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Tramadol & Ultram Recovery Room Part 52

Apr 19, 2012 - 246 comments
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Hi Tramadol Warriors!

A new thread.

New Day.

New chance to take your life back.

Welcome ....

Love and Healing,
Emily

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by DamTram, Apr 19, 2012
1400 days, Emily!! Wow! Thank you for continuing to inspire us. =)

I am creating a database that's using coding from a major metropolitan school system and I discovered something interesting for suspension types.  Obviously, there's coding for selling or attempting to sell a controlled substance.  THEN, there's an entirely separate code for selling or attempting to sell Soma!  This is a drug that's still available to anyone, online, with a credit card.  I hope there never has to be a code for Tramadol.  I hope it becomes a flippin controlled substance EVERYWHERE.  The children. =(

On a positive note, I have lost 9 pounds from cutting out wheat/sugars! If you'd told me this two months ago, I wouldn't have believe you.

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by beave83, Apr 19, 2012
I've never posted to a site like this, but I was prescribed tramadol about 14 months ago for back/neck pain.  It helped with the discomfort, but really I've continued to use it (about 3-4 50mg tabs/day) because it helped with pain and just made me feel better.  Today, I went to the doc and they said I should stop.  I've been feeling pretty lousy today, stomach pain, diarhea...  just uneasy.  No appetite.  Then I wen to the internet and found out how many people have been dealing wit hthe same thing!  It's pretty scary though.  So, my last pill was April 18th in the morning.  Today is worse than yesterday.
I'm surprised the doc didn't say I should wean off the drug.  I'm going to call tomorrow to see if I can get some to wean off.  I see horrible withdrawal stories of people going cold turkey.
Just like everyone else, last year I was told this was a non-addictive drug.  I believed them, but i continued to use it eventhough I didn't really need to.
Any thoughts or advice would be much appreciated!  Thanks.

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by Aeiko, Apr 20, 2012
Wow Emily, 1400 days?  Simply Amazing.

I'm still alive and kicking (willfully):P

It's amazing the changes that have occurred to me in the past 10-11 days.   It was rough in the beginning, but now I've been getting a lot of compliments on how much my personality has improved.  Apparently I'm more energetic, outgoing, social, and eating a lot better.  It was a much needed ego boost that well help bolster my full recovery and success.

I was thinking the other day.  Why isn't there a Non-Profit Organization that deals with helping people get clean from Tramadol, and to pass laws so these types of medication are scheduled like they should be?  It's definitely something to think about.

I hope every one is hanging in there and staying strong!

Until next time!  Take care!


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by Ptowngirl, Apr 20, 2012
Oh depression how I have missed you - said NO ONE EVER!! Goodness it is a good thing I was in a good mental place before getting off the tramadol because the last few days have kind of stunk. On a good note - I have not had to take the klonopin the last couple of days but I really wish the rain would let up so I can get out!!! I may just go enjoy the liquid sunshine because that has been the one thing that makes me really feel better!! I did however get a call from a neurosurgeon at the University around here that is willing to take on my case so hopefully I can get the back issue fixed and get back to my old self again - haha but I have an 8 day trip tp Disneyland to get through and we are just finalizing papers on a new house which means moving before that happens... May is going to be a loooong month and I hope one with no flare ups.

Happy to see new faces (so to speak). Beave83 - it is hard, no doubt about it. The creepy crawly feeling for me was the worst. I used some Gabapentin I had left because I remember it was a nerve blocker and it made sense to me that my nerves were causing the sensation. If you happen to have it (many people get it for back pain) I would try 2 and see if it resides a bit. I had to call my doctor and just be honest with her about what was happening to me. She prescribed a small amount of the klonopin and that helped get through the first week - it is SO much better after that. Vitamin B helps (I use 6 & 12) but read back through the posts there is a ton of helpful things like the magnesium, Kava Kava Root, hot showers or baths and I have even read an increase in coffee can help. Hang in there! It will get better!!

Aeiko you are doing so well! <3 It is pretty amazing to be able to find yourself again huh?

DamTram - I agree! It should be class II at a minimum!! And nice work on the sugars :) I googled how sugar is made and it is the absolute most disgusting thing (haha aside from tram) that you can put in your body. YUCK! Good job kicking it out too!

Emily - thank you. You have provided such a great outlet for those of us willing to change!

Keep up the fight - find the good in every day!

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by Sarabie, Apr 20, 2012
Ptowngirl - the depression will go away again.  It's unfortuantely another wd symptom. I was lucky and made it through without depression, but I had/have a lot of good things going on in my life which made it easier. Also I've been wondering if there's a slight difference in the tramadol made for US and the ones for Europe/Denmark. Cause I had the same symptoms like the rest of you great guys, but no depression and no brain zaps. I know from some of the other tramwarriors that tram bought of the internet is filled with pcp and other dangerous stuff. But you got yours from the doctor right? Anyways, you are doing so great and I'm convinced you'll beat the depression too.

My knee is doing better. I've got 4 orders for paintings, so I'm just relaxing, painting and watching tv, reading E-books and stuffing myself with healthy foods and unhealthy snacks :-)

Love to All of you, Susie

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by Aeiko, Apr 20, 2012
Tramadol is a funny drug.  I've been clean now for over a week.  And I have felt great, however, today... Not so much :P  I thought I was out of the woods, but apparently that's not the case.  I stopped taking the Klonopin because I don't need it.  My only issue now (especially today) is my energy.  It violently fluctuates.  I've felt like a million dollars the past few days, but now I can barely make my bed.  How sad is that? :P  But I press on.  Failure isn't an option :)

I hope everyone is doing well.  I'm sorry if I haven't responded to anyone, but I can barely muster the energy to type this.  I believe I'm going to go lay in bed for a bit today.  I've had a busy 10 or so days and I believe I owe it to myself :P

Take care everyone.

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by gunitbot6, Apr 21, 2012
sarabie, i never experienced depression brain zaps or sneezing, and my tram came from the doctor

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by Sarabie, Apr 22, 2012
I think I missed your point gunitbot...

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by DamTram, Apr 22, 2012
I think gunit meant that he and you had similar lack of symptoms, even though he's in the states?  I'm not sure.

I think I'm getting/have the flu.  I really, really hope this isn't true.  I can't take any time off, this week.

I find out tomorrow if I have a job that will also pay tuition and fees for the next 2 years.  I'm trying to stay positive. =)

Hope everyone has been having a lovely weekend!

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by RC211V, Apr 22, 2012
Well, here it is. I was prescribed Ultram ER about 2 years ago for post-surgical chronic knee pain and had been taking 200 - 300mgs for about 1.5 years. I decided that I wanted to get off of it so with my Dr I tapered all the way down to 25mgs over about a 3 month period. I have been off of it completely for around 14 days now. Even though I tapered, I felt like sh**t and it was mostly depression than a physical, flu-like thing. But I figured that was normal. After about 5 days or so without taking it, I had a better couple days. But then on the third day, I woke up feeling really depressed again, like I was back to square one. And that's how its been going...a couple good days and then wham, outta nowhere, back down, like a roller coaster. I didn't know what to make of it becasue when I started to feel better, I assumed it would just continue upward, until I started doing some research and heard similar accounts of this up-and-down kind of deal. It seems like the better days are getting increased; I had a pretty good 4? days but then I woke up today just feeling so low. Can anyone give me an idea about when the depression will be gone? I didn't cold-turkey it and while I expected to feel some withdrawal, I didn't think it would be like this.

Thanks.

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by legaljunky, Apr 23, 2012
Hi RC211V-

Your history seems similar to mine, I was prescribed 300 mg Tram for arthritis pain for 2 1/4 years and then my Dr took me off it and I found I was in WD.  I went back on 200 mg a day and tapered slowly. My first 4 days off Tram  were HORRIBLE physically but I don't remember depression setting in right away.  It came and went throughout recovery, just like all the other symptoms.  We're all different so it's hard to predict exactly what you will go thru or how long it will take.  Just know that it gets better, keep fighting the Tramadevil!  You'll will win!  I didn't feel entirely like myself till around day 130 and with it came this sense that I could accomplish anything I set my mind to!  So powerful!

I'm on so many meds for damage done by chronic Lyme disease, including low maintenance doses of an SSRI for depression and Clonozipam for sleep.  That probably helped with my depression during WD. Other warriors have more sophisticated knowledge about Tramadevil and addiction and I read thru pages of posts to figure out what would help me.  I remember reading 5HTP helps for depression but if you take it with an SSRI it can cause Seratonin Syndrome, suicidal ideation.  So that was not for me.  This wass a tough battle but at least I knew there would be triumph at the end.

Stay strong!  We're all in this together!





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by RC211V, Apr 23, 2012
Thanks legaljunky,

Wow, 130 days eh? That's a while. These things are the devil due to the SSRI affect they have along with the opaite response. I rememer researching that before I went on them because I had never heard of Tram, but somehow I thought that I'd be OK. Basically, I just wanted to not be in pain and they worked great so I sort of ignored the warnings. But I never expected that there would be this long, drawn out, up & down rollercoaster affect. I've kicked other opiates before, some C/T but never experienced anything like this - a few days of feeling horrible and then a steady, upward improvement from there on. Sure there is the PAWS with all of them but I never really felt like I was that bad-off. Just more craving for the drug and some depression. Oh well, I guess I got another fight on my hands...won't be ther first, but I am scared because I do have responsibilites and commitments (marriage, job, etc.) that I don't want to F-up.

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by Ptowngirl, Apr 23, 2012
Well the physical issues have subsided pretty well but this **** poor attitude is really taking its toll. RC211V, hang in there and welcome to this place of healing.
Aeiko, I was beginning to think you were Superman getting through this so well. Not that I am happy you are having issues but it is clear we all have different struggles. May yours be short lived - my bed hasn't been made in 2 weeks. Pretty sure my family thinks I have crossed to the dark side.
The headaches are kicking my booty - the pollen has been horrible lately so that may be playing a role but I am really looking forward to the upside to all this BS.
Sarabie, so glad you are getting better!! And yes, mine came from the doctor and the pharmacy - a real one but it was a Wal-Mart so you never know what might be in there! Just kidding (kind of).
What I wouldn't give for an ounce of patience and a good nights sleep.... there is always tomorrow I guess!

It can only get better from here!  


Avatar_m_tn
by RC211V, Apr 24, 2012
Well, I must've been more out of it than I realized because I just now figured out that I have only been off of Tramadol for 9 days, not the original 14 days I thought. So I guess that's good news in a way that I am feeloing the way I am since it's still "early". Yet I have C/T'd true opiates that took less time than this. I walked around all day today feeling like I only slept for two hours last night even though I slept well. I found these things at Target called "Dream Water". Anyone ever heard of them? They have some of the stuff I've heard people talking about on this forum that help them. They seemed to work pretty good. That and a couple clonodines that the Dr prescribed me. But even though I slept, I still feel out of it and really down. I just have to keep telling myself that I'm going to eventually get out of this on the other side and feel better and that I won't have that horrible fear that I always had that somehow I wouldn't get my script filled one day(had to get a new one every 30 days) and that I'd have to C/T the Tram. It was just a matter of time before that happened, I believe as my Dr was sort of flakey and the pharm would sometimes run out and have to order it.

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by DamTram, Apr 26, 2012
Still kickin, here.  Did not get the job that would've paid for school.  Woke up with the deepest, darkest depression yesterday morning.  Somehow made it to school, and felt better once I was around people.  Except for the girl typing a paper, feverishly, in the middle of class.  I started to panic, since the professor had organized us and I wasn't allowed to move to the other side of the room where the was a quiet, open seat.  I finally waited for a break and asked if I could move.  He was really confused, and I was really embarrassed.  But after I moved, I was fine.  I broke down at the psychologist on Tuesday, and he got me an emergency meeting to see the psychiatrist.  He balked when he asked what mood stabilizers I was on and I reminded him that I wasn't on any.  I guess I need anti-depressants.  But I don't even know if I can take them, because of my liver.  I'll find out on Tuesday.

At least I'm not turning to Tramadol!

Hope all is well.

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by denised1982, Apr 26, 2012
Hey everyone, I'm still alive..
Glad to see some new faces. I'm happy that people have decided to kick this crazy drug..
I've been stressed out lately with life in general. I took myself off of my Celexa, and then realized that may have not been the right thing to do, I had a meltdown and just went nuts screaming and throwing things... It's been a while since I had an outburst like that, I've been feeling sad, and I don't want to live this life anymore. I want to change, but I'm comfortably uncomfortable being the way I am, like, I'm too lazy to do anything about it. I'm scared to change, too. I don't know. I'm f-ed up. I guess I can try to change some things and if I don't like it, I can always go back to my old self, but I'm such a friggin mess that I really don't know where to start. I guess maybe with my attitude. Blah.. I'm so tired today. I worked all night last night and I haven't been to bed yet and it's almost 5 pm. So, I guess you could say that I have been exhausted lately, that might be why I have been acting so erratic (along with my d/c of Celexa).. I haven't been sleeping all that great, wake up several times throughout the day (because I work nights) and when I wake up I feel like a big fat ****. Yep. Good times. Today I have been cleaning up the apartment and catching up all the laundry and I didn't want to go to sleep before getting all this stuff finished because I didn't want to wake up to doing work. I want to chill and not look at a mess or a pile of laundry. Anyway, just checking in. I feel kinda "ugh" but hopefully because I'm just tired. I kinda wanna see my ticker, too. If this post doesn't make sense, forgive me, I'm delirious.

Love,

Denise

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by RC211V, Apr 27, 2012
DamTram, sorry to hear about your depression. But let me ask you, is that still w/d from the tramadol? If so, after 139 days, the depression is still going on, then that is aweful. I'm actually getting more depressed reading these posts. To think that 4 - 5 months off of this stuff I'm still going to have this aweful depression is damn scarey.

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by DamTram, Apr 27, 2012
RC - I've said a few times, there are many reasons that we become addicted to Tramadol, but one of them is depression.  Once you withdraw from Tramadol, you have to deal with all of the life, chemical, personal issues that existed before Tramadol and that were covered up (and probably made worse) by Tramadol.  I was extremely depressed before Tramadol, and have been put on and tapered off so many medications since then.  I am dealing with all kinds of imbalances, but I'm also dealing with all of the other issues (pain, lack of coping skills, anxiety, etc.) that turned prescribed Tramadol use into Tramadol abuse.

So, depending on you mental health status throughout your life BEFORE Tramadol, yes, you may be dealing with depression and anxiety for a long time...just like everyone else who was never addicted to Tramadol, but suffers from major depression and/or anxiety.  If Tramadol is causally linked to my depression or anxiety in any way, it would be that it ruined any progress I'd made in personal development and coping.  If anything, it set me back years in feeling okay about myself.

But, no.  Tramadol does not CAUSE depression and anxiety, biochemically, 4 months out.

But you're right.  The posts here are not always positive.   This is also a safe place for us to come, for as long as we need to, in our recovery.  Every day, for me at least, is still a fight to not turn around and order more Tramadol and numb myself.  Being able to come here and share the struggles of picking up the pieces left by Tramaggedon, to get support and empathy and sympathy from others who understand, is what keeps me supported and accountable and NOT turning around.  So, if it bothers you, I can't really apologize...but I hope you can still be a part of our supportive community.

Denise, one step at a time.  Attitude is kind of nebulous - how about a behavior?  Choose ONE thing that you would like to do differently, and just focus on that.  I know you like to tackle everything at once, but no one can be successful at changing everything at once.  Then we just end up feeling worse, but we shouldn't.  We just need to tackle one thing at a time.  Right now, the only thing that I can focus on is getting out of bed everyday and getting myself to school.  It's been very difficult, but I feel successful for every day that I don't "e-mail in" sick.  Start small - it will lift your spirits.  I'm not saying I'm not miserably depressed, but I am saying that I've found a way to feel good about myself each day.  You know?  I hope you've gotten some sleep.

Hope everyone is well!

Avatar_f_tn
by legaljunky, Apr 27, 2012
Hi RC211V-
We're a little different here on this forum except for the fact that we are determined to do whatever it takes to get off Tramadevil.  I know I had other baggage long before I took Tram-  Lyme disease got to my brain, I had lesions in my brain that left me with depression.  I am on Lexapro forever, I guess, but I am happy to take it because it keeps me from being depressed, except at times during Tram WD.  And Lyme caused other permanent problems, sleep for one, and I imagine I will be on a little Clonazipam forever.  At times it was difficult to figure out whether what I was going thru was because of Tram or not.  But around day 130 I felt a noticeable change, the sense that I had accomplished something big, a sense of well being, and I knew I was done, finished with Tram WD forever.

It takes longer for some to WD, but the fight is so worth it.  I have my life back, my energy, and the desire to enjoy all the things I did before WD. We each have to find our own way but we can learn from each other.

DamTram, I think it was you who said you are off sugar and wheat and lost 9 lbs.  I'm off sugar and wheat too and I know I have lost weight by how my clothes fit but I don't want to weigh myself yet! I hope you find relief for your depression.

You too, Denise, I hope you find what works for your troubles.

Hugs to Sarabie.

Sending strength, perseverance and love to all my warrior buddies!

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by denised1982, Apr 27, 2012
Thanks legal, thanks DamTram... Y'all are so nice to me. I'm really glad that y'all have stuck around through the thick of it all.

Everyone here is in this mess together, and I am so glad that I am not by myself in the fight against tramadol. It is hard to not have empathy from people who don't know our daily fights and struggles.  I, too, am stuck with depression that I have dealt with over half of my life (diagnosed at 14, but it's lasted longer than that.) Don't think that all of our depression came from tram w/d, well, it did to an extent, but I really couldn't say if it made my depression worse since I got on Celexa right before CT w/d. I know when I did take tram for a couple of days in February, it caused me to have a state of panic and w/d pain in my leg bones and back after I stopped taking them (I only took them for 3 or 4 days at the most, so I would advise not giving in ever to tramadol once you decide to quit.) I just wanted a break from the pain that came back.

I slept a little, I didn't get in bed until about midnight last night, I woke up from 2, went back to bed after 3 and woke up at 6. I got my step-son ready for school and dropped him off, watched my husband go off to work and I went to lie back down after 9 and woke up at noon, got a shower and picked my step-son up from school. I gotta pick up the house again and cook dinner and clean up that mess, give my step-son a bath and put him to bed. Tomorrow I'm off so I have to watch my step-son all day while my husband is at work. I wish I could just sleep, I don't know why I'm so exhausted, other than the fact that I am used to sleeping all day to work at night. I get so depressed when I am tired, and I could sleep forever. It takes all I can to clean up and keep the house up, let alone go to work all night and not pass out. It is that time of the month for me (sorry guys) and that might be a factor as to why I am tired, too. At least my back and legs aren't hurting at the moment, but I have cramps. I can't get a break from something hurting! Ugh! I stretched my a$s off yesterday because my back and legs were hurting and at that helped a lot, so did the black seed oil, aleve and the gabapentin I took, so I'm thankful I have a break from the back/leg pain. I wish I had more energy, though.

Enough of my whining, I will probably feel better in a couple of days (the first few days of Aunt Flo is the worst for me), then I have to go back to work Sunday night. I'll write back later! I really really want to go to sleep! It's 5 pm here!

Love,

Denise

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by denised1982, Apr 27, 2012
Oh, not to scare you guys, because we're all different, but before I took tramadol I could sleep for hours and not think about waking up til 12 hours later. After tramadol my sleep has been seriously compromised. It could be because I am on Antidepressants too, so who really knows. I just wonder if there may still be problems with me since quitting tram (did I cause myself brain or chemical damage?) I'm a little more crazy since I quit. Am I gonna have to be put down like Old Yeller?

-Denise

Avatar_m_tn
by RC211V, Apr 27, 2012
Yeah DamTram, I understand what you are saying, and very well said too. And I definitley relate to your struggles with depression and anxiety as I have had my own. But I'm still "kicking" this Tramadol and the depression is coming from that. I was worried that the struggles you were sharing were directly caused by Tramadol w/d and it's neuro-chemical effect. But thanks for clearing that up for me. I am going through serious detox here even though I weaned off. And it's not physcial sysmptoms anymore. The mental anguish caused by the low seretonin that Tramadol w/d has due to it's effect on that neurotrasmitter (which I researched a bit too late by the way) is really doing its number on me here at day 12. I hope I didn't mean to sound insensitive but I'm just needing some hope here, and to hear that this will go away at some point and that I will get back to what is normal for me: not great but alot better than the way its been going.

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by DamTram, Apr 28, 2012
RC - I'm so sorry you're suffering, too.  I can tell you that every single day of those first 4 weeks off of Tramadol were better than the day before, but it does take work.  I had lost so much and made so many mistakes during Tramadol that I had a lot of fixing up to do with people and situations, which were causing some of my depression and anxiety.  Without Tramadol, I was actually able to address them and deal with them.  Although it didn't always turn out ideally, each attempt I made to alleviate the things that were causing me to be sad and anxious ended up making me feel stronger and better.

Like I said, though, life continues to go on and in my case, I was still unable to deal with new struggles without getting down.  I have done A LOT of hard work in the last 4 months to figure out WHY I tend towards a maladaptive response, and how to cope with things in a more effective way.  For me, that involves weekly meetings with a psychologist and will now, most likely, also include an SSRI, while I deal with all of the issues that are just now becoming clear.

In the meantime, have you tried 5-HTP?  It's a precursor to seratonin, and you can get it at Whole Foods and the like.  I haven't been using it, but I'm starting, again.  It's helped me a lot in the last few months.  For anxiety, GABA (also can be found at Whole Foods) has helped me boat loads.  I was definitely pounding those two supplements for the first 4 weeks of withdrawal.

I, like Denise, also had a nervous breakdown yesterday.  All of my work, files, papers from college did not make it in the shipment from my childhood home to my new city (my family moved when I moved, but the stuff just arrived last week).  This was partially the fault of my father, who had taken extra care to make sure all of my sister's documents made it, but who had taken apart my boxes and thrown things every which way.  When his response was ambivalent, I cracked, and started opening boxes in the garage and throwing things, including at him, and screaming.  Also, like Denise, it's that time of the month, and I AM READY to admit that I probably have PMDD.  I, literally, lose the will to live for a week every month and end up in that deep dark place.  Tramadol numbed this, of course, so now I have to figure out how to manage this without a pill that both provided the necessary pain relief and emotional numbing.  

In any case, it was good to crack (minus the guilt of throwing things, once I'd calmed down), and my dad and I were actually able to talk about our feelings, afterwards (I'm not sure this has ever happened).  I'm just glad that I didn't end up doing anything more drastic.  

Things DO get better, though.  They just change, you know?  Work hard to figure out what's causing your feelings, and what could be done to ameliorate them.

Stay strong, everyone!

Avatar_m_tn
by RC211V, Apr 29, 2012
I did get some 5-HTP from WholeFoods but haven't seen a difference from it. I have started out taking 50mg at night. But I've heard of people taking as much as 200 mg a day. I might up the does if it doesn't start working for me.

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by DamTram, Apr 29, 2012
Yea, I think I was taking 100mg.  I started at 50, and then went up after a bit.  I don't think I ever went higher than 100, though.  How's the weather been where you live?  I find it has a big effect on how I feel, physically and mentally.

Avatar_m_tn
by RC211V, Apr 30, 2012
The weather's been great...although I can't say that right now it is making much of a difference on how I feel. One thing that has been really disappointing is that the pain that I started taking the Traumadol (spelling intended) for has returned and is preventing me from really enjoying the weather. I always thought that the Tramadol wasn't doing all that much for the pain because when I first started taking it, I still felt it - the pain, that is. But then at some point later on after beginning the Tramadol, I noticed that the pain had vastly improved and I started feeling much better and started doing a lot of the same activities I used to enjoy. But it wasn't right away after beginning Tramadol so I thought that my body had improved on its own. Coupled with the fact that I would still have the pain from time to time, I thought that Tramadol wasn't responsible for the pain-free times which is why I really started thinking about getting off of it. Though its still too early to tell, since the pain could be coming from the w/d, I am starting to think that maybe my body didn't really heal after-all and the Tramadol did affect the pain (which is not helping with the depression I must say). It's so hard to tell right now because I'm really not done with the w/d yet. However, I did have a moment where I started to second guess my decision because I really believed that the Tramadol wasn't having that profound of an effect on my pain level. All these unknowns - What will my body feel like off the Tramadol? When will I be done with the w/d? - are really the hardest part of this for me.

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by DamTram, May 01, 2012
RC - I wish there were answers to your questions.  Everyone's bodies and situations are so different, and change is so gradual, there's no way to know when you are 'off' or 'done'.  In all likelihood, we are all 'off' of and 'done' with withdrawal (all of us out of acute withdrawal).  If damage occurred to our systems because of Tramadol, however, it may take a long time to fully recover.  But it's time to start evaluating your present state and decide what to do about it.  This is a very good time to see a mental health provider, if those systems are hurting your quality of life.  If the physical pain is worse, it's time to see a doctor to go over your options, again.  I know it's confusing, in your case, as to whether the Tramadol helped or not.  For most of us, Tramadol ruined our lives, relationships, and well-being.  Prescribed and not prescribed, it didn't matter.  Same result.  This is why we are determined to stay off.  I don't know if this happened in your case.  Either way, I hope that you seek assistance in figuring out how to better your quality of life.

I just came back from the psychiatrist.  He said that it's okay to be on such a tiny (0.25mg) dose of clonazepam, indefinitely.  This is a relief, because I really can't get comfortable any lower than that.  Also, I'm starting Prozac (which I haven't taken in 10 years) and will be doubling the dose when PMDD symptoms start each month.  I'm hoping to not go through life limping around, anymore.  Fingers crossed!

Hope everyone is well.

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by DamTram, May 02, 2012
I took the fluoxetine and Lyrica at the same time this morning, but didn't know I shouldn't do it on an empty stomach (the directions didn't say) and I threw up everything and my coffee.  Tomorrow - breakfast first.

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by NoraTorious, May 02, 2012
Just came on to say hello to all the new faces on here, and to see the progress of my dear friend, DamTram. You've been through a lot, honey, but you are shining like a star, and staying tough! I am so proud of you.

Okay. I have been off the Tramadol for almost 16 months now (I think the 16 month mark is going to be Saturday). And my life is seriously changing. I have no cravings at all for it ( though I quit cold turkey and never looked back). My Psychiatrist got me off of effexor and on to nortriptolyne (sp?), as well as mood stabilizers. I have mostly fantastic days now. I go to Yoga 4 days a week and try to keep myself busy on the other things. I am still taking a lot to fall asleep, and occasion. Klomopin. But my life is very different. Last year I was struggling with being off the Tramadol and having withdrawals that went on about 6 months, on too of my husband being unemployed. It was very stressful without getting off of it. But now, my life has drastically changed. I was taking a great deal of Tramadol, up to lethal aoumounts. It made me paranoid, antisocial, depressed, mean spirited and an insomniac. I was not able to take care of myself.

I haven't been exercising in about 5 years. I walked here and there, but it wasnt much at all. Now I HAVE to go to yoga as much as possibe. It is a gentle yoga class, I have been doing it for a month, and I do see some changes in my flexibility and my strength. I was an atrophied wimp before, but I am so determined to improve myself.

I still have a meltdown around the same time of the month. The mood stabilizers have helped some, but I wonder if it has to do with my period? I had a hysterectomy about 7 years ago in my late 30s so I really have no way of gauging time. I think it is definitely going to be a topic I bring up the next time I see my Pschiatrist.

My life is very good. I have the most wonderful, generous, sweet, loving and supportive husband in the world, I have great parents who support me. We live in a, albeit small apartment, but it frees up money for other things. I am very social now, and enjoy interacting with others, although my social anxiety does rear up now and again. I have come a long way.

I know getting off this sh$@ seems never ending but you will find relief and peasce. Get out there and exercise! I wish I had started yoga earlier but I am at least on it now and feeling the benefits of it. I am proud of all of you for getting tis far.

DamTram, I might be in L.A. At the end of the month to see a comedian, Greg Proops. He is funny and smart. If you want to come along or just meet for coffee,I would love to meet you, and I am sure the husband would love to meet you too. I am always thinking about you and worrying like a big sister, but I am happy to log in here and see that you are doing very well in spite of everything.

And Emily, if you are reading this, you helped save my life, as well as all the people in the forum. I am so happy to see the people in here banding together and rallying against this nasty little drug.  

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by NoraTorious, May 02, 2012
Oh also, the reason I was taking Tramadol was for chronic pain. Through my health plan I took a class which taught me about pain and how do deal with it. I came out of there being able to say to my pain, "f*ck you, you are not ruling my lifeany more".. I can't believe the mind over matter thing worked but it did. I got a wake up call seeing these other people who were in worse amounts of pain and popping pills every hour or so. I still have pain, but I try to work through it and not be a slave to it.

Also my plans are to go from gentle yoga to regular yoga, to hot yoga, then fencing, and then boxing. It is going to take some time but I am all about the journey right now.

Peace and luck to all.

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by coosa1978, May 04, 2012
I've been on and off lurking in this area for years now...I have been on and off tram over the last 7 years, only to return back to it after a really bad lapse in good judgment.  My last major withdrawal was back in 2010, which I would say was the worst of my symptoms.  For some reason, this last time gave me barely any symptoms, and I'm almost afraid to think that they are just hanging around ready to kick my @ss.  I have been on a steady diet of trams since April 2010, equaling out to roughly 10-12 a day.  On top of it, I have been taking Wellbutrin, which is know is a dangerous combination with the chance of serotonin syndrome/seizures.  Thankfully nothing had happened.

