Jan 04, 2012
Each year I make a new commitment to "fix what is broken" in so I mean doing some much needed renovations. I start and then I stop. So soon comes the depression, the tears, the excuses and the hurting. It is frustrating that I always end up putting off what means the most to me which is being happy and filled in my life. I have done some things out of my comfort zone in 2011 and while some may see it as me enjoying my life, inside I am not sure if its that or a recipe for disaster. I have no idea on how to feel. One thing I know for sure and its that I am bi. Its a little confusing as I am not sure I need to put a label on what I am. I like to think I am just "open" to whoever I deem as being right for me.
My actions in 2011 may end up hurting me this year and so I would like to at least lighten the impact by getting to an emotionally healthier place. I would hate to start cutting and harming myself again, just the thought of going back to that place scares me in the worse way. But I must be true and commend myself on at least being a better me this year. I am proud of my accomplishments, I have made myself understand plenty about life and have smiled at the storm more often than I was able to do so in the past.