My Story :(

I am 19 and i also have only recently experienced anxiety, 2 months ago i was driving with my partner and my brothers when i felt a wave of fear, i just thought i was being silly and tried to shake it off, it just got worse, i stopped the car and jumped out, my face was hot but my feet and hands were cold, my heart was racing and everything felt surreal, i had no idea what to do or what was happening to me, i honestly thought i was going to die i have never been more scared in my life.
My partner had to drive us home as soon as we pulled up in the driveway i ran inside and sat on the lounge, i now had pins and needles and felt like i couldnt breathe, i was so weak. I called the hospital they advised me to attend the er. I made my partner (with a suspended license) drive me to the hospital (i know not the smartest thing to do, but he was the only other experienced driver). I was so scared, thinking the worse, i finally got to see a nurse who calmed me down, took my blood pressure which was normal and was informed i had just had a panic attack. Worst experience of my life.

From that night nothing has been the same, i always feel scared and weak.
Everyday since then i was having atleast 1 panic attack a day (usually occuring at night, or when driving). I am currently staying at my mums as i fear going home :/ because my mum has suffered anxiety she understands and i feel safe here with her. Although i feel like a sook. Naturally i tried to avoid driving or leaving the house at all, which failed because the longer i sat home the worse and more freqent the attacks became. One day i decided bugger it i am going to have a panic attack whether i leave the house or not, so i went out. It was hard but had to be done. A few times i had an attack while out in public, no one noticed and once the initial fear passed i was fine.

I haven't tried anything for my anxiety really, apart from slow deep breathing and trying to keep myself occupied and live my life, sometimes it's easier said than done, some days i dont want to wake up i just want to sleep the day away hoping i'll feel better the next day. The only tests i have had done is a ECG, which was normal. I too refuse to take medication.

It has been a week since my last bad panic attack. I have had a few little one's but managed to overcome them. Last night however, i started feeling really dizzy out of nowhere, then came nausea, then fear, tears, restlessness, surprisingly though not a panic attack.

I still feel dizzy and scared now, but we have to tell ourselves that we will be okay, that it is just anxiety/panic disorder.
it's so hard to believe that it is just anxiety, as it causes us to worry, we instantly think the worst. I try and tell myself if it was anything else and something was going to happen to me it would have already happened.



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