and the walls, come tumbling down...along with the tears...

Awww, Rena.  You've had too darned much dumped on you.  Give the doggie a good hug and get some licks.  I moved away from my friends of 20+ years, and I'm having trouble getting new ones, too.  I'm getting some girlfriends because I'm in a Sweet Adelines chorus, but hubby and I aren't getting any new couple-friends. And I never see the ladies outside of chorus rehearsals and performances.

Do you have transportation to get to someplace sociable?  It's hard to think about while you're so down, but there's a cliche about helping others being very good medicine for your own depression.  I don't know what your situation is at all, but if it's possible for you to do some sort of charitable activity, it might help.

Maybe you should rent a boatload of comedy DVDs and watch them one after the other while eating ice cream.  And bonbons.

wait a minute, missy! did you just say "no friends"??? and what are we supposed to be? dog poo?? *spit*
listen, and listen (actually read) very carefully: we're all here for every one in this forum. So you need to talk about the weather or about the puppy peeing on your shoes? go ahead.
Listen, i'm thousand of miles away from my beloved boyfriend, we want to get married, but since he's British, he can't just get me living in the US just like that. Plus, i need to finish my MBA and with this lovely MS and the fact that i destroyed my car, i still have a long ways to go. And i miss him. I miss him very much. I wish i were as lucky as you are, since your hubby comes home every day. I cry my eyes off because i miss my boyfriend so much. You have no idea how blessed you are. Just grab that puppy, play with him and realize the wonders of the L-ord, and when hubby comes back, give him a very big hug and tell him you love him and miss him.
We're always here. You know i'm always here. Here, i just bought a new box of Kleenex, with aloe! so soft!
You're not selfish, you're just like the one and only Miss Bah-bra "a woman in love".
xoxoxo
Farrah

So sorry to hear how  miserable you are feeling.  Are you aware there is several on line organiztions that help with depression, isolation, ect.  I believe if you look under depression you will find several sites for more information and free resources you can download.  I hope you are able to find the felp you need.  Will say a pray. Stubbie226

I know exactly how you feel, Rena.  I haven't gone through some of the frustrations you have, but have had quite a few myself.

I don't have any friends around here either, I mainly just got so caught up with raising my kids that I didn't have time for friends.  I was a single mom for 6 years before Sammy and I married.  Then the kids were old enough to start all their activities and that kept me busy.  So at 53, I have a couple of friends that I talk to on the phone or email every couple of months but that's it.

Before my family finally accepted that something was wrong with me, I felt completely alone, except when I came on the forum with my family here.  I struggled and still do at times, with really deep depression.  Like you, when I'm like this all I can do is cry or at times I get really irritable.

I can say that now I have one of the best friends ever and I met her here on this forum.  I don't think about not having close friends around me anymore, because she is always here for me with love, support and a kick in the hinny when I need it.  She is a forever friend, and I thank God for her everyday.

I also thank God for all my other friends here, you included.  I don't know where I would be today if I hadn't had all of you to talk to.  I was a basket case when the cancer scare happened with Beth, but all my friends, including you, stepped up with your love and support and have gotten me through it.  Still haven't gotten any results from the biopsy, so all of you might have to hold me up again.

You are never alone, sweetheart, it just feels that way sometime.  I know everyone here loves you and couldn't make it without you.  You are always reaching out to help and support everyone on this board.  I am sure you have been a God send to many.

I believe you are a very, very special lady and that things are going to get better for you.  Maybe getting treatment for your depression and talking to someone about how you feel, will be the big difference.  I think that when you explain why you are depressed.....dx with MS and can't get treatment......that this dr will step up and fix that problem for you.  Tell the dr you will bring research with you to prove that the destruction that MS causes, never stops and that is why you are so frustrated.

Well, I've run my mouth long enough.  Wish I was there so I could give you a big huge hug.  Just know that you are special and greatly loved and respected by everyone here and we are all behind you and pulling for you to get treatment for your MS and for this depression to lessen.

Love & Majorly Huge Hugs
doni

Dear dear Rena,

If we were neighbors I would come over and sip a cup of coffee or chug a beer with you.  Since we're really separated  by thousands of miles that won't work, but we certainly can spend time together in other ways here.  

I have done that cry until I can cry no more thing - it was over my heart issues and before MS - but I thought if this is what depression feels like, I got it bad.  It took 3-4 days to really lift.  I actually ended up in the ER at the end of this with chest pains, my heart was breaking so bad (or the MS hug was imposing!) I think back to when that happened this spring and realize it was a very healing thing to allow myself to do.  I needed to cry, to grieve, to rage, and that time gave me the opportunity to get it out.  Perhaps your blue day is like that as well?  

As women and mothers we spend so much time stuffing our emotions in, worrying about making everyone around us happy and ignoring ourselves.  Even with the MS most of us still worry more about others than ourselves.  Well Rena, every once in a while it is ok to forget all of them and think and feel for ourselves.  I hope this rambling makes some sense.


Enjoy this special day - I hear its your Birthday!!! And a holiday weekend in Canada - so enjoy both.  

Hugs and warm thoughts to you,
Lulu

my sweet friend , i feel the same way as yuo, i have  ,friends but they can walk and dance do thibgs go in the malls , etc,,,me i can,t for i have to much pains and then i run out off breathe and my joints pains well thats hell too and the skin on me is burrning like as if it was leraly on firer,,,so i too stay alone at home , and my on line friends is the best thing i have and my 2 dogs , hon if u need one other friend , i would love to be one i from bathurst ,new-brunswick i think it aint far from where u live,,,
and god knows , our similarities is there maybe 4 and reason i do have faith ,, in god,,, and , i pray for you and me ,, lol yeah i sarted to pray for me ,,at last loll
though it would be to selfish if i,d pray for me ,loll hahah well god blessed u and i hope that , things go much beter 4 you,,, rita,g xoxooxoxoxotake care off u firsth ,,,