I was just so fed up with life in general and have made some really bad decisions since 2008 and I'm ready to grow up.  Some of the older posts from the group back in 2009 finally hit home and made me stop the tram cold turkey...my biggest issue now is to keep away from it the rest of my life!  I never thought of myself as an addict, but I am addicted to food as well and the weight problems have never been addressed.  I know it's not an excuse, but last year was pretty much the worst year of my life.  My hubby and I experienced a series of 5 family deaths in a matter of months...it first started out as my brother in law being killed in a freak plane crash on Valentine's day...then it collapsed after that.  By May 17th, we had 3 other family members dead (my grandfather and hubby's grandfather in April) and my hubby's mom in May.  We've passed year anniversaries of the deaths, with some coming up very soon.  My stepmother died in October 2011...and thankfully that was the last of the family deaths for that year.  We ended the year with pet deaths which almost broke me, even with the tramahaze I've been in.

I have a great family (almost 8 year old daughter) and a loving husband of 14 years.  Hubby is in the same place I was a few weeks back, knowing he needs to get off the tram as well, but not having the power to do so yet.  We are almost broke with the tram costs over the last several years...buying online cost us almost $15,000 in the last 2 years alone...I would hate to add up what we've spent over the last 7 years!  I am furious that we charged this on credit cards that could have been paid off...and what sort of vacation I could have had for the $15,000...I have wanted to go to Disney World for YEARS and hubby can't justify saving and paying for a frivolous vacation...yet we can ingest the little white pills that make us miserable???  I don't get how that is justified...

Anywho, I feel like I'm rambling on and on...I just wanted to say hey to all here and how I empathize with each person about the physical discomforts (sometimes torture) and mental stamina it takes to keep ourselves clean!  Take it one day at a time and relish the powerful freedom we have from a little white pill that makes us think we need it to survive!

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by Sarabie, May 04, 2012
Hi Coosa and welcome :-) You just ramble on as much as you need. We'll read everything and we all know how you feel. So you just carry on :-)

RC - When I quit tram, my whole body hurt like h***. I thought my former pain and reason for me to be on tram, had returned. But it faded like the rest of the w/d's, so hopefully the same thing will happen to you!!

I'm really enjoying the spring. As most of you know, I broke my patella twice in a week, so I'm just sitting in my garden with my leg up, my easel in front of me, paint and brushes galore and audiobooks on the iPod. I've always been a bit hyper - I guess one of the reasons that I loved tram, was that they made me able to sit and fully concentrate on something for hours and hours - but now where I don't have a choise, I'm able to concentrate for longer periods without tram or anything else. I'm not ADD and I have both a masters degree and a bachelor, so I can concentrate. But I have a tendency of getting bored quite quickly and search for something more fun. I didn't have that need on tram - I was perfectly happy if I could just sit in my own little vaccum world for days. Looking back I'm quite sure it's SO much healthier to be a bit hyper than to be in tram world.

Anyways, life is good now. If all goes well I'll be opening my little hotdog diner in July (depending on my knee) and the future seems bright.

Denise - always in my thoughts :-)

Legal - you know I love you :-)

Damtram - my fingers are crossed :-)

Love Susie

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by goatfarmer, May 07, 2012
Can someone give me a proper SLOW taper schedule for this junk? I was on 8 a day and took 12 weeks to get down to 4. I waited until the depression was gone before I started tapering again so I tapered to 3 3/4 a day taking doses 5 hours apart then I went to 3 1/2 and had PANIC and ANXIETY, hot/cold flashes, brain zaps and headaches. I do not crave it anymore at all just can't stand the anxiety. My goal is to be off in 2 more months. I will NOT go cold turkey too scared I will die LOL. Can I do this in two months with minimal issues? I had mild anxiety coming down from 8 but it wasn't too bad but now that I am at 200 mg cutting back 1/2 pill through me into a tizzy, I was fine for 2 days and by the 3rd day felt like my heart was popping out of my chest. For those that do a slow taper do you think its reasonable to do 1/2 a pill a week or will I have anxiety? I was thinking of doing like 3 3/4 for 4-5 days then another 1/4th for 4-5 days you get the picture. Please help! I have quit before and remember the HELL! I tapered from 4 in 6 weeks and it was a living hell! the depression mostly! Maybe I will have to extend my goal time to 3 months? I don't know. someone help me come up with a plan of action? pretty please!! :) I am sorry we are all goign through this. I have been on this crap for 9 years. My doc said NOn addictive yada yada!! I have been up to 12 pills a day before! This stuff *****! I want to be off all meds and just use natural methods like amino acids and maybe homeopathic for pain or something. I am seeing a chiroptractor which helps some! This is long but bottom line is can someone give me a realistic taper schedule for a long time user and someone who wants to be off by 2-3 months? I have to have a goal or I will fail! :(  My doc said just cut back 1 pill a week! um yeah right!!

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by legaljunky, May 08, 2012
Welcome goatfarmer- you have come to the right place!

There is no such thing as the PROPER etc.!  All we can do is tell you our experiences, and we're each a little different. I read thru pages and pages of posts and figured out how I wanted to taper. I had never taken more than 300mg Tramadevil daily and when I began my slow taper I was at 200mg a day.  I reduced 40mg a week that gave me 4 days of hell and 3 days of not too bad. I can tell you all the supplements, vitamins I took and what I ate and drank, etc, but you are having a much rougher time than I did, I never had heart symptoms or brain zaps (I don't even know what they are).  

When I got down to 40mg a day I stopped completely after 1 week and that's when it was unbearable for 4 days, and after that it got a little better, and than up and down for what seemed like forever, but actually I gradually got my life back.

I'm so grateful to have beaten Tramadevil, it was tough but so worth the battle.  Fight like hell, goatfarmer (but don't take it out on your goats) and you will beat it too.  Other Tram warriors will have more experience with the problems you are going thru.

Keep posting, it helped me because nobody else gets it.  We're here for you and know what you are going thru.

Sending you love, strength and perseverance  

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by Junebonjovi, May 08, 2012
oh me, it feels good to know I am not in this boat alone. I have been taking only two tramadol daily for 3 years. I have a terrible loss of appetite and I feel like it is leading me to starvation. Why in the world do they give this drug out with the misconception it is not addictive and how do we act on it???? I say only two, because I see where many take much more...not judging at all. I will be praying for all of you here that the dark cloud of depression will cease. That includes myself. I am having every symptom listed....I still have a bottle full and refills but am taking it upon myself to wean off of it.I took two Sunday Morning, none yesterday and panic, depression, depair all set in that fast. So, this morning I took one! I don't want the Docs advice because it bothers me that he writes the scrips so quickly. Does anyone know what the dosage should be to wean off of it???? if so, please share. I just want to be normal! This isn't the first time I've tried to come off of it. I read it is like heroin. I feel like I am just here, thats it. Cannot function hardly. Feel like I need to be in a rehab facility where I can just lay there and someone cook my meals and take care of me. I do not consider myself clean from this mess at all! Should I take one per day for a week and then one every other day??? What do I do???

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by Junebonjovi, May 08, 2012
Also, I had a new symptom yesterday, my hands seem to burn, even in cold water???


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by goatfarmer, May 08, 2012
Thanks legaljunky!!!
i checked this page every couple hours for two days!!! LOL!I
So yesterday I took 3 3/4 again just had mild restless leg before my first dose and slight anxiety but doing ok. I am going to do 3 1/2 again today. Mine are capsules so its hard to know exactly how much I am really getting or not getting. I need to ask for tablets next time unless I can figure out how to measure it out properly.
I am seeing usually thhe 4th day is the worst? Is that right? So I am going to set up a schedule to cut back 1/4 pill every 5 days.
Does anyone know if I can take gaba, 5htp or valerian while tapering? is it ok to mix since I am not off yet? I have heard great things about them all.
Next goal 3 1/2 daily for 5 more days! hoping I can do it! Its the stinkin anxiety that gets me most!!

thanks again!!

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by Sarabie, May 08, 2012
Hi june and goatfarmer and welcome amongst us :-)

I'm sitting here thinking about tramadol. I was on tram for five years. The dose was up to 24 pills a day for at least a year. And I went CT. Had horrible w/d's but the "funny" thing is that they weren't worse than your w/d's from much smaller doses. Which basically means that it only takes one of those little devil pills to make your life miserable. "sigh"

I can't really give advice to any of you since I did the CT thing - have absolutely not patience. When I want something done it has to be right away. So when I decides to quit tram it had to be final and now. But even though I can't advise you, I can still say welcome :-)

Anyways I saw a scary thing online today. I was at Yahoo answers and I found at least 10 posts from "doctors" telling people to buy tramadol and then posted a link to online pharmacies and tram. I got SO angry and reported all of them instantly. Probably the same person in different nicks - or a machine. But I was really shocked. Yahoo Answers is 75% kids and very young people. And those pharmacies just want to make them addicts. I'm seriously shocked that it's legal. It isn't in Denmark.

Well off to bed now - hope everyone is doing ok !!!!

Love Susie

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by legaljunky, May 09, 2012
Hi goatfarmer
If your 4th day is the worst, that is how it is for you.  For me, all 4 days after I reduced my dose were horrible.  I took 800mg of magnesium throughout the day, it's a muscle relaxer, helps with the RLS and does other good stuff I can't remember.  I don't know about valerian or gaba except that other warriors take it.  5HTP can cause seratonin syndrome (suicidal ideation and other lethal problems) if taken with an SSRI so I did my research and didn't take it because I am on an SSRI for problems I had long before I took Tramadevil.

Hang in there, goatfarmer, you are on the right track!  I wish I was a goat farmer, I love goat cheese (ekte yetost) and I love animals!

Welcome Junebonjovi!
When I was on Tramadevil I didn't realize how much it affected my appetite but over 2 years I lost 35 lbs- that was wonderful for me!  I have gained some back and I'm fighting to get it off again.
Each Tram warrior finds his or her way to taper, my last post will tell you how I did it. Once I began my slow taper I never increased my dose again, I didn't want to take a step backwards no matter what. There were days when I was so tired and felt so awful I got nothing done except the fact that I had completed 1 more day on my way to recovery. Like you, I really didn't accomplish much during  WD and felt like maybe I should be going somewhere for rehab.  At this point I am glad I did it with the support of this forum and therefore addiction is not on my medical records.  But I know some warriors have major problems in WD and do need medical supervision.

Tramadevil is 1 strong opponent!  It feels so good to beat it!

Sending love, strength and perseverance!



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by serenenow, May 09, 2012
I've been on Tramadol for 6 years now.  I went from over 20 50mgs. per day to down to 12 50 mgs. per day.  Yes it has been a nightmare.  I was prescribed it 6 years ago for a kidney stone and told them to not give me any narcotics because I'm a recovering addict.  I had been addicted to it from 1996-2001 back when the doctors SWORE it was not addictive!  When I got clean from it in 2001 I had been off of it for 4 years and working a 12-step program.  But like I said above, my stupid thinking allowed it to be prescribed again thinking I could get off of it...no problem.  So here I am 6 years later and thousands of dollars wasted, trying to get off of it again.  The whole time I've been staying involved in the 12-step program and have made lots of friends with others in recovery but have not been able to feel I could trust any one of them enough to let them know what has been going on with me.  There are those in this program who like to spread one's personal life all over the fellowship.  I have tried several times to quit cold turkey and cannot stand the withdrawal.  I am a full time college student, a mother and a grandmother, as well as a fiance'.  I've begun doing a tapering method, taking 2 50 mgs. in the a.m., then 2 hours later taking another 50 mgs. to get my plasma level closer to tolerable, then after that it's 2 50 mgs. every 3 hours.  I planned on going to 2 50 mgs every 4 hours after a few days of the 2 every 3 hours.  I just started doing this yesterday but after reading all of the forums on tramadol withdrawal I'm wondering if this is really the best way to go?  Tapering off that is.  I would greatly appreciate any feedback.  Thanks.

I'm also very concerned about the comment regarding tramadol being bought off the internet.  Is it really worse than what the doctor prescribes?

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by Ptowngirl, May 09, 2012
Good to see some new names! I wish you all peace and strength, hang in there!

serenenow - tapering will have to be at your pace, there is no right or wrong way - just the one that works for you. I made it down to 2 a day and just could not take it anymore. I was getting withdrawals at about the 12- 16 hour mark and I called the doctor to ask for help. I figured I would rather just be done than have to keep going through the feelings for a few hours everyday. If you are doing better with the tapering stick with it, try half and if you tolerate it well try to drop a little more the next time.

Goatfarmer - the gaba helped with the restless legs tremendously for me and Kava Kava for the anxiety (and a small amount of klonopin from the doctor) - PS I have Boer's and am now called the goat lady by our family lol. They are so sweet.

Today is the first day since getting off of the trams that I woke up with a smile on my face and a plan for the day. I was ready to get on an anti-depressant because I have just been feeling so blah. There is a light at the end of the tunnel - be prepared for good days and horrible ones - it is a process. The Kava Kava and Magnesium have been great help. I also take Sam-E, B6 & B12 everyday and I think those are definitely helping as well.

Taking these steps are changing your lives - keep up your strength!

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by goatfarmer, May 10, 2012
Thanks for all the support!!!
So I had to take another 1/2 pill yesterday anxiety too bad! Boy when you get down to the last 4 it is SO hard to go lower then that! :( I get the jitters! Like I drank too much coffee! I feel jittery like all day! I thought I saw somewhere were someone said to take 1/2 the amount every two hours instead of every 4-5 hours to keep blood levels up. I may do that! Seems like the 3rd hour after I take a dose I am feeling anxious and jittery!

PTowngirl how long have you been off? I don't know how ya all do cold turkey but then this stuff is so weird that sometimes if you take your regular dose you feel w/d symptoms. How weird is that?!!!!!

I think I am concentrating to much on symptoms I need to quite being a wimp and put my big girl panties on! I have a farm and kids to take care of can't focus so much on this stupid w/d symptom crap! Maybe I am reading too much into it. I should be able to drop 1/2 pill and feel ok right? REDICULOUS! OK big girl panties time to help me out here lol.

Todays goal is still 3 1/2 yesterday I took a little extra to get through w/d but it didn't help so just screw it back to my schedule!!!

Hugs to you all I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy!!!!

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by TRAMMAN999, May 10, 2012
I’m back in the land of the living  ......   Just   !!!!
I’m the guy who was going to take “ a little “ just to give myself some relief from the deep pit I was in. I knew it was wrong/risky but I did it !  - against the advice of fellow sufferers.

Yeh, I got caught up in it again for about a month  -  was a relief at first, but then I started sliding down the road to wanting more and more  -   and I got frightened.

So, I faced up to it  [again ] and went cold turkey 20 April.
I won’t go into details of that week  -  why ?  - because I don’t want to frighten other people. It is my choice to go cold turkey  -  it is the ‘ only ‘ way for me. I can’t taper because I’m an “ addict “ !!!

Well, I’m back, as it were. “ I’m at about 20 days “.

I am back, but I am back where I was. And where is that?  - well,  I would describe it  “ as Shut Down Mode “. I just feel rotten – not interested in anything – can’t do anything- I have no energy – freezing cold and perpetual painful cold feet. I guess anyone would call it  (that word that covers all!?)   " depression "
.
I just know now it is going to be very slow recovery. Last time  “ I got to 48 days “ and still felt as bad !!??
I am going to have to be very patient. I am not taking any supplements  -  just good food.
Of course any advice, support and encouragement would be very welcome.
Please don’t tell me  “ I told you so   !!!!  “


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by Junebonjovi, May 10, 2012
OKAY, Thanks to you all for your stories. Support is so important. I am taking one a day this week instead of two. How long should I do this til I taper, I do not know! Am thinking that next week, one every other day?? I feel remarkably better.
Also, a lot of prayer.... Trying to distinguish between sin and sickness.? Clinically, thinking it is best to taper. I have had all of you in my prayers also. I KNOW we can do this! Giving up is not an option!! My son Graduated Ga Tech this past Saturday and I have so much to be Thankful For. Taking it one day at a time. Appetite has already picked up. Vision is better. Clarity is better. Don't do it cold turkey. Taper off!!!! I am not there yet but having a really good day!
                 I Can Do All Things Through Christ Who Strengthens Me~



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by Junebonjovi, May 10, 2012
@ Sarabie....24 pills a day?? omgoodness.....I can only take two EARLY in the morning, if any later I couldn't fall asleep.
Trams give me unabounding energy. You are right about a smaller dosage being more effective! That holds true with even a benedryl. Benedryl will help with wd from Trams insomnia.



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by Junebonjovi, May 10, 2012
serene now.....maybe the doctors should try it and see if they are at the same conclusion of it being a non addicting drug. Nothing could be farther from the truth! I am so glad my kids are out of college, not on drugs, doing great. Just frightens me that the doctors are so quick to give this out and say, oh, it's not addictive. They are lost!



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by Sarabie, May 10, 2012
Hehe yup June 24 a day. Some people are doing 50 pills a day. It's horrible!!! But at that point you don't quite realize how grotesque it actually is. I'm a very energetic and social woman but during that period I just wanted to sit home with my boyfriend and do nothing. For those 10 hours a day I could stay awake that is.

I don't wanna scare you but being out of college isn't a guarantee for anything. I have both a Masters degree and a bachelor degree. Had a great life but got a kidney infection that wouldn't go away. So my doctor gave me tram for the pain and for the first two years there wasn't any problems. But then I had to take a little more for it to work. And then a little more etc. I was frightened I couldn't work if I was in too much pain so I just kept going. And didn't "wake up" before I'd lost my love, my job, my life. Then I went cold turkey. Was sick for a week, tired for a month but extremely happy. I got out! Well my point is - you never know. I've never done any drugs. Not even once and still it happened. But the most important thing is, that even though it was a seriously tough ride, I'm 100% myself again. I've told everyone I know about it. Posted it on my FB wall and met nothing but support and love from my friends and family. So now my life is back on track. Yours will too when you are past the w/d's :-D

Trammann - no judgement and no "I told you so". You'll manage this time!!! Focus on all the good things in your life. Before you sleep at night, find 5 things that made you happy that day. Keep eating healthy foods and use your body. Enjoy the spring and post in here.

Love Susie

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by TRAMMAN999, May 11, 2012
Hi Susie
Thanks for the non-judgement and " I told you so " !!!
I will focus on the good things I have in my life  -  but it is so difficult digging out of this pit.
Positive   :   20 Days Clean. I guess my brain is having to do some big adjustments.
I'll ride with it this time.
Thanks for support         ........      Tramm

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by legaljunky, May 11, 2012
Tramman999-

I'm so happy you are back!  I'm so sad and worried when 1 of my fellow warriors just disappears from the forum and there is no way to know what happened.  I always fear the worst. Keep posting, it helped me when I was at my worst in WD.  We're here for you and want so much for you to claw your way out of Tramahell.  I have found a beautiful world that I didn't realize I had missed while taking Tram and in WD.  You'll find yours too!
I remember the horrible days in WD when the only thing I was able to accomplish was being 1 day closer to recovery. It was so hard but so worth the effort!

Love, strength and perseverance!  One day at a time!

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by TRAMMAN999, May 11, 2012
Hi legaljunky & Sarabie.
So kind of you, first of all for remembering me and for your words of support.
I always thought    (because I'm a strong guy!?)   that I'll beat the week of torture and then I'll quickly pull myself together, like I have done in all the bad past times that life throws at you. This is certainly different  -  I can't  " Snap out of it " !  as they say. I feel that I am doing all the right things. But, I think I have come to realise that the last 4 to 5 years have 'done me in' !
If I am honest, I do despair at the thought of going on like this day by day  -  as they say  " One Day At A Time "
People (many people) do say it gets better  -  how I long for that. I don't feel it is getting better. Having said that I'm only at 20 days (after mamoth abuse).
I have not had one spark  -  believe me, if I get that spark there will be no stopping me  -  I have a lot of life to make up !! Relationships to repair etc etc. BUT   .......    I can't do it in this state of health. Some would call this self indulgence; self pity, negative thinking.       But, as I said  " I am tying to do the right things ".
Come soon that SPARK ........     Please    !!!!!
I am being pushed to see a GP, but to be honest I really don't want to. I can imagine the scenario  -  the GP wouldn't have a clue what I was trying to put over. And anyway, I reckon the only thing that they may think would possibly help would be Antidepressants  -  and I am so unsure about taking any medication from the GP. " She is the one who initiated all this trauma "! (OK I take the blame for the abuse !!!)
I'll have my cup of tea and calm down now     ........      I have just belted these thoughts down because I am so stressed.
I'll come back again   ---------    sober.      Thanks      TRAMM

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by osuzieq, May 11, 2012
Hi all, I have been going thru these entries for a few weeks trying to find out more info on Tramadol. 15 mon. ago I was prescribed 1-2 50mg @3-4 times daily not to exceed 8 per day for chronic kidney and hip pain. My results with other pain meds-Vicodin, morphine, fentanyl patch, diaudid etc. all give me extreme headaches immediately. My dr. said to give each a fair try as side effects sometimes go away. I spent many days on the couch in agony hoping for relief, but nothing worked. My sister-in-law told me her father was on Tramadol, that it was milder and non-addictive. Same story everyone has heard until they are on it for awhile. The first couple of weeks only took the edge off of the pain. I never took more than 5 in a day and always with promethazine for the nausea. As the months went by my pain was so slight I barely noticed it. But other things started to happen. My vision became so blurry, waking up with swollen red eyes, terrible headaches, nausea, lethargy to the point I could barely lift my legs to walk, such fatigue, and the scariest of all is the trouble breathing-like I can't take a deep enough breath. Following some advice I saw given here I decided to do a taper. I went from 4 a day to 1 every morning for 5-6 days, then one half for 2 days then nothing. God the withdrawals are a nightmare. If we could only sleep away the restlessness and anxiety and aches... no such luck though. I am approximately 8 days free of taking Tram. My brain feels soooo foggy yet and the breathing is no better. I did call my dr. last week and explained what I was doing and she prescribed clonidine. I have taken 2 pills and found they only made me sleepier. I do sleep around 5 hrs a nite now compared to 1-2 the first few days. I guess the mind fog makes me wonder if I have a brain tumor and the breathing a lung disease. Anyone else have any input? I think you are all true warriors and that Emily woman that started this thread is one wonderful person. My best and love to all,Susan

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by Sarabie, May 11, 2012
Just a quick reply

Trammann I think you are seriously cool. It takes guts, courage and superhero powers to beat tram w/d's and you are on day 20 for the second time. A big up from me !!!!

Susan - a warm welcome to you. I'm in a bit of a hurry, but justet wanted you to know you aren't alone. I too got a blurry eyesight while on tram. I actually got an appointment with an eyedoctor, cause it's so seldom that people get short sighted like I did, so fast. I had to wear contacts or glasses just to see the tv. But ever since I quit tram my sight has improved tremendously. I never use either contacts nor glasses anylonger. Breathing problems is a wellknown sideaffect of tram, so don't worry about that either. I myself was very lucky and basically slept through my w/d's - so I was spared the insomnia, brain zaps and foggy brain, but I know that most people in here have experienced the same thing. All that apart - you too are doing a great job !!!!!!!!!! Like I told trammann - it takes a superhero to beat this devil pill and you have gone a long way already. So, stay with us, post as much as you need, ask questions, tell us everything you feel like and be proud !

Love, Susie

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by denised1982, May 12, 2012
Hey everyone,
Just wanted to stop in and say hello--
Still going through pain and depression. I am going to a mental health facility on Monday to fill out some paperwork and get an appointment. I would like to ask if I can be prescribed either effexor and d/c the celexa or continue the celexa and include wellbutrin. I would love to try something like pristiq or cymbalta but since it's a new drug and I really don't have health insurance it will be wayyyy too expensive.

I really have been lacking motivation lately, it takes everything I can to get out of bed and do stuff around the house. It s ucks because I am in pain and it doesn't help this depression. I just want to feel normal. I want to be a part of something good. I say that I want to do yoga and stuff like that, but I feel like I am stuck, I'm lazy, I'm a horrible person. I can't take care of myself or anything else. My husband is at his wit's end, and I'm just like, well... I care but I don't care. I care but it's hard for me to change the fact that I am depressed and hurt. I didn't choose to be depressed, I didn't choose to mess myself up, sh it happens. I just want to feel free from this once and for all. It's hard to explain. I just want to feel like a productive person.

It's been almost 6 months since I quit cold turkey after a 2-3 year habit. I'm not 100% sure how long it really was, because I don't remember, I was too f'ed up on tram. I took at least 12 a day, sometimes more, 16-20? I don't remember. I know I took 4 50mg tablets at a time. I do have an addictive personality, if I see narcotics, especially opiates, I will take as much as I can and keep on until they're gone. Ever since I quit taking the tramadol, my tolerance for other opiate analgesics has skyrocketed through the roof. It is scary. At least there is no ceiling on opiates, it depends on the individual. You can't say that about other drugs, like barbituates. Tolerance develops quickly on those, and there isn't much of a difference between a "get f*cked up because I have a habit on barbs" or an overdose. Never took them before, not even a fioricet.

I have a hard job. It kills me. I am a CNA at a nursing home, if you see my avatar, I'm in my uniform, my teal scrubs :)
I wish I could leave, been doing it for 5 straight years at this job, 6 total. I am not willing to take on a different type of job and take a 5-6 dollar an hour paycut. I can't afford my bills now that I have to pay back and get caught up on since I did a serious bit of harm to my credit by not paying my bills to buy my tramadol online and other drugs. I want to try to get out of spending my money foolishly and start saving and help my husband buy a house. After that I want out of my CNA job, at least full time. I would like to explore my options as an RN. I can do it, I think my biggest problem is boredom and laziness and being the "victim" of my pain. I do have extremely tight mucles, from my neck to my back to my legs, I do stretches, and it does help, but being lazy and fat is going to hurt me more. I feel like, if I exercise, I hurt, if I don't, I hurt. I want to do good, but I feel like, why start if I can't do anything significant with my life? Sh it. I'm a pathetic loser. I am a waste. I am telling the truth as I see it. I am hard on myself, and I need to be. I put myself in this position, and I need to get off my lazy, fat a ss and get myself out. True story. I just don't want to live like this anymore. I don't want to have these personal demons, these obstacles in my life. I'm over it! I want out of this life! I have GOT to do something about this, I want something to look forward to, and be happy when I wake up to live life, not get p issed off for waking up.

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by TRAMMAN999, May 13, 2012
Hi denised
You brought tears to my eyes !
You have have eliquently put into words exactly how I feel at this moment in time. I did try and say in about 2 or 3 lines how I felt  -  3 posts above.
Anyway it is about YOU.
You also are awaiting that SPARK that I mention. Maybe you can't await (and you can't " snap out of it ". It is hard to say, but maybe you are in a position (as I am) where no one can help you  -  only you can do it. I reckon you will have to have a serious talk to yourself and develop an "Olympic" training regime. Because that is what it will require. Develop a daily programme that 'you know' you can cope with. Be nice to yourself, because you are nice  - I can tell by your frequent posts  -  you care !!  Now you have to care about yourself. Put yourself first in everything you do  -  feel better; get better and then you are in a position to to 'care'. Feeling a little better will show through  -  your husband will notice  -  and this will springboard you into better thoughts and moods  -  a circle !
I wish you well with your appointment and hope that you are able to get the medication you want and that it works.
Do not do yourself down with powerful negative thoughts  -  because that's what they are  -  very powerful  -  enough to put you in that pit of despair, which is so difficult to climb out of. Positive thoughts : easy to say; difficult to do where you are  -  But, you have to try  -  there is no other way !!
I wish you well and you have heaps of support from one who knows the pain.
Keep posting  -  you are needed on this site.
Hugs      ...............     Tramm

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by denised1982, May 13, 2012
Thanks TRAMMAN for the peptalk.. Sometimes it's hard for me to "change the channel" and if I do, I often change it back. I have to take better care of myself, make "my body my temple" so to speak. Thank you so much, I really do need it. I really feel like what I say is true, it's just it's taken me 30 years to realize it. I've always wondered, "what's wrong with me?" and I have done a lot of soul searching and taken a lot of time to figure out that what is wrong with me is laziness and fear, and I have to work on it. I hope it doesn't take 30 more years to get my stuff together. Thanks for caring, and thanks for your support. I think my anger towards myself can be enough for me to change. I am rather disgusted at my situation, but I can at least use that to my advantage.

Today is allright, so far. I woke up and wasn't in pain. That's a good thing. I stretched myself out real good yesterday. I also have been out of work for the past five nights. I go back tomorrow night, so we will see if it is, in fact, my job. I think it is, because I have been in this pain for 6 years. Crazy. I have been applying for different jobs anyway, did that online this morning. I need to do something about my pain levels, and if it means to take a paycut and do something different, then so be it.

I just get so p*ssed off at myself, all the time. I know I can do better, but I don't. I'm too stubborn.

Hugs,

Denise

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by serenenow, May 13, 2012
I just came back from out of town and got scared to death while I was out of town when I realized I hadn't brought enough tramadol with me to continue my wean down.  Needless to say, Saturday I became "sick" when I had to stretch out the doses way more than I'm use to.  I didn't want to take it Saturday, all that I had left, then be really "sick" on the 3 hour ride back home today.  I had myself built up to just go cold turkey after 6 years.  I've been weaning down to where I'm roughly between 12 and 15 per day, as opposed to, what it once was a couple of years ago.  I just know I'm sick and tired of the obsession and compulsion of making sure I have enough and how long will I have enough before I have to find the money to spend, again, on the next script.  It's an endless cycle and I want my quality of life back.  The crappy thing about it is today I find out, after going to the ER for pain in my side, that I have a cyst on my right ovary and a kidney stone coming down from my right kidney!  I've had several stones in the past, of which didn't help my mission of trying to get off the dam trams, and here I am again, after 2 years of no stone, with another one!  So I got a days worth script today and don't want to have to go cold turkey with a kidney stone.  It would be pointless since I would just end up back at the ER for the pain.  And who wants to suffer through the hell of withdrawals while having to deal with a kidney stone and a cyst on top of it?!  I just want this insanity over with and to be able to wake up one day without having to reach for the pills or sell and pawn my possessions just to continue to get more.  If I didn't know better I'd think this was a heroin habit!  I've never done heroin but I wonder if the withdrawals between it and tramadol aren't similar in the intensity.  I'm glad to have found this support forum.  I will keep posting.  Thank you...all of you.

