Day 1: Tapering off Tramadol

I just found EmilyPost's journal yesterday and Thank God I did because now I know I'm Not Going Crazy! My doctor prescribed Tramadol (Ultram) for me right at a year ago for upper back pain. Like just about everyone else here I looked it up and everything I found said "it's safe!" "it's not addictive!" "it's not really an opiate! It just looks like one!" well if it looks like a duck....you know the rest.

I've tried several times to get off of this drug because I no longer have problems with my back. My pain is now easily managed without drugs, but so far I have not been able to deal with the withdrawal hell of getting off this drug. NOW I take it to control restless legs syndrome WHICH WAS CAUSED BY THE TRAMADOL! Whenever I don't take it I immediately start feeling like I have the flu without the congestion. I get stomach cramps and I have these weird emotional issues that have no association with anything. Someone says hello to me and I have to fight to keep from breaking down in tears. But by far the worst thing ever is the cruel irony of the debilitating fatigue and muscle weakness coupled with the RLS. Did you ever have days when you did not have the strength or energy to stand, but your joints would not allow you to be still? I cave every time, and after reading EmilyPost's journal, now I realize what it is that makes me give in: FEAR. Fear that I won't be able to sleep because I'll have to pace around my living room all night, and if I don't sleep I won't be able to function the next day, which means I won't be able to go to work, which is BAD BAD BAD since I'm a school teacher. Then the fear of "how long will I have to suffer this way?" sets in and I find myself twisting the cap off the rat poison and downing a couple of little white pills.

The strangest thing about this demon drug is that it makes me crave cigarettes like a coke addict. I quit smoking in 2000 and had gotten to the point where I could not even stand to smell cigarette smoke until I started taking Tramadol. Now when I'm on the drug I chain smoke like crazy! It's insane! I know it's the tramadol triggering the cigarette cravings because during the time when one dose wears off before I take the next one I find my cigarettes repulsive. I don't want them, I can't stand the smell of them, and if I try to smoke one it makes me nauseated. But an hour after I take the demon drug I can sit down and smoke half a pack without thinking twice about it. I've told 3 different doctors about this "side effect" and all 3 had the same response: "hm. that's odd." How about "wow it seems like this drug is *@#$ing up your brain chemistry maybe we should try something else????" What is it with these doctors????? I've given up on traditional medicine.

Until I found this place, I thought it was just me. I thought I was becoming this totally mental hypochondriac and was starting to believe the dozen doctors I've been to who keep telling me that I'm just "depressed" and to go see a psychiatrist. No one has believed me that it's the tramadol that's making me crazy! Lucky for me, I found Emily! Reading Emily's story has given me the motivation and confidence to deal with the withdrawal and get off this drug.

Wish me luck!

Kick Tramadol in the Butt Tracker