May 30, 2012
I would really want to maybe date you, you know? But you don't and you may never know, unless it's [finally] obvious that I like you. I've liked you for quite some time now, maybe about almost 3 months? That's a long time, huh. I read that If you like someone for more than 3-4 months, you no longer like them, but you pretty much love them. You make me really happy, without even trying. Maybe that's why I usually fall for idiots [not in an insulting way], because they can make you laugh without trying. You're really funny, and weird. You remind me of this one guy that used to have a crush on me when I was in 5th grade. He loved to climb on things, run on them, jump off, pretty much free run. He was the person that got me into climbing on and jumping off things. It's funny, he was one year younger than me, and you're like a year older than me. Without knowing, you saved me from self pity. You also stopped me from crying over two guys, your best friend and someone I haven't seen in years [and may never see him again]. I have embarrassing thoughts in my head, and one of our friends know what they are[haha]. You're one of my best guy friends, and I can't imagine going to high school without you. It'd be boring. A lot of our friends and I would miss you, really. Aside from all that, me really liking you. I don't care if you don't like me back, that's the least of my worries. It's more like, I don't want you to change for anyone. You be who you are, and someone will like you. It's not impossible, see? I fell for your idiocy haha. When/If you figure out that I like you, I just don't want anything to change. Although, you probably know that I like you by now don't you? It should be pretty obvious ha. I don't care if you don't like me... I never care if the person I like doesn't like me back.. it just means that they aren't the one. That doesn't mean that I'll let go of you easily. I'll still like you.. it'll just go away faster than before. Even if I'm okay with rejection, I'm more afraid of what confessing could do to our friendship. I don't want things to change, and that's my greatest fear. I really like you, and I do wish that the feeling was mutual.
These words will never be spoken to you, I probably will never tell you these words. All I will say right now is, I wish I could say these words to you.