel a renewed desire to make something of yourself. Go with it and live....

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by rabbithole, Aug 12, 2011
Steve

you are 100% right about the fluoride and the sunshine. Sounds like you are well on your way to recovery.

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by Lindalistless, Aug 13, 2011
Steve- Early in the morning here. Been awake for hours. Symtoms have come back. Not as bad as your suffering but I do very much understand where yoiur at. That despair I felt right before I decided to jump off. I had been suffering already for so long , scared of how long I still had ahead of me. Then the tram was always working on my brain telling me I was alone, a failure..... Please know that what is going on in your head is so far from the truth. You are so strong. You have hit this thing head on. You HAVE come a long way. You are so much closer to the end than you think.  You have set your goal. Don't take your eyes off the prize. Remember your hopes and dreams. Those are the things that are really real. Don't stuggle against your symtoms. Know its your nerveous system trying to heal itself. Just make it through one more day and then the next.   Sending you love and prayers....YOUR NOT ALONE.

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by Lindalistless, Aug 13, 2011
Sounds like a plan Steve. You are blessed to have an amazing life. I'm sure your parents will be thrilled to have the real you back and would love to do whatever they could to help. You are a dreamer and this is a dream worth pursuing. Hey, I've noticed that forums are usually pretty slow in July and Aug. You know vacations and all. I also wanted to tell you this forum is all about honesrty, just saying what you feel helps people. Makes them feel like they're not alone in there thoughts. So don't feel like you have to be upbeat if you don't really feel like it. Though we all enjoy what you have to say. Also don't know if you know there is a place on this site where you can post your pics. If you have some of your paintings I'm sure people would be interested in seeing them. Just a thought.....

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by TRAMMAN999, Aug 14, 2011
I posted this on the previous page, consequently I guess nobody saw it. Just shows what a state I'm in !

An Entry from my tracker journel :
All that hard work and suffering -  and days behind me  !!
Was soooo down, sore and extremely miserable. Knew that if I took 2x50mg would make a difference. And, of course, it did. Had some semblance of being alive. BUT >>>>.... dad   di da    di da   !
Even from 200 (after being off) tried without this morning   -  and I dived into "misery" with symptoms. God, I must be extremely sensitive to this stuff.
What to do now is the question. The thought of more days of extreme misery after just going through it !!!???
Of course it was apparent to those around me     ..................    and war broke out yet again. That part really hurts me deep down. What a stupid weakling I am. (knowing what the consequences would be !?)


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by TRAMMAN999, Aug 15, 2011
I've got to act; and act fast. 1.) before I'm back up to 6 / 7 / 800mg/day. I'm not going there again !?      2.) My family -  (for them) - got to go through the hell again (probably/maybe?  - it might not be as long,) but I do know that it will come and I know all the stages of CT.)
I have to go on holiday with my wife. And we will be meeting some people. "I don't want to go" !  I would rather use the 3 weeks to CT on my own, and get some semblance of getting through the day in a "comfortable" way.
I say "I have to"    - After 'World War 3' this morning it was agreed that I take the first week of the 'holiday' as CT.
Not ideal situation (obviously) -   I would prefer not to have an audience !!
They, of course, will not know what I am going through  -- for one reason because I look ok  -  I don't have anything to show why I am suffering  -  and if you aint been there, we all know that people will never understand  -  and they will never understand why a little capsule can have such an effect  -  Why ?  cause they aint been there !! [Sorry, I'm rambling  -  think I'm scared of the situation to come.]
I'm carrying my little toy netbook, so will log on occasionally to read how other people are coping and thus give me strength to get thru  -  as it has done before. Here we go   !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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by Lindalistless, Aug 15, 2011
Tramman- Good for you. Looks like your not giving up. Remember to read as many posts as you can. There are some great helps here. Also, ask questions. I don't care how dumb they might sound to you. Let us know what your thinking, because chances are we've been there and its just the tram talking. Totally understandable wanting to be alone during the worst part of this. Maybe if you can just explain to them to let you be shut up in a room to just get through the first 3 to 4 days. Explain how that would be vital to your recovery. After that you would definately welcome their support. This will take awhile to recover totally from but after that first week you will realize this helleous nightmare is definately coming to an end. And there is no turning back. Good luck to you....

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by Lindalistless, Aug 16, 2011
One thing I have found out, all of us who have gone through this battle have lost friends. Or at least people we thought were friends. I have affirmed over and over that honesty is still the best way to go. If nothing else you find out who your true friends are. It's a great way to start your new life. Congrats on the aircon. What a difference huh....

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by honorbounddane, Aug 17, 2011
hello everyone.
many times i have gone thru these forums when i was battling norco adicction. i have reached the point that i need to say something cause it nice to read a forum where people are battling this at the same time you are instead of reading things that were posted years ago.
in 06 a friend of mine gave me some painkillers cause i have a bad back, i was told i had a slipped disk. so i took it and it was awesome, it helped sooo much and it made me feel good. so i started getting them from my friends and family cause they all have medical issues.  when i didnt have them i started drinking, not everyday but alot more than the past. needless to say by 2010 i was a full blown addict and alcoholic, not ever being normal. well in march of 2010 i drank alot at a party and went home and fell on my glass table, sliced up my back real good but didnt know it till the morning when i got up hungover with blood all over my bed and pulling glass pieces out of my back. i quite that day, and havent touched it since. i gave up pills at the same time. i got a job in septemer of that year and i was standing constantly, at the end of my shift i was crying cause the pain was soo bad. went to my doc and he prescribed norco 10s, i took the normal at first. but after a couple months i was up to 15-20 a day, i needed to stop. in march of this year i quit, wasnt easy but wasnt as bad as tramadol withdrawel. i would rather take that time of norco detox than anything about tramadol. well, in may i went back to the doc, and told him i was done with pain killers, but i do need something for the pain like ib proferin. he gave me tramadol, he said it was like tylenol, wasnt addictive and there isnt any withdrawal. bull crap. the first time i ran out was the worst thing ive ever been through in my life. so i saw it was a problem. told the doc, he said it wasnt the tramadol. so he didnt help so decided to wean, i have 50mg tabs, i was taking 20 to 25 a day. im down to 15 a day and this next week is 12 then 10 then 8 etc, each week till im off. sad part is the day after i take less that i still feel like crap, but it goes away. i think all of you are so strong for what your going thru and i cant wait for the day im free. im waiting to get to 4 tabs till i talk to my doc and tell him what im planning on doing, im thinking of getting a script for lyrica, klonopion, and some kind of sleeping aid. im also stockpiling all the vitamins and mineral things i can for when its time to jump off. but the scripts im only taking for a month to get thru the worst of it. oh, btw, i have 3 kids, a single dad that works full time and goes to school for a better future and my boss and teacher has been very understanding but in the middle of nov im starting an externship and wont be able to take days off so i hope this crap is out of my system by then. im just soooo scared of whats going to happen. thanks for listening.

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by honorbounddane, Aug 17, 2011
oh and the messed up part is i have 2 bulged discs and a slipped disc and have to have surgery to fix it which is why im on meds in the first place. so it kinda ***** to get off this stuff just to turn around and have to do it all over again once i have my surgery.


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by TramadolSteve, Aug 18, 2011
Just a really quick note, will say more later, When I CT from codiene i never really had a withdrawal. I just rememebered that about 6 months ago I replaced the tramadol with codiene, just stopped tramadol dead and replaced with codiene, I didnt experience any Tramadol withdrawal. Unfortunatley when the codiene ran out I just went straight back to the tramadol. If you can get codiene it mighte be a way to get of Tramadol without withdrawals. If I could I would do this, but cant get any codiene.

I am down to 100mg a day! from 800mg(16pills) to 100(2pills) in two weeks. And only really had 1 bad day. The only other med I took was an amphetime type pill from pharmacy.  Chickened out from CT yesterday

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by TramadolSteve, Aug 19, 2011
MAN! The demonic dreams you have with this stuff are awesome!!! I dreamt that these demonic beings where eating me alive the other night! It was really painful, The dreams always involve crowds and crowds of people rioting and killing each other, demons chasing me. They are so real and they go on for hours and hours. Really good fun. Like being in a really well made Zombie movie. I always win in the end.

I am down to 1 pill (50mg) a day, from 16 to  1 pill without too much withdrawal. I will stay at 1 a day for a week or so then stop altogether.

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by Lindalistless, Aug 20, 2011
Hope everyone is doing well. My symtoms continue to come back. Hopefully for not too many days this time....

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by Lindalistless, Aug 20, 2011
My tracker's not working. It's now 39 days....

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by stewiedog, Aug 21, 2011
Hi everyone, I'm new to this forum. Thank God i found it!  I have tried quitting tramadol a few times over the past few months but not sucessful.  Long story short, i had breast cancer, many surgeries.  took norco right after surgery and the docs gave me tramadol to get off of norco.  WOW, I had NO idea how hard this would be.  So I take 100mg 3 times a day.  If I taper off 1/2 pill a week, that will lead me well into November, NO WAY!!  Is it better to quit cold turkey? Taper a little more.  When I take my 3rd dose at night, in the morning my body is usually sweating or diarrhea, you all know the crap that happens.  I HATE what this pill has done to me.  I look at my beautiful 3 children who deserve much more than this.  Their mom is just worried about how to get off of these damn pills because of my damn cancer.  I'm so sorry guys, but I have never been able to talk like this before.  Life has been so hard since 2008.  I feel like my youngest daughter has missed out on life so much.  Please God help me regain the resolve for life.  Thank you for this forum and help me to kick this awful awful poison!!!

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by Lindalistless, Aug 22, 2011
Stewiedog- so sorry to hear what you are going through. Know that there is always hope and much to live for. One of the major demons of this drug is it tries to convince you you have no hope. Everything the drs give it to you for pain,  depression, anxiety quits working for you after awhile and it starts to create these same thing only worse. Please read as many posts as you can. They will help you to make an informed decision. If you are still having cancer pain you really have know way of knowing for sure until you stop taking this tram and give your body a chance to recover. Please try and find yourself a Dr who is knowledgeable about withdrawel and is willing to help you off of this horrible drug. Many drs have  no idea of the dangers of this drug. But there are drs out there that have experience with patients wriggling with this drug. In my experience any drug would be better to take then this one. I don't know where you are in your cancer recovery, how much tram you take, how often and for how long. All those and more have to be taken into account . So please read the posts back to 2010. Please feel free to ask any specific questions you need to. We will help where we can. The anguish over your children is also very common with this drug. Don't let tram decieve you, get knowlegdable and get out. There are things you can do to help. You can do this!!! Things will get bette!!! You will enjoy your children again and they will enjoy you!!! Many people have gotten into this situation the same way you have and have gotten there lives back. Please know there is hope. Praying for you.....

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by NoraTorious, Aug 22, 2011
Hi, I am just checking in. It's been over six months since I stopped taking this monstrous drug. I am just beginning to feel regular, going out more, hanging out with friends, having energy. Last night, I was actually sleepy with out any meds, (I did end up taking my regular sleeping pills). I feel alert, and I am enjoying life more.

My pain is better, I am going through a pain program through my Dr.'s.

My husband has a job after 9 months of unemployment, and though I am alone and a bit bored during the day, I am managing.

Most of my withdrawals are gone, sleep is the last thing to come.

Good luck to all of you! Keep fighting!



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by NoraTorious, Aug 22, 2011
Oh, I wanted to check my ticker.

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by Lindalistless, Aug 22, 2011
Noratorious- thank you so much for checking back with us. We so need to hear what happens next. I'm somewhere around 30 some days feeling extreme fitigue and depression. Started again about 3  days ago. Not much happening on this site lately. Sure is great to hear from you. So happy you've gotten your life back congrats I guess the ticker hasn't been working. Not really sure what day I'm on. But I know I'm tram free!!!! Thank God!!!!!.....

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by TramadolSteve, Aug 23, 2011
I actually wish it wasn't so easy to buy Tramadol here, cracked on Sunday, took 8 pills, then 6 yesterday.The sleep was sooo goood. My problem is that even that I know the tramadol is bad I havent actually started experiencing negative effects whilst I am taking it, It makes me calm, happy and helps me sleep and stops me from drinking alcohol.



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by InTheGrips, Aug 23, 2011
Hello Everyone - I have spent the entire day reading through journals because I am ready to rid my life of Tramadol. I can't blame the doctors for my addiction because after having it prescribed and liking it, I continued to take it. For the past year, I have been taking about 6 50mg pills each day, sometimes more. I have 70 pills left and am wondering if this is enough to taper slowly. If I could hide from everyone for 5 days, I could try the more hard-core method, but I have two little girls and my husband is only home at nights. I feel so badly about myself and want to go back to the healthy me. If I could keep it a secret with a doctor, I would contact one for help, but I only imagine that it would be documented in my records forever. Being called a drug-addict would really be devastating since I'm the one among my family and friends that everyone turns to for support. Ugg. What a mess I've gotten myself into. Reading through all of these journal entries makes it that much scarier knowing what I'm up against. I think I just need this forum to know that there are people out there willing to support and understand me. It's too bad we can't all rent a house (on the beach) and detox together! I badly need a solid plan to get through this. Maybe I should start with a taper plan. Would anyone recommend starting by decreasing 50mg each week? I could start there. Thank you all for your honesty. I'm just getting the courage now to even be honest with myself:)

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by InTheGrips, Aug 23, 2011
I just wanted to say one more thing...THANK YOU EMILY and THANK YOU ALL for coming here to help everyone. I will only be able to get out of this situation with you. If you have any suggestions on the best way to use/view this forum, please let me know. I'm not sure which thread(s) to follow to stay in close touch:)

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by Lindalistless, Aug 23, 2011
InTheGrips- you are on your way already. Proud of you for making the decision. We will be hear for you. Everyone needs to start there taper where they feel comfortable. Listen to your body. You can ajust. But what you have suggested sounds reasonable. The other threads all the way back to 39 are excellent reading. Don't miss a word. It will be your lifeline. Unfortunately you can no longer communicate on those. So feel free to bookmark this thread and ask questions or just say what's on your mind. No judging hear. All support. We welcome you with open arms and wish you much strength and courage for the days ahead. It's a hard road, your not alone and it will be so worth it......

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by Lindalistless, Aug 23, 2011
Steve, So sorry to hear your back on the tram. But you are strong and when your ready you WILL succeed. Please don't wait to long this is a deceptive drug. You really don't realize the damage that has been done until you are totally off it and down the road aways. As your body repairs itself you start to realize all the things you have missed. The energy and pain free feeling you get on tram gives you a false sense of security. Hope you understand I am not judging you in any way. Just concerned. We are always here for you. You have so much to offer. Please don't be a stanger. Love and best wishes....

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by Lindalistless, Aug 23, 2011
InTheGrips- oops I misspoke. The first thread is 31. Lots to read....

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by MrKenny, Aug 25, 2011
I've been off cold turkey for a week today. These posts have been very helpful to understand what is going on and how long it takes to WD. I was only on Tramadol for 3 months and 150 MG a day (for bulging disc pain); but the withdrawal is very real.
I got off when the doctor's office was slow in renewing a prescription; I ran out of devil pill and started withdrawing. This wd is what tuned me in to 'not wanting to be owned by anything' I am already a health conscious 54yo Male, so I am more determined to get back to normal as soon as possible.   I have a very understanding lovely spouse and daughter; they are cognizant of how long it takes.  Thank GOD, I never got to the quantities of use that I read from some of you poor souls; and thank God I don't have the depression...I already have a high happiness, positivity & contentment level, so I know that helps.   And I am so thankful I have an non-addictive personality, I am not attracted to drugs, alcohol, etc...
I am not being smug or trivial about this; it's just my make-up;...It breaks my heart to see what all of you had to go through and I can now more understand and be compassionate towards those who are addicted to anything.
I AM SO THANKFUL I FOUND THIS SITE AND FOR THE CREATOR OF THIS THREAD.!♥♥♥

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by Lindalistless, Aug 25, 2011
MrKenny- you are so blessed to know that you were truely on an addictive substance. For a lot of us with cronic pain we had no idea for years. Our drs told us we could be on this for years and there were no wds from it. I for one (after many, many Dr appts, had to do research on my own. I being a non-.addictive personality myself had no idea this could be happening to me 4 1/2 yrs later. Much harder to get off of and longer for my nerveous system to heal. I am well on my way and very thankful. Thank you so much for not only reading but sharing your own experience. It will go far to help others on their way. God bless and congratulations...

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by Lindalistless, Aug 25, 2011
MrKenny- you are so blessed to know that you were truely on an addictive substance. For a lot of us with cronic pain we had no idea for years. Our drs told us we could be on this for years and there were no wds from it. I for one (after many, many Dr appts, had to do research on my own. I being a non-.addictive personality myself had no idea this could be happening to me 4 1/2 yrs later. Much harder to get off of and longer for my nerveous system to heal. I am well on my way and very thankful. Thank you so much for not only reading but sharing your own experience. It will go far to help others on their way. God bless and congratulations...

