miracles do happen:

well i think that me being clean is a miracle, But also kicking the little devil pills in the *** out tha door and down the road has been by far one of the hardest things i have done. I'm not gonna sugar coat anything i feel right now.. And just put it straight, yeah some say that you should always think positive As God knows that i have been trying through and through, That isn't so easy for others .. And i think sometime just sometimes we have to let those people that are feeling bad,anxiety,panic,even happy we should let them feel it .. It is a process of healing..  But i also have to say we shouldn't wallow in our own ****, feeling sorry for ourselves as that isn't gonna help a thing..  be open to the healing process and be willing to let it elude us..  i'm not gonna set here and tell anyone that getting clean is easy , Because it's not it's actually hell on earth, And can literally torment us from the inside out..  And feel like we are losing our minds..  But the fact of the matter is that we worry way to much of how bad it will hurt when we do finally come off them and what the w/d's will do to our lives but those are only TEMPORARY and they will go away...   So stop thinking of the What if's and start looking at the possibilities .. When you get off them you will start to feel so much better.. And stop thinking what your gonna do while in detox but rather think of what were gonna do to keep ourselves clean..  Cause that is where the real work begins .. That is no easy task as i am finding , But it's not impossible..  so that is just a little of how i am feeling ..  And if i put all of what i am feeling i would be writing for days lol  Good luck to all and God bless each and everyone of you on your journey we are all special in our ways and we all can do this ..