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by denised1982, May 13, 2012
I think the closest thing to tramadol withdrawals is methadone withdrawals! They last about as long, except with tram it starts the day after you last dose!

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by serenenow, May 13, 2012
Generally how long does tramadol withdrawals last?

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by denised1982, May 14, 2012
The acute stage depends on how many and how long you've taken it. I think my acute stage was about 2 weeks. The post acute stage is what will make you want to take it again due to all the depression, anxiety and all that mess. I had to get on sleeping meds and antidepressants. Everyone is different.

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by artistsandie, May 14, 2012
HelloI have been posting with wonderful people e on a post I put up when I started this journey, on day one of no tramadol after five years. I had decided I had regain my health enough and would be able to deal with minor pain on my own, so asked my new Dr.  to give me an idea of how to wean off it. Of course I had only been told by the former Dr. I would just cut back and then removed it from my medication routine, never it was addictive.  So here I am a person who has never done drugs and does not drink on that rocky journey called withdrawals.  I was so lucky and blessed to have found this place on the web one night while suffering during that all night dance of withdrawals.  Of course even after that I was still not aware of the process of living through the long and seemingly never-ending cycle my body had to experience. I am a “Do it, do it right, do it right now”, kind of personality, yes I was in for a shock.  I can say this has impacted every aspect of my life, sometimes on a daily bases, truly it is one day at a time journey.  Glad to meet everyone and truly understand the term, “Tramadol warriors”.
ArtistSandie

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by DamTram, May 14, 2012
TramMan - Your post to Denise brought tears to MY eyes!  If I were a psychic, I would say that you will find that your ability to care for others will be your source of strength in recovering, yourself.  One thing about sparks: if you wait for them, they will most definitely NOT come.  Not to liken this horror to dating, but 'the spark' is a myth and everyone that goes on first dates hoping for a spark either a) doesn't find one, and doesn't have a second date on which they would've actually gotten a chance to know the person and, possibly, really connect with them, or b) mistake attraction for 'spark' with someone who is a terrible match, ending in a short or long-term, bad situation.  Don't wait for a spark.  Don't wait for anything.  You need to believe that, in the grand scheme of things, each week will be better than the last.  Even if better days are sometimes followed by worse days.  But like Denise has explained (I'm paraphrasing here, and feel free to kick me for putting words in your mouth, D. =] ), the more you tell yourself to get your act together, the more you won't.  You can't.  All you can do is focus on a few things, or even one thing, at a time and work at making them happen.  And remember: happiness is also a myth.  We have fleeting moments of it, regular people have fleeting moments of it, but there's no such thing as plain being 'happy'.  It was just a myth created to make us feel worse about ourselves, asking, 'Why can't I be happy??  Everyone else is happy!!'  They're not. They're just living their lives, some more functionally than others, enjoying those fleeting moments of happiness.  Oh, and, from a girl who relapsed twice - screw anyone who says I told you so.  That's the fantastic thing about this forum.  There are no judgments.  The person who posted above telling NO ONE to go COLD TURKEY has not grasped the specialness of this safe space, and I applaud Susie for responding in a nonplussed manner to the shock of this person at Susie's dosages.  You are safe, here, Tramman.  We are not here to judge, only to give you whatever support we can give that you want.

To our newcomers: Welcome!  This is a wonderful place for support, venting, guidance, and the like.  It is a place where you will not be judged or told what to do.  We are not allowed to give taper recommendations (legally), but other posters are correct that each person has to do what's most comfortable for them, anyway.  You need to listen to your body until you're a) comfortable or b) can't take it anyone and check in to a hospital, quit cold turkey, or stabilize until you're comfortable enough to continue your taper.  In any situation, we'll be here for you.  Thank you for maintaining our supportive, non-judgmental outlet.  I don't know where I'd be without it.

Denise, baby, I hear so much progress from you, even if you don't feel it.  You have pain free days, now, which you didn't before.  You are accepting that your job is making you worse, and taking action to change it.  Your husband is fed up, and you're telling him to deal with it.  I love all of it, and I'm so proud of you.  Like NoraTorious said about me, I think of you every day and hope the best for my sister on the other coast.  Just keep killing it, lady.

As for me, I'm sorry I've been absent.  Last week was the hardest of the quarter (until the last week of the quarter, that is), and then my sister came in to town and I don't know...life has just been BAM BAM BAM, for me.  I started Prozac two weeks ago, and it does weird stuff to my brain (I think of Eeyore saying that his head is full of fluff.  Or maybe that was Pooh Bear).  However, I haven't felt like crying since I started.  I can sit in class and pay attention, just sitting, now.  I'm sleeping longer spans.  I make people laugh, more.  I even wore a dress, today!  I know it takes 4-6 weeks to take full effect, so I'm hoping the brain fluff will dissipate and that my energy level will continue to improve.  I know that my issues with substance use are not behind me, since I'm really dependent on medical MJ to fall asleep.  But, for now, I'm grateful that it's legal and recognized as an alternative to pharmaceutical medicines.  I'm stable on 1/4mg clonazepam, and I'll probably stay on it, indefinitely, given my history of severe anxiety and its effect on my sensory systems.  But, who knows - Prozac is supposed to be a wonder drug, and the one thing I can say for sure: I can handle, to a point, annoying sounds!!  I coped with chip chomping, carrot gnashing, bus bantering, and no panic attacks!  I've been through Celexa, Effexor, Cymbalta, Amitryptiline, Nortryptiline, and Prozac in the past (Prozac was the first).  Who knew it would be the old standby that actually works for me?  

My point is: for those suffering from unyielding depression (which, in my case, led to my abuse of prescribed tramadol), there are pharmaceutical options.  I know this is coming from the girl who wanted to never have to put another drug in her body, but if I have to take thyroid hormone every morning so that I don't die...than I am open to taking neurotropic (is that a word?) drugs so that I don't feel like I'm dying.  I'm in therapy, too, but there's just so much going on with me chemically that this was the best option for me.  Denise, I hope you let us know how the clinic went.  TramMan, can you see a psych doc instead of a GP?  I can understand being wary of getting SSRI's from your GP, and for the same reason.  My GP is the one that got me on Cymbalta (which trashed my liver) and addicted to benzos and tramadol.  A good psychiatrist is worth their weight in gold.  

Sorry that was so long -- I'm thinking of all of you, and a big shout out to NoraTorious for her AMAZING RECOVERY!  If you read her old posts (January 2011+), you will see how much she has to brag about, now.  It wasn't easy for her, and it took many months, but she never gave up.  May she be an inspiration to us all. =)

All my love, fighters.  If you were going to give up, you already would've.  But you didn't.  So, raise those swords.

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by DamTram, May 14, 2012
P.S. If I make to 180 days without relapsing, I'm having a party and you're all invited.  Since that's apparently my old ceiling.  That I'm about to turn into DUST.  <3 <3 <3

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by dimafrost, May 15, 2012
OK, let me say that this is the best forum on Earth.  I'm sure no one remembers this but about 2 years ago I joined here and made a post saying that I was quitting Tramadol that day.  I got some amazing feedback and encouragement from the group at the time, even people privately messaging me and wishing me luck, etc.  You people are awesome.  I never returned, out of guilt because my addition never stopped.  I lasted a day and decided it wasn't time yet.  

This is going to be a rather rambly post because I just want to say stuff that I cant say to anyone else in the world.  I keep a lot of things hidden from the whole world, and it makes me feel so alone that I hold these big important things inside of me, afraid to tell even the people I love the most.  The biggest thing is my tramadol addiction.  I have been taking Tramadol every single day for over 3 years and not one person on this Earth knows about it.  Not my family, not any of my closest friends, and not my girlfriend who I live with and love dearly.  For some reason I am just ashamed about it...but I live in deep fear that one day someone will find out.  As a result of this I have no one to talk about this with...no one that knows the fear that I hide about my additiction, my overall health because of my addiction, and my extreme fear of one day having to go through the things that I read about on here.  The times that I have experienced withdrawals for a day or two in the past have scared me beyond belief....enough to make me avoid them at all costs.  But I know I cant take this addiction with me to the grave...and the more I take these devils, the more likely that becomes.

So there are  a few things I just want to "say"...just list out on this forum.  First of all, I would like to document every single bad thing I can think of that Tramadol has done for me...I know ill forget some of it but I'll try to hit most of it:

-Tramadol has completely changed my character.  I used to be outgoing, want to go out and enjoy life and be around people.  Tramadol has made me want to be alone.  My idea of the perfect night is sitting at home ALONE (without even my GF) popping tramadol doing nothing in particular.  I'd like to think that at 28 I'm still relatively young, but now that over 3 years of my 20's has been wasted on this ****, I wonder how much I will regret that when I'm older
-Tramadol has GIVEN me anxiety.  That's right, I never had much anxiety in my life ever.  Not that I didn't have stressful things happen to me or whatever, but I never felt real anxiety, which to me is when you randomly go in a panic for no particular reason at all.  Never knew that feeling until I started taking tramadol.  Now little things can get me on the edge and cause me to panic.  But nothing compares to whenever I might miss a day of tramadol.  That type of anxiety brings me to my knees.  
-Tramadol has made me way too mellow.  I am guessing part of this is the anti-depressant but I no longer get highs or lows.  Everything is just.....ok.  I miss emotions.  I was just thinking the other day that I havent really.....laughed in a long time....probably since i started taking this junk.  Nor have I found enjoyment in many things I used to enjoy.....MUSIC doesnt have nearly the effect it used to have.  You know that great feeling you get when you hear a song that you really enjoy and you just get a rush of happiness....yeah that doesn't happen for me anymore.  The only time it does happen is before i start my tramadol dosing for the day...by that point its maybe been 14-15 hours since my last pill and I can actually feel joy listening to music.  I find myself purposely listening to music during that time period.  I just want to have emotion back.  I know that it will mean the lows come back too but I can live with that...its called living life.
-I wont get too graphic, but my sex life has been destroyed.  I cannot have sex while I'm on tramadol.  So the only time my girlfriend and I can have sex is before I start taking it for the day.  How my girlfriend hasnt figured out why I only wnat to have sex in the morning is beyond me, but its starting to cause some problems because a) that really limits how often we can have sex, as we both have 9-5 M-F jobs, and b) we have decided that we are ready for a child and when you are trying for a kid, there are of course very specific periods that you should have sex to increase your odds.  Now I feel like a POS when I cant do what I'm supposed to when we need me to.  And also (and again without getting too graphic), I just never get in me mood.  Ever.  Not even...you know with myself.  And that's just weird, I'm 28 years old, I should be at or near my sexual peak.
-Money.....how much money have I spent on Tramadol over the last 3 years....way too much for someone who only makes 40k a year.  $115 for 180 pills that somehow only lasts 7-8 days.  4 of those a month, or 50 a year and we're talking almost 6K per year.  For 6,000 a year, I get to have all the crappy things that I described above.  Why?  Why am I doing this?
-My short term memory is shot. Sometimes I forget the simpliest things.  The other day, I was driving with my girlfriend and 2 friends when I got sideswiped by another driver....completely the driver's fault.  Well the police show up and ask me for a statement so I give them it.  They ask me what lane I was in.....I f'ing couldnt remember what lane I was driving in....I said i was in the center lane.  Nope I was in the far right lane.  Because of that, the cop called it a no fault accident and asked me if i was drinking (I wasnt...another thing tramadol has done is made me hate alcohol for some reason).  So now I have to pay for it instead of the other person's insurance.  Overall, I just feel dumber.  And that relates to the next one..
-I feel like I am living in a fog.  My life is a fog.  It just comes and goes living this terrible tramadol burdened existence.  I used to pride myself on my intelligence...and in some ways its there.  But in others, I am a bumbling idiot.  Sometimes I'll be walking down the street and just look up at the sky and I can actually recognize the fog I'm in, and I even think I can see through it briefly, and it feels like I'm opening my eyes for the first time...but overall my life is a giant fog because of this drug.


There's a lot more little things.  Things I notice on occasion and I know it is related to the drug....ugh its just rough.  But for some reason I haven't been 'ready' yet.  That is what I've read...that you won't be able to quit unless you are really ready.  I  know I can't just sit back and wait for it...there has to be some effort on my end.  But I think I'm getting to the point where all those things I listed above and more are circling around me and beginning to close in on me.  I am starting to get fed up to the point where dealing with the physical and mental pain of withdrawals doesn't seem as daunting as continuing to lead this life of addiction.  But what is going to be that final step to get me to quit?  Has it come yet?  I know that I want to quit and I would give every dollar I had to be cleared of this, but am I ready to just suck it up and do it?  I hope so.

I realize that what I am doing is selfish to the people I love and it hurts me that I am living a lie to the people I love.  Especially my girlfriend.  How can I have a baby with her (and marry her which I'm working on) with this lie over my head.  Sometimes I just feel so angry at myself for doing this, but never enough to do something about that anger.  I had the "Baby, I'm a tramadol addict" conversation in my head so many times, but my tramadol "no high no low" attitude shuts me up every time...it tells me 'shut up and take another pill and relax' and suddenly it is more appealing to go back into my fantasy land.

Any support, words of advice, encouragement, etc. would be very helpful. I can't promise you that I'm going to quit tomorrow...and I know that the decision to quit is ultimately going to come from me and not because you guys persuaded me, but I promise you that I will take everything to heart and it will ultimately help me.  Thanks guys

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by dimafrost, May 15, 2012
Oh and 3 more things I just remembered that Tramadol has done 2 me:

1) I now do really weird things in the middle of the night.  For example....I find myself waking up in the middle of the night with one of my arms up in the air.  Seriously, it just sits there high above my head.  My girlfriend says she wakes up and sees this happen 3-4 times a month.  And sometimes my arm collapses because its tired.  One time I hit myself in the nose, another time I knocked an antique picture frame off my nightstand.  How much longer until I start accidently hitting my girlfriend?  I've read this has to do with SNRI use (a component of tramadol as I'm sure most know), so at least I know its not something more serious.

2) I have an intense craving for excessive amounts of sugar.  I seriously down the stuff like crazy.  Way too much.  I have now found myself keeping candy at my bedside to eat when I wake up in the middle of the night.  Do you know how weird that is to half-awakingly unwrapping a Starburst and eating it 2-3 times in a night?  Sometimes I fall asleep as I'm unwrapping one and my girlfriend finds random bits of candy in the bed.  I have no idea if this is something Tramadol related but I believe that it might because its almost an irrational desire for candy...I never had much of a care about sugar, but now I eat excessive amounts constantly..not healthy.

3) Speaking of healthy.....I have probably lost 30 lbs in the 3 years I started taking Tramadol.  People I havent seen in awhile constantly marvel at how much weight I've lost.  I was 220 lbs and am now around 190.  I find myself barely having 2 meals a day because I'm never hungry.  When I eat, I eat until I'm not hungry anymore and then stop.  I have to push myself to eat the required amount of calories.  I hate it

Ugh.

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by TRAMMAN999, May 15, 2012
Hi DamTram,
Tramm here. I have been sitting in this chair with my lap top all day. I am bored, miserable & quite honestly 'suffereing'. That "don't/can't do anything state"  - in a pit !  I do hope Denised is doing better. If you read this Denised, I'm thinking of you  -  keep on keeping on.
Anyway, just happened to flip onto site before I close down.  Many thanks for your words of support  -  came at the right time after the day I have just described. It really is 'one day at a time' ! I am going to the GP tomorrow only because my wife is insisting that " there must be something they can do to help you "! I'm not looking forward to the visit  -  what can one say  - " I'm 3 weeks off Tram after 4 years of use/abuse and I don't feel good  -  what can you do for me "!?  Could be an embarrasing visit. But, let's not be negative  -  he may have something up his sleeve (tramadol maybe !?)  Let's be honest the only actual thing he can do is try an antidepressant  -  and I aint too keen on that ! But, it will pacify my wife if she thinks I'm getting help and then (hopefully) not returning to the Tram.
I will post for yourself and Denised and others to see the result of the visit.

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by DamTram, May 15, 2012
Welcome, Dimafrost!  I don't have a lot of time, but I will try to respond as you requested.  I started taking Tramadol two Augusts ago for Fibromyalgia, but within months was finding myself needing more and more.  It took over my entire life and ruined my dream career, my friendships, and took a severe toll on my family.  I c/t'd two Januaries ago, relapsed in June for 4 weeks, relapsed in November for 5 weeks, and c/t'd my final time in December.  It's been up and down for me, since then, as I've been determined to address the underlying issues that led to my need for and abuse of tramadol.

Like you, I'm 28 and have lost too much because of this drug.  I've been fortunate enough to have been given a fresh start (graduate school in a completely new city), which I almost blew with my 3rd relapse, and a family that has supported me through withdrawal and recovery.  I have no significant other, and haven't for a very long time, and for this I am thankful.  I buried so many of my issues in relationships and love for another person, that I was never able to actualize myself.  I'm taking the time now to do that.  As you may have read above, I started Prozac 2 weeks ago, and it has already done wonders to help all of the negative thoughts and self-hatred that I've been having trouble working out on my own.  

My point is: working to be in control of your own life is worth a billion times the fantasy-land that you feel for a few hours when you're conscious on tramadol.  Being able to wake up in the morning without deep dark depression, without full-body death-like pain, without needing to start popping pills, without the guilt...is worth that week of physical withdrawal, and the return of emotions (both positive and negative).  

Of course you can't quit until you're ready.  But imagine: getting married, having a baby, and then withdrawing...and waking up and realizing that you have completely different feelings, hopes, desires, etc. than you did when you were taking tramadol.  I got into a relationship with someone I thought I was in love with, while taking tramadol, and after 2 weeks of withdrawal...I wasn't even attracted to him.  When you fully withdraw, your entire world is different.  And there are a lot of pieces to pick up, too.  If I had one piece of advice: get off of tramadol before making any serious life decisions.  Another poster here accepted a job in Afghanistan while on tramadol, and then couldn't believe they'd done it after they'd withdrawn from tramadol.  But they still had to go there for a year, leaving their girlfriend behind.  If you're not ready to quit, that's okay.  But I hope, hope, hope you wait for important life decisions until you are off and can evaluate your options with a clear head.  

Unlike you, my whole family knew what was going on.  Even some of my friends.  My only other advice to you is to tell at least one person, at least when you decide to withdraw, so that they can a) hold you accountable for a taper or c/t and b) be there for you when you get sick.  I have a hunch that once you break the spell of keeping this secret (and, therefore, your continued use) to yourself, you will be free to finally BREAK free.  And you will have someone who cares about you supporting you when you do it.

About the sugar - you're correct, that's tramadol related.  I'm not sure that any of us know why, but we've shared countless stories of our sugar usage while on tramadol.  We even found out that most of us were coca-cola addicts. =) If I had to venture a guess, it would be that because tramadol cuts your appetite so much, your body is craving energy to keep going....so you crave sugar.  

Please tell someone.  I know it's horrible and scary and you're afraid of losing people in your life, but tell someone.  If they say eff off (they won't), then tell someone else.  You sound very kind, caring, and intelligent and I bet there are a ton of people who care about you and will not disappear when you confide in them.  Find those people.  Once you have finally had the chance to come out of your secret, you'll be able to decide whether or not you're ready to quit (you sound like you are, but know that you need support to do it).

I'm sorry if I've been pushy or non-helpful....I hope I haven't been either.  Please keep posting!  I know others will come on and help, too.

Tramm - good luck at the GP!!  I was wary of ssris, too, but I'm so glad that I gave them a chance since I was having trouble getting out of the deep, dark depression hole.  I won't be on it forever...but I need to make headway in my well-being, for now.  Let us know how it goes!

All my love.

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by coosa1978, May 15, 2012
OMG dimafrost!  I feel bad laughing at your post about the sugar in bed…I can totally picture myself in that spot too!  I have unnatural cravings for bad sugar…just pure white sugar with a spoon, or anything close to it!  I find it's the worst when I first start the w/d process, but it was really bad when still on tram.  I initially had weight loss while on tram, but have gained 30 lbs in the last few months, since I do nothing but sit in front of a computer all day and want to eat sugar!  My recent victims were a bag of Skittles and the giant box of Nerds.  My scale at home no longer wants to acknowledge my real weight…I just get symbols.

denised must have been in my head and writing out my thoughts, because it sounded exactly like something I would be saying!  I just don't care anymore.  Then I get sad that I don't care because I should care and used to care.  Then I'm pissed that I'm sad and let myself feel like it, so I go eat some more sugar.  I don't have the energy to get up and exercise…the tram was what gave me endless energy to clean the house, exercise…any number of active things.  Did anyone notice if it made you colder?  Sitting outside on a hot summer day wasn't so hard…now I'm sweating sitting still in an air conditioned building.  I'm sure weighing a bazillion pounds from eating sugar isn't helping with the sweats!

I must say I really enjoy reading everyone's experiences on here…makes me feel like I'm at home in my own head.  I can type out whatever I'm feeling and don't have to worry about the zoning out I do when my not-yet-free-from-tram-withdrawals brain seems to turn off while I'm in the middle of a thought.  Like dimafrost, I too prided myself on being smart and having knowledge of what others consider useless knowledge.  I don't even remember learning it, but I know it and can tell you about it.  I know a big part of feeling down and out and bored with life and wanting to take pills to be zoned out and not caring has a lot to do with my job.  I ruined many work relationships over the last 6 years and look bad thinking, "What if?"  But I know I can't go back and need to make amends from here.  But it's hard to be motivated to try something new with huge debt from years of tram use and a crappy paying job that has no future and no motivating force to keep me here each day.  I try to figure out how to skip out of work early every day, because I can't stand being here.  But then, I've got to be a responsible adult.  My daughter asked me yesterday if I quit my job yet and I wish I could say YES!  I know I would have the motivation to find something new because I'd just be out of here!  I can't convince my husband to let me quit yet cuz he's still in his tram haze and I wouldn't want him to be going through the panics of withdrawal and realize when he's out of the tram fog that I'm not bringing in money.  I just want to be out of here, even if it means giving up the house and pool and car and such…even with me working, we don't have enough money.  I know this is totally off topic, but it just came out!  My brain processes haven't yet reconnected properly…but I can say I'm 20 days free!  I'll leave it at that for now.

coosa


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by denised1982, May 15, 2012
dimafrost-- Here ya on the sugar, babe. I would drink like 80 oz. of coke/mtn dew a day. Had the tramafog, I would have conversations which I had no recollection of. It's nuts, I thought I was going crazy.

TRAMMAN- My thoughts are with you. I hope that if you do decide to go through with the AD route I hope they give you something that works. I want you to find the strength in yourself and not worry about being embarrassed about telling the doctor about the Tramadol. As you can see, you're not the only one with this problem. I told my doctor, and it was the first time I ever visited him. I told him that everytime I tried to quit I would turn into a blubbering idiot and I always ran on the depressed side. They have new AD's and they're supposed to help with chronic pain, your SNRIs. They have  Buproprion (NDRI), and the old standbys SSRI and tricyclic/ tetracyclic  and MAOIs ADs.. All kinds of em. If your are looking for something structurally similar to Tram, you could try Venlafaxine (Effexor). I believe that you were using Tram for an anti-depressant anyway, at least that is what I have interpreted from your old posts. Just be careful. Everybody wants to be themselves again, and (at least for me) I feel brain damaged and my neurons are trying to rebuild. That could take a while, upwards to a year or more. I, personally, am tired of feeling like crap all the time, and every aspect of my life right now is suffering, my social life/skills, interpersonal relationships, my job, everything. I mean, I'm not freaking out and having a nervous breakdown, maybe due to the Celexa, or maybe because I think it's only because I can't seem to muster up the strength to do it. Seriously! My life has been turned upside down because of Tramadol! I still haven't recovered! I'm totally tired of waiting!

Tramman, just know that between your wife and all of us, we support and care about you. Doctors aren't put into practice for their judgmental skills, they're supposed to be very objective.  A lot of them are behind the times, and don't realize that it is something of an addictive beast. If your doctor tries to tell you that tram "is not addictive," run like hell, or just say that you have a depressed mood, that you're waiting on motivation and feel like it will never come, you don't feel like doing anything anymore, et al.. if you feel like sparing him/her the tram details/flashbacks. Whatever you decide, we are here for you.



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by Sarabie, May 15, 2012
Dimafrost a big welcome :-)

Apart from the anxiety and the money (in my country tram is very cheap - like 4 dollars for 100 pills)I can relate to every single thing on your list. You are totally where I was when I "peaked". Especially the constant fright of being caught. It's true that you can't stop untill you are ready, but I really hope and pray that you'll stop before you, like me, loose everything. I couldn't find the right time and one day my boyfriend and love of my life, found out. And basically threw me out. So... Living at my parents house, thinking about the whole situation I just suddenly knew it's NOW. If I ever want my love back I had to stop. I hated the woman I'd become and I felt so liberated when the decision was made. I went CT from +20 pills a day and everything came back to me. I suddenly laughed again. Like really laughed. And - pardon my French - I Got sooooo exited and just wanted sex constantly. Oh and the sugar craving increased 200%. So my suggestion is that you stop now. Your libido will be back instantly and you won't have any problems making a baby ;-)

I have to sleep now but you are more than welcome to write to me if you have any questions.

Love Susie

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by TRAMMAN999, May 16, 2012
Hi DamTram &  Denised.
Thanks once again for your support.
Just an update: Just back from GP.   I am very sceptical about GP's and I guess that's why I haven't seen one for a long time.
Anyway, the guy  (acually) listened to all my complaints and problems with Tramadol. Then said that his way of working is to get 'full' blood profile testing thyroid,liver, kidneys etc etc and then if necessary look into the psychiatry side of things. So I guess it's a kind of full health check.
The only problem is (for us addict type people ) is that it is, of course, a process of which will take time; e.g. next Monday blood test  -  then Monday after appointment for outcome of test  -  and where to go next.
I suppose I should be comfortable with that  -  at least  -  " I am being looked after ".
Meanwhile, I'll have to plod on and not obsess about making myself comfortable by taking the dreaded **** ! Who knows I may improve during that time !?
Hugs from Tramm.

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by serenenow, May 16, 2012
Yesterday was not a good day for me.  I had been doing well with tapering, even with a kidney stone and cyst.  I lost track of my count yesterday and went from 12 per day to 16 yesterday.  Today I'm feeling the withdrawal since I made sure I only had the 12 today.  So now I guess I'm going to have to stay on 12 per day for a few more days, and MAKE SURE I don't lose track.  Then taper down more after my body has leveled out.  I so want to just stop and go through the withdrawal but again I don't want to have to endure the pain of withdrawal along with the stone and cyst, all at the same time!  Tram withdrawals alone are hellish!  Not a day goes by that I don't ask myself why did I let the doc prescribed the first script that sent me back on this 6 year roller coaster ride??!!!!!  OK I've been praying alot and working on turning my will and faith over to God to carry me through.  I've been giving myself pep talks when I feel withdrawal between doses, telling myself that the addiction will not prevail any longer.  I must keep tapering and get off this demon pill.  I want my life back more than ever!

Serenenow

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by TRAMMAN999, May 17, 2012
Hi serenenow
Just want to say that I feel for you. I've been there, where you are a number of times (without the stone & cyst). You are really suffering. You sound so determined and brave.
I tried on a number of occasions to taper and found it absolutley inpossible  -  I, like you had abused Tram for a number of years and had reached high dosage  -  very recently came off, if you read my posts above. I came to the conclusion and accepted that I was a slave  - 'addict'   to this stuff because I wasn't strong enough to taper.

Therefore, there was only one way and that was to get into bed and let it all happen  -  my problem is because I am a " weak addict " that I did this to myself a number of times. I therefore knew what would happen when and where each day  -  and it doesn'y get any easier. I wasn't " brave " to just cut them out  -  there was just no other way for me.
That is what I have done this time. If you read my posts you will see, yes I'm over the 4 or 5 days, but I still feel rotten. I'm not a doctor, but I guess I'm going to be rotten for some time because of the heavy abuse.

I think what I am saying here is that if tapering is really bad, like it was for myself you may have to throw in the towel and just cut them out.

However, do not let me sway you  -  if you are stronger and more able than me to taper then keep on doing it. It seems common sense that this is how it should be done; it is kinder to the body & brain and maybe you will not get the nasy after effects that I have had.

I really hope you can keep going and your body does " level out " as you say. If you can get your body to level out, I reckon this is good news.

serenenow, I wish you well  -  keep praying, this in itself will make you stronger. I'm here to support  -  despite the fact that I need support myself.

Keep posting        Hugs        Tramm

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by aperson3432, May 17, 2012
Nice to find this page.  I'm currently in the midst of tram withdrawal, no picnic!!  People who use harder drugs laugh at the idea of withdrawing off tram, but we know otherwise, yes?  This is not my first tram withdrawal, but it will be my last.  I have 5 refills at my local pharmacy, but I called and talked with pharmacist, told her I felt I was becoming addicted, and I wanted the refills deactivated.  So that's a huge plus.  Prior to this withdrawal, I took 150 50mg trams in about 10 days.  Disgusting!!!  This is day 5, 1-4 were awful, and today isn't much better.  I'm ready to stay off these things.  Thi is my first post ever on a discussion board like this, although I've read many boards similar to this.  I just need support, as nobody knows of my addiction, which I know is not a good thing....  God bless you all for what you're (we're) doing.  Tram withdrawal is really bad, I would take hydro (which i used to take prior to tram) w/d any day over this!!!!!!!!  I will check back here really soon.....  Thank you for any support you all might lend..  I just want to know that this w/d won't last forever....

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by denised1982, May 17, 2012
Hey everyone!

