Oct 05, 2011
I've had a lot of anxiety for the last two days. It's been raining an cloudy for weeks. I've noticed that my intense problems with anxiety coincide with rain or snow, often in the fall and winter. I need to record all these incidents. I did some "meditation" last night. I made everything quiet, turned off the TV and looked at my living room and told myself over and over again, "Everything's OK now, you're at home. It's OK." I also repeated, "Jesus loves me" over and over to clear out the thoughts that were making me sad/anxious. It is hard to stop these. They are unconscious and not fully formed words, but thought/feelings about all the things that I perceive going wrong in my life: aspects of my health, finance, family, death, relationship with God, God's lack of intervention in my pain. I feel like things are getting so bad that I will be unable to continue working, I'll loose my job, and access to medications and then I will be unable to do anything. Thinking about it now makes me anxious.