So I'm in this stressfull, thrilling, frustrating, fun, politicaly nasty gospel choir and "small" women's group. There were originally about nine of us in this "girls" group - hand selected from this 60 person (and growing) volunteers in the choir. Well, then our leader's ***** wife found out about it and attached herself to us. This woman can sing - well enough for this large choir but a small group? Nah-ah. She went and opened it up to everyone in the choir! Well, after I counted 17 of us ladies one practice I arranged a meeting. I put forth the ideas that if we had open enrollment we had no quality control and and we were getting three altos for every soprano! - forcing myself and another also to go over to that section when ever they needed help! I asked, "If you were putting together, say, a math team, a bowling league, a typist's club - you wouldn't want me. I SUCK at these things, as well as many others. Why then is it anethema to suggest that some folks sing better than others? They do ya know." I was methodical, logical even but the other members were cowed by this woman's presense.This is when I was called an "exclusionist" by her! If you know anything about logic you'll know that name calling is a way to bring an enlightened discussion to an abrupt end. I AM an exclusionist! I want to exclude women who don't sing very well from our small women's group (like her)! Our leader is a slave to her so has to back up all her opinions or catch hell. Okay, then there was this song where there has to be a lead part to sing the verses. The second altos had it - when this woman joined us she wanted the sopranos (which she is one) to try it. They did. They tanked and the second altos got it back. This steamed her so after a few weeks I came in late to find that she was sitting in my chair! We both have asthma so I nicely asked her, "Are you feeling well tonight, Linda? Some days when I have a bad case of asthma I could almost sing base!" She turned to me and sneered, "I can sit where ever I want !!!" I mean how childish can one be? NOT sit where her weak voice MIGHT be of some use. NOT sit where she does every day in our choir (a group where the sopranos always get the leads) but she sits in what is unarguably the strongest vocal section already for this song with a long solo only and then walks back to her spot after it's over every performance! This woman has NO shame! And does anyone say a thing? No. Well, TODAY I find out that this stupid name (that was thought of by a man) was finally decided on for our women's group name in my absence last week. "The Hot Flashes"! It is sexist, ageist, and not even funny. I have to say I probably resent it more cause I'm only 44. Anyway, I asked them why the small MEN'S group we have isn't called the 'The PROSTRATE-ors" or the "Viro...pausels" then? Their medium age is far greater than ours. I'm pissed. I wrote a letter and shot it off to every woman in our "small" group. I have a mailbox full of replies but I know what I'll see. Half the women agree with me about how dorky the name is but they hold our leader on a pedastal and are afraid of his wife so they won't make waves. I wish things like this didn't madden me the way they do. I'm pretty sure this is part of me is my condition but I don't know how to control it and, worse of all, I don't even think I want to.