Today was okay I guess. I've been really really depressed lately. Megan came back into my life and I was absolutely elated......then I made her a youtube video and things just turned all around. Supposedly her ex got ahold of it and contacted CPS and a bunch of other garbage, and anyway I got deleted from her myspace once again and she hasn't been talking to me on yahoo messenger either. Its really depressing. I totally allowed myself to be vulnerable. I lent her some money for her rent and I felt happy that I could help. Then today Carly contacted me and wanted to know if I could help her pay her bills and Keirsha needs help too. I want to help everyone....those that I call "my girls," but I just can't afford all of them. I really can't solve Carly's money problems as much I really really want to. She needs like $1,000. :( She helped me with my credit card when I needed it and I just wish I could help her now when she needs it. I've been crying all week and drunk everynight after work....just felt overwhelmed with the sadness. Today I'm not crying. I just feel very lonely and I'm trying really really hard not to focus on any of the situations I mentioned above. I'm trying to focus on getting myself excited about starting school again in the spring.
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