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by MrKenny, Aug 25, 2011
Thank you Linda,.... yes, if I didn't start withdrawing I wouldn't have known I was addicted. This is an extremely deceptive drug.  (I am pissed that the Doctor didn't warn me about the withdrawal.)
What I did for the first 5 days to cope is, I found that it is important to keep busy and keep the body moving so you are fooling your body that it is just sore from the physical movement and just keep distracted. I would go for long walks and shovel the garden; and just anything to keep moving. I actually embraced the pain so I would be reminded that I am withdrawing, as to never ever take that pill again. And being thankful my body is just doing what it is supposed to do in response to the drug.... The body doesn't lie....Okay, Lack of sleep and aches has been the hardest. I drink a lot of water, juice and eat fruit. I use an otc sleeping pill & Aleve. It helps but real sleep would be nice.
The first 4 days were the hardest; like bad case of the flu.  But Thankfully because of this board i knew there was the promise of "the other side' and what to expect.  Nightmares are weird and disturbing; my copious sweat really stinks and thrashing about trying to get that elusive sleep has been the worst....BUT I KNOW I AM GETTING BETTER EVERY SINGLE DAY!
Blessings to everyone working through this; keep looking forward to better days, and look around & think about every little thing that makes you Grateful.  There is a 'withdrawal free' future!

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by Lindalistless, Aug 25, 2011
Thanks so much for the encouraging words. Im now on day 36. Last couple days I've felt like I have stepped up to a higher plateau in my recovery. Still dreading the bad days. But learning each time I go thru this cycle that I come out a little further along the healing process. Just flow with the symtoms while there here knowing they will be gone again. Someday never to return..wishing everyone much strength.....

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by NoraTorious, Aug 26, 2011
Linda, thank you for keeping this thread going and kindly welcoming the newbies. Regarding withdrawals, remember, your mileage may vary. I felt good after 30 days, but I knew I was not out of the woods. It's been over 6 months and I am just beginning to get back to me. It may be my mistake of not exercising as much as I ought to. But I plan to start to start yoga classes and physical therapy, so I am hoping that might help out some.

It's taking me some time to recover mentally as well. But I am not craving Tramadol, which is the most important thing.

Everyone, stay with it. It is really hard, but it's so worth it to be off.

Keep fighting!

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by Lindalistless, Aug 26, 2011
NoraTorious- thanks for sharing. Sometimes I exercise and I feel I have aggregated my symptoms. So it can be very frustrating at times. I appreciate your honesty. That's what makes this thread so helpful. Glad to hear at 6 months you are just starting to feel yourself again.  Nothing is stopping me now and 6 months will go by anyway. I'm hanging in and helping whoever I can along the way. I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. So proud to be part of all you courageous people. When we're done we will be able to do anything..... God bless

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by TramadolSteve, Aug 27, 2011
I'm just going to keep taking it, it's too difficult.

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by Lindalistless, Aug 27, 2011
Steve - just want you to know, stopping is a real option. When the tram turns on you and it will. We're here for you. Until then I understand you just wanting to stop the pain. Please don't wait too long....

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by linkster, Aug 27, 2011
Good morning Linkster here I would say I hope I find everyone well but if you are here im sure thats not the case. Tramadol steve please please read this before you put another pill in your mouth. I am sitting here crying while I type this and I know that it is the drug leaving my system. Here is something to read before you do anything look back to the part 34 journal and find my name linkster and read my post. I just sat here and read them and feel really horrible about myself but it gave me some hope. I was here back in June of 2010 and said in my last post that i dont ever remember life being this good. makes me cry even harder and if you knew me you would know that is not normal. I fell away from this thread after that and life was good better that ever for about 6 months and I asure all my past post were the absolute truth but for some reason this year sometime early after Christmas I for some crazy reason put one of those pills in my mouth. Big Big mistake. I went along great for two or three months we were in financial trouble I have four daughters and a wife and all that goes along with this and so I took on another job and worked my but off. The pills tricked me into thinking that it was me feeling so good then the bottom fell out. I always had in the back of my mind earlier the misery that I went through and the pills just made me not think about it. Well to make a long story short if its not too late I find myself sitting here with you guys again on day 2 feeling like @@@@ but I know the next few hours that turn into days will be well worth it. I have all the same symptoms as before and the same resolve as before I cant let this drug ruin my life. Here is the simple truth there is no life while taking tramadol it is all fake and we can all beat this. Steve I have been watching you for the last several post and am counting on you to get through this just hang on and I am not ashamed to beg for just one more person to beat this with me Please Please you wont be sorry

I will post again soon

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by Tramadoc, Aug 28, 2011
You sound like me, Steve.  I was on this forum back in May trying to find good reasons to continue Tramadol.  I started to taper and then something happened and I took a handful and have been doing it ever after.  Has anyone had scary dreams where an image in the dream is the heart of evil?  Had one in Feb - scared me so much and not just that night but a few days afterward.  That motivated me to start tapering but the fear does wear off and I was back.  Had another Fri night and it has taken the weekend to recover.  The funny thing is, taking tramadol to feel better helps little or not at all.  Opiate withdrawal is cured with opiates but this intense fear isn't cured with T.  At points it seemed it made it worse.  So I started tapering again and I'm back.

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by Tramadoc, Aug 28, 2011
I should say that both times I woke up very cold.  After warming under a cover, putting any part of your body in a cold area of the bed the image and fear return.

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by linkster, Aug 29, 2011
Good morning everyone
It is 2 30 am here and I am back on that no sleep pattern. Steve I hope you are doing well at this time good to see you are still in the fight. Sometimes what seems to be a horrible thing in our lives turn in to the greatest blessings I assure you that you will see everything in a different light after about 25 days tram free. Sorry but with me it took about that long. An update on me is that in about 4 hours I will be tram free for 7 days. I feel like a cheat because during those days I took some lortab and I am hoping that this didnt just cover the symptoms but really I never had any trouble getting off of those. LOL those are supposed to be the bad ones. This is my second and last time going through this torture and it is torture. One of the things keeping me going is the fact that I came out on the other side before about a year and a half ago. Life does get better.

As far as the dreams I never actually had any nightmares but I am one that will try to never feed my mind any of the scary movie stuff because im a big scardy cat lol of that kind of stuff. I believe very strongly in the spiritual world and I know that demons can haunt us in the night but you also have to just keep in mind that this drug does things to our brain that we cant even imagine. With me just dreaming any at all is a new joy. I can say that when I am on the trams that I dont dream at all so the last few nights what little I have shut my eyes and I tell you that its only been maybe 2 or 3 hours at the most It has been a restless dream filled situation and the dreams are of the crazy alice in wonderland type where nothing is even close to reality

But and this is a big one I know that everything will settle down in about ten to fifteen days and I will be somewhat normal again Keep up the fight I always have to know that someone is in this with me



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by MrKenny, Aug 29, 2011
It's difficult to read the trials and tribulations most of us are going through, or have gone through.
Ten days now 'cold turkey'  thank GOD I now feel a form of normalcy in my life & body.
I slept most of the night without the spasms and pains....it feels like I have arrived most of the way to the 'other side.
I am no longer drenched in sweat. But i still have weird dreams.
I am going for a run this morning; running & activity seems to help retrain my nerve receptors to what is normal.

    One thing that helps me mentally & emotionally, is; I don't identify with tramadol, or addictions or withdrawal.  

MY thoughts and attitude are this:... "I know, I am not my withdrawal" "I know, I am not my addiction" .....These drugs, withdrawals, are totally foreign and abnormal to me; they are not ME......  This abnormality will pass."  "I don't give it a place or a home in my life."...." Any pain or weirdness is temporary and will pass over time".  
   Then I just keep busy just being ME, as best I can do at the moment.  
Green lights, Blessings, courage and strength to all at this moment, and the next moment! And the moment after that...

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by rabbithole, Aug 29, 2011
Hey! Just checking in as I am going very strong in my recovery. Little by little. My sleep is pretty much back to normal at this point. I do notice that my energy levels are still not 100% but otherwise I feel *great*!! I must say that around day 15 and 30 were both huge turning points for me. Stay strong everyone, and spread the word about this horrible drug. It should be taken off the market IMHO. Sorry I haven't posted much, life is crazy busy right now and it feels so good to be participating in it again.

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by rabbithole, Aug 29, 2011
Btw I am day 49 free of tram! I forgot to mention that I have gained a little weight, about 5 lbs, nothing crazy but I am back to exercising regularly so I am not worried about the weight staying on.

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by Tramadoc, Aug 29, 2011
I can't believe it.  Woke up Sat morning with this depression after an evil dream and it won't go whether I take T or not.  Anybody else had this?  I keep thinking that it will pass or this dose of T should be enough.  Third day and I feel toxic taking the same amount of T.  If it continues I guess I will stop taking it - I don' think I could feel much worse.  This stuff just stopped working all of a sudden - I've never experience this with any other opiate.  Perhaps God is giving me the only option and that is to quit.

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by linkster, Aug 30, 2011
Wow this is bad im on day 7 with no trams and on day 2 without anything i took lortab for the first 6days thinking it would help and im not so sure it did I left work early because I just couldnt function IHave been through this before and by day 7 I was feeling better than this so I guess I should just consider this day 2 because I am in some serious pain right now and the worst part is that I know i could make it go away by just taking one of those little devil pills

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by MrKenny, Aug 30, 2011
Linkster; taking one of those pills is just not an option if you want to be free.
Just hang in there; keep physically busy, enjoy the sickness, knowing this is what everyone has to go though. You are not alone;.... if others have done it, so can you.☺

I am at day 11 or 12; normalcy has returned for the most part, I woke up early with the muscle cramps and pain; but it is mild now and it goes away....I was sick as a dog a week ago.
It's all perfect and is as it should be.♥

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by Tramadoc, Aug 30, 2011
Finally came around yesterday afternoon and ready to taper to a total of 16/day.  I haven't taken that little in a year.  Only took 4 at 8 am and still feel reasonably OK.  Told myself I would take 4 more at noon but am putting it off as long as I can.  Plan to go to 12 tomorrow and 8 on Thursday, 6 on Friday.  Then CT over the weekend, since it has 3 days.  Back to work Tues - Does anyone not think it will be possible for me to go back on Tuesday or am I just dreaming?

MrKenny, you inspire me.  Day 11 or 12 - I am so looking forward to that.  Your message to Linkster motivated me to stay on my schedule today.  I'm going to try to enjoy the sickness - be defiant: bring it on!  Is that all you got?  Boy I sure can be a big man while I'm still tapering.  I'm sure I will be blubbering like everyone else on day 3.  Either way, I appreciate your input MrKenny.

I feel for you, Linkster.  Using opiates to get off Tram works but then you've got to fight the 2nd battle of getting off them.  I think I feel that way about using benzos to taper.  Just one more thing to have to detox from.  I love the vitamins but I want it all at one time.  Hang in there, Linkster, it gets better - I can't tell you how many times I've detoxed off lortabs.



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by Tramadoc, Aug 30, 2011
Came around yesterday late

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by linkster, Aug 30, 2011
Hey thanks guys I was starting to wonder if anyone ever looked at this It was a long time between post. Lol I guess in tramadol time that is. I am home now feeling a little bit better. I took some b12 sublinguals and Im not really sure if thay help or not. This is my second time doing this or at least getting this far along and I know it gets better.

I have been taking trams a long long time and the last time I quit was a year ago in May. I looked back at some of my old post and felt really bad and good at the same time just wondering why I would have ever put another pill in my mouth but i am hoping that It better equipped me for this time. I am going to be looking for the warning signs after im about 3 4 or 5 months out this thing never will leave. I know I just have to be smarter and more stubborn than It is .

I will probably be checking back in a little later in the night because the sleepless night are coming in force now with all the described symptoms in this entire forum.

I am just looking foreward to that one day soon that I can get that small and at first it is small dose of brain power back and know that I will see the other side..

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by Tramadoc, Aug 30, 2011
Hey Linkster!  Same for me but I was May 5,6,7 2011.  Re-read those posts and laughed at how hard I was trying to talk myself in staying on the tram.  I would have gotten off after a few days of being on T but I noticed the weight loss and was hooked.  I guess it did make me feel a little better but I definitely didn't have an appetite.  Over a few months [Jul -Jan] I got to my ideal body weight of 190 [from 225].  

However in Feb I had the panic attack / evil dream I've described before.  But, I figured it was an isolated occurrence and was do to the seroquel I was taking with the tr.  Stopped the seroquel and continued to believe that until last weekend when it happened again. However this time, the trams wouldn't work.  Stayed in that fear, anxiety and depression despite eating those babies like they were skittles.  That was the end for me.

As to your "long long time", I'm not sure that time is as important as dosage.  And, of all that I've read on these blogs, it will definitely all go away.  I promise that.  I've been an opiate addict for 25+ years - the last eleven free from the addiction until I had surgery last summer.  All the terrible damage from those 15 years went away over several months and I had no sequela.  Good thing opiates don't have a target organ.  I know you can't have possibly stayed on Tramadol that long because it came out in the mid-90's.  So, it will take a while but you'll get there.

I'll be on tonight as I don't think I'll be able to sleep as much as I've reduced the T, today.  If you can stay off them, I can stay off them - we'll support each other.  The day when you get all of your brain power back will arrive.  I guarantee it.

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by linkster, Aug 30, 2011
Hey I hope to find everyone doing well or better at least. Its 10 30 here and I had a feeling it would be like this. Man they must have been able to see this reaction in the poor rats that they fed this poison too after a few days. I can imagine the little guys going days and days without sleeping running around there cages in pure agony.

Im not sure what it is but there is something in this little pill that makes the brain completely forget how to put you to sleep. Ive tried melotonin, baths, niquil, just about everything but at bed time when I lay down the jumping starts. I can remember this from the first time I came off this junk and after a while I just dont even try to sleep lol its just not worth the effort. I can also remember having more energy so I cant wait until that comes.

Thanks tramadoc and mrkinny for the encouraging words. I am sure you know how much they mean because you are in the same boat. I didnt take anything this evening just suffered in silence. My whole family thinks that I have the flue and I am not sure I dont. I am running a slite fever and I dont remember that from the first time off. So here I sit in pure hell and this has to be as close to that as it gets. Just pure hell and tormet that you cant escape no matter what unless you put the devil in your mouth.

I am rambling again sorry but it seems to help to type all this out. I want to put enough down here so a few months out I can come back and read and remember and never get in this situation again

talk to you all sooner that later lol Im going to sit here and enjoy my misery for a while..;...

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by Tramadoc, Aug 31, 2011
Got up this morning hurting after going to bed thinking I may take none tomorrow and get an early start.  That intense pain convinced me real fast that I needed and so took 3 - my plan is to take 9 more over the rest of the day and go to 8 on Thursday,.  Then on Friday, try to quit CT.  If it seems to much I'll go to 4 for the day and start Saturday.  

Having taken anywhere from 25 to 55 of those things a day for 13 months, I'm actually feeling some better.  I mean I do have the pain but not the brain fog, anxiety and depression - lack of energy is still there.  I'm definitely more alert and my GI system is beginning to purge which is good and not so good.  I truly felt that the constipation was a good thing as I only needed to go once every week and I had no gas.  I was glad to eliminate that social embarrassment.

The positive effects that have come from the reduction are luring me into a false sense of feeling "it won't be bad to go CT since I've cut back so much and that isn't that hard."  But the evidence from this blog is enough to keep me from believing that crock of horse**** - the little liars.  I've become convinced the taper will take me so far and then, when it's time to jump off of the tramo-train, Legion will be standing there ready to rock on my soul.

Then the little tramabeezelbubs start telling me: Hey!  You don't have to quit!  Just stay at 10 a day or even 5 a day!  Remember your weight, chubby.  You had all those clothes altered after we single-highhandedly got 35 lbs off of your fat ***.  You go back to jumbo-land and that'll cost you some coin!   All new clothes? C'mon, Man!  You can't afford that!  How about all those people who thought it was so cool you got your weight down and have kept it down - they will laugh at you when you become elephantine again because you're a loser!!."

Yes, not feeling good but not horrible.  I believe be the difference from regular opioid withdrawal is that this drug releases serotonin, and inhibits the reuptake of norepinephrine; that is, it has antidepressant effects.  So, it's like having to get off morphine and prozac!  Ever tried to quit an antidepressant?  I have - prozac.  Could not do it.  So, I'm giving my self a 50-50 shot of success here.

But, that said, I feel like I may have a better chance here with Steve, Linkster and MrKenney, Rabbithole and all the rest.  I hope you are all hanging in there because if you don't, I know I won't.



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by linkster, Aug 31, 2011
Good morning everyone on this journey
I am sitting here at the computer and have been for the last few hours reading and absorbing everyones post hoping for a healing. Ive been finding that going back and following previous post of different people all the way thourgh there journey really helps.

I guess the ones that really help the most are the ones that are so new and recently in the moment. Thanks Linda, Rabbit, Steve, Mr Kinny, Doc you guys are my lifeline at the moment and I really want to remember that during my getting better days and not leave any one hanging. As I was saying I went back this morning and read through Linda and Rabbits story this morning and It took me about an hour and all the time knowing that this unfolded over the past 46 days makes it seem a little more sureal if i spelled that correctly. I wish I could tell where this would end. All for the better I am sure.

