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Sunday, February 10, 2008 11:36pm CST
Feb 10, 2008 11:51PM
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"This is the day that the Lord hath made, I will rejoice and be glad in it." ~ Today has been a day of sleeping for me! The CF has been worse today than it has ever been. The depression is following suit as well. I look forward to a great day tomorrow.
My condition has worsened in the last week dramatically. I have been in denial about it, and I think it has hit me emotionally today like a ton of bricks. It has been several years since my diagnosis. At that time, as I think back, I had wondered how I could have been diagnosed with something as "horrible" as a condition called Fibromyalgia. I did have pain, and I did have fatigue, but it was controllable. I did not have to take any meds for it. I had a NAME for the condition I was in! That made it better right there!
But now. Oh me! Now, it hurts to breathe! It hurts to put clothes on my body. It hurts to brush my teeth. It hurts to lay my body on my bed because my skin has to touch the covers. It hurts to cover my body. It hurts to sit, to stand, to walk, to talk, and on, and on, and on. But, you have to keep fighting. You have to keep going! You have no choice! Well, you do! But! Even with all of this, I live for my children and my grandchildren. They bring sunshine into my life! And then there is my best friend....and SHE knows who she is!!!!
I have a lot of "things" that I have to get taken care of tomorrow. Following that, I hope to have more time to relax during the day so that my symptoms will calm themselves a little and maybe I can get to feeling better soon. I do not want this to be the "next step" in my condition. I'm not ready to go forward! I want to go backward.
My condition has worsened in the last week dramatically. I have been in denial about it, and I think it has hit me emotionally today like a ton of bricks. It has been several years since my diagnosis. At that time, as I think back, I had wondered how I could have been diagnosed with something as "horrible" as a condition called Fibromyalgia. I did have pain, and I did have fatigue, but it was controllable. I did not have to take any meds for it. I had a NAME for the condition I was in! That made it better right there!
But now. Oh me! Now, it hurts to breathe! It hurts to put clothes on my body. It hurts to brush my teeth. It hurts to lay my body on my bed because my skin has to touch the covers. It hurts to cover my body. It hurts to sit, to stand, to walk, to talk, and on, and on, and on. But, you have to keep fighting. You have to keep going! You have no choice! Well, you do! But! Even with all of this, I live for my children and my grandchildren. They bring sunshine into my life! And then there is my best friend....and SHE knows who she is!!!!
I have a lot of "things" that I have to get taken care of tomorrow. Following that, I hope to have more time to relax during the day so that my symptoms will calm themselves a little and maybe I can get to feeling better soon. I do not want this to be the "next step" in my condition. I'm not ready to go forward! I want to go backward.