life after brain tumor surgery

I have been waking lately up with my hands hurting like they are asleep,kind of tight and swollen. It hurts to make a fist. Goes away as the day goes on but always comes back when i am sleeping.

Unfortunately no one prepares us for brain surgery.  I had a tumor removed 5 years ago and I still remember the trauma I experienced afterwards.  It took me a full six months to even feel somewhat normal and even now I am not the same. Memory loss is definetely a part of the post brain surgery symptoms as well as the fog.  I was sent home with Butalbital. I finally gave up and just stop taking everything.  I went to a neuro opthamologist and he put me on Neurotin which helped my pain I was having behind my eyes.  I went to the Neuro Opth. against my dr's advice because I was having trouble with my eyes.  It turned out that my eyes, becuase of the surgery was healing cross eyed.  I started eyes excersises too.  Your brain will swell for months, possibly 6 months and my dr had told me this but I experienced this for myself.  I still suffer from headaches they call cluster headaches.  I am fully recovered from the brain tumor except for the physcological effects they did not prepare me for.  I hope this helps some. Hang in there, brain surgery takes time to recover from; and if you are like me no one prepares you for the after effects.

i feel exactly the same way. My mother was diagnosed with a glioblastoma on June 5th she had surgery the very next day, went through 33 treatments of radiation and was taking chemo pills. Again about 2 weeks ago, less than 5 months after the first diagnosis, she had a second tumor. She had surgery again. It has been about 3 weeks and she is still in a lot of pain, She is experiencing the same symptoms that she was when she had the tumors, maybe even worse. She is in the hospital right now becuase she has some type of infection. Doctors will do a spinal tap to drain the fluid to see what type of infection it is and how to treat it. But you r so right, so many questions, and absolutley no answers. i am sorry for what u r going through and i will pray for you. I wish you the best.

I'm recently out of a brain tumor..a pituitary tumor and mengianoma..I have stammering with my speech, foggy feeling, sometimes things feel surreal, I have weakness in my limbs at time.  Sometimes my tongue gets thick and I slur my words as if I'm drunk..it's very embarassing. I still have Horrific pain in the brain which runs down to what feels like the edge of my eardrum. My head was cut from ear to ear. I've had alot of weird things going on..I was not prepared for this mentally whatsoever. Could someone else tell me what type of psycological effects they are having or have had? I'm thankful I found this blog. I'm not alone. God Bless you all and I'll pray for everyone's speedy recovery..
My name is robin..you can email me at ***@****

If anyone has had a meningioma removed there is a website meningioma.co.uk run by a lovely understanding lady who has an inoperable meningioma. She offers support, info and advice for meningioma sufferers. It helped me and my wife.

Simon

meningiomauk.org is the correct address.

Sorry

Simon

My daughter had a brain tumor removed in 2000 when she was 10.  Honestly speaking, I feel that we are on a constant merry go round. Some days she has head aches and sleeps practically all day.  She constantly daydreams and talks to herself.  She gets so caught up in her daydreams that she urinates on herself.  I thought she was having a seizure during the times she did this on herself, but she can explain to me where she was and what she may have been dreaming about.  She often accuses me of things that don't happen and talks about situations that have never occurred.  We are going to the hospital next month for a week long eeg/video, etc. to see if she is seizing-or what!  Has anyone else experienced any strange behaviors this long after tumor removal?

I had brain tumor removed 11 years ago - at age 30 and still feel in a daze much of the time - two naps per day - headaches - foggy feelings and "sparking of neurons" I call it.   Sudden jolts of smells and colors.
But........the cancer is gone.
God bless your daughter and you.
***@****

hudgreg.at.juno.com

Its a illegal substance and very contravercial but canibis will help with the headaches, keep you calm and relax'd and help you deal with the mental side effects that you find disturbing.
Unsure? google it !

i had a brain tumor when i was 9... i got it removed by surgery. some days i still have headaches and i get tired pretty easily... and i have memory loss some... but overall i feel fully recovered. i am 13 now and my doctor said i have definetly made a good recovery. i know now that i really HAVE made a good recovery, i mean after reading all the other comments.
god bless you all, ill be praying.
meredith.