I took the day off work today with the FLU lol and know that I cant do that anymore because of money. I am wondering after reading all the post if most of my money problems didnt just come from a sucky economy and double dip recession and was just from some stupid decisions I made that I dont even remember at the moment. I have managed to keep a great job through out this past 7 years ( man that sounds bad 7 yrs) although I still make the same wages that I made 10 yrs ago.

I woke this morning after a few and I mean a very few hrs sleep feeling ok although all the streingth I could muster was to make some coffee and sit at the computer and wait for some replies but this site just seems like a great salve on a very painful wound. I have had two crying spells and those seem to help the most.

I also have felt at least two very short moments of life is going to get better. Even though these moments only lasted for a few minutes they are what is pulling me through to the next moment and I know they will someday take over the bad times and far outnumber them I would like to hear from Rabbit and Linda and see if you guys expierenced any of those normal moments at first that just sent you into a five or ten minute crying spell and all the feelings of how in the @@@@ did I let my life go like this and get into this shape. I guess guilt and shame is a regular part of the process.

I am rambling now and think I will get up and eat some chicken soup and treat my symptoms just like the Flue that Im supposed to have lol hoping very soon I will find my laugh too I cant wait. Time is an amazing tool that we all have access too even though we dont think it. Lord help us all though the next few moments of TIME to endure
Love and healing to you all......Linkster

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by Tramadoc, Aug 31, 2011
Steve, I've been doing squats with my weights which helps the leg pain and restlessness torturing me.  Seeing how it has helped you, guess I'll start some benches and curls.

I've gone back to early 2009 and am reading the posts in sequence.  On Feb 16, 2009, there were around 40 posts and probably 10 different people who made entries every hour or so.  There is just not as many people on here now with Tram WD support but I really think one or two of us can do just as good of job. I'll post often [nothing else to do - too sick] if all of you will.

Linkster's post really hit home for me.  It's the self accusation I am having that is so horrible.  I had a great job that 11 years ago I lost because of my addiction.  If I had continued in that job, I would be fine financially like my friends and family - set for retirement, traveling - you know the golden years.  However, I would have still been the money-grubbing, angry and hateful, arrogant a**hole.  God helped me do what I couldn't.  By losing it, I was open to have self-respect, contentment, living in the moment, humility, and happiness in helping people.  I didn't have a craving for the money anymore.

This I found to be worth the price I had to pay.  You know, where Jesus talks about a pearl of great value buried in a field?  That a man will sell all he has and buy that field to have that pearl.  He's talking about getting away from material possessions and instead seeking the kingdom of God.  Even though it was my fault I lost all that stuff, I still liked to think that I lost it to have this ability to help others and feel peace.  It was all reconciled in my mind. I was happy and most of the time I felt good about what had happened.  

I've lost that this past year on Tramadol.  I repeatedly feel like the tragedy just happened and I am the biggest loser around.  When the tram gets low and I start having the feelings of inadequacy and, yes, Linkster, guilt and shame, it makes the pain of withdrawal twice as great.  Maybe thousands of times as great.  I can think about what happened a decade ago and how it affected my children at the time [all grown now] and start crying non-stop except for the times I blubber 'im sorry' to just myself, all alone.  Really, I would rather have just physical pain.

But, like so much in my life, I am alone to blame.  I purposely ignored instructions with Tr so as to lose weight.  As my father said [dead, lo, these many years], "You are your own worst enemy".  Or, as my wife likes to describe me - self-destructive.  Guess it's time to cry again.

I ate something an hour ago and feel a little better.  Took some Vit B Complex that they said back on Valentine's Day 2009 would help or maybe in confessing I've found some tranquility.   So, hang in there, guys.  We'll make it.

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by linkster, Aug 31, 2011
Hey doc I am doing the same as u just sitting here reading all day. This will be my last post for a few hrs probably until everyone here goes to sleep and I do not LOL because like a lot of others ive read about on here this is all a big secret to them. I suffer alone but I feel better about that for some crazy reason. I got myself here alone and by God (and I dont mean that in a derogetory mannor) and myself I will get myself out...

Since you so kindly referred to the word in your last post I guess I could share this. I am a preacher and I am always reminded of the little joke I tell every now and then There was a young girl that married a preacher and everything went fine for a few days and then the young husband preacher came home drunk she was shocked and went to her father and said can preachers get drunk I didnt know preachers could get drunk and he simply said If they drink enough they can.

I have thought of that more than on one ocasion and realize we are all no matter what in human bodies and all our bodies react the same toward pain and afliction and want help. This is something that I have prayed over more that I can count over the past 7 yrs and wonder why I cant touch God on this matter and I am now realizing all things have a higher purpose. I am not at all hard on addicts from the pulpit because I know there pain. I just hope that through this I will have the streingth to prevail and know that Jesus does listen and teach me some valuable lessons through this.

I have 4 lovely daughters and a great wife that I just dont trust enough to let them in on my secret. Maybe someday I will. I am just  embarrased by the time lost to this drug. We have a great family band bluegrass im from southern KY and are well excepted in the area but I cant count the times that I have been in the FOG and turned down the opportunity to practice or perform with them because of this evil drug. I dont want them to ever know I just want them to see the new me.

And with all that said there will be a new me and a new us lets just keep up the fight and keep telling each other this too will pass with every second that goes by( and by the way I break my day down in seconds now  lol  and after 20000 or so seconds this will be even easier keep up the fight dont take those nasty pills it just prolongs the agony

Doc try to look into the word for some information on fasting Jesus did have some great insight on the way we react to what goes into our bodies lol weather it be in the form of wine food trams or whatever. ( just a thought to leave you with

To everyone you dont know what you mean to me at the moment I love you at the moment and that is an understatment
Take care until next time hopefully not long.....

Linkster

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by Tramadoc, Aug 31, 2011
I love you, too, L-ster.  You being right here is such a blessing to me.  You are my new best friend.

I know honesty is the best policy but in this instance - a minister strung out on opiates - I wouldn't bring it up unless you had a very good reason.  I look at it in the light of "need to know".

I was a cosmetic surgeon and now run a small pharmaceutical company.  When I was in your position [as a practicing professional], I addressed my addiction at meetings and with other addicts but I didn't raise it as an opening introduction with peers and patients.  When I relapsed after 3-4 years of sobriety, I definitely brought it up with no one.  

After I lost all that and was in the paper and on TV flaming out, it did not matter anymore.  So I would tell everyone of my history until this all started.  Now I'm back to the secrecy.  My wife knows and, for the first time in our 30 years of marriage, she's supportive of me on this detox.  But, I don't tell most others because of my shame and guilt.

And, no harm done if I'm successful at completing the detox and enter good recovery.  My worry isn't that I can't get off of this, it's that I won't want to stay off of it.  When I swore off true opiates and got treatment, I was done.  But with this guy, keeping my weight at its present level makes me think that I might go back to him if I put on 40#.  And, that's different from wanting to get high.  Perhaps more insidiuous and evil.  I'm not sure.

Since I lost all of my stuff last decade, I've been much closer to God - I have become much more sensitive of what He wants of me.  And I know that means reaching out and helping others wherever I can and to never hurt anyone.  Well, on the Tram, I'm agoraphobic.  Perhaps not to the level of a psychosis but I avoid going anywhere or seeing anyone if I'm able.  And THAT is not what God wants of me.  So I must do this and cross the obese bridge when I get there.

My boss is very religious - sometimes, a bit too so.  But no one can argue he is serious in his faith.  He practices what he preaches pretty much and I admire him a lot.  He and his wife fast often - something I want to do.  But, not eating food but eating pills doesn't make much sense.  So, with my body clean of this stuff, I am going to start.  He's an expert so I don't think I'll need much help as to information.  But, as you know, my spirit may be willing but my flesh is so terribly weak.

I may have another week if this taper is more difficult to carry out than I think.  But you, L, are going CT, right?  So, you may not have much longer.  Lean on me and I'll lean on you.  You will be my brother in spirit and in truth.

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by MrKenny, Aug 31, 2011
I explained to my wife and daughter and son; "I found out this painkiller has a horrible withdrawal that may last weeks, and has lingering effects for many people and this is what to expect; blah blah blah.......Please be patient with me."
Fortunately the awful flu like symptoms were only 4-5 days; insomnia 7 days, now it is just mild insomnia & mild muscle cramps. Like I said before; I am most of the way out of the woods to the other side.... Normalcy.
I hope the same 'quick' recovery for all of you beautiful people who are still in the worst of it...

What worked For me;... I figured if I am going to hurt; I may as well do some easy workouts & walking & activity as to make my body feel like I am hurting for a reason.  I just can't sit all day and ache all over, I have to be distracted with mild activity.   Sleep when I can. I Took a non-addictive OTC painkiller; I used Aleve.  Drink, Drink, Drink, (not alcohol).
Eat healthy.
  Do what ever mind games and mental framing you have to do to see a clean, pure, crystal clear future.

     Being addicted or owned by anything, is just not an option for me. For myself, I always try to live in pure Truth, Love and Life; as I believe These are some of the characteristics of the Creator & Great Intelligence of the Universe.
I believe  When I am connected to This Great Creator,  and as His Spirit is flowing though me, I take on His characteristics of Love, Peace Joy, Truth, Creativeness, Life, kindness, etc.....

NOW  FOR ME- Having an Addiction to anything, or an over-attachment to stuff, or my Ego,  dulls & short circuits this beautiful connection to the Spirit of God of the Universe, and lessens my fruitfulness of those characteristics.
This is My personal view and my path I am sharing with you ......
I am sure you All have your own path ....just be true to yourselves.  Tramadol is a Liar and a thief.
Blessings, Courage, Green Lights and Love to All!..♥

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by Lindalistless, Sep 01, 2011
Hi everyone. Glad to hear your still being strong and fighting the good fight. Remember your not alone! This is day 42 for me. The last few days it has hit me I'm actually here, feeling so much of myself come back. I am so thankful. Linkster- I so vividly remember  having those what you call "normal moments" where I could do nothing but cry as I realized how dulled I had been and how much of life I had missed.  They absoluty helped me get through those times when I  was counting time in seconds. I promise all of you, it gets so much better. I know at times its almost hard to believe. This drug is like no other, doesn't seem to want to let go of its grip. But God created us with a self healing nervous system. Though it may take a little time, everyone is different. Hope plays such an intrigal part in this recovery, so please never ever lose hope. Another thing that is really important is support. You need someone in your life you can trust to support you.  I wish you all renewed strength everyday. Remember this withdrawel is not linear. There will be setbacks . But knowing what to expect ahead of time really helps. You can do this! It is doable!! Don't let your mind or the tram deceive you. I'm praying for you...

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by linkster, Sep 01, 2011
Good morning everyone.
Today marks a big day for me I am at least telling myself that . I missed work today and have a dr appointment. I am going in to give some blood and set myself up for a complete physical. The reason its a big day you ask is because its the last day in my life that this drug will cost me. I woke up feeling completely anxious about going to the dr but I have the resolve at the moment any way to go in there and not ask for anything for pain.

Most of my previous dr appts have all revolved around pain. I am having a day today in my brain that I just want to be well. NOT DRUGGED> Thanks Linda for the reply yesterday was a rollercoaster for me, as soon as the lovely wife came home I went into the emotional hell hole and almost didnt come out.

Doc and MRkinny thanks for the time you spend on here trying to support., I never in a million years thought I would come In a place like this for myself or anyone else for that matter My eyes have been opened up to so much in the past year or so from fighting this.

Im not sure but I may see some sun shining this morning and I mean the kind that shines from deep within. Not the kind coming through my window. Because looking at it through the tram for the last while I dont know if ive seen the sun in a long time.

I will be back from dr around noon and I will check in and let you know how It goes....
take care........

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by Tramadoc, Sep 01, 2011
Good morning all,

Took my 3 QID yesterday and laid down to sleep thinking the not sleeping wouldn't start for a couple of days.  Well, it got here early.  My legs began aching and I couldn't get comfortable.  I realized it had started.  I knew I had to come to work today so I took 12 to sleep.  An hour later, I took 12 more.  Finally, somnolence.  I felt guilty but resolved that was the end.  No further taper.  The start of a cold turkey which will have me on the run.

After taking almost 2 grams of this stuff yesterday, it may be more difficult than I think and I'll be the first to admit it.  But, I've seen the reports of people on here that just quit and got it done.  Still, I'm scared. I guess if it gets dangerous,, I'll take a couple, but that's it.  I want to be strong and defiant in the face of this demon that I've invited into my body.

Got today's work close to being done so I need to start on some continuing education and then back to this blog.  Thanks for all the support Lindalistless and MrKenny in giving me hope that 2 weeks from now I will be much improved.  And my man, Linkster, I admire you going to the doctor.  I guess it's because I am one, but I have no faith in doctors or physicals.  I just don't think there is anything that can be done to make this easier.  I could call any number of friends and get benzos or plain opiates but I'll just have to come off those.  

I also admire you, L, for your courage to try to break your own opiate pain cycle.  I know you have real pain and so to have opiates not an option is the worst.  Because I took this stuff for weight loss, I don't really have a lot of pain.  But I will during this detox - that's certain.  I'm now 10 hours into the ct and know that I'm crawling in fear onto that roller coaster from hades.



Thank you everyone for your prayers.  


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by MrKenny, Sep 01, 2011
Thanks Linda; ...Ditto & Amen to everything you wrote.

Linkster; I'm glad you are going to the Doc....I was afraid to...it will be educational for the rest of us; please share.

Tramadoc; Every day you are getting closer and closer to being clean;... and I don't trust my Doctors anymore either.  The whole medical community seems to only have one methodology....Drugs.   (Of course, I'm painting with a very broad brush)

I swear; we as people, need to take our heath into our own hands, and use the medical community for emergencies only.

Blessing and Health to All! .....Hang in there Baby!

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by Lindalistless, Sep 01, 2011
You forgot one of the most important things God gave us, free will. When I CHOSE to serve Him He took away my guilt. Placing myself under His authority meant not surrendering control to this world. The tramadol, which I  CHOSE to take, imprisoned me so slowly it made me think there was no way out. As powerful as God is He will not control our will. Tram has made me weaker than I have ever been in my life. I CHOOSE to take that weakness out of trams hands and place it in the hands of a God who has allowed me to CHOOSE Him over and over again. He has always given me the strength, clarity of mind and power to CHOOSE. I can't explain to you how overwelmed I am right now, with that clarity returning. My God  may not be yours, but I promise you this euphoria I feel now, tops anything a drug could ever give me. I CHOOSE Him.... And I CHOOSE to pray strength, healing, deliverance and love back into all of you.....

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by linkster, Sep 01, 2011
I cant go another step in here without addressing and submitting my sincere apologies for bringing religion into this room. Im not sure if I did or not but here goes. Steve I can tell by reading your post that you are very confused and completely off course about everything you typed or at least to everything that I have been taught about Christian living and the creation nothing you typed even comes close to a real understanding of my faith. My apologies are not because of my faith but because that is not what this room is for.

I do know this if you want off this drug you are going to have to find the creator of the human spirit and search him out. I am personally in favor of MY savior and that is Jesus I would so love to have you hear and discuss or even argue my theology but that is not the case.....

Steve please believe me we are all in the same boat and I want nothing more than to see each and every one of us with the will given by God or human spirit or I dont even care if it is from a long lost memory Whatever it takes but just find the will to get off this drug.

Thanks to all for there support I went to the Dr and MRkinny you are absolutely correct in your saying. I have a terible case of the strep throat and do you know what he gave me..... A bottle full of hydrocodine cough medicine ...........

I feel good and bad about this I didnt even ask for it I remember a time when I could have walked in there not able to breath and coughing up a lung and they wouldnt give it to me and now lol its handed out like candy..... I did not take any of this though and remember also a time when I would have turned up the bottle in front of the pharmacy before I got out of the store LOL maybe not that bad but close.....

I am having a better day still havent slept three days but I am reaching a point where I am just awake and not hurting so much I can stand being awake If it is not in complete torture if some of you know what I mean .....This room is a life saver and I am sure that religion has been brought up on more that one occasion lol because in the depth of tram withdrall every one seeks a God at one point or another...... Seek Him and the power to get this drug out of your system and I promise you in no more that 10 albeit long long long days you will see the Light at the end......

Today is day 10 for me without trams and day 4 without opates and Im having a good moment ..................

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by Tramadoc, Sep 01, 2011
Hey, Steve!  Loved your diatribe!  It's very easy for me to agree you gotta a point.  I was raised Christian but really I didn't meet God until I went through a disaster and had nothing else.  I think He meets us in our need and I needed him bad then because I had no power; nothing at all.

When I was still doing well, I thought of God more like a consultant.  And, I thought a lot of the information in the bible was wrong - like to not steal?  Maybe that was my first inclination that I was God and everything I thought, said and did was right simply because I thought, said and did them.  Totally selfish - called arrogant which I took as a complement because. yes mofo I'm arrogant because I'm better than you, you loser.

