Last night I was actually able to sleep .. and slept in! It was nice to finally get some rest! Before I wasn't able to sleep because of my anxiety. I think my higher dose of effexor is helping some. I am still having some anxiety. I was able to go to my doc's office without a panic attack this time. My OB is going to let me stay on my anxiety med's and same blood pressure medicine so that relieves some of my worry. He is also going to see me every two weeks and ultrasound is going to be seeing me the opposite weeks. So they will keep track of me and the babies and the cerclage. Might ease my mind to be seen weekly.
I tried to confront my fear of the hospital and labor and delivery floor but we got in the elevator and got to the floor and I got scared and had to go back down then the elevator went to all sorts of floors and let us off on the wrong one and we got lost .. I began to panic but we found our way back down and to the lobby. We sat and relaxed for a bit and then tried again. I did make it to the floor got off the elevator and stepped a few steps then we grabbed another elevator and came back down. So it is an accomplishment that I did try and did not give up .. BUT the whole time I felt anxious and light headed and like my legs were jello! For about an hour after I still felt anxious. Now its getting late and just thinking about the hospital is making me anxious again. I must overcome this fear! I will be having twins in a few months and will HAVE TO be in the hospital for several days!!! UGGGG
I have a therapy appointment thursday for the first time with a new therapist I am hoping I can get some serious help and fast!
These fears phobia's and anxieties can't win!!!!