I thought I was dying

Knowing now, I believe I suffered with HYPER for many years before I was "tested" . Being a women it seems every doctor whether GP MD or especially "MY" male OB chalked everything up to me being an energitic person with moodiness. PMS was shoved down my throat for 15 years before I even had a blood test done. Seems the OB wants to check your "you-who" yearly and that's it!  Oh yeah..... and your depressed too!!

Finally in Nov 2003 I went to this OB for a check. I went from 130 pounds to 100 in 5 weeks. I was shaking, sweating nervous, slept 2 hours a night,my cycle was jazzed up,hair loss etc...etc...etc. He decided to run a blood test and called me 2 days later telling me my tsh was low and to see my MD.  That's it. TSH... what's that! I never had a steady MD that I saw so I used a friends reference and saw hers. Couldn't see them for a month. By now my heart was pumping out of my chest so bad I thought I was having the "big one" too!!  My test was never forwarded to them so they had to draw again. 48 hours later they called me in. I was hyper storming at a tsh well below 0.00 with a dangerous pulse rate. Immediately they put me on Topral and xanax and referred me to an endo.

I got into this "medical professional"  endo a few days later. This guys was a dip $h!+. I sat in a office with him, and my husband, as he "counseled" us. I felt so bad clinically and his conversation was more on the aspects of wanting to know if I was in a good marriage!! In that meeting he informed me I had anger issues. He dismissed my husband after an hour of talking a put me in a room. Excused the nurse!!! (she was not allowed in there) - drew the blinds in the window and proceeded to preforms a lengthy vaginal and breast exam on me. HMMMMMMMMMM wasn't my thyroid in my throat??? This exam was one I had never experienced before. After HE was done. I moved to a room sick to my gut where finally a lab tech (female) drew blood. I asked her why I needed that exam and she said "I don't know!" I left there crying in the car with my husband knowing what I went through was not right. Never did I return nor did he call back to give me results.

I went back to my MD telling both her and her PA. They were shocked and sent me to a new endo. At first I was Ok with this dude. I trusted him and wanted so desperately to feel better. He put me on Toprazol and the anti-thyroid drug. And kept me on Xanax. Did appropriate blood work, so I thought.  I repeately called his office scared my heart was going to give out. Finally on one visit he said RAI was the only thing to do. I knew surgery was an option - but he poo-pooed that. "TRUST" ing him I allowed RAI. in Jan '04 ( 2 days after my dad died) I had reservation to go through with it when they pushed that paper in front of me to release them of all liability after I take it - "TRUST" ing again I went through it. My throat ached 2 hrs after I did it. I felt so bad after RAI i can't explain it. I was nuked!!!  Immediately I felt something was stuck in throat which has never gone away.

During this time I had the "cadillac" of medical insurance. So any physician was "happy" to see me. Immediately I was started on .25 Synthroid after RAI.  I constantly felt bad and repeately went to see this endo letting him know. Along with going to the ER at least once a month feeling like I was dying. My throat was swollen and as the months went by, I spiraled down hill. Gaining weight - exhausted hair falling out,  slow ---slow pulse. shallow breathing and just plain sick. I begged him and anyone who would listen to help me.

Maybe two blood tests were ran in that year and I was missing work "that gave me that "cadilliac" insurance quite regularly. Between him and my PA now.... (the MD was to busy to see me) I was told I was depressed and was advised I needed to seek therapy. So I went for counseling. Yep ......... diagnoises:  I was over stressed, I had a bad childhood and Oh yeah.... a bad marriage!! XAnax XANAX XANAX was to be my best friend!!  

My last visit with my endo was not pleasant. I became quite irritated I wasn't feeling good and "not functioning" I couldn't even move. My husband had to almost carry me in there. I put on 45 pounds and barely ate. I was in and out of the ER with no help. My body ached and I felt like I was already dead. Still on .25 Synthroid. I "demanded" him to help me now.

For the first time he brought my chart in and looked it over. As he looked at it he stated" We'll, I don't understand why YOU wanted RAI to begin with, your tests were coming down great without it!        " ME WANTING IT!!!         I wanted to kill him. With every bit of energy I had, I screamed at him to make me feel better right now! He increased my Synthroid to .50 and stated "Maybe you have a BRAIN ANYRUSM!! " He wrote his Rx to have a brain scan in 3 WEEKS!!........ and dismissed me and my husband. I am sure after he left the room he jotted a few "crazy words" in my chart as well.

We left that office and went right to the ER demanding the head scan. Negitive thank God. Now my PA was all I had left. Oh yeah and my shrink. I struggled with him and he was trying to help -- but I do not think he had the resources or experience with a "case head" I was becoming in the medical community. He was a pill pusher and I swear I had 15 Rx's at that time. Acid meds IBS meds. Xanax, sleep aids, nausea meds to name a few.  I ended up on .112 Synthroid from .50 that whole time I stayed with that PA office.

Finally I spiraled to a near thyroid coma. Lost the "cadilliac insurance" job in 2005 and felt doomed. Amazing, when the gold seal is no longer on your insurance card - you seem to loose your "status quo". This is when my search started on my own. I became an internet geek searching for help.

I found another MD with no PA assistance in October 2007. He found obviously that I was not healthy and to top it off, I was allergic to the Red dye in the Synthroid. Also, he believed I was not absorbing the T4 or converting it into the T3 as I should. Of course I already spectulated that due to my search on the internet. That is why no matter how much Synthroid I took I never felt better. I suggested Armour and he agreed. It has been better. I am pleased so far with my results. He is through and dedicated to his patients. If your in Wisconsin I'll share his info.

I got a similiar job that I had which I loved. The insurance is very good but not what the previous job had. I am reluctant having that trust issue since the he// I went through with other doctors - but I need to get over that. Oh and I have kicked the counselor to the curb also. That bad marriage and family depression seems to have dissappeared.

I still have a long way to feeling better, I have my days where I still feel getting up is like a marathon, but my faith has been a little restored with the care I am recieving now. I am scared this will kill me. By nature I am a worrier - but it was always about someone else. Now I worry I will never have the stamina I did.  I have so many unanswered questions on my future - but being here in this forum has given me a better outlook which should help anyone feel better. Right?? I have met some very intelligent and caring people here who can relate to my illness and above all. I feel I have the security that if I don't understand something that comes up with me, I don't have to go into it "blind" any longer :-)

In a very sick way I am happy I had this happen to me. It has taught me to see things in a better light and to not take things for granted in this crazy world we make it to be. It has slowed me down to appreciate the little things and to most importantly - take time for myself.  I am honored to get to know each member here on this forum.

MORAL : Educate yourself before you make a life change on your health. Don't be like me and just say OK without a solid belief and knowledge you are doing what's best for you. Remember: it is called a medical "practice" for a reason.