Loneliness

you r not alone so stop thinking like that, if you need to vent or just want to talk i will be here anytime an i'm sure they are plenty others that would to . hows your soreness from the wreck getting better i hope

the soreness from the wreck is getting better...a lot better...it s my emotions that are all out of whack :'(

emotion  is a hard one to fix it takes alot of time, you have to consider it took a while for your emotions to get to where they are an its no quick fix to make them right again.However If u want to get better u can and will,their are those that will support you any way that they can. I will d whatevewr i can from here for you, try not to think about being alone only by yoiurself for awhile, clear your head and get a game plan you can do it i assure u. I will be thinking about yu  so if you need just holler

unfortuntaly i know what you mean about feeling lonely, even in a crowded room i feel alone have for years now and definetly about wanting to be loved. Ive been in a few relationships when i was 20 and for me the thing i always missed the most was being able to wrap my arms around someone special even if its just to feel their heart beat. Mine never seem to last either usually at about 6 months or so they always seem to run off, or have gotten whatever it is that they want out of me (joys of being too soft, people usually try to use me and in most instances in relationships they get away with it).

just as my last g/f did i pretty much did everything in her home laundry, dishes, the floors, pretty much any and every type of cleaning in the home, i was the reason she got full custody of her youngest daughter 2 weeks later she told me i did nothing in the house was a lazy ******* and just kept on going with the insults which just made me feel even lower than usual. the only thing that keeps me going is that tiny bit of hope that there is somone who can love me for me, respect me as i do them, not try to use me, and return the love that i feel for them. i doubt it will happen but who knows what may happen tommorow.

and just to give you an idea of how low i had gotten when i was only 20 when i wrote this and this was one of my better days back then luckily things are getting better. sorry this if this message is a bit too long and if you ever need to talk feel free to message me.

Dreams...

I'm beginning to think its time to escape, to be free in my dreams once more.
To remember what it is like to smile, to laugh, to love and to be loved.
To feel the heart of the one you love beating against your own and know you are not alone.
To share everything that you are with someone and know that they will accept you.

Now.
I feel trapped in a dark room alone.
I feel scared, cold, forgotten.
Knowing that the only relief I will have is my own death.
The day will come when I will leap into the abyss and be at peace.
I will not be judged when I die, I will not see the gates of heaven nor the depths of hell.
I will just cease to be, no more fear, no more tears, no longer worrying about being alone.
Peace will come, soon......