MY NAME IS BRUCE HARVEY AND I LIVE IN PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA. BACK IN THE YEAR OF 2000 I HAD TO UNDER GO A BRAIN SURGERY TO REMOVE A TUMOR THAT WAS SAID TO HAVE BEEN PRESENT SENSE I WAS A LITTLE BOY. THE OPERATION WAS PERFORMED WHEN I WAS 49  YEARS OLD. NOW THAT I AM 59 YEARS OLD THAT ONLY THING THAT IS WRONG WITH MY MIND/BRAIN IS THE FRUSTRATION OR NOT KNOWING THE FACTS AND MY MEDICAL RECORDS. THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING IS MY FAITH IN GOD. I'VE FOUND OUT MAN DOES NOT ALWAYS HELP YOU NO MATTER HOW NICE YOU THINK YOU'VE BEEN TO PEOPLE. I HAVE BEEN FUNCTIONING ON MY OWN FOR YEARS NOW. BUT ALL THAT I KEEP HEARING IS THAT I HAVE A BRAIN INJURY OR EVEN BRAIN DAMAGE. IT WAS ONCE SAID THE MY COGNITIVE SKILLS WERE BAD. YET I LIVE IN THE BIG CITY OF PHILADELPHIA ON MY OWN. WHAT HURTS ME ALSO IS THE FACT THAT I AM A VIETNAM VETERAN AND I DON'T WON'T ANY SPECIAL TREATMENT ALL THAT I WANT IS MY LEGAL RIGHTS AS A AMERICAN CITIZEN!
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT PEOPLE GO THROUGH WITH DISABILITIES. WHERE ARE OUR RIGHTS?

Hi, my name is Sue and I had a benign brain tumor 3yrs ago.  I don't remember the week prior to me ending up in the emergency room, or the week after my surgery!  Looking back to the month before my surgery, I had alot of minor problems.  By themselves they didn't mean much, but, looking back they were all classic symptoms.  Apparenty my tumor had been growing in my brain for 10-15yrs before rearing it's ugly head!   All of the tumor was removed luckily.  I was on anti-depressants for a while, then I took myself off them thinking I didn't need them...I survived a BRAIN TUMOR, I'm a tough gal!  I've tried to ignor the fact that I have memory loss; irratability;  short temper;  and depression...I just deal with the problems.  The depression is the hardest part of it all.  On the outside I seem like my normal, out-going self...my own parents don't even see any difference in me. Most people think that because it happened 3yrs ago, and I look, and talk normally, that I'm ok....but on the inside it's tough to get out of bed some days.  

Judy July 16, 2010
My husband had a seizer back in november 2009 we don't have any  insurance so it has been so hard.  We went to a hospital and were there for a week than they told us that it was a brain tumor and that we could go home. They recommed that we find a specialist.  The problem is the tumor is very deep in the brain and the complications or loss of memory or speech. I am so worry  ( can someone advice me what to do ?)  

If your husband is a veteran, go to one of there hospitals...super care he will receive!!!

I'm Jay, I had a brain tumor removed 8 months ago. It took me a while to get back on track, I am still on my way. Somedays I get out of bed because I am simply tired of being in the same room. Some nights I go to sleep not giving a **** if I wake up the next morning.
Bad memory, fogginess, confusion, irritability, anger outbursts, panic attacks, double vision.. are still part of my 'usual' life. What drives me crazier is that I can't do anything about it. I try to seem calm, control it, but on the inside I am not the same person anymore.

I still feel grateful to be alive, despite all that. All these little challenges that might mean nothing to those around me always test me and keep me going. Nobody will ever get those feelings apart from other survivors or people who have been in similar situations.
It took me a couple of months to accept that.. nobody tells you about these things pre-surgery.
All of this has made me much more perceptive, I do daydream quite often, but having went through all that I think we all tend to change our outlook and insight.

bless you all
peace

I had  a benign brain tumor 15 years ago.  I always have numbness on the left side of my face, but no pain.  Lately, I am having pain and more numbness on the same side.  I went to a dentist and was told there was nothing wrong with my teeth.. I also had an MRI and was negative.  I do not know where to go or what to do to alleviate the pain.  Anybody has an idea?

