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Bad Day

Oct 13, 2008 12:00AM - 2 comments

Okay, this has become a bad day. I discpvered last night that I missed a big assignment due last week. The teacher said doing it now was okay. I told her I would do it today.
Instead of starting it last night, I planned to ddo it today - early.  But I didn't go to bed early - I just kept postponing it.

There is a portion of this that I'm actually scared to do because I think my work will be embarrassingly s****y.

So today I did get out of bed at a good time, but I sat down to watch TV for "a while."  This turned into a long while and I became tired and slow like a sinking stone.  I fought the feeling for a short while, but then gave in and went back to bed.  (Of course, telling myself that I'd wake up refreshed).

Now I am up and the day is almost gone.  And I am postponing this again by writing here.

I have always avoided things even though I've been in therapy forever trying to work on these feelings.  I need to keep working on it.  I have been going to bed after work every day for weeks now.

I think I have been avoiding the reality of my terribly dirty and messed up house. My depression has made it impossible to think creatively about this.

But yesterday I had good day and did some stuff and felt better.

But today I botched it all.

Maybe I'm too sensitive to to these things.  I so want to be Normal. And I know that is a loaded word around here, but that's how I feel.
Big Time.

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by PenelopeAnn, Oct 13, 2008 07:32PM
I've been in a similar situation and I always do feel better if I focus first on the immediate environment that is really bothering me. Is it my computer area? The bathroom? Deal with that, then I can move on, otherwise I stay stuck. It is hard to motivate to do any little thing when you are depressed, much less clean a house. What about focusing on the area around where you work? Try cleaning that, do your task, then worry about the rest of the place.

by RJ233, Oct 14, 2008 12:17AM
Lizz, I hope you have gotten your paper done. What makes you think your paper is going to be bad? Your paper is going to be just as good or better than anyone else's. That is Mr Depression talking, not you and you know he lies.

Get one of those things you can punch with your fist. Name it Mr Depression and write it in magic marker where you can see it while you beat the living hell out of him!!! He lies to you, steals from you, hurts you in every way he can. Let him have it good. Every time you think about him, go beat him out of your system and he hurts instead of you. Give him a few punches for the rest of us too. After that, you might have to get another one to beat the daylights out of cause that is a lot of beating!! You are going to win that fight!!! Kick Butt!!! Sometimes, getting physical and hitting the problem head on gives you some relief and control. You are taking what you can't see and putting it where you can and attack back.

Turn on some up beat music. Let it soak into your bones and lift your spirits! Now you can whip anything! You have a lot of friends here that want to help you through this. You are there for us. You have strength that you don't see in your self. It is there, you just need to dig it out.

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