People who DO use harder drugs have laughed at me from complaining of the withdrawals from tramadol. I told them that I would rather take any other narcotic full agonist opiate any day over this s hit. They don't seem to believe me.

This is solely my opinion and my opinion only. I am not trying to discourage people from tapering if they can do it, but I feel like at some point you're in constant withdrawals anyway, and I do believe that cold turkey could be the best answer, again, if you can. My reasons are: 1. CT or Taper, you're going to withdrawal anyway, at some point. It's still going to be miserable, and I felt that by tapering down, I was going to feel like crap anyway and I'm the type of addict who would justify taking more. Again, personal preference, not judging anyone who does a taper. 2. CT puts you in a dark place, a really dark place. Since I am a stubborn person, I have to feel like crap from withdrawals just to know that I don't want to go through them again. Glutton for punishment? Yep. That's me. 3. CT from opioids won't kill you, it will just make you feel like you're dying (or wish you were dead)! (in a healthy person, anyway)

Oh yeah, the withdrawals won't last forever, but they are bad. The restless legs and sleep seem to be the worst part of it or the longest part of it. However, it will go away. Just keep on getting mad at tram. It will give you power over never wanting to touch that demon of a pill again.

I still feel horrific but only because I have underlying depression and my pain came back, but today I am feeling better because I believe that one of the reasons why my legs were hurting so bad is because of my IT Band wasn't being stretched. I lift a lot of people at work, kind of like doing deadlifts or squats, and I was looking up stuff on the internet, and I came across Iliotibial Band Syndrome. Anyway, I found some stretches to do, and it seems to have helped. A LOT. I want to get a T.E.N.S. unit again (mine is lost for good) and I want to get a foam roller. The pain reduction is amazing, and it makes me want to get more active. I promised myself if I could just get to feeling better I would do better for myself, like incorporate exercising and eat more fruit and veggies, so I could feel as close to a normal person as I possibly could. I already incorporate a lot of stretching, especially in my legs, and yesterday I went out to the pool and swam around and tried (unsuccessfully) to teach my stepson how to swim. That really seemed to help, too. I forgot how good the cold water makes you feel.

I still need to make an appointment with mental health, but I haven't done that yet. I will, because I want to feel a balance and more alert, and I want to start to live my life in a new direction, away from drugs and all of the negativity in my life. I want to like myself, and most of all I want to believe in myself and know that I won't give up when things get tough in my life. I want to show myself that I am more than capable of going through school and I want to have good things happen to me. I'm tired of feeling like a **** floating through the ocean. I need some good vibes come my way and I need some prayers for all the people who pray. I really really want to turn my life around. I really want good things, I want to get my head and my finances back in order, which I am really trying to do. I don't know what I was waiting on. Scared that I didn't know what to do, I guess, and never finding out how to do it.

Anyway, I guess I will let y'all go. I need to get back in bed and get some sleep, I agreed to come in early tonight to let this other aide off so she can study for her finals. I will talk to y'all later. Love y'all! Keep fighting!

Love,

Denise

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by TRAMMAN999, May 17, 2012
Hi aperson3432,

Just want to say your nearly there ! Please don't cave in now  -  you have been fighting for 5 days  -  please just be careful you don't succumb during the next 5 to 10 days. I say this because this is what I have done (on too many a number of occasions). 1 or 2 pills at this point will most certainly help you sleep and therefore take off some of the symptoms  -  I know this because I did it (more than once). So, I reiterate, as hard as it may be, do not reach out for a Tram to help you  -  a bona fide sleeping pill acceptable.
You ask how long will it last  -  this " physical part " of the withdrwal should come to an end in the next couple of days  -  in theory your brain should be detoxed.
Then, you have to keep on being strong because I can guarantee that cunning drug will want you back.
You have come from a high dosage it seems; so you have proved you are a tough cookie (don't know how long you were taking Tram?).
Please, keep on being that tough cookie  -  you are almost there.
Remember    "When the going gets tough  -  the tough get going " !              ..................      That's  YOU !!
Thinking of you  - tomorrow will be day 6    -   and then it's one day at a time.
[Read some of my posts just above  -  I have recently gone through it (again)]. Day 26.  But, what I have written does not necessarily mean the same will be for you. Everybody is different
Hugs & support               ...........................      Tramm

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by aperson3432, May 17, 2012
thank you for encouragement, tramman.  i am going to use some gabapentin, 300mg capsules for the next couple days.  in my experience, they really help to calm the w/d down.  can't wait to be at day 26, and beyond.  all of you, who are so far along in your recovery, are an inspiration.  i'm going to start exercising, too, on a schwinn recumbent exercise bike.  my diet has been good since starting w/d, treating myself to some chocolate tonight, i read it can help to get some endorphins going. :).  i'm gonna keep up the good fight, could use all the support i can get.  thank you all.

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by aperson3432, May 17, 2012
by the way, been abusing tram for about a year.  was getting 90 a month for about 6 months, and then 60 a month for 6 months.  have used other stuff too, as we all have.  i would get my tram, and it would be gone within a week or so.

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by Flipbit, May 17, 2012
Quick question. How much medicine are you actually getting in the Tramadol ER as opposed to the regular ones? I want to taper using 50 Mg,  but not sure how to go about it after taking the 100 Mg ER dose.

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by Sarabie, May 17, 2012
Welcome aperson

Yeah we know this isn't a picnic! Like Denise I also went CT. Couldn't do it otherwise. Wanted to stop NOW! I've never "done" any other drug or medicine than tramadol so I don't know how bad other WD's are. But I know these are bad. But since you are on day 4 the worst physical WD's will be over soon :-D i pretended (to myself) that I had the flue and spend the worst days in bed with movies, books, Music, sugar and loads of soda. It worked for me, but I was lucky and able to sleep through most of it. You've already taken a huge step and I'm sure you'll be ok soon.

Trammann - you are doing great !!!!! You are in my thoughts.

Serenenow - I did CT so I can't relate to the taper. But from what I've learned from the others they took 4-6 pills off the dose a week and realized that actually wasn't hard. The hardest part is when they are down to just a couple of pills a day. I too have ovarie cysts and a kidney infection on top of it. And it hurts but voltaren helps. Also these days I have a broken kneecap and was offered tram but again the voltaren is sufficient. So perhaps you should just give it a try? Sometimes the thought of pain is worse than the pain itself.

Denise and Damtram - looooove you :-)


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by tdpill, May 18, 2012
Dimafrost - I just had to comment on your post.  I am a 44 year old male and had lots of the same things as you experienced.  I am now free from tram one year this month ( was over 40 tabs on some days...). I did the exact same thing with my arm when I would sleep on my back it would just drift up and hover and I'd crack my knuckleS in my sleep/ tram haze.  Also had the same diminished sex drive - but did the opposite I'd stop taking the tram at 11:00am and be somewhat ok by that evening then down a bunch right after before I'd start feeling symptoms overnight.  I know where you are right now I hid it for 8 years and the firt few years of marriage.  You can beat it, I feel much better now a year removed.  Sarabie, Denise, damtram,legal junky, and a few others been following your stories too in lurk mode.  Stay strong and keep up the fight!

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by serenenow, May 18, 2012
TRAMMAN999 I appreciate your support and I look up to you in the fact that you are doing this CT.  I'm going to give the tapering one more shot and if I can't do it this time then I'm going to have to go CT.  Hopefully by the time I get to where I can get off them, the stone and cyst will have resolved itself.  YOU keep hanging in there and kicking this nasty addiction and I will do the same.

tdpill I can so relate to the hiding it for so many years.  I've kept this hidden from my family and fiance for 6 years but I think at times they wondered if something was going on.  I've been able to hide it behind the stones and what-not using them for the excuse to have to be on something.  It totally ***** having to lie because I honestly don't know how my family and fiance would react if I told them the truth.  Perhaps if I'd spoken up in the beginning before it all got out of control but I can't go back on that now.  I do know that I so have that desire to really get off these things and I'm working hard on that, which to me, is huge since I've not really had this much determination to get off them in the past.  

Thank you all for your support.

Serenenow

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by serenenow, May 18, 2012
I meant to add that I too had been up to over 20 pills a day and 180 tablets wouldn't even last 2 weeks, sometimes not even a week.  So the daily dosage did spike at times.  I don't know how I've not killed myself doing that, especially when having surgery and being put under but not telling the doc about what was already in my system.  I feel that I've been given another opportunity to get off these things by still being alive!!!  It's crazy when I look back at all the times when I could have easily died from an overdose.  Not something I take lightly today.

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by tramodoll, May 18, 2012
I am trying to taper too.  I take about 200mg a day.  I am hoping to taper off by the 4 day weekend I have at the end of the month.  I don't know if this is going to be sufficient time or not....guess I will find out.  

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by serenenow, May 19, 2012
Why do you not know if this will be a sufficient time or not tramodoll?

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by ribs2k, May 19, 2012
Hi all,
I have been posting in the regular substance abuse forum but i wanted specific Tramadol support and or suggestions. I am finishing up treatment for cancer and also have been 30 days off of OXY. On day 21 I got a tramadol prescription from my dr. It really helped with the anxiety and I took too many. Now I plan on tapering over a week, and jumping off during the 3 day weekend. I am nervous and scared. The anxiety is the worse part for me.
Thanks for readin,
Randy

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by janice25, May 19, 2012
is there anyone that can help me with a taper shcedule for tramadol? I have been on it off and on for years. i take 500mgs every day, i tried cold turkey and man it's awful.

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by aperson3432, May 20, 2012
day 8 is here of no tram, feeling just kinda bleh..  but not horrible, like i said, the gabapentin 300mg helps, and i have a couple .5mg clonazepam.   trying my best to eat healthy, been getting walks, though it's much too hot today to even want to venture out.  will start the exercise bike in next couple days.  been taking multi-vitamin, energy level is low.  gabapentin and kpin help for sleep, have a feeling insomnia is going to start setting in soon....  keep me in your thoughts guys... encourage me to keep fighting the good fight!

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by abigail3, May 20, 2012
Im actually amazed at how terrible I feel! I have used all opiates but tramadol has been my fav. The energy and the easy going feeling was wonderful. What wasnt so great were the 2 gran mal seizures I had in front of my ENTIRE family. Time to stop. Should be easy right? Wow I was so wrong. The RLS is the worst. I dont know if I can keep it up ladies but I will try my hardest. I hate this addiction.

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by abigail3, May 20, 2012
Keep it up aperson!

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by abigail3, May 21, 2012
Well I havent slipped. But is it normal to obsess about those ungodly little pills? I still feel like crap and im so panicky. But I thonk its so hard to know what wouldake me feel better is in mu bathroom. Shoild I flush them? Driving me nuts!

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by denised1982, May 21, 2012
janice25- we cannot give out instructions on how to taper, because we are not doctors. I have heard of 25% reduction for 5 days then 25% more 5 days later until you're down to 0 % (I think), but that's just what I have heard. I can't share with you my particular experience, because I went cold turkey, I knew I was going to feel like crap anyway for a long time, so I was able to find someone to work for me a lot of days during my withdrawal. I also went to my GP and got on an antidepressant to counter-act the horrid brain zaps that I knew I would experience.  I am sure that there may be a tapering plan on the internet somewhere. If not, just give your doc a call. I hope you find what works best for you. Good luck!!!!!

abigail3- Yes, these demonic little pills lower your seizure threshold. I am so sorry you had 2 tonic-clonics in front of God and everybody, it must have been scary for them, you probably didn't realize what was going on. YES, they make you feel good energy and they will zap the life out of you and leave you wishing for dead. I say FLUSH THOSE LITTLE F*CKERS! Why? You're essentially prolonging the inevitable. Something short-circuited in your brain, you seized out, and they aren't good for you anymore? The bad news? You're in for a nasty little ride. RLS and insomnia are the worst, the last things to get better it seems, especially when you're so desperately trying to get to sleep. The good news?! Is there any?! YES. You are on the way to getting this BS drug out of your life, and it's going to put you through hell, and with hell, you're going to get REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL AAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYY and rage an all out war with this drug. You will find out that you're better than obsessing about when to take your next pill and you won't have to schedule your life around it. YOU WILL BE FREE!!!!!!!!! AND, YOU WILL WIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  You will feel wrecked for a week or two, and PAWS ***** too, and it seems to last forever, but in that it will teach you a lot about yourself, and when you think you're so desperate and in despair and you want to give in, you will press on.

aperson- You are doing so amazing. We all should take an example from you, you are doing the right thing. Always take care of yourself. Keep it up, you owe it to yourself. :)

ribs2k- congrats on your time away from oxy! Congrats on kicking tramadol! I personally would rather take a good Oxy habit than a tram habit any day. I know that may sound stupid, but tram was my DOC, but I would chip at OxyC when I could find it, amongst other things. I think you're doing great, and let us know if your cancer is under control. Prayers for you.



If I missed anybody else, I am sorry. It's just that so many people are getting off of this nasty little drug and we have an influx of newbies! If y'all want off the crap, you have come to the right place. Welcome all!

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by serenenow, May 22, 2012
I'm still on these nasty SOB's.  I know the time is getting closer to where I'm just going to have to go CT.  I can't seem to do the wean down and I honestly can't afford to keep buying the pills to taper off with.  I'm a full time college student...that should tell you everything.  I've made it aware to everyone around me that I will be going through withdrawals soon so now I won't have to try and hide it.  Hiding it makes it way too hard to endure the symptoms themselves so maybe I can get through this easier than my attempts to in the past.  I will definitely post on the day I stop and keep you updated with my progress.

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by DamTram, May 23, 2012
Medhelp hasn't let me been posting...this is from days ago.  Hope it's still relevant.

Welcome, new survivors!  

Janice (and others?), we can't (legally) give taper advice.  I've tapered off every other medication I've ever been on (SSRI's, SNRI's, benzos), but I cold-turkey'd with tramadol.  I relapsed twice, so I've CT'd 3 times.  I could never taper this stuff, because the withdrawal symptoms from tapering are so similar to the withdrawal of finally stopping (which I've heard is the same, regardless of CT or a taper).  I think, psychologically, some people have gained psychological strength from the taper - feeling like they are controlling the drug, and not otherwise.  Some report that the final withdrawal was not bad after a taper, but most agree that it's the same misery as CT.  As we've said above, it is completely up to what you and your body want to do/can do.  There is no proper schedule for tapering, since it's all about listening to your body and knowing when it's ready for a dose decrease, or if it needs to maintain the current dose for awhile.  Because we all have different BMI's, overall health, and other medicine or mental statuses, it's vitally important that you follow your body on a taper schedule (or cold turkey, if that's what you decide).  Unfortunately, doctors can't even give a proper taper schedule, since they don't even know this is addictive (most doctors, not all).  I'm sorry my advice isn't more helpful, but really: you will figure out a taper schedule that's most appropriate to you, your body, and your life.

Ribs - Things that helped me with anxiety were powdered magnesium (that you put in water), GABA, Valerian Root, and maybe Kava Kava Root.  But I'm pretty sure that the Kava Kava made me feel weird, but I'm not certain.  But the other three - they helped OODLES!  Congratulations on your fight against the big C - I'm so glad you're rewarding yourself by getting off this ugly drug.

Tramodoll - The worst days for me were days 2 and 3.  You won't feel great at day 5, but I believe you will be functional.  The first time that I withdrew, I could barely do anything for 7 days.  But on day 5, I did leave the house and bought a guitar.  I even played it for awhile.  After day 4, though, things really do get better.

Tdpill - Congratulations on your year of freedom!  Thank you for sticking around with us. =) How does it feel to be a year out?

Flipbit - I only took the ER's (100) for a couple of days, once, and it was during a period of sobriety.  It affected me much differently than regular, tramadol 50mg.  Because of the extended release, there wasn't a usual rush and I didn't feel the need to take more and more.  All in all, I have NO idea how a change from ER to regular will affect you, nor do I know how getting off of the ER will be different than getting off of regular release.  My only concern is that the regular tramadol has a much greater potential for abuse than ER, because it drives you to take more and more.  I know when tapering off of benzodiazepines, I've read that you are supposed to switch to a longer-acting benzo first (like valium), and then taper off of that to ease withdrawal.  I'm curious if it's the same with tramadol ER.  Is there a doctor you can ask?

aperson - you're doing great!!  Lyrica (like gabapentin) helped me very much, but be careful - it requires a taper when you want to stop taking it (if you've taken it consistently).  The exercise will ease your withdrawal much faster, so good work!  Each day will be better than the last.

Denise - I hope you get that appointment, soon, and that you're feeling better!

Susie - I love you toooooo. =)

Tramman - You hangin in there? It's so great of you to support those in earlier stages of withdrawal than you, and it's so nice for me to be able to come here and read your posts.  Keep it up! =)

As for me, I was supposed to double my prozac dose when I began to feel PMDD symptoms, but it made me soooo sick.  My sister was here for this week (staying with my parents, but she only visits twice/year), and I could barely do anything because of nausea.  I'm going to try the 20mg, again, and hope that I can survive the rest of this academic quarter.  I will say, it feels GREAT not having panic attacks or getting upset about nothing and everything, all the time.  It's also helped tons with my energy.  I'm glad I gave an SSRI a chance, and I don't want to give up on it, yet.  

Fight on, fighters!


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by tramodoll, May 23, 2012
Thanks DamTram!

I will probably be on here a lot this weekend.  I told my family that I will probably be in bed all weekend from the w/d (just in case).

Right now, I am at work, so I'd better get back to it.

Wish me luck!!!


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by Icandothis10, May 23, 2012
hello all - I am back.  I hope everyone is doing well.  I am at home now and left work because I was throwing up.  I ran out of tram and a shipment I was expecting didn't make it.  It didn't make it because the online pharmacies are extremely shady.  I was weaning from 30+ a day and thank god when I came home from overseas, wasn't back up to that again.  When the order didn't come, I told myself that there is a four day weekend coming up and i should take advantage of it.  I took my very last tram last night and felt surprisingly good all day.  For everyone's info on here, that whole thing about the ingredient in immodium, loperamide, being an opiate, i really don't know.  i do know one thing, it works and it works very well.  It took ALL of my nasty withdrawals away.  I have a little bit of a foggy head, a little tired and was throwing up this morning due to the mixture of crap I was taking (magnesium, tyrosine, advil, etc.) but all day yesterday, my FIRST day in 5 years of not taking a tram at least 3 times a day, I was pretty much fine.  I'm telling you, go to walmart, or Sams and get the large bottles of generic Immodium and pop it.  Be careful, it does stop you up but I'll take that any day over the HELL of w/d's.  I came home today, will probably go in a couple hours tomorrow and then it's a four day weekend and I will ensure I take full advantage of being able to be home and relax.  I feel good now.  I also realized that dramamine will help as well.  I really hope it has the same effect on ALL of you that it does me.  It helps!  I was able to function and function fine

I contacted the stupid company and it's so funny how shady and dirty they are.  Can't get them on the phone, if you hit up their live chat, you get some generic "Jane Doe" helping you only to get no help at all.  They told me that maybe the pharmacies are having a hard time keeping stock of tram.  Ya'll, I sounded like a desperate addict.  I was so ashamed of myself.  I sat back and told myself that I knew it wouldn't be easy to come across this crap forever.  It will soon be nearly impossible to obtain if you're like me, an online pharmacy person.  I can't do it anymore....I can't be a slave to this.  I've gotten into trouble at work, I've completely changed and not cared about anything but this crap....this is no way to live life

I know many of you work full time, I really am amazed that some of you went through CT w/d's at work.  One thing I can't do and I just spent 5 months in Kuwait.  

Suzi - How long did you say it was until you got out of bed and moved on?  I know booba did a CT from 25+ and that's just amazing.  

For the taperers, I was able to taper....however, it was too easy here and there to take a couple more and tell yourself that it's just that once.  

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by denised1982, May 23, 2012
Icandothis- loperamide used to be a schedule IV narcotic until they realized that it only works on your peripheral opiate receptors. The molecule of loperamide actually DOES cross the BBB, but it is immediately kicked out because of p-glycoprotein. Everyone thinks that it's such a large molecule that it doesn't cross the blood-brain barrier, but it does. I've done an experiment on myself with it. I downed a 72 bottle of lope one time on it's own and 3-4 hours later, I went from having regular sized pupils to pin-point pupils, and I was feeling rather decent. Yeah, don't ever do that, by the way. Not the smartest of all plans, but I was in withdrawal, so I was desperate. I had to take magnesium a few times a couple of days later, that's for sure, but I made it okay.

On my way to mental health to fill out paperwork and make an appointment. If I have to pull a crazy to get one quicker, I ain't skurd.

Love,
Denise

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by Icandothis10, May 23, 2012
Thanks Denise - wow, that's a lot of lope!  That's also interesting info.  I did read that we have to also wean off it.  However, if i can jump ship on crappy tram, I think I'll be just fine with the lope.  I do know that it will get me through this.  

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by serenenow, May 24, 2012
I did not do well with the withdrawals and I'm only taking 12 per day.  So I'm back on them.  The withdrawals are so flipping painful!  After going through the hell of that for 24 hours and knowing I can't keep doing this merry-go-round of taper, withdrawal, taper, withdrawal, I've decided that I can discipline myself enough to taper off.  I'd rather go through mild withdrawal from tapering off then the hells bells of a withdrawal going c/t.  I don't have a full time job and still couldn't make it through 24 hours.  I'm hoping if I get tapered town to at least 6 per day I can go c/t.  I used to be over 20+ per day so I feel I've came a long way already.

Keeping on keeping on to the rest of you who are doing it c/t.  I admire your determination.

Will keep you posted.

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by goatfarmer, May 24, 2012
HELP I can't seem to get lower then 4 a day without EXTREME anxiety! I cut back even 1/4 and I get anxiety by the 2nd 3rd day and it lasts for days! but then I take that extra 1/4 and it doesn't let up even after that! I was on like 8-10  a day and tapered which went well until I hit 4. I have visteril anyone know if that would help? I will not and cannot cold turkey it because I am not strong enough and know that the w/d will scare the hell outa me and I will just go back on them! Tapering is easier I think but dang its hell when you get to the lower doses! Its wild! I feel like I drank a gallon of coffee in one sitting, short of breath, blood pressure feels up, headache and jittery! What the heck! Its scares me! I am thinking of seeing a psychyatrist. My issue is I am pregnant and my doctor thinks cutting back 1 pill a week is just fine and doable! Well it was at first but not so much anymore! She is fine with me taking low doses of it through the whole pregnancy as she has had patients on it and remarkably baby doesn't usually have w/d unless high doses like over 8 or so. But I cant bare the thought of putting a baby through this just in case! She knows how much I want to get off though and I am determined! I am thinking of asking for visteril since my friend was on that while pg for anxiety! I don't want to take a antianxiety or antidepressant while pg. Please PLEASE do not judge me! This was a surprise! huge surprise! we are happy about it but because of meds terrified even though dr reassures me that all is well.   HOW do you get off the lower doses and I have to do it safely because dr said bad anxiety can effect pregnancy as well! Maybe if I just deal with the anxiety for a few days it will go away? and then taper again? It just seems so unbearable! its really the main symptom I have!  I may try magnesium suppelements with dr approval of course. She is only in two days a week so I have to ask her next time I see her she is SO busy! Its not for another few weeks. I may call and ask for visteril though since I have heard this is safe in pregnancy! OYE! this is such a predicimant! :( I am damned if I do and damned if i don't! Ugh.

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by denised1982, May 24, 2012
goatfarmer-- congratulations on your pregnancy! how far along are you? I hope that you are successful on your taper... if you can continue on your taper you just have to cut back lower than that every week. Like- maybe 10% of your dose every 2 weeks? I don't know... DamTram-can you give her some insight about this? I would say just go cold turkey, but being pregnant you don't want that stess on your baby. I did read a study on prozac for snri discontinuation syndrome. Um.. I read about the doctor prescribing the patient prozac for a week only then getting off of AD's for good from that. I don't think you need to see a psychiatrist at this point, just your ob/gyn can help you with that. I would say continue on your taper, and express your thoughts and concerns about the discontinuation syndrome to the doctor. Tram is molecularly similar to effexor, an snri, and prozac should help with the snri discontinuation syndrome. That includes anxiety, mood swings, brain zaps, feeling like a zombie, etc. Again, clear that with your doctor, it didn't state on the study that the subjects were pregnant. I have a friend who just had a beautiful healthy baby girl and was on snri pristiq the entire pregnancy because she said she couldn't go off of it without the brain zaps. So, trust in your ob/gyn that this should come with the same outcome. Take care of yourself as best as you can nutritionally and continue your taper and reduce as little as you can until you stabilize is all the advice I can give you. Good luck, and everything is going to be okay! :)

Hugs,

Denise

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by Sarabie, May 24, 2012
Willi Icandothis I'm SO happy to hear from you and to hear you went CT. I remember 6 month ago I suggested you should go CT and you were convinced it couldn't be done and look at you know :-D I'm so proud of you. Yeah I went CT from 24 pills a day. I did however taper for 5 days first. From 24 to 16 to 8 to 4 to 0 as far as I remember. I'm not totally sure now. When I reached 0 I went to bed and stayed for about 3 days. I didn't have W/D's untill I reached 0. That's why I don't really think the extra 20 pills does anything. While we pop those pills we seek the same feeling of happiness they used to give us but no matter how many we take it doesn't happen. It just makes us zombies. Living dead. I guess that's why they are pretty easy to get off but the last little dose is hard and gives us WD's.

Anyways I think you are so cool. You took a great choice. From now on you won't ever have to worry about shipments, online pharmacies etc again :-D so a couple of days in bed perhaps and then you'll be fine physically as you've done a slow taper. It took my body weeks to gain full strengh again. But you'll do much better I'm sure :-D

I'm not so active these days. I broke my kneecap and spend my days sitting in the garden, painting, reading, enjoying the Sun. Summer rocks :-D (despite of the itchy cast from toes to hip).

Love Susie

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by Sarabie, May 24, 2012
Goatfarmer : first of all, congratulations :-D!! Wonderfull news. Second of all, I'm not judging you at all. But I am really judging that incompetent doctor of yours. It's not ok to use tramadol when pregnant. I'll translate the pamphlet that's on every package of tramadol here in Denmark (the rules here are VERY strickt. Every side effect must be put in the pamphlet - also it says that tramadol is very addictive. I wonder when the American doctors will learn). Anyways it says:

Do NOT use tramadol if you are pregnant. The opiod affects the fetus and it's development. Do NOT use tramadol while breastfeeding.

Makes sense. A brain not fully developed getting tramadol will not produce dopamins and serotonin which can mean a whole life with depression and anxiety. So please please please do a CT. If you are scared of the WD's then remember your baby will have to go through them if you continue. I'm really sorry you are in such a dilemma :-( and I must admit that I'm really angry with your doctor. Unfortunately tram is a relatively new drug and the doctors don't follow the development. Many of them still believe it's a harmless drug. It was also like that in Denmark a few years ago but now they know. Still it's better that strong opiates but that doesn't mean it's harmless. Especially not for a fetus.

Well I'll pray that you find the strengh to quit but I know it's tough!!!
Love Susie

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by Icandothis10, May 24, 2012
Susie, I hate to disappoint you and I feel like I let you down.  I had a shipment come today.  Let me explain though.  This one is definitely different because instead of me hiding it in my purse, it's on the counter for my husband to hole and count.  I did well yesterday HOWEVER, I took A LOT and I mean A LOT of loperamide.  The vertigo and zaps got bad last night.  I was able to get sleep and the lope worked well....BUT please remember, I'm in the military and guess what I have coming up next month...yes, that's right, my physical training test.  I have to begin vigorous exercise.  I can't just relax and deal with the zaps/anxiety for a month because I need to be prepping for my test.  I did do well, but i STILL need to be able to function normally.  i know i kind of fell off the wagon, i honestly still believe that tapering very slowly is the only .  i did get down from 25+ to 2.  But it has to be slow and non-hurried.  I had no problems with the slight w/d's but there is just absolutely NO way I can do full blown....no way.  I'll get there.  My husband is fully aware this iS the last bottle and i also made a promiste to a friend of mine while I was in Kuwait.  i did very well out there getting down to one and did ok last night but again....with the help of LOTS of lope.  I can't take a military PT test on lope and there is no way to function without it.  I thank you Susie...I really am envious of everyone who can do the C/T thing.  Even if I had two weeks off, I still couldn't do it.

I also realize that it's a complete pain trying to get these things.  I can't be home to sign for a package d=uring the day, the online dealers (pharmacies) are shady and crooked.  I don't want to do it anymore.  i have my last bottle.  

Goatfarmer - judge?  nobody here will judge for you for anything.  I am not doctor but I honestly feel that it's safer for your fetus to take enough Tram to stabalize you (along with multi vits and other things that are good for you) because going through w/d is basically shock and that cannot be good for your baby.  All that sweating, anxiety, sweating, depression even vomiting...and the list goes on and on.  All that horror as well as the mental anguish and stress.  There is no way that can be good for the fetus.  I personally would take as little as you can to feel normal and drink water.  

G

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by aperson3432, May 25, 2012
the last time i took a tram was saturday, may 12th.  approaching two weeks, feeling okay, but not normal.  let me ask this: has anyone else had vivid nightmares while detoxing?

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by denised1982, May 26, 2012
goatfarmer -  I totally agree with icandothis. When you're pregnant, they don't even want  you to CT off of cigarettes, because it's too much shock for the baby. There is no judgement here, thank God, or I wouldn't be here, and this is a vital part of being sober.  I think that just do a slow taper, but do taper. If you can't handle one pill less per week, do less. If you can't even handle 1/4 of a pill less, go for 1/8. Get a pill splitter and cut them into quarters, I guess. Then cut a few 1/4 in half. Take your 3 trams and see if you can stabilize on 1/8 less if 1/4 is too much for you. You have to do what your body is most comfortable with, especially being pregnant, but you do need to quit. I know you are scared. The point is you have got to get your body stabilized while tapering.

aperson- I had vivid dreams, but not nightmares. I wasn't sleeping all that good at two weeks, I still have troubles now sleeping. I really still have very weird dreams, whereas before while on tramadol I don't remember dreaming too much at all.
Congrats on your coming up two weeks! I'm glad you're feeling okay, but it will take a while to feel normal, best thing is to eat well and exercise, you know, take care of yourself, take in a lot of amino acids or protein supplements and healthy fats to help repair your brain, like fish oil, astaxanthin, CoQ10, veggies, antioxidants, fruits, all that happy horsesh*t.