Hi my name is Chris I had a brain tumer removed 3 years ago this coming Jan 17th, and i have the tired  feeling alot and feel lightingting bolts as I call them to my right eye and right ear. My tumor was on the right front temperal and thank God was not cancerous.  Nobody does warn us the post effects of the surgery, and to teel u the truth, im not sure if they know or understand these problems.  The brain is one part of the body that we know little about, yet there seems to be little desire to study us after these surgeries!  Ive seen things that turn out wernt there, and the mental problems i assumed would come from this surgery, but alittle heads up would have been nice. Being the strong willed one of all my friends and family, some how it seems ive fooled them to thinking i still am, but im alittle weaker nowadays, and there is always the threat of another siesure.  before the tumor was removed i had anger problems start to develop, and after the surgery, my anger was back, and stayed untill i admitted to myself that I did have brain damage, and would have to think alot more than the average person before i responded to things that upset me.  The hardest part of all of this is the fact that part of the tumor was left inside my head, because it was attacted to the main artery in the brain. The doctors have no idea how long it will take to grow back, and start pushing the brain into my skull again. Live live like its last day with ur loved ones, and friends because if ur like me ur body will start to reject the siesure medicine, and then it gets even uglier, like the loss of bowl movements and even more memory loss and more siesures.

My mom had a tumor removed from her left temporal lobe 8 months ago, after 33 weeks of radiation she was doing fine.  8 weeks exactly after radiation was stopped she has totall gotten confused, memory loss, very agitated and cries alot.  The doctors have put her on aricept which has made it worse.  The confusion and the agitation is so bad I have decided to stop the aricept my self.  This has took her back to where she is a little girl.  My mom is 66 years old and she thinks she still loves at home with her parents who passed away 20 years ago.  Any one have any of these side effects?

My friend had surgery to remove tumor in his brain. I haven't receive any news from him or his family member. Can anybody tell me what will happen to him? When he will basically will be normal? He's already 3 months after the surgery. Thanks.

     My mom had a cancerous left temporal lobe tumor (3cm ball) removed 2 months ago. 3 months ago she had a radical change in personality (very flat affect), right facial droopiness, and right sided weakness. My husband took her to the doctor and was told that she had had a mini-stroke. She is 71 and was the healthiest person I knew.  A month later, I took her back and insisted that she have a cat scan. Lo and behold-its a tumor! Five days later it was removed. She has had very little pain. Prior to getting adequate levels of steroids in the blood, she was confused, and messing up her words. For example, she requested a tooth regulator and became incensed when we couldn't figure out what she wanted-she wanted a toothpick. She wanted us to call people who had been dead for twenty years. The steroids seemed to help tremendously with this though they generate their own problems...The flat affect has resolved. In its place is meanness, irritability, unreasonable stubbornness, distrustfulness, etc. She refuses radiation treatment, which I can understand.
     She has declared that she intends to make her children's lives miserable and has proceeded to do that in between bouts of very real weakness and dependency. She lives alone. One day she is doing great-able to cook, bathe, drive. The next day she can't make it to the restroom, light her cigarette, get to the kitchen to get herself something to eat. She has been off of dexamethazone (steroid) for 1 wk. Her face is puffy. She is messing up her words a little. She is more irritable. She has started to shake uncontrollably. The doctor has stated she has steroid induced diabetes but has no clue as to why she is shaking. She is running a fever and has been started on antibiotics. At this point the doctor has been unable to identify a source of infection.
     My overall impression is that the doctors don't really know what will happen with any given person.What damage is done by the surgery and what damage is done from the tumor is open to speculation. How much improvement can be obtained is equally obscure. The surgeon really doesn't seem to be interested in anything beyond the fact that he successfully removed the tumor, kept the patient alive, and all physical and mental abilities are proximate to previous levels. The oncologist is out of the scenario because my mother isn't going to take radiation treatment. Her "normal" doctor is the one who misdiagnosed her. I think any other doctor she sees wants to run in the other direction due to the complexity of everything and her nastiness of temperament.
     This may sound depressing to those of you facing this challenge yourself or through a loved one. I however always like to know what I am facing so that I can best plan how to handle a given situation. Since the doctors don't appear to really know, it is through message boards like these that people can contact others to see what has happened to them, what has helped, what might be expected etc. For each miserable day that passes, it is one more day that I have with my mom and is therefore precious to me. A good day is a treasure beyond worth.  Good luck all.