Did the church gig to look good and give my kids a chance to have religion and to appease my wife.  Many times I left that place with rage - couldn't really tell you what made me that way but I would be so angry I knew something was screwing me royally.  Didn't know what, but it might the holy people I was sitting in that institution with.  Hypocrites!

The pain from the fury I held kept bringing me back to pain pills.  I would ask Jesus to heal me, but all that happened was I showed up at church stoned.  Once, I fell out of a pew snoring, got up, and went home leaving my wife and 3 children to fend for themselves.

Well, after the catastrophe, I found a little humility.  Not much, but it's hard to be proud when all the media outlets are calling you the worst person that has ever lived.  I also got back into 12-step recovery and got well.  Still, I couldn't understand why 12 Step uses just God and not God, Jesus and Holy Spirit, blessed trinity.  What about the muslims, buddhists, shintos, confuciousists, et al?  Trying to pin down Christians about this and basically, they said all those people were going to hell.  It was driving me crazy so I finally gave up and said I don't know.



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by Tramadoc, Sep 01, 2011
Then 9/11 happened and the Muslims became cross-eyed stepchildren in the Western World.  I'd hear about the 72 virgins and Allah and Muhammad but couldn't get what they were doing.  Does their religion say you can murder innocent people a la the Christian Crusades?  I learned not to compare the two in certain company but to me they looked the same.  Still confused, I got a Koran.
A little history - after Jesus died, the next dozen years was made up of “Christians” in different little sects.  Did you know that no evidence of the gospels written in the Aramaic of Jesus’ time has ever been found?  Earliest gospels are all in Greek – not many Greeks around for the first 10-20 years.  However, those sects each took a theory of Jesus.  Some said he was God.  Others said he was a man.  The biggest sect said he was God and man.  That was the sect in Rome where Paul wrote his epistles that almost single-handedly made Jesus God.  Enter the Council of Nicaea in the early 300s after Constantine becomes Christian and the Roman Empire decides to feed their lions a different diet.  All these sects competed with their writings to get into the first “Bible” – a new book t to put with the Torah.  The whole thing was very political and guess who won?  Yep, the Paul people as they had the most influence, power and money.  So the Catholic Church is started.  What about the others who said Jesus was a man?  Heretics – good fuel for a weenie roast.
Three hundred plus years later, Muhammad gets the Koranic revelation that addressed all the confused bull**** just alluded to, and said Jesus was a man just like Adam, Moses, Noah, Lot, Abraham, David and the other stars [not Paul].  It says these men were all prophets and God is God – totally unique, omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent.  [Now the 12 Step experience I had seemed a little clearer.]  The Koran says without equivocation that Jesus was a man and people have got to quit calling him God or they’re toast!  God says “The Trinity” is a myth made up by men with a different agenda.  
After I read it a few times, I noticed there were things in there that no one knew in the 8th Century.  Like planets had orbits and quite a bit about obstetrics that wasn’t known until 1 or 2 hundred years ago.  Those made me think that Muhammad couldn’t be doing this.
Now try to bring all that up in church!  Things get real quiet.  If you’re lucky that’s all that happens.  Some of the best people I know, Christians doing the best they can and doing pretty well at it too, have told me that the Koran is from the devil.  When I ask if they’ve read it, they say they don’t want to read it.  Talk about contempt prior to investigation!
You ought to read it, Steve.  It made me realize Who God Is and what we’re supposed to be doing.  A lot about hell in there and it doesn’t sound like a place anyone would want to go.  
One of the most apropos part for me might be applicable to you: God says that every human that he ever created has the fundamental idea of God as an essence of that man’s being.  What I tried to do was repress it with my great knowledge, shrewd logic and indispensable arrogance.   You ever feel that way?  
However, when we quit fighting the idea of God, I believe He reveals Himself to us.  It’s very simple.  Forget all the other stuff you’ve heard and mentioned – Jesus blood and flesh consumption, Jesus crucifixion saving us from our sins, the time line of creation, etc – It is all unimportant and I think most of it is wrong.  
But, hey!  That’s just me.
Love ya, man!  Keep fighting!  I admire your anger and dubiousness.  But remember, it’s not rocket surgery.


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by Tramadoc, Sep 01, 2011
It's 5 pm here and time to go home.  I received another delivery of 180 pills this afternoon.  Thinking maybe I'll eat these over the next couple of weeks and then start my detox.  Not having too many symptoms at this point but can feel them approaching.  I'm losing my resolve.  Must have been all the religious pandering I did today.

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by Lindalistless, Sep 01, 2011
Tramadoc, please forgive me for getting off the subject. What we are here for is to support one another regardless of our beliefs. I am still commited to that end. That said, you will know when you are fed up enough to tackle this. We are behind you now and when that happens. Please, dont give up. Day 43, you won't believe what it feels like to be here......

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by Okra, Sep 01, 2011
Hi I've been on tramadol for 2 1/2 yrs, I was given it for chronic head pain an I has suffered with 3 brain bleeds on the brain. This drug has never worked for me, didn't work for the pain, but the docs kept me on it along with a load of other meeds. However after seeing a top speacilist they advised I needed to come off tramadaol as it was making my pain an other injuries worse. I only ever took my prescribed amount. Not one doc told me it was addictive until I saw the specialist! I am now on my 2nd week of tapering and all I can say is thank god I'm coming off these meds. It's he'll, the lack of sleep, sweating hot and cold, cramps, upset tummy. Should it b this bad during a taper? An will it get worse once the taper comes 2 am end ?! Please help! Thank u x

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by Tramadoc, Sep 01, 2011
Wow, Steve, wow.  I feel like a jerk trying to educate you about religion - you, my friend, are way out in front of me.  I will investigate the Zionist Ashkenazi Jews, the Rothchilds, the Sun God myth, and anything else you have to suggest.  Although I'm a pariah here in the bible belt, I do like to learn and I do try to keep an open mind.

As far as the tram problem, I know I can't do it if God doesn't help me.  I'm going to have to get back to my taper.  I just don't have the time right now like I thought I would to continue CT.

I don't think, from what you describe, Okra, that anything else is going on besides withdrawal.  From all I've read on this 2 + year Emily Post blog, sounds like your taper is right on track.  Hang in there!

Thanks, Linda, for your support and encouragement.  I'm just a freaking coward and only have the courage right now to stick my toe in the water.  I'm not even close to where Okra is.  The threat of insomnia is a fear I developed taking call starting back in 1978 and continuing for 20+ years.  So, I continue to postpone the swan dive into toxicity.  

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by Okra, Sep 01, 2011
Tramadoc, thank you for the reply, I'm sure when your ready you can do it. I have suffered with insomnia since my brain injury, so that's about 3 years, I didn't want to male it worse, but you know I thought my sleep may actually get back to normal once all these meds are out of my system.u need to find u, don't worry about god u can sort that lata, get of the tramcet out of your system. Put yourself first , nobody else will.

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by linkster, Sep 01, 2011
Hey hope this finds each and everyone doing well im in my no sleep while everyone else in the house is asleep mode but all of the symptoms are not nearly as bad as they were even 24 hrs ago like i said before its not the being up part that bothers me its the pain and restless part

Welcome orca sorry to see you here but u are in a good placeI assure u its been a Godsent to me for the last few days I want to say steve Doc Linda and mr kinney have given me just the right words when I needed them lets just hold on a little longer


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by Lindalistless, Sep 02, 2011
Okra- welcome and congrats on making it this far. Your doing great! Unfortunately like doc says your symtoms are typical and yes miserable. My taper was bad too. Which is why I decided to go cold turkey. I remember agonizing over that decision, because I was scared to death. When you finally do you will be so glad you did. No matter how bad you feel, you know your being strong and courageous. But most of all, your on your way out. Drink lots of water, take as many hot baths as you need ( for the leg pain), heating pad, visualize in your mind what you will be like when all this is over. Steer your mind immediately away from negative thoughts, they are counter productive and tram caused. Then read, read, read all the way back to 2009 on this forum, lots of good help. Remember you have 2 weeks of taper already behind you. Insomnia is usually one of the last symtoms to go.  But without the pain, its tolerable. The lifting of that horrible tram fog will be the most amazing part after being in it for so long. YOU WILL BE YOURSELF AGAIN.....

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by linkster, Sep 02, 2011
Good morning all just checking in hope everyone is trudging along. I am back at work today feeling a little shakey but making it so far. Okra sorry about the misspell earlier its wild to look back at ur post and see what u wrote on two hrs sleep in 72 hrs i was awake all night so at two thirty this morning i just came to work and sat in my truck until it was time to start i think it helped get my mind off the way i was feeling take care wveryone i will post more when i can use comp instead of phone

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by MrKenny, Sep 02, 2011
Okra-- Ditto Everything Linda wrote; I can only repeat what she said.  And Yes, the withdrawals will continue when you go cold turkey; and imho you should go cold turkey soon as possible just to get it done, and be done and over with this nasty filthy 'drug'.
For me, 4 days of sick, sick, sick, the same as you are going through right now or worse. Then things got much better.
15 days Tram free for me!  I do wake up, but go back to sleep and have just a little occasional muscle cramps/pain at night and vivid dreams.....  But thanks to our Creator and our healing DNA I have my life back!♥  


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by Lindalistless, Sep 02, 2011
Steve, Felt that same way from tapering both tram and benzos 8 months before ct. After that long I had it. Hence my decision. Ct was not really better, but after the firt week you do go through taperlike symtoms on and off, knowing it will all be over soon. Now 44 days for me. Today some of the old symptoms are back, nerve hyperexcitabily, cement legs, lethargy and even my mood is alittle low. Need to work on concentrating on the positive. The difference is these symptoms are less than just last week when I had them, and will probably last a shorter period of time. Definately not fun, but heading in the right direction...... Let me just add here, never in my life had I ever had a problem with depression or anxiety. So these moods are not before drug symptoms. Hope that helps....

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by Okra, Sep 02, 2011
Hey, thanks to all for your kind words and support. I have 2 stick with tapering as the docs think that straight ct will be 2 much for me. Don't think they realise what hell tapering is. I will stick with it even though it's agony, I'm 2 annoyed with the docs prescribing it to let it get the better of me. Steve it is like fighting a demon, it's awful, what keeps me going is that I want my life to improve an i no that won't happen while I'm still takeing this crap. All my family and friends no so that makes it easier that I've got there backing. Finding this forum has been so helpful. When I'm awake at 4 I'n the morning I read over other peoples fights and that motivates me to keep going.hope you all staying strong and at least one of us might actually sleep tonight.

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by Tramadoc, Sep 02, 2011
Hello Gang,

So glad to hear you're hanging in there, Okra.  I know you can do it and I'm pulling for you.

So glad to hear Linda and MrKenny continue to prosper - you guys keep me going.

I'm where you are Steve, easily defeated.  You probably have the advantage since you only have 40 left.  Then you'll have to do it.  I got about 400 so I'm not going anywhere for awhile.  There is no way I can talk myself into dumping these puppies or giving them to someone else.  No way.  I paid way too much for them.

But, I got a new idea - might work for you, too, Steve.

My taper, such as it has been, has got me to a point now that I don't need any during the day.  This is the third day in the row I've not taken any during the day [definition:  day = from when I wake up to about 7 - 10 pm].  Sure, I have the pain and all that but it's very bearable with exercise, stretching etc.  Then, in the evening I've been taking 20-30 to sleep all night.  Took 12 at 7 pm last night and then 8 more at 9 pm and slept fine.  My new plan is to start reduction from last night's 20 by one daily until I have trouble sleeping or, have, in Steve's words, "cold sweats and weird heavy sensations".  Then back up a couple and try it again.  Because the lack of sleep is what scares me the most. I think I can make this work.

Of course, if you go back a few days, you'll see my previous plans all got shot out of the water.  But I remain undeterred.  The one drawback to this one is having to put up with the daytime heaviness, sweating or pain and not just pop a few pills because it's easy to get rid of it.  I think this can work.  You'll know it's failed when I check in and tell you I popped a few at 2 pm because of _______________ [put in whatever lame excuse you can think of here].  

I'm stoked.



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by Okra, Sep 02, 2011
Hey all hope u all hanging I'n there.tramadoc I think the taper sounds good least it's gtg the amount u are taking down.I'll get through the day an once u reach a point where it really gtg to,stay at that amount for a couple of days so ur body can get used to it an carrying on tapering. Think uve got a gd plan, as long as u stick with it ull get there. If I can, you can. Keep exercising and keep yourself distracted. I'm catching up on all my sky plus and DVD boxsets that I never get time to watch.

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by ullr, Sep 03, 2011
It is now almost six months since I quit. :-)

And I went really cold turkey!
How bad it is, of course, depending on how much and how long you have taken Tramadol.
I had to move away from family. Had to take tranquilizers to cope. It helped me.
Have stopped taking it now.

I'm still not "normal", but I do not know what normal is, after 11 years of different pain relievers.
Still have some withdrawal symptoms left, but only cold shivering.
Cant forget that zapping feeling, the dizziness. So glad its over. Think it lastet for a couples of months or soo.

Beginning to get some more energy. Manage to think about the future.
Has began to train in a gym. It helps.

But it is the mental which is the hardest piece of tramadol.

And stomach problems ... ;-)

Thinking still (in weak moments) that the easiest just had been to go back to Tramadol. But I will not do it.

Good luck to all.

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by MysticalDreamcatcher, Sep 03, 2011
My name is Cath and I'm new and greatful for this be a part of this forum. This is day 3 for me that I cut down 1/4 of my dose. I broke down this evening 11:30 PM and went right back to taking two pills. I take 4 Tramadols 4 X a day and have been on them for 8 years for my chronic back pain but I feel the Lyrica is now taking care of my back pain and I want off these Tramadols once and for all. I let my last doctor go because he was playing to many games with my dose each month and I was always on a roller coaster ride up and down with withdrawals and then going back to not having them because he would up my dose again. A real jerk of a doctor that was (power happy with having this control over me). I started seeing a pain management that sent me right away for some back injections that worked for about 4 days and then I found myself worse off then when I walked through his doors. I had seen him 4 times within 2 months and he pulled my 750 Vicodins away from me totally that I was taking in between my Tramadols. I was taking 1- 750 Vicodin 3 times a day and one at night if needed. I was on those for about 7 1/2 years. This is what happened to be about a month ago... He told me that because I was on the Tramadol? I would not have any withdrawals. I did as he said and flushed around 162 Vicodins down my toilet so I would not be tempted and was so happy to know I was not going to feel any horrible effects because I still would be taking the Tramadols. After a horrible night of feeling like my skin was crawling and having to shake my hands constantly and kick my legs every 20 seconds for some kind of relief? Zero sleep and I mean ZERO. I was on the phone balling my eyes out telling the receptionist what was going on and that I thought I was lousing my mind and to please have the doctor call me and put me back on the Vicodins and let me taper down. She put me on hold and came back stating the doctor totally refused to do so. That was one of the longest days of my life. I was cold and hot, my hands were shaking to the point I could hardly hold a glass of water without wearing it and worst of all I really felt like I was going crazy. I felt embarrassed that my husband had to see me this way. Don't get me wrong. He is extremely supportive and is a wonderful loving person but I just feel this is something he should never se me go though. That evening I had a horrible kidney stone attack. I have been getting them for about 3 weeks now and I always go in for a shot of Diloted and they give me a shot of Valium and the pain subsides and then they send me home after a MRI to see the stones location. The very next day I got a phone call from my pain management doctors office stating they would no longer treat me because I had seen another doctor for pain medication. My jaw just about hit the floor!!! What was I suppose to do? If anyone has ever experienced what a kidney stone feels like as it is trying to pass? You would rather give child birth to a 10 pound baby verses passing that stone. This is my second stone experience. The first one was removed about 6 months ago through a stent that was placed inside of me. This last stone I have is twice the size of the first one I had and it tends to go back up high in to my right kidney and come down long enough to give me horrible pain every now and again. Blasting the stone that high up in the kidney is not even something my doctor will even consider. It's much to dangerous and much to risky I was told. He said it will eventually creep down to stay and then we have to make a decision then how to handle it. Sorry about getting off the subject there but just wanted to help you understand this is not something I choose to have. I'm pretty much stuck with it until it makes it final move. In the mean time I get to put up with it teasing me every now and again. I completely felt totally screwed over by my pain management doctor. Now I had NO doctor at all to help me. My husband was furious as to how that all played out and frustrated as to how to help me in any way. He said to call his doctor and see if I could get in to see him that day. I did just that. 2 hours later I was talking face to face about my situation and my medical back ground. I had my MRI, Cat scans and X Rays faxed over ahead of time so he would know what he was dealing with. He told me first off you CAN NOT just stop taking 750 Vicodins after being on them for 7 1/2 years cold turkey. He said he was going to call in a script for me and I asked him would it be OK to up my dose of Tramadol in place of the Vicodins. He said I could try it and if that did not work to call him back and let him know. It's been about a month now that I have been off all Vicodins now. I could feel the withdrawals but not to the point it effected my daily life. I did have to keep telling myself it would pass. NOW... I am tapering off the Tramadol. It's day 3 for me and it is PURE HELL. It's worse, I feel then the 24 hours I was without my 750 mg Vicodins and still taking the normal dose of my Tramadols. The reason I want off all of this is because I now take 100 mgs of Lyrica in the morning and the same before I go to bed for my back pain and it really tends to help with my back pain mostly at night when it's the worst. Am I doing this right by cutting  1/4 of my dose out 4 times a day of my Tramadol? It's amazing how well my body knows it's missing that small amount. Could someone instruct me as to how to tapper right, how much to tapper and how long should I go in between tappering before I cut down even more? This has got to be one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced in my entire life from head to toe. Any and all help would be so appreciated by me. I'm completely lost right now. I only hope I can return the advise to help someone else down the line as you all do. Thanks. Cath


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by Lindalistless, Sep 03, 2011
MDC- Slow down on your taper if you need to, or taper less of a dose. You know your own body. Try to let the symtoms go away, let you body even out before you taper again. It won't be easy. There is no way around the pain, but though. Just remember, the closer you get to the end of your taper, the harder it will be. So you must taper less of a dose toward the end of your taper or you can ct somewhere near the end. It's all up to you. It is doable. And after 71/2 yrs not being a slave to this drug will be amazing. We're with you. Please read all the great stories back to 2009. They will be a great help. Wishing you strength and courage.......

