Feb 23, 2012
On Sunday I will be one month post op. Part of me feels like it's been much longer, while part of me feels like it just happened yesterday. And, there is another part of me that feels like the whole thing was just one big dream...
I think the last part is because of how well it went. I had anticipated a longer hospital stay, more pain over a longer time, a longer time out of work, and more time in bed. As much as I am glad for how things did go, I think I probably jumped the gun in going back to work when I did. This is my second week back and my fatigue level when I get done for the day is very high. I also am having a lot of pain and tugging where the incision is from looking up at the computer, looking down at my desk, typing etc. Fortunately I have the option to work at home, which I intend to do tomorrow.
It's not easy to explain all of this to colleagues, because they see me every day and assume I must be done healing if I am here. Had I been at my job longer when this happened I would have taken more time, but couldn't afford to.
If I sound like I am complaining I don't mean to. I know how lucky I was in the surgery...maybe this is a little post traumatic stress creeping in. I feel like I haven't truly had time to "process" all that has happpened since I was finally confirned to have Chiari. I also feel sometimes that the people around me think that I should just be grateful for how things went and move on...and see my surgery as having cured me once and for all, when all of us know that is not the case.
Thank heaven for this forum and website. Having a place to express some of these feelings is a big help.