My father had a brain tumor removed two months ago. It was graded II, and told us that a radiation was not necessary. Now, after only two months we had done MRI and the tumor is bigger then before, bigger then an egg. My father is 56 year old, has the same symptoms as before, memory lost, he is very nervous, and sometimes disoriented. Could you please give me some advice. What is the next step. Another operation?
Thank you, and good luck to all of us    

For the lady who is asking about what's the best drug's to take for head pain. First off, I'd make an appointment to see a Pain Management Dr. ASAP! I would suggest getting placed on Methadone for the pain. I was very afraid of this drug in the very beginning but now I realize after all of this time it was the best. I could not imagine what life would be like without it. I have felt the pains in my head without methadone and it's not anything I'd like to feel 24-7. You do not feel high or intoxicated which is one of the thing's I love. It actually blocks the pain signlas in the brain. It's the perfect medication for your type of pain. Remember this pain will only worsen with time not get better. This I also know.  Get on the right medications ASAP by the proper Doctors. Don't listen to other's who have not endured what you have. Remember, everyone has an opinion.  I had a craniotomy for a brain tumor in 2005. I do feel all of your aches and pains. Having this type of tumor surgery is a long journey back to some normalcy. I can say, it's now 2-23-2011 and I'm beginning to get my memory and my life back in some order. It was just this year that I've been able to do this. I've had some tough bouts with my memory etc., since this surgery. Thing's your surgeon won't ever tell you or you would not have the surgery. I'd never thought it would be this long to recover fully and I don't feel I'm 100% at all. I've lost so much of my memory. I used to design Webster. I've lost all ability to recall any of that memory. I can no longer recall thing's on a whim that I could before. I'll tell you something even stranger I live in a 3800 sq. foot home alone. I spent well over 2 years in therapy because I was so disorganized and it had caused me to have panic, anxiety attacks. I can't tolerate clutter or a messy house. However I was unable to get my home together, so I went to therapy. Only until later discover not only did I own a 3800 sq. foot home I had a 2 car garage. Imagine how stupid I felt when I realized I had a 2 car garage and I could have very easily packed up these thing's cluttering my home and la bled them to place in the garage to take out at another date to sort and put in their place. I felt like the biggest dumb *** that's all I can say. The surgery causes these ah ha moments and it's quiet frankly very embarrassing. I needed speech therapy but due to the fact my grandmother was such a good English teacher I was able to school myself. I still have to have people to say a word and let me hear it so I can repeat it over & over to learn to properly pronounce it.  I used to could write so well and my spelling, punctuation and grammar was impeccable and I lost every memory of how to even structure a paragraph, sentence, when and where to put a period or a comma. It's so embarrassing but it is what it is. It's been a long road..and I'm still traveling the road.
I finally did get all of the clutter boxed, labeled, and placed in the garage I realized I had. Can you believe it?
Some thing's I have learned that have helped me;
1) Meditation
2) Writing, journal, making notes, keeping lists
3) Trying to remain calm so your blood pressure doesn't spike, getting you upset and maybe causing a anxiety attack or panic. Trying to stay calm is a hard job for me but it can be possible with practice.
4) Getting therapy to help you if you have the slightest problem

Don't ever be embarrassed because you didn't remember something you normally would. Please don't beat yourself up. I do this and it's hard not to.  After all not every day do people live through such a horrific surgery and live to tell.
5) be thankful you are ALIVE and celebrate it each and everyday
6) Sign up for websites that help to inspire you, make you feel good etc.