Icandothis- I'm glad you are really starting to beat that monkey off your back, it's really good that your husband supports you and you can taper down to 2, that's amazing. I think that tram is not the worst drug in the world, however, it isn't as innocent as what most doctors who write it out like candy seem to think it is. I believe that you being able to gain control back with the lope is amazing. If you do take a lot of lope, the tramadol is not binding to your opiate receptors at all, the lope does have a blockade effect in large doses and you are basically giving yourself the tramadol for the snri effect. Case in point, your brain zaps. Classic snri discontination syndrome symptom. Would you ever be able to get on an snri while being in the military? I know if you have preexisting depression prior to going to MEPS they don't want to ship you off, but after being in for so long and your deployment? I only MEP'd in and didn't ship off, because I hurt my S/I joint and couldn't exercise and couldn't get my 2 pounds of fat off and couldn't ship.  I was delayed entry in the army reserves, so I was drilling on weekends while I was in high school. Anyway, I'm not sure how that works with getting on an AD in the military, I can't imagine them saying anything about it, but, meh, you never know. Even prozac would kill the brain zaps, and you can take the prozac for like a week and the long half-life would carry you over a few weeks, by that time the brain zaps should stop anyway.  

Anyway, I'm still alive, still kickin, have cramps, but all is well. Makes my legs hurt. I hate that sh*t. ugh. fart.

Love,

Denise

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by serenenow, May 26, 2012
OK quite honestly I don't feel I'm receiving much support on this forum.  Maybe I'll try another.

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by denised1982, May 26, 2012
Serenow- don't leave. I'm sorry that you feel like you weren't being supported. I feel like such a jerk. You are doing wonderfully cutting back to 6 a day. I hope that your taper goes as smoothly as possible. I mostly lurk around here and put in my two cents every now and again. You aren't being ignored! Keep up the fight! And congratulations!

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by Icandothis10, May 28, 2012
Serene, I apologize that you feel that you're not getting any support.  I guess my question is, what do you consider support?  This is a place for people with a common problem to come and vent, say what's on their mind and talk about what is hurting them.  Nobody here can tell you what to do, give medical advice or take all your problems away.  I've had nothing BUT support from these people here, love, respect, no judgement and I've met all kinds of friends.  I've also been gone, was unable to post for a long time due to being deployed, I popped back up here and wahlah, I'm still part of the family.  People here can only give their own experiences, tell you what may have or may have not worked for them and hope whatever you experiment with will work for you,

Again, sorry that you don't feel right here, I'm a very negative person with no friends and all I know is everyone here is my friend.

Denise - Girl, 4.5 more years in the military and I is DUN!!!  I did get my last bottle in and I will be weaning, weaning, weaning all the way down and the reason being is that I HAVE to do physical activity for PT tests.  I didn't know you were working on the Army reserve!  The military has been good to me!  However, I will be happy to be done at 20.  I don't want them to put me on anything at all.....I'm scared of everything I've read.  I read a forum where some people were on basic prozac and they went to stop and their brain zaps were SO bad.

Anyway, enough about me!  How are you feeling?  How is your pain.  I had a question for you because I was thinking of you the other day....have you taken motrin 800 mg WITH tylenol?  Did you know that mixing them has a narcotic effect and works wonders?  A mil doc told me that once.

last day of a long weekend....bummer

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by serenenow, May 29, 2012
I guess I just felt as if no one was reading my recent posts.  I'm still on 12 per day and needing to cut down more.  Quite honestly, I just recently missed a court date for a traffic fine and didn't know I had a warrant for my arrest.  Needless to say, the day before court, when I decided to come home, lol, I got picked up and had to spend the night in jail.  Didn't have the money for bail.  I noticed I was having some strong withdrawals throughout the night.  Some people who have never experienced Tramadol withdrawal because they've either never been on it and/or believe everything the docs say about it shouldn't causing withdrawal because it's a non-narcotic...yeah right lol, were telling me I shouldn't be having withdrawals and if I were to have them, it wouldn't be for a couple of days after I'd stopped.  

I don't believe that theory.  I noticed them almost immediately after a couple of hours after not having any in my system.  I've managed to stay on the 12 for the last few days without talking myself into taking "just 2 more."  I was up with my grandson all night last night and really didn't feel any major withdrawals throughout the night so I'm thinking that I may just be beginning to get to the other side of this mess!



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by DamTram, May 29, 2012
Hello, Friends!  Denise, did you send me a message this weekend?  I couldn't tell if it was you.

No judgments, not ever!  I feel so badly for you, Goat Farmer, since the doctors here are still so confused about Tramadol and, therefore, so are we.  I've never read anything about getting off while pregnant, but the opiates do make me quite worried.  When you see your doc, I would highlight the point that it IS a narcotic, and what would s/he advise for someone on vicodin AND an snri while pregnant?  Because that's what tramadol is, so anyone that can explain the effect of being on an opiate and AD during a pregnancy will be able to advise about this.  I'll try to do some research myself, but I hope that you get some answers soon.  Sending you strength!

Icandothis and Serene - I feel like quitting a substance begins not when you've stopped taking it for good, but when you've realized that what you want, above all, is to stop taking it for good.  It's the folks who are no longer sure that life without Tramadol is worth living that maybe have not yet moved into recovery...even if they've actually stopped taking it.  I don't mean to imply anyone in this forum (the fact that you are HERE is proof that you WANT to get off!); I mean those that aren't even ready to start the process.  You are listening to your bodies, and that's all you can do.  Keep up the great work!  You're moving mountains!

aperson - congrats!!  I know you're serving as an inspiration to several in this forum, as we speak.  

I'm sorry if I've left anyone out.  Finals are upon me, and I'm going cocoa puffs.  But I'm soooo grateful for the Prozac; if this is what 'normal' people feel like all the time, then I understand how they can do things like...teach, go out after work, stay up late on weekends, read for pleasure.  It's depressing to me that I wasn't able to be 'normal' on my own, but my thyroid will never be normal, either.  I'm just glad that I can focus on my work, have the energy to complete my work, enjoy spending time with others, not have to go to bed at 8pm, and have a clean apartment.  And not cry, all the time.  AND, for those of you keeping track of my boring life, I went through my cycle this month WITHOUT getting suicidal or crying!! The day I got my period, I felt icky (which I hadn't for weeks), but then was okay.  If you think you have PMDD, I hiiiighly recommend trying an SSRI.  Not having to worry about becoming suicidal at the same time every month is QUITE freeing.

Anyway, back to work.  Thinking of all of you and sending strength!

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by DamTram, May 29, 2012
Oh, and...it's comforting that I can't CONSIDER  relapse, since I would send myself into Seratonin Syndrome, what with the Prozac.  Like an ankle bracelet, if you will. ;)

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by denised1982, May 29, 2012
Yes that was me damtram I texted you :) I was just wondering what you were doing I haven't heard from you in a while...

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by honorbounddane, May 29, 2012
hello all,
well its been about 3 months or so since i wrote on here. still clean thank god. 8 months and counting. its really nice to see the people that i quit with around the same time to stil be helping out with peoples recovery, like sarabie, damtram, denised, i think i also quit around the same time as tramman but havent seen his posts, i know that sarabie beat me by a couple days but hey whos counting. oh yeah, we all are. for all the new faces, hang in there, it ***** for awhile but it gets better and then you get to actually have a life without the constant worry of running out, going thru withdrawals, etc. it *****, i know, ive been there many times. but you just have to take it one sec at a time, than hour, than day, than week, and by the time you start hitting the months, you are doing awesome. im sure that everyone has already heard about what to take to ease the withdrawals, cause ive been saying it for months as to what helped me, so i wont go into it. all i do have to say is listen, be patient and be strong. i deff feel for the tapering ones, ive seen a couple on here that have been "tapering" for months now. just do it, get it out of your system now. when you get thru the ct part, you can do anything. it is sooo much more worth it. i work as an MA and a phlebotomist and i see all the junkie pill poppers come in for their fix, i feel bad for them, some of them, cause for some, it isnt their fault, but for others it is. things are handing you a way out of that life, such as this forum, and they dont want to take it. we used to be like those people, some cause of the high, or the pain, but most was for the fear of the withdrawal. thats what it was for me at the end. oh yes, i had some major pain issues, but once i finally got off the chain of tramadol, my pain wasnt nearly as bad as it was on it.
well good luck to those starting out, be strong, and know you have support. for those helping the others, bless you.
oh. ps. has anyone had any remembering issues, like you totally forgot things, conversations, names, etc. and i mean like someone pulled it out of your head that it ever happened type of memory issues? started happening to me 2 weeks out of the fog.

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by Sarabie, May 29, 2012
Haha honorbounddane WE are counting :-D but congrats. 250 days is awesome for both of us. It's a milestone. Anyways are you actually Danish or ? For så kan vi da lige skrive lidt dansk hihi ;-)

Serenenow - wow what a shock being arrested for a parking ticket. Well I've spend a night in jail too a couple of years ago where the police thought we were hooligans and had beaten up a group of foreigners, which is pretty funny cause we are the only group of casuals being 100% against violence and racism. Well it's a European soccer thing and not important here. My point is - I Got WD's too. Perhaps more so cause I knew I couldn't get my tram. But I took a chance and asked the cops for my kidney medicine in my purse and he gave me my trams. I said it was anti biotics :-D how are you doing now??

Well summer has come to Denmark for real. I have an art exhibition in 5 days, so I'm painting All day long. It'll be a challange to get to Copenhagen with 20 paintings and a leg in a cast. Luckily people are very helpfull in the train etc. Oh and I just got an iPad so life is good :-D

Denise, damtram, ican - you know you are in my thoughts.

Love Susie

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by aperson3432, May 29, 2012
can honestly say none since may 12th 10pm.  feeling pretty well today!

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by aperson3432, May 29, 2012
tramadol withdrawal is not easy, no sugar coating.  it's hard.

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by aperson3432, May 30, 2012
but it is doable.  i've had some things to help me, 1 8mg suboxone, some benzos, and gabapentin.  don't underestimate the power of gaba to help quell W/D.  i've experienced W/D without these aids, and it's still doable, but it really *****.  walking has been helping my mind, still haven't started up on the ol' exercise bike yet.  i'm at day 18, and it feels damn good to say that.  keep up the good fight, everyone.  **** tramadol!

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by serenenow, May 30, 2012
I really wish I could just deal with the withdrawals.  I'm getting ready to go back to work since I'm completely out of money.  I'm living at my mother's house, mainly because of a relationship that ended and I lost my apartment and belongings when I moved in with him in the first place.  My mom is ailing at times with her health and she has a big home and yard with lots of work always needing done.  I know these sound like excuses but to be honest, no one around me believes that Tramadol should cause withdrawals.  Even though my mother knows I've been addicted to it in the past!  The 12 step recovery program I attend on a weekly basis, with a sponsor and what not, has folks in it who think that because Tramadol is a non-narcotic I shouldn't get addicted to it.  Including my sponsor!  Crazy isn't it?  You would think that those who are there to get recovery from addiction would understand that once we become addicts, our bodies do not care if the pharmacuetical companies try to tell us that this drug is non-narcotic and we shouldn't get addicted to it!

I honestly believe there are more addicts in this 12 step fellowship that have experienced the same problems with Tramadol as we have but are afraid to speak up about it because of it being labeled non-narcotic.  I had a sponsee who relapsed because she went through withdrawal when she got off of it and ended up using narcotics to deal with the withdrawal.  My boyfriend who has been in this fellowship for almost 13 years doesn't make things much easier in that respect either.  He has not had to be on any pain meds for very long since the day he got clean so he's not had to experience what I or any of you have experienced.  I do not tell him about what is going on with me because he can be very judgmental for the same reason I stated above.  That is the last thing I need right now.  I love him but I don't like his way of thinking at times.

I will continue with the tapering because when I withdrawal, it irritates my menopause symptoms and magnifies them 100x's and I DEFINITELY do not need those symptoms on top of withdrawal!

I've managed to stay at 12 per day and just received another prescription of 120 pills so I have become very disciplined at doing this...especially through the help of this forum.  Just by reading what others go through gives me faith!  It's been 3 or 4 days at remaining at a specific doseage, and coming down from 20-25 per day to this is huge for me.  I've even noticed I'm already beginning to feel somewhat like myself again after all this time.  I've missed me! LOL

Thank you all for your support.  Those of you who have gone c/t keep up the good work, you inspire me.  Same for those who are tapering along with me.

Much love and support.



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by aperson3432, May 30, 2012
good job, serene.  keep going at ur own pace.  i went c/t, which is for real stupid.  but i don't have the discipline to taper, so right on to you!!  keep it up.  keep posting.  

i called pharmacy and had them "deactivate" my remaining refills, so i don't have access to them.  

like i said, i had a few aids along the way, but it still *****.  and i've done a c/t with no aids in the past, i know what it's like.  abused tram for close to a year, have messed with opiates for quite a few years....  i can say on day 18, i'm feeling pretty good!  slept decently last night.  just keep up the hard work with the tapering, serene.  love to all, keep fightin.

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by serenenow, May 30, 2012
I will and yo do the same aperson3432.

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by mrmeaty, May 30, 2012
I need some advice from others who have been through this....

Here is my story:  I started taking Ultram in 2001 for recreation, 2 months into it I was addicted.  It's been almost non-stop for 11 years.  I quit cold turkey in 2003 and lasted for 1 month before going back on the drug because the withdrawal symptoms never ended.  Everyday I would wake up and hope I would feel better but didn't.  I was taking 16 pills a day from 2003 to 2010.  In 2010 I tapered myself down to 6 pills a day.  I April of this year I started tapering myself off and I am now down to 1 pill a day.  Other than having no energy I have felt pretty good through this process and am even sleeping good.   I feel as if I stopped taking them today I would be OK but I am really scared.  I get anxiety thinking about it.  I have 2 pills left and am wondering if I should see the doctor to get a few more to taper to 1/2 pill a day.  Has anyone here had success tapering?  I also want to mention I have been hiding my addiction from my wife this whole time.  I felt as if she would leave and take my 2 kids with her so a detox program wasn't an option.  I came clean to her in April (after she caught me taking a few pills) but it was a blessing in disguise.  She has been surprisingly supportive but I was still given an ultimatum of getting clean by the end of the summer or my marriage is over.  

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by honorbounddane, May 30, 2012
Sarabie- mine bedsteforældre kom her efter krigen, så im ikke fra danmark selv, men vi kan forsøge at tale på dansk, min er lidt rusten dog, så længe du kan bære over med det, end vi kan forsøge

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by Sarabie, May 30, 2012
Honorbounddane - jeg er meget imponeret!!! Flot dansk fra en som aldrig har boet her :-) hvis du har lyst, kan vi maile lidt. Er altid sjovt at "møde" en dansker i USA.

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by Sarabie, May 30, 2012
Mrmeaty - welcome :-D !!! I myself went CT so I don't know much about tapering but I can tell you that I think you are doing great!!!! It's really an accomplishent to taper from 16 to 1. I know from others in here that they Cut the pills in half when getting off the last ones. And if you feel anxious I personally think you should get a small package with 20 pills if that's possible. Cut in halves there would be plenty for your taper but not enough to get tempted to just "pop a few".

Serenenow - it really is a tough journey but you are almost there. Just keep fighting!!!

Love Susie

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by denised1982, Jun 01, 2012
Hey everyone,

I got off of my AD again, I just don't feel like it is doing me much good.  It makes me pretty stoic, flat affect, the "fukitol pill" as I like to call it.

Doing some research on healthier lifestyle. Following this lady on youtube, leansecrets. She is awesome and looks amazing. I am trying to get everything (still) in my life together financially, because I feel that is the most important right at the moment, then I'll buy a little bit here, a little bit there... I am thinking about buying the 5-htp and saying screw it to my AD. I don't like the "I don't feel like doing anything, including sex" attitude. My poor husband, now he thinks he's repulsive. That's not it! The 5-htp is not supposed to cause the sexual side effects. I may try the GABA, start getting rid of wheat in my diet, drink some green smoothies, start going to the farmer's market every weekend and getting grass fed free range stuff, buy as much organic crap as I can afford or just soak fresh fruit in some vinegar. :) I hope I remember this. I am so wishy washy but I am so sick of the way my body has been, so I guess I have to treat it better so it can treat me better.  I have to dig deep and get some motivation. ...  Anyway, I like being strong, I like feeling good, I like having energy... So... Time to do something.

Everyone, keep up the fight, be strong, dig deeper..

Love,

Denise


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by denised1982, Jun 02, 2012
Well, after 3 days without my Celexa, I started to get really dizzy, so last night I took only 10 mgs instead of my usual dose of 20 mg. I felt so much better with taking 10 mg than I do with 20 mg... I don't have that "I don't give a sh*t, I want to go to bed, leave me alone cuz I don't care" attitude... I felt like a had a bit more energy as well, I felt more "normal". It felt really good.

Oh.. I bought a foam roller from the health and fitness section of walmart earlier this week too, to help massage and stretch myself out, especially with my legs where I have the most problems with! BEST little $15 investment I have ever made! I popped ALL my vertebrae in my back and it felt so mother-loving good! I have had fewer aches and pains and a little more energy this week..

It really has been a while, and it's taken all of 6 months to start to feel better. I'm really happy, really really happy that this day has come. I hope that I'm starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel, because I was very desperate and just waiting in limbo to feel better. I actually feel like I'm happy. Been in a decent mood last night and today, I feel lighter in my chest. I'm soo so excited I just want to cry! For joy! I am tearing up right now because I thought I lost that part of me forever, and it's finally starting to come back, like I'm being me again. I got a whole lot worse before I got better, and I was so lost in despair and I thought I was gone forever, it's so hard losing yourself to your addictions and fears and learned helplessness.  I actually feel like I CAN accomplish somethings in my life, and I actually feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest and I suddenly feel like everything just may be okay.

Everyone, if yall still feel bad, just hang in there. I thought I was definitely permanently brain damaged but after the last couple of days something kind of clicked, kind of changed for the better, I feel like I'm gaining my control back, and I feel like it's going to be okay to live a little longer, to press on and fight a little harder, that everything wrong is starting to work out and being undone. It will happen to you, and I totally lost all faith and gave up on myself. I would wake up and be mad because I actually woke up and didn't die in my sleep... I would never take my own life on purpose, but I was feeling so damn miserable and in pain and depressed because of it and I have been an irrational, irritable person to be around. I just want yall to know if that's how yall feel, just hang on a little longer, it will lift, it will get better, the channel will change. We will be here for you, and we all love you here, just hold on.. :)

Keep fighting!

Love,

Denise

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by DamTram, Jun 04, 2012
Go, Denise!

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by aperson3432, Jun 04, 2012
23 days clear of tram!  let's keep the good vibes going on this thread, people!  we can do it!  we can/are beating this!  we're all in this together!  exercise is vitally important!  eat healthy with me!  laugh with me!  pull out your favorite funny television show or movie, and laugh out loud, makes me feel great!!!  everyone should post something positive here once a day, including me!!  let's make each other feel good about stopping/weaning off tramadol!  23 days feels great.  getting decent sleep, have def had the stomach issues, and hope it will subside shortly.  i feel great today, though.  exercise bike is becoming a good friend of mine, recumbent schwinn.  literally get "high" doing it.  i get about 15-20 minutes into it, and can feel an insanely good rush.  i do 30 minutes at a time, sometimes twice a day.  been walking a hell of a lot, as well.


i need support, i need you guys to tell me to keep it up, to not give up!  although, i have no access to tram, which is great!.  i had 5 refills of 90, and like i said, had them "deactivated", meaning they are now unable to be filled.  this thread has been an inspiration to me, but i haven't been posting enough, and am going to do my best to change that.  i have it bookmarked, so i do check it at least once a day, hoping to see new posts.  we all understand what each other is going through, and we all need to be vocal in our encouragement of one another.  

keep up the good fight, everyone.          serenenow, how are you doing?  

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by serenenow, Jun 05, 2012
I back slid a bit!  Caught myself going up to 18 pills over the weekend so now I have maybe 25 left.  I guess it's time to really buckle down since I do not have the funds to keep purchasing them on the internet.  I'm going to cut down to 6 per day for a couple of days then 3 per day.  Hopefully I will still be able to handle the withdrawal this way.  It's so easy to slip up when I get a script of 120 pills.  I'm so financially screwed because of these pills that it's long over due time to get off of the M Effers!  Alot of the time I keep having these thoughts that I won't feel good as a person if I go off of them and I keep forgetting how happy I was when I wasn't on them!  That's the nature of this addiction!  It does suck.  You keep up the good fight too aperson3432.  I can't wait to be able to say I have 23 days off of the tram!

Hugs,

Serenenow

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by DamTram, Jun 05, 2012
Serene,

Going down that quickly will be as horrible as stopping completely, but you will continue your cycle of freaking yourself out with how bad withdrawal is and dragging it out with a 'taper', and getting back on.  Are you happy on tramadol?  You mention that it's hard to remember that you will feel good off of them, but do you feel good on them?  Honestly, the only way you will get through a withdrawal or taper is to want nothing BUT a life without Tramadol.  You have to hate, hate, hate what Tramadol has done to you, your life, and the people around you.  If you don't, a successful taper or withdrawal will most likely end up in a relapse.  You have a choice to make: life or death.  Tramadol is killing you and killing your will to kill IT.  I see absolutely no difference between Tramadol addiction and possession by the devil (despite my agnosticism).  You are NOT in control, anymore....but you DO have a choice.  Possession by the devil leaves you only to the hands of exorcists.  You need to be your own exorcist, if you want to live.  

I'm sorry if I'm being blunt, but it makes me want to cry watching you go through this.  Do you think a heroin addict can taper off of heroin?  No.  And this is no different.  As long as you're getting your fix, you will fear withdrawal.  Every time you swallow one more pill, fear wins another point.  But what do you have to fear?  FOUR BAD DAYS.  Four days of the worst flu, ever.  But a flu in which you get to regain the beat of your heart and HEAR IT, a flu where music takes on a spiritual flavor, where food HAS flavor and you have a hunger to eat it!  After those four days, every single day you get to watch how powerful you are as you get stronger and stronger.  Look at aperson!  Just 3 weeks out, and back on an intense exercise regimen.  

But you have to want to live, because right now your dying and NOT in a metaphorical sense.  Your organs are working overtime processing chemicals they shouldn't be, your nervous system is trying to cope with mass amounts of neurotransmitters that it shouldn't be, and without a functional body or brain...what is left?  I don't doubt that you're still functional, but the way this drug works...things will keep getting worse.  You are on high doses, and if you go down and then up again, you WILL have a seizure.  

Again, I'm so sorry to preach.  But when I got off this ****, I pledged to do everything in my power to get others off and keep as many people from ever starting it as I can.  I want you to live, to rediscover you and your life, the way that the rest of us worked to do.

And remember: four days of the worst flu ever, or a life of increasing pain and sickness.

Whether you get off or not, we will ALWAYS be here for you.  I am not the praying kind, but know that you're in my thoughts of strength.

6 months clean for me, tomorrow.  This is the longest I've been clean since I was first prescribed this poison in August 2010.  I'm so grateful for 3 second chances.  The third was the last.  If I go back again, I know it'll be because I want to take myself to my grave.

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by aperson3432, Jun 06, 2012
^^^^^^ well said.  i am not going to preach or lecture, i was taking high doses, 10-15/day.  never had a seizure, what there were times i would "jerk", so i'm probably very lucky and blessed to have never had one.  

i agree with damtram.  you don't seem to be able to wean, just like the rest of us.    it will hurt, for a couple days, a week even, but everyday gets a little better after day 7.  read into home remedies to help calm w/d.  loperamide is a great weapon, i would stock up.  when you can eat, try to eat some nutritious things.  when able, get some walking in.

do u have a PCP?  i would go to him/her and ask for some gabapentin.  it works wonders for w/d.  

i, and i'm sure many others, will be here for you during this process.  this is the beginning of day 25, and i'm feeling good.  and you will too.  no pain, no gain... right?

you can do this serene.  look at all the people who are 6 months in.  they did it!  i'm almost at a month!  we will encourage u.  

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by serenenow, Jun 06, 2012
Thank you all for your honesty.  I teared up just reading your posts.  Since I don't have the funds to purchase anymore it looks like I'm going to be going through withdrawals anyway.  I hate Tramadol. I hate what it has done to my life.  When the severe withdrawals hit is when I feel I can't make it through.  I've cut down with what I have left and hoping the withdrawals will not be so intense.  I don't have a PCP because I have no insurance to get one.  I agree with this going up and down with weaning.  It's killing me.  I worry that I will have a heart attack or something since my father passed away young with heart problems back in 09.  

I am so grateful for all your support.  I will keep posting and taking your advice!

hugs,

Serenenow.

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by serenenow, Jun 06, 2012
The doc called in my last script of 30 pills so that means I have 50 in which to wean with.  I've taken two at 7 and two at 9 a.m. Then down to 1 every 2 hours instead of 2 every 2 hours, not to exceed 10 in a day.  I went for a walk with the dog and it did seem to feel good.  I know this is a dramatic cut since I'd gotten back up to 15-18 per day but I am going to try doing it this way for a few days then gradually cut down every few days.  This may or may not work but I have to give it a try.  When the day comes that I'm out maybe the withdrawals won't be so bad.  Grant it I'm not expecting a smooth detox.  Just hoping for a better one than in the past.  I know I've got to get off these damn things for good and NEVER get back on them for ANY reason.  Me living with my mother, in the house I've used pills in for several years isn't helping my situation.  I've made plans to move out when I go back to school in August.  It will be at that time I will have the money to do so.  I know I need to get off the dam tram before I begin receiving an income again or I will end up right back where I was with the dosage.  

Thank you all.

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by holagirl907, Jun 06, 2012
I went cold turkey and it was not easy, but it is worse just thinking about it.  I tried tapering and never could.  I finally just handed the pills over to my husband, and told him to get rid of them!

I am on day 11 now, and feeling pretty good.  Started sleeping better.

If I can do this, you can do this!!   I love life without a foggy brain.  :)

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by aperson3432, Jun 06, 2012
serene, how did a doc caall in 30 if you don't have a PCP?  try really hard to wean, you're gonna have to jump off eventually.  when you get to day 7, you will be so proud of yourself!!!!!  i'm here for you.

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by DamTram, Jun 06, 2012
Serene, aperson, and hola girl...I'm so proud of you guys!  All in different places, and all with the right heads on your shoulders.

Serene and aperson, the danger of seizures is when you've dropped your dosage for a little while and then have a day where you end up taking your old, usual dose (e.g., ~18).  I was on much, much higher doses than you by the time I quit...never had a seizure, but knew that if I tried to quit and then started back up at my cessation dose, a seizure would happen, for sure.  Just be careful, Serene...you're doing GREAT!!  I teared up as I was writing that post to you.  I wish there were something that I could do to make your situation easier and more conducive for withdrawal.  But then I remember that the truth is: withdrawal is horrible (no matter how you go about it) and there is NEVER a good time to do.  Life is just one crisis after another, and even a calm in the storms becomes a reason to use...so you can 'enjoy' it.  And in terms of environment (e.g., being in the house in which you've used for so long), it really doesn't matter.  If anything, it's a) easier to detox somewhere you know well and are comfortable, and where someone can care for you, and b) if you detox or are even a few months into recovery when you move, the strangeness and loneliness can become reasons to use, anyway.  Like I said, you are doing FANTASTIC.  This is something you want, and you will be so happy when you've made it happen.  Also, in terms of environment, it's really empowering to be in the place where you DID use for years, but are now sober and can see it with new eyes and feel like you're IN control when you're there...for the first time in a long time.

aperson, great work on keeping with your promise to stop by every day!  As the months go by, you'll need it less and less...but we forget how important it is to come back: both for ourselves (to STAY off those devils) and for others who need to hear what life is like on the other side.

SIX MONTHS CLEAN!!!!!!!  I DID IT!!

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by serenenow, Jun 07, 2012
I have an OB/GYN I recently seen for a cyst that I still have.  My insurance lapsed in March but the OB/GYN had not caught on to that when I saw them in May.  Talk about unmanageability!  Sheeesh!  DamTram, my mother will not take care of me.  In fact it's being around her that makes me feel like I can't go cold turkey in fear of being judged.  The thing with my mom, she's on pain pills as well but lies straight to my face about it.  She had multiple shoulder surgeries.  I know this because she left her pills out one day and of course I see a prescription bottle and I will look at it!  She tells me she has all this pain and won't take anymore narcotics, while the whole time I know she's lying.  So I get that resentment going and can't focus on what I need to do for myself!  There are days where I feel that if I were back in my own place I could withdrawal and not be judged.  My mom is going out of town today so I may be able to do this, providing my sister doesn't come back home from her boyfriend's with all the kids the two of them have.  Yeah it does suck and I should focus on the main purpose for getting off these things.  
I did manage to get down to 12 last night without suffering horribly.  Today it's going to have to go down even further and again with no one at the house I may just be able to do this.  Especially when the day comes where I want to scream out loud at the addiction and what not!  I do know that when I'm stressed, the withdrawals are intensified, as are my menopause symptoms.  So the peace and quietness of the house may just do the trick!  Congrats on six months DamTram!  

Hugs,

Serenenow.

