Tomorrow

So tomorrow I have an apt with my hematologist.  I know he is going to put me on x-jade (ex-jade?) so we can finally strip the rest of the iron out of my body (from all of the transfusions).  Not looking forward really to being on that drug, it has some pretty severe side effects for some people but is supposed to at least be better than the drug they used to use.

Also, he'll schedule a bone marrow biopsy to try to figure out what's going on with my anemia.  I hope he can find an actual vein to get blood tomorrow.  I tried to get a count today and they couldn't find a vein (which didn't stop them from treating me like a pincushion in the attempt to get one).  Yesterday it took them an hour and twelve sticks, including my feet, and they couldn't find a vein for the IV.  Finally I started crying and just said, use my neck.  They did and it worked great.  I'll make them go there first next time I need an IV.

My mom finally called me tonight and we've worked things out and my family is now talking to me again.  So that's good.  I really missed them and was having a lot of difficulty with not having them in my life for two or three weeks.  

I have not really gotten my sales stream going again since being on treatment and I have never been this destitute.  I am so afraid of what's going to happen (or not happen) financially.  I may need to just find ANY type of other employment for a while until I get going again but I don't even know where to look since its been so long since I did anything but contract work.  Anyway, really just using this journal to put down everything that's happening since after all, it IS my journal.