7) Also get yourself a little book at one of the dollar stores. Keep a list of every website you sign up for. Keep a listing of all your user names and password's (there is nothing worse than sitting for hours trying to beat yourself into submission trying to recall your user name and password) Simply keep this log until your memory returns and keep it close by so you don't forget where it is.
You can do little thing's to make your life more easier so you can transition back to the beautiful full of life and memory individual you were before your surgery.
My email address is: lawdog323 (AT) aol.com if you ever need to ask me anything please do. I am seen by some of the best doctors in this country at one of the Medical Center's. I've had a long, long, road of recovery, and this is not my first rodeo. I've got a lot of experience under my belt. If I can't help you. I can find someone who will. I have all of my specialist on speed-dial.
Bless you all. I hope all of you recover in the fastest most easiest way possible. I do feel your pain..
Robin D.

I read all of your posts after I wrote the above post about my journey after brain tumor surgery. Wow, I didn't realize we are all having so many side-effects. I too wake up @ times  with both hands feeling fully asleep and I can't move them. I have awakened and my arms would be so (I can only describe it as being fully asleep) that I would have to use my other arm to work my whole arm back and forth to get it to "wake-up" this is very weird and I felt it was from my spine as I have some tumors in the spine and I have not committed to what I will do about them. I have had a total personality change as well. I used to be a *** kicking SOB of a woman. My friend's used to call me, the real life Laura croft or G. I. Jane. Now I'm nothing but a doormat of the person I used to be. Don't get me wrong. I always used my very brave attitude to help other's and I never accepted no for an answer. Now I'm just a shell with this very large personality hidden some where deep inside. I know how "she" used to be but I can't get "her" to come alive.  

Also, I have been having periods of suddenly smelling and/tasting thing's out of the blue. Like the other day I was in an area where there was a bunch of stinking trash that had set out in the heat all day. It was awful. Suddenly I started smelling fresh baked cupcakes. WTF? How did this happen.

I also day dream a lot..and time is something I could care less about. I am so happy to be alive but honestly I've made peace with everything and everyone if I pass in the night! I could care less. This is not who I used to be.

I suffer from extreme chronic fatigue. I have my weeks where I can get up and work like a mad woman. Then I'll be back down in the bed for another 7 to 8 days, sometimes it's less 2-4 days never 1 day or more than 10. My energy comes in spurts and it's sporadic spurts. It's very frustrating because I can never fully commit to anything, any events.  I am up and down (physically able to get up and function) which drives me crazy. I have tried to journal these ups and downs with my physical issues but it's not a stable regimen. I will say this week for example. I slept til 3 PM yesterday (Tuesday) and I was back asleep at 10 PM. The day before I got up at 8 AM was up until 3 AM. I did nothing all day on Monday but lay in the bed I was exhausted. Exhausted even though I did absolutely nothing Sunday or Saturday but lay in the bed so tired I could not move.  Now, last Wednesday, I was outside digging up dead bushes out of my garden all day! 2 days prior I was in the bed for 3 days straight so fatigued. Nobody understands this, not even me.

Right before my surgery I had narcolepsy so severely I feel asleep 32 times during my admissions to the hospital. 32 TIMES??? that's pretty serious! I would go to sleep on Friday and sleep all weekend long and wake up on Sunday around 12. The only reason I know this is because my son was very concerned he went to work on Friday and stayed gone until Sunday. I was still lying in the same spot, wearing the same clothing, and he saw no signs of my being up and about (cooking)  I've had ZERO support from my direct family (sister's, brother's, father, mother). I'm basically alone in this journey. My precious son is in Afghanistan on his 3rd tour of duty and is now married with 2 little girls. When he's not in the war, he is living in Kansas.  The only one person who offer's a slight amount of support is a chronic complainer and has a host of medical issues in which I'm told about every time I see her. This drives me MAD! Often send's me into a internal rage. I can't tolerate hearing about it. I don't know why it bother's me so much. It's like they are the Debby Downer of my every day!

I am in a mental fog quiet often..But when I do feel good and I'm up and moving..I will work myself into a frenzy. I do talk to myself a lot and I also answer myself which is very bizarre. I used to talk to the TV before the surgery but on a quick witted comment or something snide about a news report. Never, ever to this degree. I have a full on dialogue with myself. Weird. I also know it's weird and not normal. I do have severe bouts with memory loss. if something traumatizes me I forget everything that surrounds it. I do have crying spells from time to time and I have compulsive/obessive thoughts about things at times which drives me batty..All of this happened AFTER the surgery. I never had these problems before.

