Mar 12, 2012
So I'm a little late posting this, but that's okay.
As of January 9th this year it has been two years since I started having panic attacks and suffering with anxiety. Two years, but it sometimes feels like it's a lifetime later, or that it never even happened.
When I first was suffering I came on this site everyday, multiple times a day, and asked every question under the sun.
Was I going crazy? Was I going to die? Was this thought or that thought normal? I'm shaking internally, is that a symptom? What about meds? Will I get addicted, or what if they don't work? Will I ever be normal again?
And my biggest question was always, is there a cure, or is this forever? I wanted to hear that of course there's a cure.
I never heard that, and it made me miserable. Now I see there was no reason to feel that way.
Will I always have anxiety? Yes, I will. But honestly I do feel cured 99.9% of the time.
So it does get better. I do still have small panic attacks once in a while, but it's nothing like it was, and it's nothing that I can't manage.
In two years I've gone from not being able to leave my mom's house, to working full time, taking numerous road trips, and even flying again on vacation. I haven't taken an ativan in over a year, and I have stopped spending hours on the computer googling various ailments. There are small victories too, like being able to go to sleep without the tv on. Actually sleeping at all became quite an accomplishment.
I went from being completely hopeless two years ago to being "normal". I go to work, I hang out with friends, I drive out of town, I take zumba classes, and I rarely if ever think about anxiety.
I also know though that it's still there, off in the background, and it could pop up again at some point. It just hasn't, and that's great. And even if it does, I know now that I can handle it.
My main point is IT DOES GET BETTER. You will get better, and things will be okay.