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by aperson3432, Jun 07, 2012
how is everybody doing today?  i'm feeling pretty darn good.  keep it up guys/gals


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by superman20, Jun 07, 2012
Hello All,

I am new to this forum, but have gained much support from reading these stories (and other stories from other forums regarding Tramadol addiction).

I was addicted to Tram for about 5 years or so. I would take roughly 8-10 50mg a day (give or take, depending on the day) and loved the energy and euphoria they gave me. However, after a couple of months of consistent use, they messed with my moods, my personal motivations, energy levels and I would have periods of time where I would sleep for 14 hours a day sometimes (to name a few of the adverse effects). It became a horrible cycle and I didn't realize how much I lost myself to this drug, which I was taking for a knee injury.

I ct'd this past March due to an illness where I needed to be hospitalized and used the dilaudid and hydro to help with the HORRIBLE withdrawal symptoms, which consisted of lethargy, restless leg syndrome, anxiety, sleeplessness, dysphoria and depression.

I know that there are many factors that are in play in my continued struggle after coming off tramadol. Since I was ill, my diet was pretty restrictive, so I was not getting very many calories, which further effected my "recovery" both mentally and physically. I was also unable to start exercising to help my mood and serotonin levels, which I knew would help (eventually).

Now, I am struggling with some depression, some mild anxiety (which could be because of my lack of productivity) lack of motivation, lethargy and general feeling of uselessness. I am trying to push myself by going outside for a little bit each day for exercise, but the depression grabs me and it is paralyzing. I am also dealing with the repercussions from many of the choices and behaviors I made/lived. My family and friends do not know of my struggle, however, my depression and malaise is getting pretty obvious and I feel like I need to "come clean" to them. This dirty little drug makes you feel like you are a criminal! I know that I have to live down my choices and behaviors while I was on tramadol, but it seems almost wrong to be feeling like a criminal when you were prescribed this drug by a doctor!

I am a little "woe is me" right now, but I was NOT this way before I started taking the tramadol and am getting really frustrated, which compounds everything. I am (or was) an extremely extroverted, energetic, positive, warm person who always smiled. I also had a good work ethic. Now, I only "see" this person in parts, if at all, and would almost characterize myself in the opposite way :(

I am planning on going to a doctor about the continued struggles, but was wondering two things: first, does anyone know if this depression "thing" last forever? Has anyone else had the same sort of struggle(s) going into month 3 of ct? Are there any recommendations for herbal remedies as I do not want to just start taking a bunch of other drugs to combat this "issue."

Oh, and I love all of the nicknames for tramadol-"tramadevil" is my favorite! So stinking true!

Thanks for all of your stories! They have been very insightful and encouraging :)

Superman20

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by serenenow, Jun 07, 2012
Superman20 welcome to the forum!  I can absolutely relate with you as far as feeling like a "criminal."  I feel like one every single day.  I've been on them for 6 years now and I'm getting ready to go CT.  I have a small script left that I'm using to hopefully wean down some so that the w/d's aren't as bad.  I know it's going to be bad regardless though.  One thing that has helped me is the support of this forum.  I so very badly want my life back and now that I have the house to myself for the next couple of weeks and won't have to be concerned with the chaos that goes on in it, I get to focus on getting through the w/d's once and for all.  I do know that they won't last.  I've gotten off of the tram in the past, was off of them for 4 years when I allowed the doc to prescribe them to me for a kidney stone.  It's been pure hell ever since.  I do remember that I went through withdrawals for maybe a week at the most.  What's a week out of 6 dang years?!  I hate waking up everyday having to take them knowing that the day will come when I have to get more, then have to worry about where I'm going to get the money, and so on with this endless insane cycle!  I remember the days when I could wake up feeling good and not having to reach into my purse to get a couple to calm down the withdrawals I started experiencing throughout the night.  The freedom from active addiction is my focus so I seriously hope to achieve getting clean from them this time around.

Hang in there Superman20!

Hugs,
Serenenow

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by denised1982, Jun 08, 2012
Restless Legs Syndrome

Proposed Natural Treatments | References

Principal Proposed Natural Treatments
  • None
Other Proposed Natural Treatments
  • Folate; Iron; Magnesium; Vitamin B12; Vitamin C; Vitamin E

People with restless legs syndrome (RLS) often feel an intense urge to move their legs, particularly when sitting still or trying to fall asleep. Unlike those with nighttime leg cramps—a different condition—people with RLS don’t experience pain. Instead, they may describe an uncomfortable "creepy-crawly sensation" inside their legs. Walking relieves the symptoms, but as soon as people settle down again, the urge to move recurs. The feeling is sometimes described as "wanting to ride a bicycle under the covers."

RLS tends to run in families, often emerging or worsening with age. People with RLS frequently have another condition as well, called periodic leg movements in sleep (PLMS). People with PLMS kick their legs frequently during the night, disrupting their own sleep and that of their bed partner.

Since RLS is occasionally linked to other serious diseases, it’s advisable to see a doctor if you have symptoms.

Conventional medical treatment for RLS usually involves taking a levodopa-carbidopa combination, better known as a treatment for Parkinson’s disease. The drug quinine has been used in the past, but one double-blind study found no benefit.1

Because of this and a risk of dangerous side effects, quinine is no longer used for this purpose.

Proposed Natural Treatments

Preliminary evidence suggests that symptoms of RLS may be relieved by supplementation with one of several minerals or vitamins, including magnesium, folate, iron, and vitamin E. However, as yet there are no double-blind studies to support these treatments; therefore, their use remains speculative. (For information on why such studies are essential, see Why Does This Database Rely on Double-blind Studies?)
Magnesium

Preliminary studies suggest that supplemental magnesium may be helpful for RLS, even when magnesium levels are normal.2,3  An open study of 10 people with insomnia related to RLS or periodic leg movements in sleep found that their sleep improved significantly when they took magnesium nightly for 4 to 6 weeks.4  However, open studies are extremely unreliable because they do not factor out the placebo effect. Also, no double-blind studies on magnesium for RLS have been reported.
Folate

Based on numerous case reports of improvement, folate is also sometimes recommended for RLS. Symptoms decreased in one study of 45 patients given 5 to 30 mg of folate daily.5  However, again this was not a double-blind experiment; therefore, the meaningfulness of the results are questionable. Keep in mind that such high doses of folate should be administered only under medical supervision.

Folate taken in nutritional doses may be of benefit to pregnant women with RLS who are deficient in this vitamin.6
Iron

A number of studies have linked RLS to low levels of iron in the blood.7  In one analysis of the medical records of 27 people with RLS, those with the most severe symptoms had lower-than-average levels of serum ferritin, one measure of iron deficiency.8  In another study in which 18 elderly people with RLS were compared with 18 elderly people without the condition, those with RLS also had reduced levels of serum ferritin.9  When 15 of these people were given iron, all but one experienced a reduction in symptoms. Those with the lowest initial ferritin levels improved the most. However, once more, these were not double-blind studies, so the results cannot be trusted.

In contrast to these results, a double-blind study of 28 people found that iron didn’t relieve RLS any better than placebo.10  However, in this particular study, participants had normal levels of iron on average. The study didn’t effectively measure whether iron might help RLS among people with iron deficiency.

One theory holds that mild iron deficiency may cause RLS by decreasing the amount of a neurotransmitter called dopamine. This theory is supported by findings that conventional drugs which increase dopamine activity (such as the Parkinson’s disease medication mentioned above) can also alleviate RLS.11

The bottom line: Iron supplements might be useful for people with RLS who are also deficient in iron, but this has not been proven. Still, if you're deficient in iron, that is worth correcting. Note that tests for anemia won’t necessarily pick up the low-grade iron deficiency that is linked to RLS. For that purpose, you'll need tests that specifically evaluate iron levels, such as ferritin, serum iron, and total iron-binding capacity.
Vitamin E

Vitamin E has also been proposed for this condition. In one report, seven out of nine people with RLS given 400 to 800 IU daily of vitamin E experienced virtually complete control of symptoms, while the other two had partial relief.12  Other anecdotal reports suggest that vitamin C may be useful, and that vitamin B12 may benefit people with RLS who are deficient in this nutrient.13,14  However, while these reports may sound good, again they mean next to nothing because they were not double-blind studies.
References[ - ]

1. O'Keeffe ST. Restless legs syndrome. A review. Arch Intern Med. 1996;156:243-248.

2. Hornyak M, Voderholzer U, Hohagen F, et al. Magnesium therapy for periodic leg movements-related insomnia and restless legs syndrome: An open pilot study. Sleep. 1998;21:501-505.

3. Popoviciu L, Asgian B, Delast-Popoviciu D, et al. Clinical, EEG, electromyographic and polysomnographic studies in restless legs syndrome caused by magnesium deficiency. Rom J Neurol Psychiatry. 1993;31:55-61.

4. Hornyak M, Voderholzer U, Hohagen F, et al. Magnesium therapy for periodic leg movements-related insomnia and restless legs syndrome: An open pilot study. Sleep. 1998;21:501-505.

5. Botez MI. Folate deficiency and neurological disorders in adults. Med Hypotheses. 1976;2:135-140.

6. O’Keeffe ST. Restless legs syndrome. A review. Arch Intern Med. 1996;156:243-248.

7. O’Keeffe ST. Restless legs syndrome. A review. Arch Intern Med. 1996;156:243-248.

8. Sun ER, Chen CA, Ho G, et al. Iron and the restless legs syndrome. Sleep. 1998;21:371-377.

9. O’Keefe ST, Gavin K, Lavan JN. Iron status and restless legs syndrome in the elderly. Age Ageing. 1994;23: 200-203.

10. Davis **, Rajput A, Rajput ML, et al. A randomized, double-blind, placebo-controlled trial of iron in restless legs syndrome. Eur Neurol. 2000;43:70-75.

11. Sun ER, Chen CA, Ho G, et al. Iron and the restless legs syndrome. Sleep. 1998;21:371-377.

12. Ayres S Jr, Mihan R. Restless legs syndrome: response to vitamin E. J Appl Nutr. 1973;25:8-15.

13. O’Keeffe ST. Restless legs syndrome. A review. Arch Intern Med. 1996;156:243-248.

14. Silber MH. Restless legs syndrome. Mayo Clin Proc. 1997;72:261-264.

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by denised1982, Jun 08, 2012
DamTram---- 6 MONTHS CLEAN! SIX MONTHS CLEAN!!! I'm proud of you, darlin! I really am! Isn't it great being free?
If we can do it, so can everyone else!

serenenow- I am glad that you hate tramadol, and you hate what it has done to your life. I feel like you have to find a real hate and anger for this drug in order to stay the f*ck away from it. If it didn't have that NMDA antagonism and SNRI activity, it would probably be okay, but it's not, so it is crap! It just messes up your brain so bad and makes you hurt worse and go crazy, but it is going to happen whether or not you taper or go cold turkey. Go to the store, buy you some immodium, magnesium maleate, quality protein powder (jay robb is good, you can find it at gnc..) maybe try some BCAA's, fish oil, GABA's good, 5-htp's good, all that good stuff... if your nauseous, there's ginger, ginger ale(i drank almost a 2 liter of that last night because i got sick to my stomach and threw up... worked great!) and you will probably have to keep hydrated through the worst part of your w/d's... it's horrible but it puts you in your place and i think that's so important.. always remember what it did to you during w/d's to keep from relapsing!

aperson- keep up the good work, you are truly a prime example of what good nutrition and exercise does for your body.. I am so proud of you...

superman--darlin', have you read my "woe is me posts?" I'm feeling pretty good nowadays, but this just happened and I am at the 6 month mark.. I have also been on anti-depressants since I went CT... As far as herbal supplements, maybe you need to go onto that iHerb website and take a ganders at NeuroScience, Inc. ExcitaPlus.. I was thinking about trying it out for myself when I get the funds to do so, but I will probably just wind up with a script for Wellbutrin XL instead.. The motivation and feeling like the walking dead (no bath salts included) all but encompassed me.. and that stayed with me for about 6 months.. I know exactly how you feel, and you feel like you have permanent brain damage.. just hang in there, it will get better.

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by DamTram, Jun 08, 2012
Superman - I, too, had long-lasting, crippling depression.  But, as I've said here before, it was there before I was prescribed Tramadol and the Tramadol just masked it.  Once you are done with acute withdrawal, you are left not only with the depression from before but, as you've said, all of the anxiety and sadness related to the bad things that happened during your tramadol use.  Aside from whatever Tramadol did to your neural chemistry, it left you with a different life and the same issues you had before you started.  

I suffered for 5 months, taking 5-HTP and GABA, exercising, cutting sugar out of my diet...but I still had debilitating depression symptoms, particularly during PMSing, when it would turn into suicidality.  I finally, despite my desire to get off of all pharmaceuticals, asked to see a psychiatrist and began taking Prozac (I'd taken it once many years ago, but had tried Cymbalta, Effexor, nortriptyline, amitriptyline, etc. over the years).

I cannot emphasize HOW MUCH my life has improved in the last 4 weeks.  I don't care if I have to take this for the rest of my life - it has improved all of my Fibromyalgia, depressive, and anxiety symptoms TO A BILLIONTH DEGREE.  I have not had a panic attack in that entire time, I have energy throughout the day, I haven't felt like crying in that time, I am able to concentrate on and complete my work, and I feel like I'm in control of my interpersonal interactions.  

It occurred to me, "Oh.  This is what normal people feel like.  This is how they have enough energy and will to go out on weeknights and stay up past 10pm."

The depression is real, and it was probably there well before Tramadol.  It's been masked so long, you end up having lost your old coping skills and are feeling it all at once.  I will I'd started an SSRI much, much sooner and not suffered so long.  In the end, though, at least I know I made the right choice for me.

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by serenenow, Jun 09, 2012
Hello all,

I'm doing ok today.  Been going through some withdrawal but not too intense yet.  Yesterday I took 11 pills, today it will be less.  Tommorrow will be the last of them.  Having the pins and needles, buzzing, lack of focus and concentration feelings but I'm actually starting to feel that I can get to the other side of this.  I'm so looking forward to not having to be a part of the insanity of this stupid drug and the active disease of addiction!  Will keep you posted.

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by aperson3432, Jun 09, 2012
time to get tough, serene.  it's going to be difficult, but don't give in, don't give up..

check in here for support and encouragement.  

we all believe in you!!!!!!

today is day #28 for me, and i'm doing well!!!!

go serenenow!!!!!

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by DamTram, Jun 10, 2012
Go, serene!!  Go aperson!  Congratulations on one month!  Serene, you are SO CLOSE to the other side!  I'm so glad that you can see it!

I have 2 serious final papers due in the next 4 days, and I'm sort of freaking out.  If I don't post for awhile, know that I'm thinking of all of you and sending strength!

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by aperson3432, Jun 10, 2012
check in, serene.  one week from today you are going to be feeling much better!!!!

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by serenenow, Jun 10, 2012
Thanks for the support,

Today was the last of them.  I haven't had any since 3:30 p.m.  Feeling sick but I also have a sore throat and chest congestion so I'm dealing with an actual illness on top of it.  I've gotten some things to help with the flu like symptoms, nausea and such.

I am doing it this time!  I can see the otherside as well and I'm so ready for it.  I don't feel too terribly bad right now.  I've told others I'm coming down with the flu so at least I will have some support in that respect.  Just by my saying that, I've convinced myself, it's just the flu.  As suggested earlier in the forum.

Will check in tomorrow which will be day 1 :).  Can't wait to put that clean time thingy on my status!

Hugs,

Serenenow

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by aperson3432, Jun 10, 2012
i remember having a sore throat and cough at beginning of my w/d.  did you get some loperamide?  will help you a lot...

we're all rooting for you..  i'm telling you, it gets better each day after one week.  focus on one week right now.

you have all of my support!!!!!  please check in.  congrats to EVERYONE who has chosen to get of this s h i t.

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by DamTram, Jun 11, 2012
Yea, Serene!!!! Kill the beast!

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by DamTram, Jun 11, 2012
Yea, Serene!!!! Kill the beast!

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by epoc, Jun 11, 2012
Hey guys, I've been reading this thread as well as the older versions for awhile now and I figured it is finally time for me to join as well. I'll start by telling you a bit about my history:

From 2002 to 2010 I was addicted to high dose benzos. Over the years my average was probably 6mg of Klonopin. I tried multiple times to quit and I finally succeeded quitting in April of 2010 (cold turkey) after multiple seizures and other terrible effects. After 2 years my benzo withdrawal is all but gone.

Sometime after quitting benzos I got on Ultram at around 300mg/day (I was on it off and on during the benzo years as well). It started to have terrible side effects such as aggression and other mood swings so I decided I needed to get off pills completely. I am currently 15 days off of an Ultram cold turkey. I am mainly dealing with anxiety, depression, insomnia, and craving more pills to take these feelings away.

I have also been a daily marijuana user for over a decade. I am working on getting off that as well but I think it may be better to wait until I am a little farther through the tramadol withdrawal before jumping off the marijuana too. I know from past attempts that when I quit smoking marijuana I will not sleep more than one hour a night for at least 10 days, I have never been able to quit longer than that before.

Thanks for listening, I plan on posting a good bit around here.

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by serenenow, Jun 12, 2012
Day 2 I feel horrible!  I hope I can make it through this!  God please let me get through this.

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by aperson3432, Jun 12, 2012
you will get through it, serene.  it does hurt, yes.  focus on one week.  i know right now time is probably moving very slow and you probably think that you will never get through this, but you will!!!!!


today is 1 MONTH OFF TRAMADOL!!  it has been a long time since i've been able to say that.  i feel great.

keep up the good fight serene, i will be checking in periodically throughout day today.  hugs and support.  



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by epoc, Jun 12, 2012
Day 16.

I'm feeling alright now, a little uncomfortable. I only got a couple of hours of sleep last night and when I did wake up I had bad muscle and joint pain. I know this is par for the course and some days are worse than others.

I'm going on vacation in 50 days so I'm hoping I'll be close to 90-100% by then

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by DamTram, Jun 12, 2012
Serene, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU!!  Remember: days 2 and 3 are the worst, and then you begin to see the light!  Yes, 48 hours of the worst flu of your life, but that's IT!  Watch music videos on the internet.  Take a hot bath 10 times a day.  Drink tons of water and, if you have it, something with electrolytes like Gatorade.  YOU CAN DO THIS!  I'll be checking in throughout the day, as well.  STAY STRONG AND FIGHT!

Epoc, welcome!  We recently had a poster (peterovski) who was fighting the benzo battle.  I referred him to ************, and we haven't heard from him, since.  I'm hoping this is because he's getting support there, and not because he's returned to Tramaland.  He stopped smoking marijuana and reported feeling a lot better.  I smoke every night for sleep, as well, and am just getting ready to make the jump.  I'm still on 1/4mg of clonazepam.  I'm hoping maybe the 1 hour of sleep coincided with benzo withdrawal as well, and not just marijuana?  If not, I'm screwed.  But my lungs can't handle it, anymore.  My quarter is almost over at school, so I can roll with insomnia for awhile.  Have you been exercising?  It can help immensely with the muscle pain, etc.  You're doing great, and doing the right thing by coming on here to talk about your progress.  GABA (from the health food store) helped a TON with the muscle stuff, for me.  Check it out!

Just one more day of paper writing, here...I'm just glad I'm doing it without Tramadol.

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by serenenow, Jun 12, 2012
I was hoping that it would start to get better on day 3. Days 1 and 2, especially 1, was the worst.  Today I kept a sandwich down and I mowed the grass.  Was no easy task.  I'm hoping tomorrow isn't as bad.  Thank you for the support.  I am going to do this no question about it. Will keep checking in.

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by aperson3432, Jun 13, 2012
it's gonna take at least a week hun for w/d symptoms to go away, has longer half-life than hydro, oxy, etc.  plus the ssri w/d, which thank god isn't as bad as say lexapro, zoloft, that stuff.  happy to hear you're keeping some food down, and mowing the grass!!!!  rock on!

keep it up, serene.  you can do it!!!  you're on your way to doing it.  focus on a week,

epoc, how are you doing?

keep up the good fight, everyone.

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by DamTram, Jun 13, 2012
Days 1-4 are supposed to be the worst, but days 2 and 3 were always the worst for me.  Mowing the grass on day 3 is pretty amazing, Serene!!  Thank you so much for checking in.  We are so proud!!

aperson, how are you doing?

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by epoc, Jun 13, 2012
I ended up taking 150mg yesterday after 15 days with nothing.

I immediately regretted it. It gave me slight relief but I felt so worthless for taking it. I am committed to not taking any more and I didn't take anything today. It is kind of difficult for me because my live in girlfriend is on the Ultram and we literally have hundreds of them sitting in the medicine cabinet. It would be so embarrasing to ask her to hide them from me so I couldn't take any. Luckily, I think this was only a one time thing.

Today is a new day one! I also decided to stop smoking marijuana as of today as well so I will be completely sober with the exception of coffee.

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by aperson3432, Jun 13, 2012
@ damtram, gotta say i'm doing pretty good.  working out a lot.  

i smoke grass, and i'm not going to quit that.  but i am feeling very good being off the tramadol.

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by DamTram, Jun 13, 2012
aperson, i hope to follow your lead on working out, now that my finals are in!  i just walked to the store and realized how dilapidated i've become.

i wish i could handle the MMJ, but my lungs are ruined.  i feel like if i don't quit that, then i'll never quit cigs.  and i want to be able to breathe so badly!  

epoc, i'm sorry to hear about your backstep.  i can't imagine quitting while the person i love was living with me and addicted to it.  you are very brave and strong, and once you kick it for good...she will follow when she sees how much better you feel.  does this mean you're experiencing days 1-4 again?

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by epoc, Jun 13, 2012
@DamTram

Oddly enough I felt pretty awesome today. I wasn't expecting to feel this good at all but I'm not going to complain about it!

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by serenenow, Jun 14, 2012
I'm doing alright today.  Still plowing through.  Although I did go to the ER and got completely honest about the fact that I was going through withdrawal and they did she agreed that I was going through withdrawal.  So she gave me ativan, just a few, to help with some sleep.  I finally slept!  Today I feel a little hung over from the Ativan and today is that last day I will take it.  I'm still feeling some residual brain zaps but they come and go.  The teeth clenching buzzing skin crawling wanting to just die feeling is starting to reside as well.   But now I'm having alot of emotions over having not done this while my dad was still alive.  He knew I had gotten back on then for medical reasons.  Today I said a prayer out loud asking for forgiveness and apologizing because I think it kept me away from him when he was deteriorating health wise.  My reasons were that I am very busy with the moving and working and daughter getting ready to give birth to my first grandchild.  Sad thing is, My granddaughter Lilly was born on Oct. 12, 2009 at 3 in the afternoon.  My dad got to hear her cry on the phone and see pictures since he wasn't well enough to travel.  He said, "get that baby home so she can take a nap with her pappaw." So I think that in his mind, we think that he thought that, all of his kids, grandkids, and now great grandchild were alright and he could relax.  At 4:00 a.m. the next morning he had a heart attack in front of my mom and my sister and passed away!  Ever since that day I hated myself he more for the lie I was hiding.  My dad was very intuitive and he knew I wasn't the same person I once was when I very first got out of rehab in 2002.  I just hope that he can see me now and know that I'm doing this with a vengence.  

Yep the emotions are here lol!  But I'm on day 4 and there's no way in hell I'm moving back now!  Tomorrow I hope I feel like singing and dancing!

I love all of you for encouraging me to do this.  Six m effin years of throwing my life away is over!!!

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by epoc, Jun 14, 2012
Last night I had a bit of RLS and there was a lot of tossing and turning, but I did eventually get a few hours of sleep after taking some Motrin and Benadryl. I'm feeling OK this morning.

Day 2 here I come!

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by epoc, Jun 14, 2012
Yuck today has been messy so far. I just feel unwell in general. I managed to make it to the grocery store and got a bunch of fruits and vegetables and other nutritious stuff. I'm hoping a good diet will get me through this quicker.

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by aperson3432, Jun 14, 2012
keep it up serene and epoc.  i feel WAY good on day 32.  for real.  glimpses of normalcy here.  don't give up!!!!!

i'm here for u guys, and everyone else.  hugs and vibes.

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by serenenow, Jun 14, 2012
Today is day 4 for me and I feel pretty good.  Feels like the creepy crawleys are going away.  I still feel some chills and have been sneezing like crazy.  Unfortunately, with my age, I have a bit of incontinence when that happens! LOL  It is so not funny when I'm out in public.  I've been going to NA meetings and today I got gutt honest in one.  I have a sponsor with whom I also got honest.  

I never would have thought in all these years I'd get back off these damtrams!  I just found out today that a lady I know in NA, her husband actually died from a heart attack a couple of years ago from being on Tramadol, and probably abusing it for years.  I always pictured that being me.  Thank God I'm off them!  I'm thinking that tomorrow I'm going to get closer to 100%.  I could feel some of the brain zaps when I was at the meeting but not too terribly bad.  I'm so glad to have my life back!  You all in this forum don't even know how impossible I thought this was going to be!  And with your help, and God's and NA's, I'm doing.  But honestly it wasn't until I came to this forum that I got the courage to do this.  But credit also has to go to God.  I'm Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!  Keep going epoc and aperson3432.  DAM TRAM and the rest.  I just can't remember all your names.

Hugs,

Missy

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by serenenow, Jun 15, 2012
Ok..I woke up with a sneezing fit and now I'm awake so I thought I'd check in.  I noticed in my last post I used my real name...guess I don't feel the need to hide any longer :).  Still feeling minor brain zaps.  They come and go and the insomnia is somewhat an issue.  But I feel blessed to be able to have slepted at all!  4 good hours to where I actually had a dream was just perfect.  And yes the Ativan has been tossed, not going there with a cross over addiction.  The early morning of day 3 was hell, I hadn't slept since Sunday and was fearing that I may relapse on the Tramadol.  So when I went to the ER I explained all of this to the doc.  This doctor, Thank God, all too well understood that Tramadol is technically a narcotic.  I have rarely seen this in the ER.  God was looking out for me that day and she too told me that she didn't want to cause a cross over addiction.  I don't recommend this as a means for getting off Tramadol.  However it was just at that particular stage in my withdrawal and after being completely honest with a doctor about my addiction, it was needed very, very, briefly.  

I remember when I thought Tramadol was this great drug and it made me feel better.  After being off of it, even just this short while, all my family and friends notice a difference for the better so don't kid yourself thinking that Tramadol is actually making you better.  Believe me, it alters your behavior just as a classified narcotic would.  Those who know me say that they are already seeing the "old" Missy back.  It's been a long time coming.  I feel like I could talk forever lol, but just to those who are still trying to kick the damtram habit, please find the courage and strength to do so because if you think you are "feeling" better with it, it's only the disease of addiction that is brain washing you into thinking you are better with it.  

OK I've talked enough.  Denise hadn't seen you in a minute, hope you are well.

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by Sarabie, Jun 15, 2012
Hehe Serenenow - we all know that feeling. We've all come the point where we knew that everything we liked in tram had turned into the opposite. It gave us energy in the beginning but ended up in making us zombies. So those first days of CT are such an eye opener. Suddenly you are able to really laugh and feel again and it's a
Fantastic feeling !!! So loads of congrats from me. You are indeed doing a great job!! It really isn't easy to go ct. I totally understand that you went to the ER. I too called a doctor between the 2. and 3. day. Don't know why though, cause I didn't want anything. Perhaps I just needed to be assured that I wouldn't die and that everything would get better soon. I also cried a good bit that first couple of days. I lost the love of my life because of those little devil pills and when I went CT all the supressed feelings came Bursting out in form of tears.

You are done with the worst physical WD's now :-D it might take awhile for your body to gain full strengh again. It took me a couple of weeks. I was on 24 pills a day before I went CT so my poor body was weak as h... during that time. But don't worry cause you will get all your strengh back !!

Love Susie

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by DamTram, Jun 15, 2012
SERENE!!  I am so, so, so, so happy for you!!!  I hope that you go back and read your posts from NOT ONLY A WEEK AGO, when you sounded completely different!  It amazes me every time, when someone comes on this forum wanting to get off, gets off, and then all of a sudden their personality SHINES through their posts.  You talk ALL YOU WANT, here!  Let all the feelings, memories, plans for the future out!  I'm sure that you have tons of support from NA, but never worry about letting stuff out here - both the good and the bad.  Your transformation has been amazing, and PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE don't forget to give credit to YOURSELF for your bravery, courage, and determination!  One of my only issues with religion is when people give much of the credit to God and don't realize how much strength and power came from themselves.  YOU ARE A SURVIVOR!!  And that's so wonderful that you're sleeping.  I was still a total insomniac around day 4, so I'm so, so happy for you!  When I first wrote you that long post about how Tramadol was killing you and you needed to make a choice, I was so, so worried that you were going to be angry with me.  I'm so glad that you weren't, and that you came out the other side!  Just keep posting, for months if you need (I know I need to!), and you will never turn back.

Love to all!

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by denised1982, Jun 15, 2012
Hey everyone...
Feeling kinda, just UGH! today.. hurtin, PMSing, a foul mood. I go to the doctor next month, gonna ask him to either switch me completely to wellbutrin or augment the celexa with wellbutrin. I hope that it helps me with weight loss. I didn't take my celexa in a couple of days, last night I went on an eating binge.. So I took it tonight because I was feeling really dizzy. I ended up taking a whole 20 mg pill. I wish I had the answers, I really do.. I'm hoping if he does put me on the wellbutrin with celexa that will cover the serotonin and the norepinephrine and the dopamine levels and it will help maybe increase my pain threshold.. just a theory anyway... Serene.. congratulations! Yes, the sneezing fits! Oh man, they aggravated me soo sooo much! aperson, you are doing so awesome.. I am happy everyone is seeing this drug for what it really is, and perhaps the drug companies can develop something better for people who have chronic pain that doesn't cause such bad dependency and addiction. I dunno, maybe we will all be better off without these mind altering substances. I'm just talking crazy, I guess.