One thing that has improved my mental state with having some physical energy maybe 12 days or less out of a 30 day period. I'm on new med's. Mind you, I HATE taking medications and prior to this I wasn't a person that would take an aspirin. I was very healthy and took good care of myself..Now I'm stuck on these med's so I make them work for me..
I take Methadone (chronic pain) with Adderall (Adult ADD), Effexor (PTSD and slight depressive disorder which is not what I call full blown depression but it helps), Xanax (severe anxiety attacks with agoraphobia), Celebrex (A vascular necrosis), Flexaril (muscle stiffness and pain ONLY when needed) I truly believe the methadone and the adderall compliment each other. The combo drugs are wonderful for your mental state and having more energy and thoughts of doing more. It does not SPEED you up whatsoever.

Once I started the adderall I could tell my entire attitude changed. I'm still the woman who is in this body after the brain surgery but she has much brighter days then before the med's change

ok my man is in prison due to be released in a couple of months he is going to have brain surgery in about a month and he is to be released in june 2011 he has been in prison for two years and he has been talking about getting brain surgery for a long time now so i have been doing alot of research on it today and i just read all of u guys post and it is very distressing because for the most part he will be out on parole so he will have on an ankle bracelet he, i am starting online school soon we also have 2 1/2 yr old twins which hes getting out to take care of them so i can do school and go back to work but after reading all the post and of the research it dosent look like i will be doing much of anything but taking care of him and taking care of my children which i have taking care of most of their time on this earth by myself i thought i would be getting a break and some help from him and im not i guess this seems selfish but he just lays this on me a couple days ago and has no info for me like what kinda tumor is it or anything nothing and we had all these plans and now everything seems to be going out the window im just fustrated as to why he has to have this done right now and why they didnt have this done a year ago why right now when he getting out of prison.??? what can i do does he need this surgery is it life or death he dosent know any answers to my questions what can i do????

my friend has tumer more than 5 years..however right now he knew that he have brain tumer..doctor advised him for surgery kindly tell me whether it is benificial or not?

Wow I had brain surgery about 18months ago for the removal of a large cyst. They had to cut the muscle and nerve on my temple to get to the cyst. I have terrible headaches still, and my temple kills me some days. I did ask the surgeon who told me to ask the physio but she said what can she do about the pain on my temple it's not like you can exercise it. I feel a little better knowing it isn't just me. Sleeping is a nightmare, the pain on the side of my head and face if I fall asleep on that side is astounding. I know I am lucky but my husband and I sometimes wonder if the cure is worse than the problem. I feel like such a sook complaining about it, it seems so long ago but at least I know now its not just me.

Oh my god!!  Where has this forum been!! I'm reading these posts and crying because I'm not alone!!! I feel like I've been going crazy since I had a benign brain tumor removed six months ago.The surgery went well but it is as though my body has been falling apart ever since!!  I was healthy before surgery, seldom had a cold! After: numerous bouts of sinusitis (treated with penicillin which I am post-surgery allergic), at my 3 month follow up they tell me I have diffuse sinus disease. The ENT I am referred to tells me it's all on the right side (where the tumor was) and yes, it's relayed to the tumor and/or surgery. He puts me on antibiotics and prednisone  and when I go back, no noticeable change. Candidate for surgery, but no dire rush. But he says "I don't know why you had such a severe case" - I say you told me it was related to the tumor and he looks at me as though I were crazy!! Meanwhile. My left arm hurts. Feels like someone punched me. FireRm starts to burn, hand tingled. Dr says peripheal neuropathy probably due to surgery. Puts me on Gabapetin which makes me loopy. Go see my regular Dr who says no, I pulled a muscle, wait a few weeks. It gets worse. I go back and he finally says physical therapy where she says I might have a torn rotator cuff. It's killing me and even though they say the only way they can tell for sure is an MRI but no one will authorize it. My head hurts where the incision was made;they cut nerves in my face when they dud it, so I'm very sensitive. My vision stops focusing after awhile. I still have headaches I mentioned depression and no one cares. I am so tired, I try to do cardio and afterwards feel horrible. I cannot sleep without a sleep aid. I am easily agitated which is so not me. I look on so it's like in fine to everyone else. I try talking to my husband, to family members, Drs, therapists, NO ONE GETS IT!!! Meanwhile I'm if work and keep getting mounds if paperwork to give to Drs re disability. It's never ending and they make me feel as though I am trying to milk the system. I find myself wishing I had a different result like terminal cancer so that I could go -- nothing makes me happy, I don't get excited about anything!! I feel like no one believes me!! I'm not suicidal as I could never do that to my kids, but I wish I were dead!! it's like someone said -- they worry about making the tumor go away, making you comfortable if you have cancer. But if it was benign, they don't care, you don't have a problem!! People care about the dying. They don't seem to care bout those of us that are living, or at least trying to!!! I wish I could go back and undo my surgery!! And there is no one to talk to!!!!

