Feb 09, 2012
Today I saw the psychiatrist for the first time ever. He asked me an endless amount of questions. All the shameful things about my past. How I came to almost killing myself. Things I told the nurses at the ER and the ICU. Things I've told Doug from Health and Welfare. Things I tell Joan (my new counselor) and try to tell my parents and Morgan. Even if they do listen, they don't understand. Not the Borderline stuff at least.
The Dr. told me that he thought meds might help me. And gave me a percription. I'm so nervous and terrified. I can feel it traveling through me like it's in my blood, the fear. I can't handle it. I'd scheduled today to be a really busy day with this appointment in the morning, school, viewing apartments right after and work right after that. I feel soooo exhausted and down and tired that all I want to do is sleep. I know I can't sleep my problems away. But that's all my body wants to do right now. Sleep and cry.