I hope everyone is doing well!

Love,

Denise

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by serenenow, Jun 16, 2012
Denise, DamTram, and Sarabie it's good to hear from you.  I have a question.  Just how long do the creepy crawlies last?  I'm still having them to where I'm only sleeping a few hours a night.  I'm still having alot of chills as well but my appetite and bowels are fine now.  I know it's only day 6 so I could be having too high of expectations because I am so looking forward to feeling "normal" again.  You know where you get to go through the days without the creepy crawlies, buzzing feeling, sneezing fits, and insomnia?!  I think I've put that expectation on day 5 that "poof" all these w/d symptoms would be magically gone on that day lol!  I have to keep telling myself it will stop.  I know that it will...I'm just so ready for sleep!!!  But on the upside...it is day 6 and I've been very functional for the last few days.  

Hugs!!!

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by DamTram, Jun 16, 2012
It gets better after day 7!  Sleep is the last thing to return to normal.  GO GET GABA!

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by denised1982, Jun 16, 2012
I would say that it took me upwards of 2 weeks... the sneezing stuck with me for almost a month.. It depends on the person, the dose of tram as well as the duration of the tram. Hang in there. It WILL go away. Congrats on 5 days, honey!

I wish I had Premenstrual Euphoric Disorder...



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by serenenow, Jun 16, 2012
Thanks DamTram and Denised1982.  I will check on the pricing of Gaba.  I'm so limited on money right now.  I was so worried that I'd screwed up with taking the Ativan on day 3 and had possibly started myself over on the withdrawal symptoms!  But if that had been so I'd be back in the bed puking and losing control of my faculties again.  I'll tell ya, the brain zaps, those totally suck.  They aren't as intense but a bit bothersome none the less.  I can feel things "easing up" a little tonight.  Maybe tomorrow will be a little better.  All I know is either way I'm not putting the drug back into my mouth!  As long as I don't do that, all will be well :).

Check in tomorrow.

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by serenenow, Jun 17, 2012
Ugghh...still having buzzing and brain zaps...hope it goes away very soon!  But on the upside...I slept 9 hours!

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by serenenow, Jun 17, 2012
I imagine after 6 years of my abusing my body it's going to take a minute to level back out.

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by denised1982, Jun 17, 2012
Serenenow-- So glad you got some sleep. 9 Hours is great on day 6! I wanted to try to suggest if I can some 5-HTP or any type of serotonergic supplement. The brain zaps are from the discontinuation symptom of the SNRI that is in Tram.. UGH.
Brain zaps are the WORST. I never tried GABA, but I've tried gabapentin, and that helps with w/d too. I know it's hard getting your money together but at least you're not spending the extra money on the damn tram. It will take time to level out, especially after 6 years. It took me all of 6 months plus anti-depressants to start to feel like "me" again and I was taking approx. 16 50mg/day for over 2 years... maybe close to 3.. I don't remember when I started exactly.. I was in the tram fog...

Anyway, honey, I'm going to bed, I worked all night last night and my leg is starting to bother me something fierce...
I'll post later.
Keep up the good work..

Love,

Denise


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by Naveen_, Jun 17, 2012
Hi Everyone!  So glad to have found this board.  I have been taking Tramadol 50mg 5-6 tabs a day for about 5 months.  I usually take 2 in the morning and 3 in the early afternoon.  I've cut it down to 4.  I've had quite a bit of anxiety, tingling (or pins and needles) but what I'm also having that concerns me is shortness of breath.  But I even have it when I'm not feeling anxious or stressed.  Symptoms seems to come and go.  I always have at least one of them though.  I just haven't read any stories where people withdrawing from Tramadol have shortness of breath.  I feel a lot of times I can't take a deep breath and then I keep trying to breath in deep breaths to makes myself feel better.  It's exhausting.  Has anyone gone through this?  

I give people here mad props who have taken larger doses and kicking this horrible pain pill.  I don't think many of you realize how strong you are.  I wasn't taking a really large dose and this is so hard.  I'm tapering, I can't imagine going CT.  I'd flip my chit for sure.  I just want to congratulate those that have or are conquering dependence or addiction to this drug.

So, anyone ever experience shortness of breath?  That's my main concern.

*hugs*
Naveen

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by serenenow, Jun 17, 2012
Yes actually I have been experiencing shortness of breath.  That's mainly due to my energy levels dropping from the drug not being in my system.  I do believe it will level out as my body returns back to normal.  Please be careful with what you are doing with this drug, before you know it, it will creep up and take over your life.  It did mine for 6 years before I realized just how much of it that it did take.  Thank GOD I caught it before I killed myself.  I started off with a prescription of 20 for a kidney stone and 6 years later here I am telling you about the hell I went through.  Your dose is low right now and if you are experiencing withdrawal you need to inform your doc ASAP so they he or she can help you do what you need to do.

Denise, sorry to hear about your leg I hope you feel better soon.  Yeah I've got to give myself some time to get through this.  It has already gotten better in 6 and 1/2 days.  I know it won't be too much longer now.

Hugs

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by aperson3432, Jun 17, 2012
today has been kind of a down day... had been feeling great, but today not so good.  

tomorrow is new day, checking in with everyone, doing great serene!!!!!  

hugs and vibes to all, keep up the good fight.




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by DamTram, Jun 17, 2012
Naveen - Tramadol (and all opioids) affect respiration, as they are respiratory depressants.  I remember when I'd taken my dose, I would barely breathe at all.  This is also why there is so much sneezing, etc. when you finally get off of it, completely.  As Serene said, as well, your body is trying to do what it's supposed to do...like, breathe...but it's out of practice.  You're on the right track!  I know that CT sounds scary, but because withdrawal starts during the taper, many of us decided to just get off and get it over with.  Otherwise, it can be a long, drawn out acute-withdrawal.  So, I don't know if it's strength or bravery...more like a number one goal of getting off this, ASAP!  Keep up the good work!

Serene - 9 hours is AMAZING!!  I hope that the sneezing has calmed down.  It took some of us a very long time for it to go away.  I preferred it to the constant hiccups I had while ON tramadol.  You are doing FANTASTIC!!  After the first 7 days, the long journey of putting your life, energy, and brain back together begins.  Get ready! One day at a time.

aperson - I'm sorry you've had an 'ugh' day.  You've been doing so great, though.  They can't all be 10's, right?  You're right that tomorrow's a new day - I hope it's a great one!

Denise - I'm sorry about your leg.  Are you back on the Celexa?  I'm worried about you getting on and off of it, over and over.  I know you know that you need to taper SSRIs and SNRIs, so I hope that you go that route if you really want to stop taking it.  Your brain and body deserve a chance to level out, you know?  Sending strength!  I'm done with school, now, if you'd like to have a phone chat, soon. =)

Summer has begun, and I've turned into a total sloth.  I need to begin exercising, but I'm just taking a little time to do nothing at all, for a bit.  That was a very stressful couple of months.  I'm up to 30mg of Prozac, and I'm so happy with it.  I realize now that I kept relapsing in an attempt to self-medicate.  I really DID need the seratonin in my synapses that was in the Tramadol, but I didn't know how badly.  I'm not worried about relapsing anymore, now that I've found something to stabilize my mood, energy, pain, sleep, and eating.  I don't even really want to smoke cigarettes, anymore.  I feel in control, and in control of being in control...not worried that I'll wake up and feel lost, again.  So, yeah.  I don't know if others have come to the same conclusion, but I can definitely see why I kept ending up back on that icky stuff.  

So proud of everyone!  Keep up the great work, and keep posting!  Serene, pretty soon you're going to be coaching the newcomers. =)

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by Naveen_, Jun 18, 2012
Hi Serene and Dam Tram,

Thanks so much for the reply.  Knowing this is another symptom makes me feel better.  Not being so fearful that something  worse is wrong is definitely helping me relax more about it.  So, I'm not struggling so hard.

The reason I got on Trams is not because they made me feel better emotionally.  Rather, they stopped the horrific withdrawals from Oxycontin and Hydromorphone (prescribed) that I had been on for over a year.  I had tapered from those painlessly until I jumped off at 10mg of Oxy.  I didn't have normal withdrawals, like anxiety, RSL, diarrhea, etc.  It just felt like I was having labor pains in my back.  I lasted 3 days, no sleep in agony and I finally just took 2 trams.  I knew I might be getting myself into a lot of trouble.  During that time I got a really bad case of cellulitis and I took it for about 2 weeks because I constantly had to lay down and the trams really helped my back.  By that time I was dependent and I've just never been able to do the withdrawals.  I'm just so amazed how this drug is passed off as non-addictive.  And I don't believe that doctors don't know this, not buying it.

Anyway, sorry we're all in this predicament.  I'm waxing and waning whether to just do it CT and have it hit me hard or just be miserable longer.  Not sure.  Oh, I've also quit my ½ pack of smoking a day.  Labored breathing scared the hell out of me, I'm not bringing that on myself.  I figure get all this out of the way at once lol.  Dam Tram, congrats on quitting!

Things are a lot better tonight.  I'll be either going down to 3 tomorrow or none at all.  I'll check back.  Thanks so much for the replies, it has made me feel a lot more at ease.

Naveen

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by Naveen_, Jun 18, 2012
Oh, I also wanted to add that I've been taking Neurontin and it is helping a lot with the creepy crawlies, anxiety and sleeping.  I'd hate to think how I'd feel without it.

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by denised1982, Jun 18, 2012
Naveen- Gabapentin is good to combat some withdrawals and to help with the pains in your back, however, it too can have a hell of a discontinuation syndrome, it can act kind of like a benzo because it affects your GABA receptors. You may have to taper down once you get finished using it, to prevent seizures and other withdrawal symptoms.

Honestly, I would take oxy and dilaudid withdrawal over tram anyday. I'd take oxymorphone withdrawal too. I went through hell with the tram withdrawal. It's a terrible drug and I felt so horrible for weeks with tram. Congrats on quitting smoking! I need to quit, but truthfully I'm going to wait til I get that doctor next month and ask for some Wellbutrin.

I want to try to get off of the Celexa, it really isn't doing me any good. Some of the side effects are myalgia and joint pain. Don't think I need that, and I have it!  It really has made me lose all my motivation, too. I always feel like dog$hit. I don't feel like doing my job, I don't feel like cleaning the house, I don't feel like bathing myself, I have to physically make myself do it. If food isn't made, I just won't eat. It is getting so bad. I just want to lay around and be lazy, and that's what I've been doing for the past 6-7 months, and I just can't shake it. :( I don't know what to do with myself. I'm a freakin slob. I'm not like that. I really hate the monster that I have become. I just need to try the Wellbutrin.

My leg feels better, it was doing a creepy crawly, pins and needles thing. It was weird. I got my *ss beat at work this morning. I just looove dealing with violent, combative people, I pulled a back muscle and I think I may have sprained my wrist. Just another day in paradise!

Everyone, Keep on Fighting!!!

Love,

Denise







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by aperson3432, Jun 18, 2012
naveen, hello.  congrats on wanting to get off these, there are good people here who will offer amazing support.

looks like ur dose wasn't too high, so you may be able to successfully do a taper.  i can't give any advice on that as i went c/t, but i'm sure someone here can.

today is 35 days off tram for me.  yesterday i felt just down, like a depressed feeling, that came out of nowhere!!  i did not do exercise bike though, yesterday.  i highly recommend exercise, cycling really works for me to get endorphins flowin.

i will agree, about nuerontin, really helps take edge off w/d, for me, at least.  some people swear it works, others say it doesn't.  def helps rls which is turn helps improve sleep, and i have no desire to "abuse" it.

feeling OK today, had an early walk this morning, going to exercise on bike on well.  

everyone have a great day, keep posting.  

hope you're well today, serene.

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by Naveen_, Jun 18, 2012
Hey guys,

Starting to think respiratory infection.  Is cough and wheezing a symptom of tramadol withdrawal lol?  Yeah, think I need to go to the Doc just to be safe.

Denise,  I've been through the bone crushing depression because of chronic pain and stress.  And then depression, anxiety, lack of self worth, anger etc can also cause chronic pain.  I guess it's sort of which came first, the chicken or the egg.  

There is a fascinating 20/20 video on the web regarding chronic pain and stress.  Google Dr Sarno and 20/20.  I watched the video and then bought his books and it really changed my life.  

I remember when I didn't want to do anything like you.  Bathe, cooking, cleaning etc was a chore.  I'm a graphic and web designer, self employed and almost became homeless because like you I didn't want to do chit!!

Have you ever noticed people who are self centered, don't give a crap what anyone thinks, usually don't suffer from chronic pain?  They just accept themselves no matter how big of an a-hole or what flaws they have.  We suffer because we care to much and we're to hard on ourselves.  When I started to accept I was pretty much a lazy slug and giggle about it, my pain started to decrease significantly.  I told my friends, boyfriend and family I'm taking a lot of me time, whoever is still with me at the end of it, thank you, whoever isn't sayonara.  

Denise, I just see myself in your post.  I beg you just to watch the Dr Sarno 20/20 video, it's less than 15 minutes.  

I will say, the tramadol withdrawal is bringing me back to that really dark time in my life.  I hate it.  I can't wait until this is over with.

Naveen  

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by DamTram, Jun 18, 2012
Naveen,

Like you, I was prescribed Tramadol.  I'd been battling Fibromyalgia for many years, and my doctor threw me on Tramadol and Lyrica.  100mg of Tramadol.  Then, when I told him I felt awful, again, he made it 200mg.  And then, later, 300mg.  As you mentioned, depression and many other things accompany chronic pain, which is why Tramadol is so deadly.  It's actually doing things to us for both mood AND pain.  I didn't become addicted to Tramadol because I self-medicated.  I RELAPSED because I could never stabilize my pain, sleep, or mood.  Because you also suffer from chronic pain and all that comes with it, you may find that an SSRI or SNRI will be helpful, in the future.  Seratonin is implicated in pain, sleep, eating, mood, anxiety, and energy.  This is the first time that I can manage my Fibro.  You're right that we're all on the same drug and, like you, most of us were prescribed this medicine.  

Denise,

I'm sorry that the Celexa is making it worse.  If you really want to get off, you'll taper, right?  I'm worried about your brain and body. =/  I know you're looking forward to the Wellbutrin, but I hope you are okay until you get it.  I'm sorry about all of your new injuries!

aperson,

Your positive attitude is infectious.  Just keep swimming!



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by Naveen_, Jun 18, 2012
Hi DamTram,

My bible teacher who I loved like a mother had FM so I know the devastating effect it can have on the body and soul.  I'm sorry to know that you've had to suffer with it and I'm so glad for you that you are able to manage it now.

I was actually pretty healthy, no chronic illnesses or pain until a few years ago when I found I had a tumor growing on my spine.  The stress and anxiety of not having insurance and nobody that was in a position to help me, like a doctor or surgeon took it's toll on me greatly.  That is when I started having a lot of pain in my back, neck, TMJ, severe gastritis ect.  I moved to a city where they have an open door policy for residents and I was finally taken care of.  But I was treated pretty terrible by the doctors, except for one.  And she is the one that would prescribe me the hefty pain meds.  I don't think that my pain was from the tumor, I didn't even know I had it.  I think I suffered from pain from stress.  

I really don't know how I am emotionally anymore.  I don't know what is real or not.  I feel so incredibly depressed right now.  Is that from withdrawal?  Chemical or vitamin imbalance?  I really won't know until I get off these Dam Trams, ha.  I can totally understand why you relapsed, practically every second of the day I'm thinking "take the extra one that will make you feel better!!"  But in reality it would only prolong my misery.  I know too that eventually I'd have to keep up and upping my doses to feel better.  I'd rather go on an antidepressent or anti-anxiety where the tolerance doesn't rise so fast.  If I do end up having a problem with depression.  But for the last couple years it's just been one drug after another, so not sure who I am anymore.  I'm hopeful though that after I get off for a few months I will really be able to tell where I'm at.  I'm pretty sure I won't have a problem as I never did before.  So, here is to hoping!!

I know you've relapsed a few times, I don't know how you made it through so many withdrawals with this insidious drug.  It really is unimaginable to me.  It's torture.  But you've been around the block a few times and it's wonderful that you stick around for people like me.  It's such a comfort to me.  Thank you.

Naveen

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by DamTram, Jun 18, 2012
Naveen,

I'm also sorry for your experiences.  You are right about stress causing pain, which is sort of the theory behind FM.  Chronic stress takes a permanent toll on your nervous system.  

I think you're right about waiting for a few months once you're off.  I, too, had been shuffled by Dr.'s from drug to drug for the last 5 years.  I didn't know who I was, anymore.  So, from December to April, I got to see who I was when my system was clear.  I found that I really am a very emotional person, that I have poor sleep and energy, and that I hurt.  All the time.  I found that exercise and diet can help, but not even to be truly functional.  Without having had those months to really understand what I can and can't do, I was able to confidently ask for a drug that I knew would help.  I just didn't know how much!  If you'd told me 3 months ago how I'd be feeling today, I would've laughed very hard.  Even the peace of mind of knowing why I kept going back to that drug feels great.

And the thing about withdrawal, which I've said on here before but am always hesitant to bring up, is that withdrawal is actually amazing.  Having your feelings come back, one by one, and having the pain get so bad that you want to die and then having it go away, day by day...it's so empowering and awakening.  I call it the undying.  To hear music, taste food, laugh again...it's a special thing.  It is not, however, worth the disaster tramadol makes of your life.  But now that I've found a way to feel empowered and awakened WITHOUT tramadol withdrawl, I know that I will not relapse.  Did that make any sense?

Keep us updated on if you choose to CT or continue your taper!  We are here for you, Naveen!



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by denised1982, Jun 19, 2012
Hey everyone--

Just wanted to look at my ticker. 200 days!
Yeaaaahhhhhhhhh  bbbbbboooooyyyyyyyyyyy!!!! (Flava Flav!!!!) lol

Love yall,

Denise

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by denised1982, Jun 19, 2012
Serenenow? Aperson? Yall still hanging in there?

Aperson.. are you still feeling low? What other problems are you having? Are you taking vitamins and drinking your water and exercising? Even exercising for 20 minutes a day is enough to elevate your mood, yeah, I know how it feels to hate exercising and all that but it really should help...

Serene-- I'm so glad you're doing well.. You're free!!! 6 years of hell and you're out of tram jail. It really shows just how brave you are. You hid yourself for so long (behind tram) and you don't have to do that anymore. Very liberating!

Naveen-- I'm so sorry about you having a tumor on your spine and the stress of letting it go on without being treated and causing you pain. I, too, have TMJ and neck/back problems, and my job doesn't offer their CNA's (what I do) fracken health insurance. Where I live we have a doctors office that I go to who charges low and takes payments as low as $20 a visit. I also know what it's like to get looked at crazy by doctors and ultimately get blown off. I get that all the time. The way I feel about it, and it is probably what they see is a depressed fat girl who needs to exercise and lose some weight to get out of pain and then they script me out an AD.  Happens every time.

I know how you feel about being on so much chit that you don't know who you are anymore. I know what it's like to be so low that you can't find your way back up again... I would try to hold off a couple of months if I could on antidepressants. If you feel like you absolutely need one, go for it, but for someone who has been on tramadol for a short period of time and a low dose, I feel like you should be relatively okay...not to say that you have a cake walk or anything. There's no dangers in going on one or anything like that once you quit and it does make the transition a little easier (i.e. fewer brain zaps)...

Just make sure that yall are all drinking PLENTY of WATER. I did that yesterday and let me tell you. OH EM GEE I was SORE when I woke up in my back and my legs and neck, like I always am and I took 2 tylenol, 4 ibuprofen and hobbled my crippled a** to work and instead of buying a couple of 20 oz mtn dew (shame on me!) I was (thankfully) broke and brought 4 bottles of h2o from home. Besides a headache from obvious caffiene withdrawal, my body pain just diminished. I am astounded that I could just be really dehydrated and I feel stupid to know that if I had only drank h2o all the time I would have never put myself on ultram and probably could've saved myself a lot of heartache. The ibuprofen/tylenol combo it doesn't work to well, either, so it was the water. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

I have been contemplating on cutting back my sweets and grain. Well, wheat. I don't know about any other grain, yet. I need to work my way into this. This process may take several months. I want to lose about 80 pounds over all. Like right now, I still have my coke and mountain dew but I'm trying to have it when I first wake up, instead of all the time. I am still going to do my water and cut back more on the cokes (in the south pop/soda is called coke, don't matter if it's a mtn dew, rootbeer, pepsi, it's a coke, dammit! lol)

Then I will try to cut back on the sugary stuff, then I'll go to whole grain, then nothing, but I gotta tell you, the wheat abstinence is a doozy, trying to figure out what to eat instead of the wheat. Wheat is bad for a lot of people, a lot of people can't tolerate the gluten, wheat can cause holes in your intestine and throws off the balance of your gut flora. The gluten acts as a "glue" and coats your intestinal walls (I guess cilia, too) and it hinders absorption of vitamins and nutrients. Wheat can and does bind to your opiate receptors. Just like heroin, just like tramadol. It is so good, but so bad for you. How do I get off of it? Well, damtram, feel free to text, call, or write and chime in.

I did atkins for like a week before I almost passed out and lost 10 pounds. I waited too long between meals and got dizzy at work. If I am able to listen to my body and provide my body with what it actually needs, I can get healthy and fit pretty quick. I am physically an extremely strong person. I have just been sore for the past 6-7 years! I let myself go the past 10 years. I don't know why, but I did. It's never to late to start trying and I so badly need to start getting with the program if I want to live.

Sarabie-- how've you been? What you up to these days?


Well, off my soapbox.

Love,

Denise

Gotta see my tracker again, I love it! :)

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by denised1982, Jun 19, 2012
Serenenow? Aperson? Yall still hanging in there?

Aperson.. are you still feeling low? What other problems are you having? Are you taking vitamins and drinking your water and exercising? Even exercising for 20 minutes a day is enough to elevate your mood, yeah, I know how it feels to hate exercising and all that but it really should help...

Serene-- I'm so glad you're doing well.. You're free!!! 6 years of hell and you're out of tram jail. It really shows just how brave you are. You hid yourself for so long (behind tram) and you don't have to do that anymore. Very liberating!

Naveen-- I'm so sorry about you having a tumor on your spine and the stress of letting it go on without being treated and causing you pain. I, too, have TMJ and neck/back problems, and my job doesn't offer their CNA's (what I do) fracken health insurance. Where I live we have a doctors office that I go to who charges low and takes payments as low as $20 a visit. I also know what it's like to get looked at crazy by doctors and ultimately get blown off. I get that all the time. The way I feel about it, and it is probably what they see is a depressed fat girl who needs to exercise and lose some weight to get out of pain and then they script me out an AD.  Happens every time.

I know how you feel about being on so much chit that you don't know who you are anymore. I know what it's like to be so low that you can't find your way back up again... I would try to hold off a couple of months if I could on antidepressants. If you feel like you absolutely need one, go for it, but for someone who has been on tramadol for a short period of time and a low dose, I feel like you should be relatively okay...not to say that you have a cake walk or anything. There's no dangers in going on one or anything like that once you quit and it does make the transition a little easier (i.e. fewer brain zaps)...

Just make sure that yall are all drinking PLENTY of WATER. I did that yesterday and let me tell you. OH EM GEE I was SORE when I woke up in my back and my legs and neck, like I always am and I took 2 tylenol, 4 ibuprofen and hobbled my crippled a** to work and instead of buying a couple of 20 oz mtn dew (shame on me!) I was (thankfully) broke and brought 4 bottles of h2o from home. Besides a headache from obvious caffiene withdrawal, my body pain just diminished. I am astounded that I could just be really dehydrated and I feel stupid to know that if I had only drank h2o all the time I would have never put myself on ultram and probably could've saved myself a lot of heartache. The ibuprofen/tylenol combo it doesn't work to well, either, so it was the water. Shoulda, woulda, coulda.

I have been contemplating on cutting back my sweets and grain. Well, wheat. I don't know about any other grain, yet. I need to work my way into this. This process may take several months. I want to lose about 80 pounds over all. Like right now, I still have my coke and mountain dew but I'm trying to have it when I first wake up, instead of all the time. I am still going to do my water and cut back more on the cokes (in the south pop/soda is called coke, don't matter if it's a mtn dew, rootbeer, pepsi, it's a coke, dammit! lol)

Then I will try to cut back on the sugary stuff, then I'll go to whole grain, then nothing, but I gotta tell you, the wheat abstinence is a doozy, trying to figure out what to eat instead of the wheat. Wheat is bad for a lot of people, a lot of people can't tolerate the gluten, wheat can cause holes in your intestine and throws off the balance of your gut flora. The gluten acts as a "glue" and coats your intestinal walls (I guess cilia, too) and it hinders absorption of vitamins and nutrients. Wheat can and does bind to your opiate receptors. Just like heroin, just like tramadol. It is so good, but so bad for you. How do I get off of it? Well, damtram, feel free to text, call, or write and chime in.

I did atkins for like a week before I almost passed out and lost 10 pounds. I waited too long between meals and got dizzy at work. If I am able to listen to my body and provide my body with what it actually needs, I can get healthy and fit pretty quick. I am physically an extremely strong person. I have just been sore for the past 6-7 years! I let myself go the past 10 years. I don't know why, but I did. It's never to late to start trying and I so badly need to start getting with the program if I want to live.

Sarabie-- how've you been? What you up to these days?


Well, off my soapbox.

Love,

Denise

Gotta see my tracker again, I love it! :)

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by denised1982, Jun 19, 2012
sorry for the double post, my computer froze up! hit the refresh button and send a couple of times.. sorry! okay bye!

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by DamTram, Jun 19, 2012
Heyyyy, girl!  I think you're sleeping, so I won't text or call, yet.

I'm no expert, but cutting out wheat has been amazing for me.  For example, I just had a tummy ache and was stuck in the bathroom for a little while and I was like, 'Wow, it's been a really long time since this happened!' I had a cookie and a half, yesterday.  

I, too, was lost as to how to replace things.  I ended up at the nutritionist, and she gave me lots of impossible advice.  Somehow, though, I came up with a plan.  For those of you who believe that sugar, gluten, and/or wheat have caused you pain, exhaustion, and/or depression, you may be on to something.  I've lost a little more than 10 pounds in the last couple of months (~8% of my body weight), without having any time to exercise (this quarter was a killer).  Denise, or anyone else, I don't know if this is helpful, but I'm putting it out there, anyway.  On a typical day, I eat:

Breakfast:
Coffee w/lactose-free, fat-free milk (I have to limit my dairy, too)
2 scrambled eggs w/ketchup

Morning Snacks:
Grapes
Fat-free Greek yoghurt

Lunch:
Spinach salad (like, just spinach) with cucumbers, EV olive oil, and balsamic, white-wine vinegar
4 slices almost-fat-free deli-turkey, rolled up

Afternoon Snacks:
4 more slices turkey
2 low-sodium rice cakes (my all-time, gluten-free savior!)
Apple

Dinner (I live alone, so this is a bit depressing):
Healthy Choice, Top Chef Steamer: Beef Merlot

Dessert:
1/4 Hershey's chocolate bar

If still hungry before bed:
Raisin Bran
2 Apple-Cinnamon rice cakes

Even before the Prozac, this diet was more than doable and kept me full.  I just had to eat SOMETHING every 1-2 hours, even if it was almost no calories.  If I absolutely need soda/pop/coke, I make it diet.  Unless it's the weekend, in which case I will totally have a real coke.

Even though it's just 10 pounds, my body has changed so much.  I never used to eat on Tramadol, but I never stopped looking big and bloated.  This is the first time that I don't feel like I'm dragging a large mass around.  And, of course, the lack of wheat/sugar/gluten has helped my joints, energy, sleep, and tummy.  More than Tramadol ever could!  So, I'm sorry if that was really annoying, but Denise - you're right, if you eat every 1-2 hours, you really can do it!  I did Atkins for 3 days, and was so incredibly insane that I attacked a bran muffin and never went back.  It's just not sustainable.  You need a little bit of sugar and carbohydrates (like rice) for your gray matter.  Anyway, I hope that helped a little!

I can't wait to see the number 2 in front of 2 other numbers on my tracker!  CONGRATULATIONS!!!


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by serenenow, Jun 19, 2012
Congrats Denise and everyone else on another day out of "tram jail!" LOL I loved that when I read it Denise.  It's so true.  Funny thing is I've been a part of a 12 step fellowship since 2001.  In 06 they put me back on the Dam Tram, I allowed them to, and should not have.  So in some ways I feel like an oldtimer but in some ways I feel like a newcomer.  I am so loving not having to "hide" behind them anymore.  Been having alot of conversations with family and  they all new what was going on practically the whole time. I was the one in denial!

Still having some of the brain zaps but I've been working with another person in a spiritual healing technique.  This elieviates my emotional misery and in effect calms down the brain zaps and the pins and needles feeling.  Been sleeping between 4-6 hours per night.  

Going on a canoe trip this weekend and looking much forward to the experience without the Dam Trams for a change.  I've went on it nearly every year but had forgotten about the real beauty of being out in nature.  I seriously feel like this is a new beginning to the next phase of my life!

Naveen, girl you haven't been on them that long so I hope you continue to find the courage and strength to get off of them.  They will rob you of you!  We're here for ya.

Aperson I'm glad you are still hanging as well.  We all help eachother through this process.  

Hugs....

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by DamTram, Jun 19, 2012
Yay, Serene!!  Have so much fun!!  I'm so glad your family is being supportive.  Enjoy your trip! =)

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by serenenow, Jun 20, 2012
Thanks DamTram :).  I've already put it in my mind that regardless of if anyone else going on the trip is having fun...I will be! LOL Sounds self-centered but it's a 12-step canoe trip.  You still get the drama with it at times.  I'm going with my BF of over 4 years.  We've had our issues and I'm hoping this trip will help heal a little...that is if HE can stay out of the drama.  

