Feb 19, 2008
I have been dealing with this issue for far too long. It is time to grow up and get a life. Stop making excuses, deal with the pain and get it over with already. I went for 6 days without having anything in my system and i thought I was going to lose my mind. I thought the muscles in my legs and arms were going to jump out through my skin, hot, cold, sweating, couldn't sit still and forget about sleep.
That was February 8, 2008 to February 15, 2008. Then what did I do, stupid me, took some Methadone. Well Now I am out again and no way to get any, and I am so sick and tired of spending all of my money on this ****. In 4 years time I have spent $28,000 just on Methadone. Someone please kick me.
Today is February 19, 2008 and tomorrow I will start the withdrawals all over again. I wish I had the means of getting that recipe, it sounds like it would make it at least tolerable. Well with or without it I am going to overcome this demon, it has had control over my life for far too long. There are just a some things that I am scared to death of and it may sound crazy but the biggest fear I have is ME. Who the hell am I? I have forgotten.
By the way....I lost my dad in August 2007 and my mother just passed February 7, 2008. I am doing this for my mother. I hate that I didn't do this for her while she was alive, but I pray that she will watch over me and keep me sane and most of all I hope she will be proud of me........... someday.
any feedback will be appreciated..Thanks