Feb 06, 2008 02:09PM
- comments
Last night I had a really bad epistode with panic. My heart didn't get racing too fast but that's been the case with a lot of my panic lately. My heart will generally be fine but I still can't shake my feeling that something really bad is happening to me at that moment. A tried to weather it for as long as I could but ended up taking 1/2 of an ativan after a couple hours. Even with that it still took another 3 hours for me to wind down enough to where I could go to sleep.
I feel really bad because lately it's been the case where I have to isolate myself when these attacks hit. I have to send everyone out of the room and just lie there suffering for hours on end. My wife was definitely hurt last night when I kicked her and the baby out but she was more understanding afterward. Still, it's something I hate to have to do. It's total ********. Why can't I just get a prescription or something and get over these damned attacks. I'm trying to attack this on all fronts but counseling alone isn't helping and my doctor doesn't seem to give a rip during our $190 2-minute face-to-face contact. I feel okay now but I'm already dreading a repeat of last night tonight, which will most likely happen because I am practically willing it to happen by worrying about it right now.
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