OH WELL...I'm having a good time regardless.

Will Check in next week.

All the Tram Warriors keep doing what you are doing...you inspire me and I hope to inspire you in return.

Hugs,

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by Rysho, Jun 21, 2012
Hello Everyone, 2nd day (cold turkey) off of Tramacrap and was searching for others who are going though the same symptoms(withdrawls) as i and came across this community, i could really use some help and advice right now as the withdrawl is really bad. Reading all the others who have domminated their addiction of this horrible drug make me have alittle more hope that i can get though this..  Thank you

-Travis-

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by DamTram, Jun 21, 2012
Travis, you CAN, you WILL, and you MUST get through this!  Your life and future are on the other side.

What help and advice do you need?  I know you've probably gone through tons of these posts and gathered advice, or maybe you are too sick to see straight (I know I was, at day 2).  I don't know what you're suffering with the most, so let us know and we can give some advice about what has helped us.  The most important advice is: it's just like having the worst flu of your entire life, but the rewards of getting through it are very high.  Your life, body, and brain have been taken over by the most insane drug of all time, and you are seeing the effects of it, now.  Every moment of pain and suffering you feel right now should make you SO ANGRY (you didn't know this would happen!) that all you want to do is fight and never take one of those nasty pills, again.

Let us know what you need!

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by Rysho, Jun 21, 2012
That's exactly how i feel about thise horrible pills right now. the biggest symptoms i'm having are hot.cold flashes and slight (comming/giong) muscle spasms (mostly legs and shoulders) Is it natural to feel betrayed by my Doctor? let down by the medical system in a way?

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by DamTram, Jun 21, 2012
Absolutely everyone that was prescribed this drug that has made it on to this sight felt betrayed by their doctor and the field of medicine.  It's not only natural, but will help you to get through this and to be more wary of pills as a solution in the future.

The hot/cold was the worst for me.  You can force the issue by taking hot baths (on day 2, I probably took about 6), and then finding a way to cool yourself (obviously easier in the winter, but hanging out by the freezer can go a long way).  Acetaminophen or ibuprofen can help, too.

The hot baths or showers will help with the muscle spasms, but stuff that helped me were GABA from health food store and Hyland's Leg Cramps PM from the drug store.  Drink loooooots of fluids, because the spasms worsen as you dehydrate.  But walking around and stretching will be invaluable.

Hang in there!!

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by Rysho, Jun 21, 2012
I'm hangin on, I appreciate all the information i've found on here and will keep tabs on everything. I've found so far for me as wierd as it sounds, Music has been a big help in keeping myself calm and focused...

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by goatfarmer, Jun 22, 2012
Anyone go on antidepressants while tapering tramadol? I am stuck at 3 1/2. I am going to taper to 3 1/4 today! Its funny I have anxiety about tapering even 1/4 pill.
Last week I tapered 1/4 pill and I was fine for 4 days and day 4 evening started having severe anxiety/panic! It lasted 3 freakin' days! dr prescribed vistaril. Why withdrawls 4 stinkin days later? or maybe its just my brain trying to get used to the antidepressant part of tram. I called the makers of Ultram yesterday to ask for taper advice! All they did was ask me a million questions on my use etc etc and told me to contact my dr! WTH?! no taper advice?! they make the dam* drug and they can't give taper advice? My goal is to do 1/4 pill every 7-10 days and on day 4-5 take extra 1/4-1/2 pill because thats the time I seem to get panic, high blood pressure, feeling like I am going "crazy" etc and then resume taper again. I don't really have some of the other w/d symptoms my main one is anxiety/depression/panic! Sometimes feeling hot. I get no cravings etc etc.
Anyone has anyone ever taken an antidepressant while tapering? I hear you are not suppose to combine the two but if you are having low saratonin from coming off drug it should be ok right?

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by hope4us981, Jun 22, 2012
So its Friday night,I have my three year old here with me at home while my husband is working.My last tram dose was a noon 100mg,I begin my attempt to rid myself of this junk tonight. I have been addicted to tramadol for about three years. I am maxed out at 400mg per day.  Recently my doctor tapered me down to 250 mg per day and I decided to just jump off and get it over with...I was told the same same story,that it wasn't addicting,yada yada and yakkity smakkity...smh...I wanted tramadol so that i WOULD NOT have to deal with the addicting properties of narcotics...thankfully,my doctor understood and told me that while he did hand this drug out alot at first,he has now wised up about it and he is helping a handful of his patients dealing with this. Here is what I have on hand..: 37.5 effexor,400 mg gabapentin,super B complex,biotin,a multivitamin,tylenol,advil,benedryl,omega 3,6,9, and a ton of immodium,oh and 14 7.5 hydrocodone....where to start is the question...any suggestions...btw,I am trying to put o a brave face but I'm really really scared

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by DamTram, Jun 23, 2012
Hope - Don't be scared!  Be HAPPY!  You're almost free!!

If you were already on the Effexor, you should STAY on the Effexor!  If you haven't started it yet, you may want to wait to see how you are without it, after withdrawal.  And, if you are able, avoid taking any of the gabapentin or hydrocodone.  They may prolong your acute withdrawal and you will then have to get off of them, one by one.  I never took an opioid during withdrawal, but after my relapse, I was given hydrocone from the ER for my ear about 6 weeks after withdrawal.  It brought all of the tramadol symptoms back, and then I had to get off of it and withdraw, again.  So, I did take some Lyrica during acute withdrawal (like Gabapentin).  But, after my relapse, I stayed on the Lyrica and became dependent.  I have slowly been tapering and am finishing my last pill.  It has been 6 months.

All of the vitamins are great, they will help much.  Advil/Tylenol may help with the hot/cold/hot/cold.  Benedryl may help with nausea and sleep.  If you can manage, pick up some Hyland's Leg Cramps PM from the drugstore if you develop RLS.  

You won't have to put on a brave face...you're about to get SO ANGRY that it'll be the only face you have.  Good luck!!

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by Rysho, Jun 23, 2012
Well, Day 3 and still feeling like hammered **** but holding on. Hot/cold spells are pretty bad as is the fatigue but not much more.. Does anyone here have asthma? My asthma is acting up and not sure if it's the w/d or enviromental and how anyone coped with it....

Btw, DamTram, I have written those first words you spoke to me on a card that i carry everywhere and look at them when i just wanna give up...  :) Thank you.....


-Travis-

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by hope4us981, Jun 23, 2012
Thank you DT,I wasn't very dramatic in my post because I'm trying hard to be brave but here I am on saturday afternoon,I am starting to panic. I have the house to myself right now,we share our home w my I laws and they are on vacation,that is why I chose to jump off because I would be alone. My husband works tonight but he's off tomorrow,Monday and Tuesday and we are set to go house sit for my sister on Monday. I will be able to lay around instead of my inlaws asking 20 questions as to what's wrong with me. Right now, I feel my gut starting to gurrgle but I ALWAYS get the w/d constipation before the diahtramareah starts..lol..I'm panicking because ..well..I dunno why...lol..stupid meds..ugh..I have good anxiety for being excited to tackle this but I also have fear of what's around the corners. OK,I'm done rambking..get ready to see a ton of me rambling when this gets worse...have a strong day all!!


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by DamTram, Jun 23, 2012
Aw, Travis, that made my whole month!  I'm so glad that I could help in some little way.  You are doing so great!!  Yes, you're right about the asthma.  Even people without asthma have respiratory issues when getting off of this (i.e., sneezing, bronchitis).  Opioids are respiratory depressants, so your whole system has to recover.  If you have bad asthma, I would consider talking to a doc.  You have your inhaler, etc?  Days 2 and 3 are the worst, you are almost done!!

Hope, you don't have to worry about what's around the corner.  Yes, you'll be sick for a few days.  Yes, you'll feel like you're dying.  If you actually think you need medical attention, you will have your husband to help you to get it.  Most likely, you having nothing more to worry about than a few days of the worst flu, ever.  You've got this!!

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by Rysho, Jun 23, 2012
I do have an inhaler and (fortunatly) haven't had to use it yet, but a few times it came close. i keep focusing on the path after the w/d and music has kept my head clear and i have wonderful friends who are helping as well (even a few ex-girlfriends are helping) I go back to work tomorrow so that might be what i need to power my way though.

I appreciate greatly everyone here and the advice given...

-Travis-

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by ImDONENoMore, Jun 23, 2012
Read the very first posts from Emily's thread.  That will help you through this.

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by ImDONENoMore, Jun 23, 2012
that comment was meant for "Rysho" - should have made that clear.

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by DamTram, Jun 23, 2012
Hey, imdone!!

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by ImDONENoMore, Jun 23, 2012
hey back damtram!  :)

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by hope4us981, Jun 23, 2012
Omygeeeezzzz!!!! I'm already feeling bleh....my poor daughter has been just wanting to be playing and I'm already on zero energy...I feel nauseous and I'm getting the creepy crawlies...I just want to cry!!!  Thank GOD that its almost bed time,my sweetpea can just snuggle with me while she watches cartoons,than you NICK JR....lol..

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by hope4us981, Jun 24, 2012
Ugggh,'its 5am and I'm feeling YUCK!!! I have the TRAMA-tic allergies,sneezing. I did cave and take a Hydro just now,I feel TERRIBLE GUYS!!!! Good thing hubby is on his way home with DONUTS!!! LOL,GOTTA GET MY FIX SOMEWHERE!! LOL..hoping I make it thru today.

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by hope4us981, Jun 24, 2012
Ugggh!!!  Anyone here!!!  (spins around w hands in the air looking up)...(walks away with head down)....well,I'm up and thankfully,my daughter and hubby are sleeping. I'm in our guest bedroom watching One for the money but I'm feeling like poop!! My stomach is right on schedule,dunno how much I have sneezed already...I'm just really scared that i could relapse and go BK to my doc tommrrw....

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by serenenow, Jun 24, 2012
hope4us981 please don't go back to the doctor to get more.  It will just start this insanity all over again.  I know it may seem like this will never get better but trust me it does.  I was on them for over 6 years and everyday I just kept finding something positive to keep me going.  Rysho...music is great.  I've been relying alot on it.  Especially CD's that I burned mixed songs on years ago and had totally forgotten about.  Music and Melatonin have helped alot this last week especially.  I got honest with a pharmacist, for a change, and told him what was going on.  They didn't have 5HTP but he told me to start taking Melatonin and it would begin to work like 5HTP which are natural vitamins.  They help with the seretonin levels which are destroyed through the use of Tramadol.  Seratonin helps regulate mood, sleep and other things.  I still have a little bit of the creepy crawley's but that's from lack of Seratonin.  My body is returning to normal at a higher percentage of rate more each day.  I NEVER thought I would get off those dam pills but when I made the decision to do it, I did it and am starting to feel like myself again.  I haven't felt that way in a long, long time.

Just hang in there each day and know that it will get better as long as you don't put that drug back in you.

Hugs,

Serenenow

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by starpower153, Jun 24, 2012
Help! Here's my situation (briefly because I don't even feel well enough to tell the whole story)

I took my last trams on Wednesday (It is Sunday now).  It was because I couldn't get anymore, but I think of it as a blessing. I went to a psychiatrist on Thursday and explained everything. I said my biggest concern was that I can't NOT work. And I have to be focused, and coherent. I have to work, and my job is intense.  He prescribed me adderall. I took it and I think it probably did keep some of the withdrawal symptoms at bay (but it made others a lot worse).  So, I am supposed to be on day 4 of no tramadol.  I haven't really slept and my mind is going crazy.  I couldn't take some of the symptoms anymore, so this morning I called the psychiatrist.  I told him I just can't take it anymore, and I don't know what to do.  He said, well, you should be ok by tomorrow and definitely by Wednesday.  But this makes me think he doesn't really know what tramadol withdrawals are like.  

I want to call him back and say, please help me, I CAN'T get back on those pills.

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by Naveen_, Jun 24, 2012
Hi Everyone,

Sorry I went AWOL.  I actually jumped off for about 3 days and decided I just couldn't do it and I would just do a painless taper.  It was so awful.  I can't believe the amount of anxiety, creepy crawlies, and overall pain I felt.  I started taking between 5 and 6 neuronton at one time.  I DO NOT suggest anyone do this.  It did help tremendously with the withdrawals but I was terrified of having to take so much.  So a VERY SLOW taper it is for me.  I'm not in a race lol.

I just wanted to thank you for the thoughtful replies and apologize I didn't respond.  I just couldn't put two words together and when I was on the neurontin I was just so out of it.

Denise, if one is overweight I really feel they are so screwed when it comes to getting appropriate treatment.  I seen it with my grandmother.  EVERYTHING wrong with her was attributed to her weight.  She almost died twice because a doctor just diagnosed her being obese.  When in reality she had an infected appendix that eventually burst and almost died.  Another time she had an incarcerated hernia and part of her intestines died and had to be removed.  She was always told "eat better".  Even though she wasn't even eating because she was in so much pain!!

I really think doctors believe that overweight people just sitting around eating large amounts of food.  I just don't think that is always the case.  There are a lot of overweight women in my family.  They don't sit around a lot.  They are always moving, doing something, especially if they have kids.  What I notice is, they don't eat a whole lot, they just eat the wrong things.  Normal amounts of high calorie foods can really pack on the pounds, especially for females.  

Because I realize this, I don't find overweight people disgusting.  But a lot of doctors do.  And so they are undertreated and mistreated by these pathetic doctors.  

I hate doctors, I have said that?  I mean, I REALLY hate doctors.  Sorry, I'm just so jaded at this point.

Anyway, again... thank you so much for the thoughtful replies.  I read them a few times during my WD days.

Naveen

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by denised1982, Jun 25, 2012
Naveen- Thank you for your kind words... I carry my weight well, Thank God. I just need to lose a good 60-70 pounds. Could be a lot worse. I'm glad I am still strong, and I have been watching what I am eating lately, and I have cut out the cokes completely. I've been drinking a bunch of water, but I started to get migraines, so I drink a couple of cups of coffee, without sugar.  I'm just going to do that for a while. I am glad that I still have a cute shape. I feel like I had to get disgusted with myself in order to do something about it, so far, it's worked! I feel better, I feel more alert, I don't hurt as bad, and I'm already losing some weight.  I am so glad that I am as physically strong as I am.

Good luck with your taper, I guess you have to treat the taper as if you were tapering off an antidepressant, like effexor. I couldn't give you sound advice as to how to taper, because I went CT. I kind of stopped taking my Celexa again. F it. I feel crappy while I'm on it. I want to get put on something else, or nothing at all.  I just want to get some energy in my life!  I want to start walking, and I'm going to start real soon. I'll just get out on the beach here, and do it, and I will, because I am tired of being tired and I want to feel better. That's all I care about right now, to be the best "me" that I want to be. For myself, and for my husband and step-son. That's all that matters, and that's all I care about. To be there for the ones who love me, because I love them so much.

Look at all these newbies! Hey everybody! It's hell and the bad feelings CAN lurk around for a while, but take care of yourselves! Drink your water! Take good vitamins, take a lot of baths, know that this takes time to heal your brains and your bodies! Give back to yourselves! You deserve it! Get mad, Fight Like Hell!

Love,

Denise

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by aperson3432, Jun 25, 2012
keep it up, guys and gals.

still tram free, since may 12th, roughly 10pm.

feeling pretty good.  some bad days though.  

get exercise and eat healthy and watch funny stuff!

vibes and hugs to all, keep up good fight.

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by Rysho, Jun 25, 2012
Day 5 and no trams. I'm starting to feel alittle better. took a flexril and 2 melatonin last night and finally got some sleep. Fatigue and twichiness are still here but getting fewer day by day. i think i can finally beat this and move on,

I thank everyone here for the kinda words and advice..

  -Hugs-

   -Travis-

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by TheBigStorm, Jun 25, 2012
Hi, I'm a newbie to this site. My name is Michael and I am from Cleveland, Ohio. I have been on Tramadol for about 2 years. When I first started, I remember after my first month just choosing not to take them I got sick. Thought it was the flu until I figured out that it was actually withdrawal. My pain has suppress, but I am afraid of stopping cold turkey. I have two young kids and I need all the energy I can get. Right now I am at two pills in the morning and than two pills in the evening. I have an appointment with a pain management doctor for help with getting rid of the Tramadol. Can't believe a doctor would prescribe someone this crap with all the withdrawal issues that come with it. Is four a day good right now? Will my withdrawal symptoms be of the lesser? What will the doctor do to help me? Has anyone gone to a doctor asking for help to be removed off of Tramodal with as painless as possible? Thanks.

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by goatfarmer, Jun 26, 2012
BigStorm and others:
I wonder if it would be better if you did your 2 doses seperated by 4 doses? I was on 8 a day and now am on 3 a day after 4 months of tapering! I have been on the dang pill for 9 YEARS!!! I take 1, then 1/2 then 1 then 1/2 every 4-5 hours it helps me get used to that lack of "high" feeling when I take 2 at a time which is a good thing because you will crave it less and less once you realize there is not a reward system anymore and it keeps the levels in your body stable.
But maybe what will help lessen w/d is to take it every 4-5 hours instead of every 8 hours or so like you are doing? it keeps a level in there so maybe lessen the w/d? how much were you up to total?

In my opinion I am finding that tapering 1/4 pill every 7-10 days really limits the w/d. And what I can't believe is I still have w/d at tapering just 1/4 pill. But mine are mostly anxiety/depression more mood things not the opiate type w/d symptoms. I get some sneezing and stretching and some twitching and muscle spasms but lowering it this way really keeps things to a minimum. I cut back 1/4 about 2 weeks ago and had wierd w/d symptoms on that (mostly SEVERE anxiety and blood pressure issues) but then cut back another 1/2 ater and didn't have any w/d cutting back that. Well they were minor anyway so I am not sue why sometimes thee are w/d and sometimes not for me.
The hardest part for me is when I get to 4 pills and under! This is when w/d are more intense for me so I slow my taper. Seems like FOREVER! I am determined however!

Couple things that may help: (I have been RESEARCHING for days on tapering etc etc and based on my own experience this is what helps the most)

1.ask dr for clonidine (its a blood pressure medication and it helps with w/d too since tram w/d can wreak havoc on your blood pessure)
2.ask dr for vistaril (its an antihistimine and it helps with the anxiety and the sneezing and sleep) This REALLY helps me.
3.take natural supplement L-theanine 150 mg a day or so. My doc gave me this but haven't tried it yet because I could only find it in a larger dose so I want to make sure its ok. Its suppose to be a very safe thing w/o interactions.
4. Also once off you can take L-tyrosine and 5htp.
5.Get the book "The Mood Cure" by Julia Ross she explains why we have addictions in the first place and what to do about it!
6. Walk daily during detox (helps restless leg syndrome) take hylands restless leg syndrome remedy if needed. Helps mood.
7. drink lots of water
8. Eat high protien foods for mood (eggs, nuts, cheese) these are all good for mood.
9. for pain take tylonal or advil (this also helps a little with the hot/cold feelings), tiger balm patches or muscle rub, epsom salt baths, heat packs and stretching.

Its funny I called the pharmacist to assist with a taper schedule and I even called the dang company that makes ultram and pharmacist said most people do not w/d coming off this so he couldn't recommend a taper!!!! WTH?!
The ultram company makers took a crap load of info down (name, address, phone, height, weight, length of use etc etc) and then said contact my dr! WTH?!!! so trying to get taper advice is insanely rediculuous!

I have found the best taper schedule is 10% every 7-10 days. Seems like I usually don't start feeling better from a taper until day 10. I know it seems super slow but if you have the willpower it will lesson the hellashish w/d. Will you still have them? YEP! :(

Good luck to all during this most unpleasant process! Soon we will be free!!!

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by TheBigStorm, Jun 26, 2012
Thanks Goatfarmer. I really appreciate you taking the time to respond and help me with my dilemma. I have been up to 12 trams 50mg a day. I start to decrease to make sure I have enough by my next refill. I just got 4 refills that would last me two months. I think they gave that to me for the tapering off process. See a doc this Thursday to help me get off of this crap. There seriously should be a class action lawsuit against the makers of Tramadol. They say there is no withdrawal symptoms we know for a fact that there is. We should be compensated for our pains after spending thousands of dollars on this drug to help with our pains, told that there is no withdrawal, and than going to hell and back just to get off of them. If anyone is interested in this please let me know.

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by serenenow, Jun 26, 2012
Good to see all the new ones wanting off this medicine and the oldtimers who continue to inspire.  I'm still doing good.  The Melatonin has helped a great deal.  I'm really surprised at being on my 15th day after 6 dang years of hell on this medication!!!  I feel a little better each day.  The "brain zaps" are no where as intense as the first week and I'm beginning to feel "normal" again.  I've began my job hunt and do have some prospects.  Hoping to work throughout the summer.  I'm actually getting ready to graduate from the Criminal Justice Program at a local university this winter and hopefully will be accepted into the Family Social Work program at the same University.  Funny thing is...I was a certified drug and alcohol counselor for 2 years and worked in another facility as a residential assistant for 1 year LOL.  Oh the irony!  I'm taking steps to getting my life back!  I'm so enjoying the freedom of not having my life wrapped up around this drug.  

Music has helped, helping others in the 12 step programs has helped and spending time with my grandchildren definitely helps!  Also working on continuing to being a productive member of society feels really good.  Just finding productive positive things to do makes a difference.  I'm aiming towards the goal of getting my own place back this fall.  Good to see all of you.  Please hang in there and continue your quests in getting off this tramahell!  

Hugs,

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by serenenow, Jun 27, 2012
Goatfarmer, I just actually went back and read your post.  I'm not surprised that the makers of Ultram responded in the way they did.  How else would they make their money especially if they began to buy into the issue that this drug functions like a narcotic?!  I'm thinking they have already been receiving alot of backlash for the hundreds of thousands of people in which this drug has caused an addiction.  I'm hoping that it's just a matter of (very little) time that the government pushes the issue of making this drug become classified as a narcotic.  

I went to the pharmacist near the campground where I camped last weekend and he was suprisingly very helpful.  I was looking for 5-HTP and they did not have it.  He did explain that melatonin turns into 5 HTP once it's into the system a couple of days.  I had a very informative conversation with him for a good 30 minutes.  I left the pharmacy, for once, feeling good about something I'd purchased, besides tramadol, that would help me return to normal.

One thing I've had to really accept about myself is that I am a recovering addict.  I have been for several years until this last 6 with this drug.  So once I got with the acceptance of the nature of addiction and the things outside of myself that I use for instant gratification or self medication, including Tramadol, it became easier to deal with the withdrawals and take it one day at a time so that I could move on and have a happier life each day.   Grant it I've had to push myself to do things on a daily basis because my mind and body have been trying to pull me down but I've been persistent with getting up in the morning and beginning the day with something positive and productive.  Even if it's just making my bed or straightening up the house.  Yard work, walking, talking to family and/or friends, job hunt, something.  

I'm so grateful for being off this drug...I can't even convey this feeling onto the screen LOL...I hope you can picture a grown woman doing a "happy dance."

Hugs,

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by Rysho, Jun 27, 2012
well, I did it! The w/d symptoms are gone and the melatonin at night has helped me sleep. I feel like a new man! now starts my life with none of that nasty **** anymore!  Thank you all for your kind words and wonderfull advice!

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by legaljunky, Jun 27, 2012
It's so good to come to the forum and see there are still warriors fighting Tramadevil. I come back and read every week or so and feel the strength I had during my battle and I'm so grateful to all of you for reminding me that I fought hard and won. I felt so triumphant when all the awfuls were gone and I felt totally like me again.  For me that was around day 130 of 0 Tram.  And then I got off sugar and wheat and felt even better.  
I just spent a week with my daughter and her family and back-slid a little- on wheat and sugar, not Tramadevil!  So I'm here to say that I'm honestly back to NO SUGAR and NO WHEAT!

Sending strength, love and perseverance!

Can't wait to see my ticker!

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by serenenow, Jun 28, 2012
Thank you legaljunky for sharing with us!  I'm glad to see you are still tramafree.  Rysho I'm so glad you are off of it.  It just gets better and better from that point on.  I can't remember if it was damtram or Denise that said it gets better after 2 weeks.  I'm at day 17 or 18 and each day I've awakened, I feel better than the day before!  I'm loving it.  All my senses are so alive and being outside is just absolutely amazing for me!  I've been sitting on the back deck swing just watching nature for hours, absorbing it all in instead of the tramahell.  It's so much different now.  I remember feeling this when I got off of it almost 11 years ago and had been enjoying that up until 6 years ago at the beginning of my tramahell all over again.  NEVER again will I let it happen.  

Looking back at the last 6 years I'm SO GRATEFUL I didn't inadvertently kill my dang self on this drug!  It sure could have happened at any given moment.

Tramwarriors keep on with the healing.
Those of you who are wanting to get off this tramahell train heading straight for a tramawreck, please either talk to your docs and just do it, or if you don't trust your doc anymore, just do it.  Either way, you are being robbed of your life and freedom.

Hugs,  

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by aperson3432, Jun 29, 2012
47 days clear!  Wahoo!

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by epoc, Jun 29, 2012
I had 15 days tramadol free earlier this month but I had some stressful times at school and took some more on and off for a few days at a time. I am now 6 days tramadol free after my relapse. I'm feeling OK today, a bit stressed. As I mentioned earlier in the thread my girlfriend takes tramadol as well and we have hundreds of them sitting in the medicine cabinet. I find myself thinking about them sometimes. It would be so much easier without those pills hanging over my head but I can't tell my girlfriend I'm an addict with no self control and she needs to hide them. That would not go ever well.

So basically I just need to keep staying strong and exercising some willpower. I wish that was as easy as it sounds.

One day at a time.

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by serenenow, Jun 30, 2012
Quite honestly the obsessing on them being in the med cabinet will eventually lead you back to taking them.  Have you considered outside help?  12 step program or counseling?  Something to where you aren't feeling like you have to keep your addiction a secret?  I know for me, keeping it a secret kept me on the drug.  I began confiding in close friends, people in a 12 step program, and this forum.  

Congrats on your 6 days!  One day at a time.

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by denised1982, Jul 01, 2012
Got a question. You know how tramadol is structurally similar to Effexor? Well, I was doing some reading up on Effexor, and it is shown to raise your cholesterol. Would tram do the same thing? I'm just wondering, because when I went to the doctor to see about getting off those damn things I had my labs drawn and got my cholesterol  checked and it was high. Only way to find out is to get it checked again, I was just curious if there's a connection.

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by serenenow, Jul 02, 2012
That is an interesting question denise.  While I was on it, my cholesterol was high at different times as well.  However, it's hard to say really what has cause the spike in cholesterol.  I know my yo-yo-ing in weight gain and loss hasn't helped.  

My birthday was yesterday and it was brought to my attention, lol, by a few that I've gained rapidly again and they are concerned about my health.  I've noticed that I've been eating alot of carbs since stopping tramadol so I need to get health conscience again about what I put into my body now.  I've done this before but it seems that the last time I stopped a drug, my cravings for carbs, pasta, etc. spiked for a minute...so I wouldn't be surprised if my cholesterol was up right now.

Perhaps ask a health professional that question.

Hugs,

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by serenenow, Jul 03, 2012
DamTram are you still around?  Hadn't heard from you lately.

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by DamTram, Jul 03, 2012
I am. Medhelp won't load on my computer, anymore. I just got an iPad, and will write more, later. :) How are you? Denise, there are so many reasons that someone on Effexor or Tramadol would have high cholesterol that aren't even related to those drugs' biochemistries.

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by serenenow, Jul 04, 2012
Good to see you DT.  I'm doing well.  I'm feeling better by the day :).  Glad to see you back with us and I noticed your tracker...207 days!  That's awesome!

I'm still moving forward.

Hugs,



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by Rysho, Jul 04, 2012
Well, still here and still tram free! Been really hot here and work has been busy so it's been keeping my mind occupied and the melatonin helped wonders.


  

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by serenenow, Jul 06, 2012
Very glad to see you Rysho and great job for hanging on.  It just keeps getting better and better.

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by EmilyPost, Jul 06, 2012
This thread is closed.

Please move to part 53!

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/513639/Tramadol--Ultram-Recovery-Room-Part-53

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by nannero, Sep 06, 2012
Hi everyone.  I found this site a few years ago when I realized how addictive tram is.  I had a bad case of the flu and hadn't taken any for a few days.  All sorts of weird crap started happening and I was wondering if it was the tramadol causing it.  When I started researching how to get off the crap it scared the he** out of me so I continued on the tram train until now.  To make a long story short I was given tram 4-5 years ago for back pain.  It's nonaddictive, right???  I liked it so much I kept taking it.  My BF has a scrip so it's readily available and then wonder of wonders, I could order it online!  WooHoo!  I should've know it was too good to be true.  I'm an alcoholic and haven't had a drink in over 10 years.  I can't say I'm sober.  Not while I'm taking tramadol.  Anyway, my last shipment is late so I cut down from 4 a day to 2 a day 3 days ago and just one yesterday.  Now I'm out and starting withdrawals.  I'm scared out of my mind!  I want off this sh** so bad.  I went to a health food store yesterday and stocked up on some amino acids, vit c, SamE.  I have to go to work today.  Will see how that goes :(  Any advice, help would be greatly appreciated!  

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by iamdone84, Sep 13, 2012
Ok here I go time after time I have tried to get through this ...:( my symptoms are like every one else!  Iam now 24 hours into detox! I know I want this so bad my kids and husband are counting on me  just need some one who has been in my whose to let me know its gonna be OK!  24hours clean and deppression is bad I scared to tell the doc ...what's really going on but he did give me20mg celexa and buspar I hope it helps

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by EmilyPost, Sep 13, 2012
Hi Loves ...  don't want anyone to get lost ....


This thread is closed.

Please move to part 53!

http://www.medhelp.org/user_journals/show/513639/Tramadol--Ultram-Recovery-Room-Part-53


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