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by Okra, Sep 03, 2011
Hey all, thought I'd share sum good news. I actually slept for about 10 hrs, first rime I'n 10 days! If I could sleep like that every night it be so much easier,makes me feel almost human. Suppose it means I'll have no sleep tonight though. For me sleep deprivation is the worst part of this, it'sadr my insomnia worse, even my strong sleeping tablets don't work. My brain just won't switch off.anyway hope u managed to get sum sleep an today finds u a bit brighter.

Linda everything you say is so right, you really inspire me to keep goin

Is anyone else having the munchies? Can't stop eating crap!!

Take care all

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by linkster, Sep 03, 2011
Good morning everyone Great news on the sleep Okra its wonderful. So far I havent been that blessed but I did sleep some last night and when I woke this morning early I felt a small dose of normalcy. This is day 12 for me and when I woke there was not the level of anxiety with it as in the past few days . I walked out and was overwhelmed by the emotions because there is a hint of fall in the air here and I smelled the tobacco barns fireing heard a turkey gobble in the distance just a good feeling of well being. The reason that I was overwhelmed is the fact of the past few years I have just missed out. It takes about 12 days out or at least it did for me for some of the fog to lift and the sad part is after being in it so long you dont even realize how bad it is..

MCD you have found a great place maybe the only place like it in the world as far  as I am concerned to get you through the tough times. I know 12 days seem like a lifetime at 230 in the morning when the whole world is asleep and you are in agony and I dont use that lightly but for me those were the times that I read through all of these journals and reminded myself of the victory stories in here and it really helped me.

I am sure because of the last time I went through this that I am not out of the woods but I can get small glimmers of light even if they only last a few minutes that are bright enough to get me to the next glimmer of light. Its strange but I promise no matter how bad you feel during withdrall if you could only get 5 to 6 days between you and the tram there is something that kicks in and you know you will never go back I think  Linda and all the rest will agree

Great news ullr 6 months thats a milestone to say the least keep us posted

Tramdoc keep hanging in there no matter what every second that goes by without putting this in your body is a second of healing. I remember just a few days ago when I was dividing up my day in seconds lol.

Steve I am thinking about you man keep keeping on and remember when you do bite the bullet and I even litterally thought about that from the old westerns you know when they would opperate without medicine and give them a bullet to bite down on. There will be people in this room to give you any moral support we can. It does get better every day keep us posted

MrKinny thanks for your support you know you helped me one day to decide not to take a pill and dont take that lightly
it got me though for ever gratefull

Hey i will check in later on have a blessed day Linkster

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by Tramadoc, Sep 03, 2011
Yeah, Steve, I take a lot.  I'm a strung out opiate addict and have been for a quarter of a century.  I used to take 50-60 a day.  Yesterday I was down to 16 at night.  I have to fill the days with something or I start getting the leg pain and the T starts calling.  It's not really the pain I use these for [denial], it's the weight loss.  With this screwing around with the dosage, I've put on 5 #.  My fight is the idea of putting on 25# in the future while taking a few at night.  I'm not sure I won't start again to keep from having to wear size 60 underwear.

But all of you guys have got me pumped again for today.  Thank you!

Way to go Okra!  It seems that once people start sleeping, the worst is over.  I am so happy for you!

And, Linkster, you sound like you're at the end!  Please don't forget us little people when you're a star on the big tramadol screen of life.

Ullr, I am so glad to see you check in.  In reading the blogs from the past year, I know you had a rough go but your 6 months gives me real encouragement to continue.

MDC - I'm sorry you had to go through such hell with the current medical care establishment here in the USA.  I would like to suggest, on the doctor's side, that giving patients controlled substances is stressful for the doc; they're always looking over their shoulder for the cops [med bd].  It takes a lot of documentation to be able to continue handing out opiates.  So, most will look for a way to get rid of patients who are in immense, chronic pain - the pain management specialty has been the great dumping ground as the authorities give them a wider berth.  But, even those guys, if they're not sure what is causing the pain, will look for a chance to bolt - even something like a 2nd script for a different illness.  I apologize for all of it because I was worse than what you've described.

I truly appreciate you still hanging around, Linda.  Your suggestions are so valuable and have helped me a lot since I've been on here.  Especially with your emphasis on tapering.  I take from that, that it would be better for me to stay at 16 for a while before going down.  I like the mercy in that advice.

Maintain.



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by Lindalistless, Sep 03, 2011
Though we are all at different stages of our healing, as long as we are going down in our dosage, our body is healing itself. I know it sure doesn't feel like it. Tramadoc I realize the amount your tapering from can be exhausting, to say the least and will wear on you over time. Think of your symptoms as your nervous system healing itself, learning how to function on its own. Don't fight them, it really helps.

             No matter what is happening now, no matter how far away recovery may seem to be, no matter what symptoms you may be having, never ever stop believing that you are healing, that you will somehow make it through this to your full recovery. No matter what, keep trusting that your resilient, self-healing nervous system will someday be fully functional, balanced and calm again. There is some purpose, some blessing, some growth, some awakening gift- wrapped in your experience, even if not yet evident. So persevere, dig deep down for the courage and strength to cope, be hopeful and then exhale.... With the knowing that this to shall pass.

Day 45-  woke up this morning feeling better than yesterday. A milestone, only two bad days this time. Awesome...

Be well~

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by Okra, Sep 03, 2011
Hey all, hope u all sticking with it, it's really hard, i hope I sleep tonight. My heads banging and I'm goin hot and cold. Dreading ct if it's worse than this?! I've just eaten a huge bag of sweets an feel really gross. I got to start exercising can't handle putting on weight. I no how u look doesn't matter but I don't have any confidence as it is if I put on weight I'm done.

Hope I can get as far as you Linda, you must be so proud of yourself.

Tramadoc and Steve I hope you stick with it.

Night I'n with the tv again,lol

Keep well

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by Tramadoc, Sep 04, 2011
Loved the You-Tube, Steve.  Very enlightening - I saw more in the same vein but I'll have to get back to those later.  It made me wonder if God's revelation to man occurs in the same way each time.  Of course, Muhammad would have broken the mold - but, in any event, great food for thought.  Even sent the link to my Fundamentalist Christian younger brother.  I can hear the word "heathen" emanating from his pie hole even now.

Linda, your testimony made my day.  Your statement:

No matter what is happening now, no matter how far away recovery may seem to be, no matter what symptoms you may be having, never ever stop believing that you are healing, that you will somehow make it through this to your full recovery. No matter what, keep trusting that your resilient, self-healing nervous system will someday be fully functional, balanced and calm again. There is some purpose, some blessing, some growth, some awakening gift- wrapped in your experience, even if not yet evident. So persevere, dig deep down for the courage and strength to cope, be hopeful and then exhale.... With the knowing that this to shall pass.

is poetry!  Thank you so, so much for the love and support evident in that passage.

I feel as you do, Okra.  However, I'm still on more pills than you so hopefully you will be coming out of it pretty soon.  I identify with the weight conundrum that Steve also mentioned.  This problem, to me, will be my biggest obstacle.  I've been on the same antidepressants for 10 years.  Still, I mess with them to try to get off of them - invariable it ends with me suffering to such an extent that I give up.  I think weight is going to be a similar issue with Tram.

But, today I am still tapering and that's all I know.

Maintain

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by Okra, Sep 04, 2011
Tramadoc ur comments always come at the right time, was debating with my family about whether to hav a wk off tapering just stay at the same level as it's gtg 2 hard, but think I'll go for it an halve another dose. 5 wks left to ct. Seems 4 Eva. I didn't no that I could use transfer to lose weight, think I'm gonna on a health food binge, have things to snack on.gonna start exercising, drag myself if I hav 2, I'm not gonna put weight on. If anything the exercise mite do be gd through the tapering . Just have no energy 2 do anything, got a baby shower party sat, don't really want to go but it's 4 my bf. I tend not to go out ova the last 3 yrs, since my accident, usually need sumone with me to help me. Was never like that  b 4 my accident and I hope tramadol may have contributed to that. May be quite life changing for me to hav the confidence to go somewhere on my own !!! Hope u all sticking with it, no it's hard but guys all the battles I've fought ova the last 3 yrs just make me feel strong enough to do this. I want my life bk. If I can't get off this then I can't start new treatment . Ive been through worse than this an figure I got through so much that there's no way I'm letting it beat me. Tramadoc and Steve wat dosage are u currently on?

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by linkster, Sep 05, 2011
Good morning Everyone.
This is the start of day 12 for me with no trams..... Its been a wild ride to say the least. Yesterday was buisy all day and by the end of it I seemed to be in full on withdrall but I managed to get a good shower and sleep for 3 hrs and when I woke it was like i was a different person. Man its crazy here on the end of the ride how you can go from feeling like your dieing to feeling good in the blnk of an eye. When it first starts you of course feel bad all the time but then you start getting glimpses i like to call them of normalcy and after 12 days I seem to be normal a lot and not I get glimpses of the way I felt on day 3 and 4
Tramadol Steve I cant advise you on buying more but I will say if you dont have your mind made up like steel you will probably buy more and this is in no way a put down I just know what I would have done even 20 days ago that is just where I was.. But I do know this you have been hanging around here alot and you will one day quit 12 a day is a lot to ct from.
I was on them for a long time 10 yrs but I never took a bunch at a time so my time in hell may be a little different from yours ( and when I say hell im referring to the day 3 thru 5 lol. ) because its not so far removed I can still get the shakes thinking about it. JUST STAY HERE AND STAY STRONG.

Okra I usually dont advise on any taper method because that didnt work for me at all. I never had the will power. I do know this from my expierence and from all that I have read about no matter how long you taper or if you go through ct you will not get through without 3 to 6 very bad days seems that is just the way it is with this evil drug so I think the thing to work on here is your will power and mind set until you are ready .

Linda thanks so much for your support its been invaluable and much appreciated.
Man there is not much going on here at all Ive been reading back and there are times that there would be 3 to 6 or even more talking at the same time hope that is a good sign maybe it just the holidays.

every one enjoy the day tram free or not lol God is good all the time
Linkster

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by Tramadoc, Sep 05, 2011
Thanks, Steve.  I'll check those out.  

No change in the taper but I do see where it may not work for me as mentioned by linkster.  If I want to get off, I may be forced to go CT.  Trouble is, I'm not sure I want to get off because of the weight gain.  However, I'm sure I would be convinced if this s*** turns on me again.



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by TramadolSteve, Sep 06, 2011
24 hours CT, zaps have started, hot and cold, twitchy. no worse than a medium sized hangover at this stage. Easy...

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by EmilyPost, Sep 06, 2011
Let's stop the religious talk and refocus.

Thanks

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by linkster, Sep 06, 2011
Good morning way to go steve hope this finds u staying strong im on my phone so this will just be a check in update.  I woke up on day 15 feeling bad with the heavy legs and most all symptoms come to think of it. I am eating better however and found a new concience of what i put in my body I will make it through this day is what I keep telling myself. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and this too shall pass everyone hang in there foe the long haul looking for better moments that turn into better days
Linkster

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by roseyroe, Sep 06, 2011
Hi :)

Im new here, hope its ok to jump in ? Im from london in the UK and am currently struggling with the evil Tramadol.

Background info is, Im 35 a mum of 5 and a Midwife.  have Ehlers Danlos Syndrome (basically lots of symptoms but mainly chronic pain) I started my love affair with the Trams after being prescribed it for my joint pain, took 8  x 50mg a day and was amazed that my lifelong pain finally eased in response, I was blissfully unaware of the withdrawals attached to the drug and the effect it had on serontonin etc. My pharmacology training is VERY limited! Anyway, was trotting along just fine on my 8 a day but 5 days ago found out Im pregnant with child number 6 :( So I got scared and cut my dose in half.

Oh my god Ive been to hell and back and am still taking them!  I did 3 days at 4 pills got all the symptoms, terrible agonising stomach cramps, back pain, sheer exhaustion, sweats c rawling skin, was basically writhing around with this feeling of pressure ? (cant think of any other way to describe it) in every part of me. Yesterday i had to go to the Hospital as my doctor wanted me checked due to the pregnancy etc. They gave me co dydramol instead so i had no Tramadol. I got to 3am last night and I thought I was actually going to kill myself, was going mad, couldnt lie down, so I took two trams an was asleep soundly soon after. Have taken 2 so far today and am coping, planning to have 2 before bed tonight.

I know that no one is actually reading this far as Im writing a bit of a book here, but Ill keep going ;)


Im terrified for my unborn child, my partner thinks I should have a termination and get off the pills an then try again for another baby if I need to :(

I dont know what to do, it feels wrong to terminate my child because of tramadol ?

Feel so lost and ill here :(




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by EmilyPost, Sep 06, 2011
Hi RoseyRoe;

You poor beeb!

Tramadol doesn't cross into the womb.  Does anyone who is treating you over in London know enough to help you taper?  I would think tapering would be more to be desired than a cold turkey in your case.  

I wouldn't terminate cause of Tramadol ... there's no evidence that women preggers and on tramadol effects the baby at all.  But the shock of quiting cold turkey after taking 8 a day ... that would possibly be alot of harm to you and you already have seen how severe the withdrawal can be.

We all read here ... write as much as you want ..  You are not writing to no one. :)

Love,
Em

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by Lindalistless, Sep 06, 2011
Rosey- I'm so sorry for what you are having to go through. But like Emily says you are definately not alone. Please know that a lot of the overwelming despair you feel is a symptom of tram withdrawel. Do you have someone in you life to support you? You will need that now. You absolutely can do this!! Not easy, but definately doable. No doubt you have a lot more challenges than some of us . You also have so much to gain. We will be here to listen and help w

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by Tramadoc, Sep 06, 2011
Welcome roseyroe!  You're at the right place.  I know that taking tram while pregnant is unwise, to wit:

Tramadol caused a reduction in neonatal body weight and survival at an oral dose of 80 mg/kg (approximately 2-fold MDHD) when rats were treated during late gestation throughout lactation period.

There are no adequate and well-controlled studies in pregnant women.  Tramadol should be used during pregnancy only if the potential benefit justifies the potential risk to the fetus. Neonatal seizures, neonatal withdrawal syndrome, fetal death and still birth have been reported during post-marketing reports with tramadol HCl immediate-release products.

Labor and Delivery

Tramadol should not be used in pregnant women prior to or during labor unless the potential benefits outweigh the risks. Safe use in pregnancy has not been established. Chronic use during pregnancy may lead to physical dependence and post-partum withdrawal symptoms in the newborn. Tramadol has been shown to cross the placenta. The mean ratio of serum tramadol in the umbilical veins compared to maternal veins was 0.83 for 40 women treated with tramadol HCl during labor.

The effect of Tramadol, if any, on the later growth, development, and functional maturation of the child is unknown.

Nursing Mothers

Tramadol is not recommended for obstetrical preoperative medication or for post-delivery analgesia in nursing mothers because its safety in infants and newborns has not been studied. Following a single IV 100-mg dose of tramadol, the cumulative excretion in breast milk within sixteen hours postdose was 100 µg of tramadol (0.1% of the maternal dose) and 27 µg of M1.

I like the idea that Tramadol should be used during pregnancy only if the potential benefit justifies the potential risk to the fetus.  That is, the stress of withdrawal is not good for the fetus either.  Plus, they have no studies in the pregnant mom.

The worst part is that it crosses the placenta so you have an addicted newborn - I'm very sure of that.

As for me, still tapering but losing focus but not because of religion.  I'm still scared of getting heavy and, of course, the withdrawal symptomatology.  Is anyone else thinking the same?

