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Chapter 4 - continuing on the road to baby making...

Oct 14, 2008 - 0 comments
Tags:

Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

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clinical depression

,

negative behavior

,

sick of being miserable

,

miserable



Today is the first day I feel better, and by better I mean that I feel like my miserable self...  So in all that is good, because I have had the worst four days in a very long time.

I saw a Naturopath and I'm taking a heap of herbs, so now I rattle when I walk with all the tablets I'm taking.  And the stuff I have to drink and drip is AWFUL!  But I'm really hoping that it is starting to work, which is hopefully why I am feeling better today.

Now with the IVF treatment...  So for, maybe only the 3rd time since I started my period when I was 13, I am late.  The nurses said that the nasal spray can delay a period for up to a week.  So I was due last Friday.  I hope to get it really soon as I can't go back until I get it now.  I went for a blood test today and they said the levels still needed to go down and will as soon as I get my period...  So now I wait for a period!  Can you believe this!!!???

I'm trying not to be concerned about my period and everything, I'm almost at a point where I feel like giving up.  So I'm really just going through the motions...  They, (who ever "they" are) say that the most common thing is when women give up on getting pregnant (they just get over it) and then they get pregnant.  Well maybe, we'll see...  I just think it's not going to happen until it happens and maybe I'll be 40 by the time that happens, but if that they way it's meant to be there is nothing I can do about that is there.  Well I guess I'll be miserable in the meantime...

Listen to the misery in my voice...?  I'm so ready to expect the worst - but I think that is part of my Clinical Depression, which now according to the Naturopath could actually by Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  Can you believe this, I certainly can't - I'M FREAKIN' BROKEN!!!! AGHHHH!!!!!!!

I really need to kick this misery in the pants.

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