4th day!  

I really am so proud of myself, sorry if that sounds self rightous but hey!!!!  I was sooooooooo   scared to stop.  I almost feel my eyes are seeing clearer, is that possible?  Everything is more beautiful.  Even my husband and my boys!!!  I thought oxys gave me life but those SOB's trick you!!!!!!!@!!!!!!!!I just pray my husband sees how much it changes me and he wants off too.  God is my strength.  My dad smoked pot all my life and was a very 'functioning' smoker.  He worked for the county and drove heavy equipment.  At the age of 41 he was diagnosed with lung cancer and had surgery on his lung.  My mom had prayed for that man for 17 years faithfully.  4 months after he had surgery he a grand mall seizure and found 3 tumors in his brain.  He had 2 brain surgery's in a month.  He quit pot and turned his life to God and never turned back.  That was Feb 1992 (seems like yesterday), and he became the most Godly man I had ever seen!!!!!  He never took ANY pain meds, just tylenol.  The tumors were ravidly consuming his whole body.  I bought him a shirt that on the front it had Jesus on the front with a cross on his back and doing a push up.  On the back it said "His pain your gain".  Many times I would see my dad holding his head in shear pain and I would say dad are you ok and he would ask me to read the back of his shirt.  I would and he would tell me that the pain that he is going thru is NOTHING compared to the pain that Jesus bore on the cross for him.  I would cry but just last night when my RLS was about to drive me out of my mond, I thought of him and cried so hard.  It has been 15 years since he has died but I know I will see him again!  HE wanted to be clear minded in his last days.  Sorry if I offend anyone but this is my journal and I need to type.  My first day all alone.  I miss my dad so much, we all miss ones we have lost.  I hope You all \have great days, clear minded and free from the devils drug!  Love to you ALL!!!