May 12, 2012
i feel so freaking alone right now. we got back from the disneyland grad night trip this morning and i've felt like crap since. im tired, i hurt, and pretty bummed about how the trip wasn't as fun as it should've been. but, what's really got me messed up is i made the mistake of expressing my always-wrong-political-opinions to my best friend [[she didnt go on the trip]] and we ended up almost fighting. that always happens because we cant agree on politics for **** and i have trouble not sharing my opinions sometimes. even if everybody hates what i think, i want to say it sometime, to try to get these idiot republican oakies to understand how evil they are in what they believe. but, i'm wrong in wanting to do that, because i always, without fail get **** for it. and now i think my best friend's mad at me. i wanna say i'm sorry, but she's not on facebook and i dont want to be annoying and text her. and its the worst when its her i cant talk to, because she's the only one i feel safe enough confiding in. i cant even go past the superficial with my boyfriend. so with no one to talk to, i'm just all bottled up inside. i cant stand it.
i'm just so sick of the feeling that i'm losing her, losing my best friend, the person who understands me better than anyone else ever will.