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by Okra, Sep 06, 2011
Hi Rosey I'm from the Uk 2, Please speak to the doc about how tramadol affects ur pregnancy, and from experience I would prob get a second opinion. I was told that it may have affected my baby, only to find out that they completely misled me and it would have been fine. Anyway I'm tapering as the docs ( apparently they seem to know wats best for me,lol) didn't want me to have severe withdrawal. It seems as if ur husband is supportive and to me that's half the battle as having someone there ( as well as this forum!) really does help! Hope u manage to taper.

Hope everyone all ok out there and sticking with it! I'm I'n 3rd week of my taper. Still feels as if I'm walking through mud but I'm positive enough to keep goin.

Take care all

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by linkster, Sep 07, 2011
Good morning just checking in hope everyone is trudging along great support here. All i can say about day 15 is Im glad its over man it seemed like I went back to day 3 but here i am at work on day 16 and I do feel some better. I will check back in later
Linjster

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by ullr, Sep 07, 2011
When I now think of my weeks with cold turkey, I almost remember them as some kind of a trip.
I think I have forgotten the worst parts... (well, of course I remember the cramps, restlessnes, diarea, headaces, dizzyness, zapping,  but all that are turning vague).

What I remember most is that my feelings and emotions was peaking: reading, listening to music, it all felt really importent.

And when you are laying in bed or on the sofa, taking a walk or a bath, banging your head in the wall, or putting an imaginary gun to your head, or wathever - you most know that it will be bettter! You are sick, and will be healed. It is "only tramadol" that is leaving your system....

Why am I writing this? ... Ehh yes: I am now more than half a year in to my healing... and i feel better. I really do. But I feel far from healed. I still have problems sleeping (had to take sleeping pill again last night), still I have lack of energy, coughing all the time (have stopped smoking), stomack problems, bla bla bla. Sometimes i am longing back to the cold turkey days, at that time I at least knew that I was sick because tramadol was leaving my body.:-/
Now I am just generally...don't know...tierd.

No affence to anyone, but I am glad Emily came in here and asked for focus. We shure all have our gods or lifeguides in a way or another. And in the healing of this drug, religion may be importent to someone.
But lets not frighten someone away from this forum...

One thing: If you are addicted to both tramadol and hydrocodone or morphine etc. Tramadol will not help the withdrawals from opiaths, but opiaths will help against tramadol withdrawals. So it will be best to quit tramadol first.

Pardon my english, by the way...Det ække så lett ; )




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by ullr, Sep 07, 2011
Didnt see your post Steve. 48 hours!  Thats good! You are on the track.
Praying for you! (Just kidding, not kidding, ehh) :P

Good luck to you all!

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by TramadolSteve, Sep 07, 2011
hanks
ohb **** sanf typr\
yhis id hell ]10 zanx still novsllep



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by linkster, Sep 07, 2011
Wow day 16 drug through the fog all day no energy at all. After I got home took a epbson soak and now i feel some better. I really hope tomorrow brings a better day. Hang in there Steve u are getting there man just a few more hours turn into days.
Linkstee

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by Tramadoc, Sep 07, 2011
Congratulations, Steve, you're way ahead of me.  Still struggling with taper.  Took 32 today - bad day.  Got the information from the package insert.

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by Okra, Sep 07, 2011
Steve u doin it, keep goin. Linkstee 16 drug free days that's amazing. I had a pep talk from neuro docs today, really supportive, feeling tired so gonna attempt to sleep, hopefully.

Take care all everyone

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by MyFreedom, Sep 07, 2011
Good evening everyone ~

Just wanted to check in and say hello to all the newcomers. I haven't posted for a little while, but I still do pop in and read all the posts about once or twice a week.

linkster - I want to respectfully disagree with something you said on 9/5 about tapering. I tapered under my doctor's supervision over a 5 month period of time and when I finally stopped tram I had very minimal symptoms compared to a CT experience. I have experienced both ways and the taper, for me, was the best and only way to go. So it is most certainly possible to taper and have minimal effects once the tram is stopped. With that said, my taper was very long and slow and it was extremely structured and I had the will power to follow it through to the end....which is key to the whole thing. I also had my doctor and my husband and son to hold me accountable through the whole process.

ullr - Great to see that you are doing so well!! 6 months is absolutely awesome! You will continue to feel better and better with more time. I am 1 year and 5+ months free (532 days).....I promise it really gets better and better!

nora - How are you doing? Your husband is working now, right?

rain - I think about you often....especially since we are near one another. How is your tooth? Have you been able to get that taken care of?

Randy, Beth, madtram, kaz (and husband), sheliz.... I think about all of you often. I hope that all of you are doing well!

Lots of love ~
:)

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by MrKenny, Sep 07, 2011
Hey Everyone!
20 days tram Free!
I feel normal & getting healthy; I've been back running 2-3 miles a day, at almost 55 years on Planet Earth I feel great!
I think the exercise has helped my nerve connections re-learn quicker; and because of true physical fatigue from activity I sleep better. The only holdover from the withdrawal, is quantity of sleep; 6-7 hours is about it for now; sometimes fitful, sometimes quite solid ZZZs. No more aches, no more sweats, no more hot & cold, no more thrashing & jerking.
LIFE IS GOOD!

To every soul, Take heart, 20 days will come and go and we will all be closer to a normal Tram free life, just do what you need to do; the time will pass anyway. We decide what our future will be.
Peace, Blessings & Love to all! ♥


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by Lindalistless, Sep 08, 2011
Wow Steve, pretty vivid description and accurate. I might add that there are other symptoms my brain couldn't hold onto long enough to describe. No judging here. I would never have been able to make it without someone physically here to support me. How amazing to think that someone who has been through serious withdrawels before is struggling with this. Still hangin with you. You will do this.....

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by TramadolSteve, Sep 08, 2011
Yes the conclusion I have come to is that I cannot do this alone, I need someone physicaly to help me through the 3rd day. literally lose all physical strength at that point and the ability to think clearly.

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by TramadolSteve, Sep 08, 2011
Thank you so much Linda, when the **** hits the fan your always there the absolute life line of this forum. The only one who acknowledges everybody everytime. I think we should change the name to Lindalistless Tramadol Recovery Room!

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by TramadolSteve, Sep 08, 2011
Sorry still havent finished....I believe truly that everything is a lesson, a lesson that takes us closer to Universal Compassion... The point is to learn how to love everything and everbody without bias.....Usualy once you have seen particuliar lesson, like patience for example, the lesson slowly changes.... I think I have seen mine, and that is that:
"I need other people."

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by Lindalistless, Sep 08, 2011
I think the lesson I have learned in all this is that no matter who you are, no matter where you are, no matter how much you think you have learned, you are not exemp from any and all things life has to throw at you. So help somebody along the way and in return you will be healed. Thank you Steve for acknowledging my presence and thank you Emily for providing this lifeline where we can all come to be healed. I am forever grateful....

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by linkster, Sep 08, 2011
Good day everyone
Myfreedom no problem with the disagreement lol I am definately no expert and everything I say only comes from what I have expierenced. Its great to see people coming back in and letting us know how life is on the other side way out away from the t.
MRKinny you are an inspiration thanks for coming back and letting me know what is up. I finally today on day 17 feel like I can exercise a little. I am hoping it helps with my sleep also. We are not far from each other on the days off and I am glad you keep me informed.
Linda Steve is correct in saying you are a great help and comfort in this room thanks.
Steve you are going to beat this I know you will. I can tell by the way you talk that you want it bad and that is what it takes. There is no way any one that has expierenced a few days off this stuff can be judgmental in the least. Its just different for different people. Hang in there and keep on keeping on.

I had a great day 17 so far and I will say it again its crazy how this makes you feel like you are dieing one minute and its like a light comes on and you will feel normal for a few hours and then as quick as you can turn a light off you feel right back in the dumps like day 3 or 4 again. I will keep everyone posted to my recovery. Im hoping for a better nights sleep tonight going to take MRkinneys advise and work out for a while and see if It will help with the sleep.\

For all the new people and those that havent chimmed in yet this is a great place of support and comfort during your darkest moments.  
Thanks for the encouragement okra you can beat this just keep trying sometimes you just have to take a deep breath in and let it out slow take each second at a time. It does get better
I will check back in later Linkster.......

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by MrKenny, Sep 08, 2011
Steve, I am very concerned for you. From what I am reading, this stuff is driving you crazy. It just seems too much, for too long.  I think you need to get serious help to get you on a disciplined taper.
Maybe someone here can help you do this, or direct you to what they did.
I would go to a clinic, a Doctor or someone professional that can help; and tell them exactly the same things you have been communicating here. Don't water it down; tell them you are desperate and need help. (If this is what I am reading)
I never had zaps or depression and some of your other alarming symptoms.

Can someone else chime in about what Steve can do at this point?
I do think you need people physically and emotionally helping you now.
Please do something different, this shouldn't go on like this.


Linkster, sounds like everything is normal...crappy, but slowly better.  I had a throwback to WD last night; insomnia, aches, jumps, sweats, etc..... but not too bad, the pain episodes don't last but an hour or so.
Once again the withdrawal is not linear.     21 free days now! 'Normal' Most of the time.



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by MrKenny, Sep 08, 2011
Oh, I didn't forget...Bless you Linda. You are an encouragement to everyone right now.  You have been there for all of us; what an Angel.  

Thank you Emily Post for creating this Tramaboard.

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by EmilyPost, Sep 09, 2011
I can't decide if this last message from Steve needs to be deleted or needs to stay. I don't want to upset anyone who is here struggling and trying to recover with this bunch of nonsense. But I also need the people here to see what it takes to get blocked here.  Abuse.

We're just humans trying to stay off tramadol and get off the pills. We're not professionals.  The journal is designed to be helpful to anyone in any stage of recovery and it functions as support. Not direct support as in we're not qualified to detox anyone.  But support as in all in one place you can find hundreds of people talking about what their withdrawal was like.  And that is helpful because it's first hand accounts of tramadol withdrawal.

When I started there was no one. I was talking to myself.  On the internet. Which is unusual. Now there's so much to read when a person is in the first few weeks of Tramadol withdrawal and I think it is helpful and wonderful.

The community is a place of mutual love and understanding, education and empathy.

Thoughts?



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by linkster, Sep 09, 2011
I would let it stay as example Emily this is a great place where there should be no guilt about just trying to help as our limited abilities allow.  This has been a lifeline to me and others  if anyone reads back to only a few day they will see everyone has gotten great advise including the blocked
Linkster

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by MyFreedom, Sep 09, 2011
Steve

We are not allowed to tell you how taper. It's just not permitted on this site since we are not doctors, as Emily has said. Please be patient with those who post here. While there's usually someone around to offer encouragement or a kind word, it's not always a busy place.

That said, I can tell you about my experience and how *I* did my taper with my doctors approval. In doing so, maybe you can come up with your own similar plan. I think I was one of the lucky ones because I had a doctor that was interested in helping me stop. She, like most of the doctors out there, was certain that tram was non-addictive (because her medical journals tell her so). I told her to humor me and go home and google tram withdrawal and read the real life side of this drug. To my surprise, she did and now sort of understands it.

Since I had tried once to go cold turkey and failed...a taper was the only route for me. She allowed me to come up with my own taper plan, however, she did make some suggestions. At the time I began my taper I was taking 3 50mg tabs 3-4 times a day. I would sometimes take 3 and a half in the mornings. She first told me to regulate the doses....meaning, to make all doses equal and to take them at equal intervals to set a rigid schedule. So I started taking 3 tablets every 6 hours. I don't recall the exact times, but I started with a 6 hour schedule. For instance, I would take 3 at 8am, 3 at 2pm, 3 at 8pm, 3 at 2am. I would have to set my phone alarm to wake me to take the 2am dose...I would keep the dose by my bed along with a glass of water so that I could take it and go back to sleep right away. I never missed a dose.

Once that schedule was established, I was on my way. I stayed on that schedule for a few days. Then I began to taper down. I took away 1/2 of a tablet at each dose...So I was then taking 2.5 tablets every 6 hours. After staying at that amount for a while, I then increased the time intervals to every 7 hours (again, using my phone alarm to wake me when necessary). After stabilizing from that, I then decreased by another half of a tab and was then taking 2 tabs every 7 hours. After staying at that amount for a while, I increased the time again to 8 hours.....etc, etc.

You get the idea.....I first established a regular dosage / time schedule. Then would decrease the dose, then increase the time between doses. I did this all the way down to 1/4 of a tab every 12 hours before stopping. Yes, I had mild w/d symptoms throughout the taper, but it was much, much easier than a cold turkey stop. Another thing is that I would stay at a particular dose for however long it took to become comfortable again.

My doctor had me send her emails with my progress throughout the whole process. She would only refill what I needed. My husband also kept me accountable during the whole thing.

With all that said, you have to be *ready* to stop. You have to have the will power and you have to have more power than tram to overcome it. That determination along with Emily's words during her fight were what fueled me. I was ready and I was determined.....and I did it. You can too.

:)

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by EmilyPost, Sep 09, 2011
Frankly your passion and anger should have been directed at the Tramadol and getting you off the substance you say you want to quit.  You seem to have the energy to threaten the people of this forum, but not enough energy to get off the pills.

I'd like everyone who can to please report these posts for abuse.  I can do this but it will be much faster if MedHelp can see this en masse.

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by MyFreedom, Sep 09, 2011
I completely agree, Emily. The anger would be much better geared towards quitting tram.

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by Maratara, Sep 09, 2011
I am on 100 mgs of slow acting tramadol a day (sometimes I did an extra one, so sometimes between 200-150 mgs as well)

I started Tramadol as a way to get off the Nurofen plus, but i ended up just taking both for the last while......

Now I am down to 100 mgs of Tram a day, no Nplus.....day three off the Nplus....and although I do feel ******, I know the tram is helping me not feel MEGA ****** quite yet.

But I want to stop the Tram, not sure how I can taper with just 100 mgs slowacting Trams ......i break them, but its hard to get it perfect.


Btw, I am getting these from a friend of mine, she  has LOADS but denies she has any problem stopping whenever she wants and doesn;t abuse them, maybe she is right, but who knows? I just know I want to stop. My boyfriend just broke up with me, and ironically, this means now I have the time and space to just COld TUrkey off the lot. I am scared though, but I am ready. But I want to give myself until Monday, and that gives me a few days off the Nplus, and hopefully that stays in place as my real love is not Tramadol at all, it is the nurofen plus.



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by Lindalistless, Sep 09, 2011
Maratara- good for you for realizing  your need to get off these before you got to high in your dose. I'm afraid your friend will also have to come to realize that there is no way out but through withdrawel. But all you can do is give her the info, she will have to decide when. Please read as much as you can all the way back on this forum. It is absolutely the best encouragement you can get. Everyone is different. But the first 3 or 4 days are the worst. It seems the longer you are on this drug the harder the taper. No matter what , be determined , be strong and it will be soooooo worth it. Ask ?s when you need to. We' re  with you. You are not alone.....


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by linkster, Sep 10, 2011
Good morning everyone. Its 430 am and I up and at em as they say around here. Today is day 19 as far as my tracker says and its the first day that I woke feeling completely normal. I just wish I could take how I feel and hand it out to all of you guys. I guess I can in a way by just encouraging you to keep your system clean of that pill.

Its been a wild ride to say the least and I am sure because of the first time that I came off these that Im not out of the woods yet but each of these NORMAL days makes it that much easier to keep on the road to freedom. The way I have felt for the last couple of weeks was not a small price to pay to get here. There were days that I just existed putting one foot in front of the other as im sure you are all aware but well worth the effort.

Emily thank you from the bottom of my heart for this forum. ALL NEW PEOPLE READ READ READ everything all the way back for the last few years it will help you through and give you a complete understanding of everything you are feeling right now as you are coming out from under the control of this awful substance.

MRkinny , Linda Steve, uril. and all the rest that have given me a word of encouragement during this THANK YOU.

Today is the first day of the rest of my life I will not go back down a road that I am sure leads to nowhere. The sun is rising bright and beautiful on day 19 and I am going to enjoy it, I am for certain everyone that reaches this day will almost always agree to the same .

Keep keeping on and you are in my prayers and thoughts.
YOUR LIFETIME FRIEND
LINKSTER>>>

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by linkster, Sep 10, 2011
Just wanted to put this up for the first time

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by Tramadoc, Sep 10, 2011
Making progress.  Only took 18 yesterday.  Not feeling too bad but not like writing a lot.  But, I do want to express my gratitude for everyone on this blog.  You continue to encourage me, and not blame me when I increase my dosage.  Thanks!

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by Maratara, Sep 10, 2011
Congrats Linkster, thanks to Linda and good stuff Doc.


I am so far today: No Nplus
                           (day 4 for that, nearly day 5,  I think) I have had some sweaty/chilly episodes, but very mild, nothing too bothersome so this is a blessing......i have been taking Nplus pretty much everyday for the last 3 years, so getting off it is a dream now really.

I am only on 50g of tram so far today since I woke up......I am debating weather to take the next one now as I don't feel too bad at all, but I am wondering about that "half life" effect, so maybe the pain is on the way, lol.

I am still smoking the pot....but its running out and I am not getting more: I don't like smoking anymore, haha.