I don't know what to do anymore. My husband had brain surgery last year to have a benign tumor removed that was growing on his pituitary and he has not been the same since. He is angry all of the time, hes violent, and acts like he hates me. He is on a regimen of at least 6 different medications to help with his deficient hormones because his pituitary basically stopped functioning after the surgery. He says how much he hates how he is not normal anymore and he has to take pills to feel better. Some days we have good days, but there is at least 1 point in each day where I feel like I don't know who he is anymore. He can be happy and talking to me and I feel like we are in a good place and then literally 5 seconds later he will fly off the handle and start cursing and saying how stupid I am. Hes not sexually interested in me anymore as well as he wont kiss me or hug me on his own. I feel so alone. His doctors are no help. They just say these things take time to work themselves out but how long am I supposed to feel like this with no one helping me?? What do I do? I feel like he wouldn't even care if he lived or died anymore. He constantly tells me I never help him with any of his problems and I just don't care, when all I do is take care of him! Pretty much nobody in our family knows what is going on  because I pretend things are fine so we wont have an argument later. And then I just come home and cry. The worst part is we are only 24. He hasn't even finished college because of this. He can't focus on one thing long enough to finish it and keeps dropping classes. How is he going to be able to function in the real world when he finally does finish? Is he going to be able to hold a job? Is he going to get himself fired because of his anger? Are we going to be able to have a family? I feel like I need a support group to deal with this but don't know where to find one. I just don't know. Without me I know he won't be able to deal with this because he wont have insurance but how long am I supposed to live like this? Nobody really knows how depressed I am. I know he's depressed but he wont get help and every time I mention psychiatry he freaks out. somebody help me!!!

In september of this year it will be one year that my son who is 11 now had a brain tumor the size of a softball on his left side it was a very rocky in the beginng he had to be rushed back to kosairs childrens hospital to have fluids removed an now he still fights everyday to be able to use his right hand agian he still has problems with balance an here recent he has been complaining about his body hurting an he has had loss of appetite an he just wants to sleep what should i do ?

My brother had a brain syrgery last week, they removed a huge tumor (germinoma) from the brain stem, since the operation he is DISORIENTED , see things never happens and cant remember at all.
  Could anybody tell me when this Disorientation will disappear ???

I have had two Brain Tumor surgeries and have trouble reasoning every day life. People don't make sense and it is hard to put a handle on it!! I just keep being me, but people don't want that it seems. They want me to be something I am not. They move food around on me, deny me a tv in my room for a year and act as though I am a nuisance being alive. Is sad but true! I am a almost 50 year old that is naive and has been used by a man too!! Am trying to press forward with bravery! I too have memory issues and people pre-determine me before they have even met me. I feel nauseated most of the time and have cold sweats at any moment. No appetite but for soup and the worst thing is. My family doesn't care nor want to hear of my ailments at all, ever. So I sit and stuff them and tonight am trying to go out and see if can make it? The tumor could not be removed and is still there on my artery of my brain. Had a stroke during the surgery and have to learn to walk, use a fork and so on all over again. still, there are no people out there that really care. That is the sad part...
Thanks for letting me share!
E