Dec 05, 2008
I slept really poorly last night. Got no more than 2 hours total sleep and never more than 1/2 hr. at a time. I mainly usxed the bed like a rotistorie (sp?), turning round and round, over and over constantly due to leg/feet needles and pins pain. Crazy thing is that it was worse last night than on any day before.
That frightens me looking forward, caue i have piles of work to do when I get back to work on Monday. And then there is the waork i "planned' to do while I was on vacation., which i can't seem to quite get around to. I must admit, the thought of popings 200 mgs. right about now sounds attractive, if only so i can get some work done. Focus, clarity, drive, clear head and symptom free body sounds REAL attractive.
But I am reminded that "that is how this terrible drug keeps it's hooks in you". It has worked on my by promising focus, clarity, drive, clear head and a symptom free body. So this morning, it's the allure of what I know could be, more than it is the physical pain of withdrawal that is on my mind. I am not sure I would want to make any big decisions about anything important in my current state.
So I'll just keep coming back to these posts, reading what worked for other people, and determining moment by precious moment and that this is going to work out and that mornings like THIS morning and nights like LAST night will be fewer and farther between.
But it's a sneaky, foggy, confusing, path I am on.