SO this could be it....I am doing ok so far, thanks to all :)

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by Maratara, Sep 10, 2011
ok, well I made it to 8:20 pm before taking the other 1/2 tram (50g). Tomorrow I will try to take the next 50 even later, and continue to wind down like this........

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by Okra, Sep 10, 2011
Hi everyone, is just like to thank everyone for their kind words and support. Just reading ova past journals have me a lot of help. The forum and everyone who I have been chatting with, u hav all been lovely so thank u.

I'm on the 3rd week of my taper, not sleeping really getting to me as well as being constantly freezing or boiling. Does anyone have any tips for helping with the constant body temperature changes ? Think this has been a hard week for me, I split with my bf, my grandmothers been diagnosed with terminal cancer and to top it off no sleep and have just has to had ro hoat my best friends baby shower. I feel awful saying this but I so didn't want to do it cos I felt so crap i just wanted to curl up I'n bed an be left alone.

I hope u r all doin well and once again thank u to everyone.

Take care x


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by linkster, Sep 11, 2011
Doc hang in there breath through it and just let ur body adjust. For me I think it is the nervous system that is taking the longest to heal. Okra so sorry to hear what u are going through. Just hang in there it really sounds like yoou have ur mind made up and that was the majority of the battle for me. I had to realize that life is life with all its up and downs whether im on the drug or not so i looked at the pros and cons of what the drug was doing to me and had to decide even when life throws me a curve I feel I can handle it better with a clear head. Hang in there and let ur body heal. Maratara I dont know anything about the nplus so cant advise u anything as far as that but I can say that for the last 2 weeks off tram for me was like living through a nightmare but I stuck with it and found light at the end of the tunnel. Its 3 in the morning and im not sleeping but im good with that. The reason for the first time in 8 months my mind is clear im not going hot and cold no jerking and spazzing not feeling like I cant even move just all in all like a normal human being again. I think I will love the me after tramadol. Every one hang in there heal and be well. Linkster

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by linkster, Sep 11, 2011
Just wanted to come back and say this is the start of day 20 for me and im feeling like I cant wait for everyone in the house to get up and get the day started.  They would kill me lol if I woke them ar 330 am but all I know is im feeling better with each passing day looking for a complete sober drug free life....

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by TheUltramateWarrior, Sep 11, 2011
I salute you all !
The reality of Tramadol Withdrawal as I have lived it.
It takes a week of total hell and then it is more bearable after that.
It is alway's the first 4 or 5 day's that are bad.

The week seem's like a year while you are living it,though the worst is only for a week remember that alway's !

Even the strongest warrior's will be felled by this strong enemy warrior for a little while.
I can only say that this place and all of the post's here present and past are probably the best weapon in the world for vanquishing your enemy.
Many will agree I am certain.
Goodluck !

You will win,though it will not be easy !
T.U.W.

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by MrKenny, Sep 11, 2011
Hey Linkster; ..Cool Man!  You made it back to reality. Congratulations!  
I am about 3 days ahead of you;.. 90% 95% normal. I could use just a little more sleep at night and less night sweating.
But Hey! Everything is Good! ....These little annoyances will pass.

Maratara; you seem to be right on track and tapering wisely. You are almost off; I hope the final withdrawal is easier than most. Please keep us posted.
Question: Is Nplus 'pot' , or are you smoking pot also?   Does smoking pot help with the withdrawal? I think people might want to know.

Okra;... split with boyfriend, grandma cancer, and hosting a baby shower? Most people would be really stressed out over any One of those things. I admire you strength; my wife and I will be praying for you.  Honestly i really just don't know what to say. Except there is a much better future for you; day by day. You seem to be doing fine even with all the other crisis's in your life. ....Hot n cold?; I covered up and uncovered, it was just one part of the miserable WD.
But it's all temporary; look at all the people who made it to the other side.  

Peace, Health and a Blessed future to All! ♥

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by ullr, Sep 12, 2011
MrKenny: Dont meen to answer for Maratara, but I think Nplus is som kind of codeine containing pain killer.

About pot, I tried that for relef when I was in acute W/D. It can help someone, I think (Not me, I think...?).
But because depression and suicidal thought is so common during w/d I will not recomend it...

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by Maratara, Sep 12, 2011
Yes, nurofen plus is a mixture of 12.5mg of codeine and 200 mg of ibprofen in every pill. I love the mixture of the two, it "works" for me, and is why I have been taking it almost daily for 3 years. The most I really ever took at once was 12, so I really feel for those who were taking boxes and boxes!

I am now 6 days off the Nplus, yay :)

I took 50g of tramadol at about midnight last night, so that was 13 hours ago. I am trying to go as long as I can today before taking another one, I hope to wind right off the trams by months end, maybe sooner if I can manage it :)

Yes, pot/weed seemed to help me, specially with sleeping and the sweats. But please know I realize it is not easy to get some, I was lucky I was in the netherlands and was able to legally puchase a little bit for my planned withdrawal.

It has been MILES better than my last attempt, that's for sure. But, I am not off the tram yet, so who knows what is coming? Still, I am on a lower dose now already and although I feel weird, I am not yet sick in anyway. I hope I get lucky and can just transition right off of it without too much fanfare.

I know I am lucky, I know it could be me taking 30 a day. My friend , the one who gives me the trams, has told me I can have as much as I want, wheneevr I want, LOL.

I want OFF of it, not more of it ;)

Good Luck to all, keep at it.

M.

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by linkster, Sep 13, 2011
Hey all its so quiet in here hope all is in healing mode. So far so good here I can tell im getting better each day. The sneezing has started up with me every time I go out in the sun lol but its good to get the last bits of the tram out of my system.
Be well everyone i will check back in later.
Linkster

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by MrKenny, Sep 13, 2011
Even though it has been 24 days now; does anyone else become very thirsty?
Does food taste different or have less flavor from time to time?
Yeah Linkster, it sure got quiet here; i hope 'no news is good news'.

I Hope everyone is doing well on their journey.   Peace!

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by tramsux17, Sep 13, 2011
I'm here!- 21 days tomorrow.Still have ups and downs. Not getting thirsty but much of the time food has no flavor. What's up with that??

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by tramsux17, Sep 13, 2011
also I still feel nervous alot. Congrats to everyone gaining distance from this terrible drug!!!

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by Tramadoc, Sep 13, 2011
I don't communicate all that much when I'm suffering so quiet is not always good.  Only took 18 yesterday but wasn't able to stay that low over the weekend.  Leisure time seems to make the craving worse.  I've got to do more physically over the weekend to keep down to this amount.  Anyone else find that a problem?

The reports from tramsux17, MrKenny, linkster, Maratara, Okra, ullr, and TramultimateWarrior give me hope with this withdrawal.  Thanks so much!

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by fieryrockchick, Sep 13, 2011
MrKenny - yes, I have found that I am very thirsty as well.  
I managed to taper down from 8 50 mg a day to 3 50 mg a day over a few weeks, thought i would taper down to 2 50 mg a day, first 2 days felt a bit out of sorts but today I passed out in work :-(
Not good when it was infront of 90 children :-( i work in a school as a teaching assistant.

needless to say  I was sent home to rest and my husband made me take some tramadol to get me feeling better and not surprisingly I feel normal again but I feel angry at myself for not being able to manage the lower dose.
I dont want this to be my life, having to watch the clock all the time to see if I can take my next dose just to feel normal and be able to function.

sorry for rambling, it just helps to know I'm not alone xx

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by Lindalistless, Sep 13, 2011
Hi everyone- MrKenny, yes, I was very thirsty. Just drink, drink, drink its so good for you. Also the thing with your taste buds very common. I needed to be very careful because I would crave a certain food, but because it didn't taste right I would try eating something else. Found I was eating all the time chasing tbat craving. I've learned to always try water first when I have a craving. Sometimes that's all I needed....so happy for all of you that have recently jumped off and those successfully tapering....
Ok now, in the interest of letting you know what might come next... I am now on day 55 YEAH!!!!!! LIFE has become more normal for me with one problem I'm not sure how to deal with. First you need to know I have never in my life had a problem with depression before tram and have been told it is a symptom most people have later after acute symptoms. It has hit me hard and not sure how to deal with it. I am commited to being drug free so I am not taking anything. Trying to at least get out and walk on these days. But I absolutely don't feel like myself on these days.  Do not wish to discourage anyone. But do think its easier to get through knowing its a symptom. I guess I never really understood what true depression was.  Trying desperately to hang onto my faith through this. This to shall pass.....
Love all of you, those that are writing and those only reading. We are in this together. Thank you all so much for being there.
There is also a symptom few people talk about. Not feeling like you have any friends, people around you don't understand, is life ever going to get any better? All I can say is never give up, you are doing the very best you can for your body. Put all negative thoughs out of your mind, never act on them and though you are only having glmpses of yourself let that be enough to carry you forward. From everything I've heard from people who have gone ahead we WILL eventually even out and be totally ourselves again. so don't let the on again off again discourage you. We will make it....all in all I definately have no regrets quitting the tram. Praying for all of you, better days ahead. L

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by MyFreedom, Sep 13, 2011
Hi Linda ~

I'm surprised that your depression waited until day 55-ish to kick in. From what I've seen, it usually makes it's ugly appearance shortly after the acute w/d symptoms are gone.

You will probably have to put up with it for a little while. Others have found that taking the supplement 5HTP seems to help quite a bit. It's not expensive and I think you can get it at walmart. I never took it because I didn't want to take anything....at all...I was stubborn like that. Also, take your B12 and exercise as much as you can. That will help lots.

You've made it this far....you can get through this part too!!

:)

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by Lindalistless, Sep 13, 2011
Thank you so much MyFreedom I guess I'm just as stubborn as you. I will try everything else. I probably started the depression earlier but it was overridden by the physical. Now I'm starting to notice it as maybe the last symptoms to go.

Fieryrockchick- sounds like your really going through it with this taper. You are going to make it all the way . Remember its just a setback. Keep your eyes on the goal. You are stronger than tram. Maybe slow your taper down alittle you have quite a bit on your plate with those kids. Slow and steady  will get you there. Just make sure your always going down on your dose. Even if you have to stick in one place for awhile you will eventually get there. Don't beat yourself up. My taper was 8months long and exhausting. Time will go by anyway. Everyday you will be one day closer to freedom. We ate with you.......

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by Okra, Sep 13, 2011
Hi all, sorry haven't checked I'n had a v tough week end,all my family arrived en mass because my nan is so I'll an it was my grandparents 62nd wedding anniversary. Also my best friends baby shower. Had to do all this while tapering. Enjoyed but was a zombie as am not sleeping an didn't feel really there.
Anyway hope u all ok, Linda sorry 2 hear u are feeling depressed, the last 3 yrs I've constantly been battling depression, the way I deal with it is to be open with all my friends an family an they support me. Also I try to get out even if it's for a quick cuppa with sumone. Staying I'n on my own makes me worse. I'm on anto depressants sp that's one of my nxt battles to get off after tram.hang I'n there it will get better.
Linkster u doin so well, I've got the sneezes 2 an always ache, hoping this stop swn.
Mr kenny always thirsty, have big bottles of water on the go, diet coke an coffee are a must 4 me.
Tramadoc, keep goin, r u on a slow taper?
Im on my 4th week of tapering, sooo exhausted, head kills an my body is I'n agony. I'm also having these twitches that just go through my whole body, is that normal?
I've got 3 wks left til taper ends, will I still have cold turkey?

Thank u 2 everyone 4 such kind words and support, you all really kept me goin over the weekend. New if I took a tram I could hav functioned better but I've promised my nan that she will c me conquer this, if she can do chemo I'm sticking to this.

Love and good wishes to u all x

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by Lindalistless, Sep 13, 2011
Okra- thanks for the advice I know anti- depressants can be a hard thing too. One thing at a time, steady as you go. Sounds like you and your nana will be good support for each other. Great mindset! Hang in there & keep posting.

Steve- if your still out there reading, please never give up. You are to smart for this and I know that without the meds you will get so much more out of life. Let your parents help you, nobody loves youike your parents.  Love & courage to you all...

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by legaljunky, Sep 14, 2011
I'm a new kid on the block,  going thru withdrawal/hell.  I was on 200 mg Tramadol daily for 2 years for Lyme disease related arthritis.  I slowly tapered down to 40 mg a day and felt so awful I decided to just stop altogether, I couldn't feel any worse anyway. I am on day 5 of 0 poison and I still can't accomplish anything important, but getting off this poison will have to be enough of an accomplishment for now. Then I found all of you-  I love you for all the suggestions of what I can do to make this easier, and for the encouragement to not give up.

Tips I've learned from you-  I'm drinking lots of water, taking lots of magnesium, have started sublingual B12, will add bananas today, I drink peppermint tea with cayenne and honey, coffee when my tummy can handle it, I eat soft boiled eggs, oatmeal with cinnamon, custard, and anything that is easy on my stomach. Restless leg syndrome gets me when I try to sleep, so I lay on my stomach and squeeze my butt cheeks continuously till I fall asleep.  Then I wake up and and start all over again.  Many naps a day.  At bed time I have been taking Clonozapam for years for the sleep problems of Lyme so I get pretty good sleep at night.  But still the profound fatigue.

One of you took 5HTP to ease withdrawal so I looked into it.  I learned that it can cause serotonin syndrome, a lethal condition if taken with an SSRI.  I am on an SSRI because Lyme disease got to my brain and caused permanent damage.  No 5HTP for me!

I find reading all of your thoughts and writing mine makes me feel a little better about all this hell.
Thank you all so much for being there for me.
Lorraine

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by Maratara, Sep 14, 2011
Hi all,

I am now on Day 2 of NO TRAM (and day 8 of NO NPLUS, yay)

I am feeling weird, but not too bad at all so far, although I only smoked my last joint last night, so that could change, haha.

The only thing I took today was a small bit of plain ibprofen, paracetomol, and Vitimin c, salmon oil and Vitamin B.

I ordered a whole bumch of the stuff you all have shared about, but sadly it is not here yet, hopefully tomorrow.

I think I am gonna be ok, can't wait to start shifting some of the weight I have gained while being a happy, lazy Pillhead ;)

Good luck to all, I just wanted to do an update as to how I am going, and I am IN the NON-Tram world at last!

M.

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by Lindalistless, Sep 14, 2011
Wow Lorraine, you are way ahead of the game. I know it may not feel like it but CONGRATULATIONS!!!! YOU SO DESERVE IT. Sounds like your doing everything right. Especially the part about 5HTP. Restless legs are usually part of the ongoing w/d. Try putting ace bandages on each of your lower legs. It tricks your muscles into thinking they are in use and the pain lessens. It worked for me. Need to play with the pressure alittle. Be careful, if its to tight it will cut off the circulation and make you more uncomfortable. That's the best tip I can give you now. Keep up the good work. Keep reading and posting. We love to hear how people are beating this thing.....

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by Lindalistless, Sep 14, 2011
Maratara- please be careful with anything that would tend to speed you up ( B complex etc..) because during acute withdrawel from tram your nerves tend to be in a state of acute excitability.  I know with me it made symptoms worse. I also read back on this forum, to definately avoid pot during tram withdrawel. Don't know much about that myself but thought I'd mention it just in case you were thinking about getting more, you could then be conscious of more aggrevated symptoms.  You are so courageous, can't wait to hear from you down the road when your body and mind start to awaken to your old self again. Praying for your strength and resolve to never fail you....

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by Maratara, Sep 14, 2011
Thanks a lot Linda, really sweet of you to say :)


I am out of pot now anyways, and to be honest, although it did seem to help me coming off the nplus----it has left me hacking up my lungs (I quit smoking years ago but smoked ALL through the last week) and I have  a really bad taste in my mouth and my nostils too. Smoking is soooooyukky!!! Saying that though, I will prob smoke again later tonight, even though I hate it for some reason it is comforting for the moment, lol.

Seems to me withdrawal is a game, ya just gotta try and find the path that leads to "WINNING" (lol, ala Charlie Sheen, NOT)

I don't want anymore pot, believe me, I feel gross just smoking what I did, and I have smoked a couple of just plain smokes today.....but they too are now making me gag, thank the Lord.

I have eaten well again today, trying to stay on mostly proteins, but I am still craving high carb crap and have indeed had some of that too----just gotta get myself into the straight life and then worry about a more strict diet.

Appreciate all the help, and hope anyone new feels comfortable sharing the truth about their situation on here.

M

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by Tramadoc, Sep 14, 2011
Got two days in a row at 18.  Taken 6 today trying to get through the pain and lethargy of withdrawal without giving up too many pills.  So, got 12 left for the day.   I know from all of you that once it starts to be easy at 18, I gotta start decreasing.  I might just stay at 18 for a while so I won't feel wiped out for the next four decades it will take to do this.

fieryrockchick - your fall reminds me a lot of what I've done.  To save myself from too much embarrassment, I'll just relate the following.  I got up on a ladder while on these things, fell off and ripped open my elbow right in front of my neighbors. They all rush over to help, of course.  They were very gracious.  The next day I'm trying to water some plants and again fall. Everyone sort of looked the other way - after awhile a neighbor starts thinking something is wrong with this guy.  Yes.  There is.

Lindalistless and MyFreedom - I should pay you for your encouragement.  I would, too, if I hadn't spent all of my money on Tramadol.

legaljunky - you may be new but you're way ahead of me.  Listen to these people - they are really good!

Marahara - way to go!  Totally tram-free.  When you are in your 90's, check-in on me.  I may be down to 10/day by then.

Okra - thanks for thinking of me - yes, I am on a slow withdrawal - a very, very slow withdrawal.  I take so much and can tolerate so little of the symptoms. It wears me out trying to stay on 18 a day.  So - maybe by Christmas - 2044, I could be down to 17

SteveTramadol - Hope you're OK.  I miss your optimism and cheery disposition.



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by legaljunky, Sep 14, 2011
Just got back again today to see what all of you, my fellow tram-detox support buddies- I love you all- have to say, as right now my symptoms are spiking.   Read all your good thoughts and with you I will get past this spike.  Actually most of today has been OK- I got to do some real work- that's really exciting, and I expect days to get better and better.
Lindalistless- Thanks for the tip about restless legs- I will try it
Tramadoc- Thank you too!  It's so incredibly wonderful to know there are people out there for me!!!

The irony... I had never heard of Bob Dylan (I'm 67 & was miserably married to an active alcoholic in the 60's and sort of buried myself under a rock, I guess) and first heard of him about 8 years ago and I love his music.  I missed the whole alcohol,drug and marijuana experience myself, and all my kids know it.  I was deprived.  Now that I love Bob, they jokingly ask if I want some marijuana!   The irony of it all- I am a junky!

I feel better already!
Lorraine

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by Okra, Sep 14, 2011
Hi all

Just had one of the worst days, hardly slept last nite an I have just basically stayed I'n bed all day as I just couldn't move. My whole body hurts, an I get so agitated . I forgot to mention I saw my gp yesterday to get more tram 4 my withdrawal. He is v supportive an recognises how addictive the tram is. Wish my neurological consultant had realised that!! But I'm being given the opportunity to speak to the neuro guy to tell him the dangers an also try to persuade them that hav to not prescribe this unless it's for emergencies! Will let u no how that goes !!

Linda as always ur support  really helps, as does mr kennys, thank u so much x
Legaljunkie ditto wat tramadoc said.
Tramadoc, as long as u slowly taper ull get there, doesn't matter how long. R u able to take sum time out so u cam just focus on lowering ur taper ?
Fiery rock chick, I fall all the time, running joke with my friends. That's how I ended up I'n this situation I'n the first place!!
Anyway hope one of us gets a good sleep.
Take care all x

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by StephC28, Sep 14, 2011
Hi all, haven't posted in a long time, but just wanted to mention something to the newbies that really helped me in WD. First, the restless legs...one of the worst symptoms! Try taking Hyland’s Leg Cramps w/ quinine at bedtime. I was skeptical at first, but they are truly amazing. You can get them at any drug store like RiteAid or CVS. Also, the stomach stuff was awful for me. I drank a lot of mint tea and took plenty of Imodium. Finally, the B-12 sublingual tabs are really key for energy. And/or a spoonful of honey. Other than that, you got to wait it out...I know it *****, but there's a real change after the first 8 or so days. It's really doable! Just stay in the moment and accept that it will take time. It's all going to be okay in the end. It's simply the poison leaving your body. If you can, try to think of the pain as healing, as cleansing you. And while it does take time to get your full energy back, but it does come back! I'm at 8+ months out now and feel much like my old self. Thinking of you all and sending you my love and support...

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by Lindalistless, Sep 14, 2011
Hey doc just had to chime in and tell you I'm so excited for you . You have already come along way. Wanted to tell you when I read your last post I just busted out laughing like I haven't done in such along time. Tears were coming from my eyes. Then I read it to my husband and we both started laughing. Thank you slop much, I needed that.... So great to feel we are not alone. Keep going down<3

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by linkster, Sep 15, 2011
Good early morning here where I am its 230aam and im still awake. I wanted to stop in and give update and welcome all new posters in the room. Hang in there everyone. This is the start of day 24 for me if im not mistaken and I have been expeirencing some of the night symptoms for the last 3 nights. The days are great though to a point anyway I seem to be getting at least some energy back and im looking foreward to that 30 day mark because ive so many post that say that is another big turning point in this fight. Its so crazy how long a person can go on so little sleep. The restless legs and rhe shiver from deep within lol are still there but they seem to be fading into the background a little more each day. All new posters let this be ur support and guide as u travel to better days ahead if I can do this then I am sure u can take care and I will check back in soon L..........

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by legaljunky, Sep 15, 2011
Have to say good morning- I had a good nights sleep, today will be day 6 of 0 tram and with all of you, my buddies, I will get thru it.  I just read thru a lot of posts, so much good stuff, a lot from Tramadoc and about Steve.  Thanks so much for being there.  I am having a relatively easy time of it but I know it can lose it all with just 1 tiny pill.  I WILL NOT go there.

Read a lot about your spirituality.  I was raised Christian, found it did not relate to my life and gave it up.  With years of Alanon I came to believe God is everywhere and is the good in each of us.  It is our job to find it in ourselves and each other and build on it together.  This life saving forum reinforces my belief and fills me with happiness and determination to get this tram job done. We're doing it together! So exciting!



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by fieryrockchick, Sep 15, 2011
Thank you for the comforting words Linda and Doc xx
It is now a running joke in work, everyone making sure that i have something soft to land on lol :-)

Think I will take your advice and stay at this dose for a bit, until I feel ready to give it another go, possibly in the school holidays when I can be at home where i feel safe.  I am very lucky to have such a wonderful understanding husband who has helped me so much already xxx

thank you so much for all the help I have had from all of you
xxxxxxxxxxxx

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by Tramadoc, Sep 15, 2011
Command central to Steve - Come in.

3 days at 18.  I deserve the Congressional Medal of Honor.  I'm sure the beating I'm taking has to be worse than any marine ever saw on Iwo Jima.  Japs?  No Problem.  Flame-throwers?  Forget it.  Someone coming at me with a handful of trams - I surrender!  I'll deny my country, my faith and give up my firstborn if I don't have to fight this fight.  I'm pretty certain that the pain in my legs right now is worse than childbirth.  Of course, the point could always be argued and, who knows, I might be wrong.

legaljunky - I'm very impressed!  Actually I was there in those days and the pot, booze and mushrooms made me become the man I am today!  Except, most of the time, I'm an illegal junky.  I loved your comment on God.

Okra - yes, I can take some time off and have in the last month or two.  No good.  Not having something to do every day makes the wd so much harder for me.  The last time I tried it I was at 28/day.  By the end, I was at 48/day.  When you're that stoned,  the direction up or down doesn't really have much meaning so I was very pleased.  That was before the aliens left and my wife showed up.

StephC28 - Thanks so much for the suggestion of Hyland’s Leg Cramps w/ quinine!  My legs suffer the worst part of this so I'm going to try it.  I've take B-Complex but never sublingual B12.  Is that at RiteAid or CVS?  If it is controlled by the pharmacist, that's not going to be a problem.  Everywhere I go now I've got a sawed-off 12 guage with me in case things get really bad and someone is in the way.  Good for a long nap, too, I hear, in case my sleep doesn't get better.

Lindalistless - you're so kind!  I thought my notes were more angry and sarcastic because that's how I am when I hurt.  I'll tell my wife you liked that humor.  She won't believe it.  We tend to fight a lot right now.  The other day I took my wife to a restaurant.  The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.  "I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."  He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"  "Nah, she can order for herself."  And that's when the fight started.....

Linkster - you're my higher power!  I've seen you fight the fight and not ever turn a hair!  Day 24 of 0 Trams and up at 2:30 am?  Also, restless legs and the shivers from deep within are still there?  I was thinking by the time I was 24 days of this stuff I would be a US Senator or have won the Boston Marathon - something!   Ooh, this might be worse than I realized.

As always, reading your posts keeps me going.  I know today is day 4 at 18 and all of you are way ahead of me.  I know it's going to take a long time, but somehow I can see light and have faith that this will get better, because of each of you.  God is helping me as He always has and always will.  But, I think God speaks to each of us through other people.  When I see your love, mercy, compassion and encouragement, I see Him.

Maintain









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by StephC28, Sep 15, 2011
Tramdoc - no need for a prescription for the sublingual B-12. Try a health food store or Whole Foods. With the Hylands...take more than they recommend...I would take 3-4 before bed and then as I woke up, take 3-4 more a couple times throughout the night. Really makes a difference. Take some melatonin too! Again, not a doctor or anything, just letting you know what worked for me. Stay the course at 18...you're doing awesomely! MyFreedom's taper plan sounds really good for you. I was at about 16/day and then dropped to 8 for a week, and then went CT. Not fun, but I'm alive. I could be wrong about this...but it seems to me that unless you do a really controlled taper...all the way to 1/4 a pill a day...you will have symptoms regardless of what dose you go CT on. I think the larger factor is how long you've been taking tram. Your body is used to it now, so removing the substance, even if you're only taking a small amount, will be shocking for the system. However, on the really high amounts it might be safer to go down a bit first before you jump off. Again, who knows, it effects everyone differently...just my thoughts after reading this for a couple years and going through my own process with the drug.

Sending healing vibes to everyone out there!

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by AU2000, Sep 15, 2011
Boy am I made for this group.  Have been addicted to pain pills for about 25 years.  Lots of surgeries enabled me to get Vicodin &ES, Norco, & that rotten ******* Tramodol for the past. 5 years.

Didn't take my tram with me on a trip.  Heavy hallucinations (better than the 60's). landed myself in a out patient program.

Lasted about two months, have cronic pain, went back to tram.
Two more major ortho ops, back to 4-6 Norco a day.  Plus getting  online   Have tried to taper, no luck.
Now on 3 Norco a day.  The only way I can fathom stopping the tram is pretty much CT.  BTW, was taking 20-30 tram a day.
This is day 2 of taking it back to 0-2 tram a day.  Feel like I'm dying.
Had a drug screen, UDS, showed the online outfit is really selling us PCP!  They are making their own pills & using the cheap animal tranquilizer for major ingredient .  Another test on the pill itself showed the same crap.  That's when I knew I had to quit & CT is the only way for me.  Been there before, but now it looks like I'm not this time.
Hopefully the Norco & all of you will help.  Norco is completely legit & controlled by spouse.
Au2000

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by legaljunky, Sep 15, 2011
Tramadoc- You make your pain-and I'm sure it is excruciating- sound so funny!  Thanks so much!  You are always in my thoughts since I found this forum less than a week ago and I'm pulling for you!  Keep on keepin' on!  My problems are spiking at the moment so I'm back for another forum fix today.  When I have my spikes I've been taking a sub-lingual B12 and a Magnesium.
  I'm pretty sure I have an addictive personality- my Dad, his brother and their Dad were alcoholics so after an alcoholic marriage and my time in Alanon I have chosen not to drink any alcohol. Now that I have experienced drug withdrawal for myself, I have a new forgiveness and empathy for the addicts in my past.  So often I have to say to myself, "Don't judge, don't judge.
  My personal experience with  Melatonin- it had the opposite effect on me, kept me awake and antsy.  And that was years before I ever took Tramadol.  But we're all different

EXCEPT WHEN IT COMES TO TRAMADOL!!!!

Thank you all for being there with me one more day!

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by linkster, Sep 15, 2011
Tramadoc hey man hang in there I assure u even though i am on day 24 with symptoms it is far far better than being on trams. I understand the not lenier aspect of this drug and am close to turning around that 30 day corner. From all the post ive read so far I am expecting a lot better days after the 30 day mark seems that is another milestone. I remember a little from the last time I wasnt sleeping well even after 60 days hang in there and we will be here for u

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by Maratara, Sep 16, 2011
Hi all,


I am now on day 3 of NO TRAM, day 10 of NO nplus, and I am off the pot/weed cuz I ran out :)

I am tired, feel a bit yuck today......sweaty n hot n cold chills, etc...but I did take a sleeping pill last night that allowed me a very good rest, and even though I hate sleeping pill-hangovers, I will do the same tonight. I am so bummed my big shipment of vitamins and melatonin, magnesium, etc.....has not arrived :( I am doing ok though,really.....jsut gotta take this one day at a time :)

Good luck and God bless to all, will check back in later tonight. I am MAKING myself wash all my bedclothes and clothes now, airing out my place from all the yucky smoking I did last week, haha.

Hugs!

M.

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by AU2000, Sep 16, 2011
Man, if this is just day two, I know again, why I can't just tritate down with this stuff.  I really feel like I'm in the worst place ever.  whole body aches, but what am I telling you all?

I've gone thru this a couple of times now.  When I'm at this point, I always say, "never again."  But, here I am again.
For some reason I feel I'm going to make it last this time.  Maybe it's all the good vibes from reading this site.

I truly didn't know that tramodol/pcp was this universal a problem.  Once I can think normally again, I'm going to reach out to the medical community and let them know the truth about this awful substance.  This is harder than going off any of the other pain meds I've used.  Wow, is this bad.  Luck is with me, I don't have to see anyone until Monday.
Think a good thought for me.  I need it right now.
au

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by Tramadoc, Sep 16, 2011
Relapsed yesterday and doubled the dose.  I'm trying to hold out today.  Awoke last night feeling like I had written a bigoted message when I mentioned J___.  Anyone of Japanese ancestry, please accept my most heartfelt regret.  Never, purposefully, would I ever engage in racial slurs.  I apologize.  I guess the pain was too much and my brain went out.

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by Maratara, Sep 16, 2011
Big Hugs AU!!

I am in quite a bit of discomfort today myself.......this is Day3 off tram, I guess I forgot how hard it is at this stage as I have been using some other stuff to get off another drug I have been taking for too long: Nurofen Plus.

I am feeling like CRAP, and sadly, I MUST go to my family's this weekend for a memorial party, and I have to interact with a bunch of people, etc.
I feel so rotten tonight --I am scared that if I feel like this tomorrow I am going to have to take some tram , just enough to get me through the party........I hate saying it but I want to be honest. It's a long train journey and a Big party....I won't be able to interact with people feeling like this :(

BUT: ONE DAY AT A TIME.

I do not want to be on Tram at all, and really, I don't even like it that much.

I am gonna hang tough and do all I can to stay off it. Tomorrow is a new day, I might feel better.

Blessings to all!

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by Maratara, Sep 17, 2011
Uugh, didn't sleep really, feel like SHITE.......have some errands to do and am gonna keep hanging tough until 6 tonight when my train leaves.

Day 4, no tram.


(wah)

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by linkster, Sep 17, 2011
Good morning everyone today is day 26 for me i think and last night I slept for the first time. I slept 6 and a half hrs streight and woke up a little stiff lol but I will take it. It has been a rough month to say the least but each day that I put between me and the trams is getting better. To all the new posters please hang in there this could easily be your darkest and brightest time in life. Ive learned a lot about myself through this expierence and a lot about others too and can say my life just seems brighter bby the day..... Linkster your friend

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by linkster, Sep 17, 2011
Maratara wow day 4 u are doing great please think long and hard about taking tram as I know u are u are only just a little way from a great breakthrough by day 7 there is usually no turning back. Not judging at all lol because day 4 is still burned in my memory and i was having the exact same thoughts but mrkinny reminded me that taking a tram is just not an option if I wanted to get off these and it worked for me. I got through the day and then the next day and so on until now and life is good. I really just want to encourage u that there is better days ahead long after the tram is gone L

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by Maratara, Sep 17, 2011
Linkster,

Deep hugs to you, and major congrats. You are an inspiration to me, and I am NOT giving up---but I admit I took about 40 mg of tram today. I am sweating BUCKETS and honestly felt like I was going to pass out.
If I didn't have this memorial and party afterwards tomorrow (4 hour train tonight), I would NOT be taking any, I would just keep hidden away here until a break, but I have to go to the train station in a couple of hours and I just couldn't do it.......I have to face about 50 relatives tomorrow and I am a sweaty miserable mess :(

I am going to do my best to keep it at less than 50mg per day while down there, and I am going to start the QUIT again as soon as I get back (couple of weeks). The one good thing is that I did get the Tram dosage down to less than half of what I have been taking, and today is day 11 off the Nurofen Plus, which really is a miracle for me, I have been taking loads of that daily for almost 3 years.

I guess I just have to accept defeat on this today, I didn't give myself enough time to be really OFF of it before this event.

I will know better next time.


Thanks to everyone for their help and support, and to those of us still snagged, don't give up!! I am sure not!

Blessings,

M.

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by Tramadoc, Sep 17, 2011
I feel for you Maratara.  But, at least you had a reason to go back.  Mostly my reason if I'm a coward  I have been taking more when Thurs I broke down.  Mon, Tues, Wed I could do it.  I'm going to start Monday again and see if I can muscle through it.

Hang in there.  

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by EmilyPost, Sep 17, 2011
This thread is closed.

Please move to;

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/314723/Tramadol--Ultram-Recovery-Room-Part-47

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