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the now
Feb 20, 2008 12:24PM
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I have been addicted to oxycodone since I went through chemo, I just finished de-tox and I am in outpatient rehab for 6 to 8 weeks and with the exception of my 5 days in de-tox I haven't stopped using...so today is my first day of sobriety and it just so happens that I got my bloodwork today and my liver enzymes are all normall I am still waiting for the results of my viral load but I am so thrilled that the drugs have not roasted my liver. I quit drinking alcohol the day I was diagjnosed in 1999 but I started using heavy duty painkillers instead, Really bad idea. Now I am doing to try to learn how to live sober and it scares me to death, At least when I use I forget about the hep c but it's always there just waiting to overwhelm me with what ifs. How do you help the panic attacks when they just come out of the blue? Well, I guess that's enough garbage for one setting , More tomorrow,
That sounds really exciting. Have you tried visiting the addiction forums to find some helpful and supportive members who can give you good advise?
I hope as it is now December that you have found some serenity through all of this. I am presently going through chemo and have 18 years clean and had to make some tough decisions about pain control. There are some great meetings online and the support is precious. I take each day one day at a time and when the pain is bad I take it one moment at a time and do alot of praying to get through treatments without pain medication as I know my addictive personality but this was a personal choice I made which I rethink through the worst of pain second by second. It is not easy fighting an invisible illness on top of a life threatning illness.
I was diagnosed with cancer in 1989 which was ovarian and through that blessing I became clean from addiction and also beat the odds with cancer. Two years ago I knew something was wrong with me right when everything in my world seemed so right and learned I had a new cancer and it was in the bone. I am so grateful for the amount of sobriety that I have and I actually started searching for stories about others on chemo and how taking pain medications affected their sobriety. I do not know about you but I feel like the pain medication is pushed with chemo treatment and I knew this was something I could not deal with as with my addiction the drug takes control and I have struggled with this constantly and endured much. In the beginning of this year I actually moved to a neighboring state to put some distance between me and well meaning friends and family who feel I should just give in and take pain medicine as they could not handle seeing me in so much pain and suffering. Our struggles although they come from within, I have learned is usually because of a hole that needs to be fixed inside. I wish you the best and can not stress enough how important it is to surround yourself with people who will encourage and lift you up to achieve your serenity and sobriety.
Malanie
I was diagnosed with cancer in 1989 which was ovarian and through that blessing I became clean from addiction and also beat the odds with cancer. Two years ago I knew something was wrong with me right when everything in my world seemed so right and learned I had a new cancer and it was in the bone. I am so grateful for the amount of sobriety that I have and I actually started searching for stories about others on chemo and how taking pain medications affected their sobriety. I do not know about you but I feel like the pain medication is pushed with chemo treatment and I knew this was something I could not deal with as with my addiction the drug takes control and I have struggled with this constantly and endured much. In the beginning of this year I actually moved to a neighboring state to put some distance between me and well meaning friends and family who feel I should just give in and take pain medicine as they could not handle seeing me in so much pain and suffering. Our struggles although they come from within, I have learned is usually because of a hole that needs to be fixed inside. I wish you the best and can not stress enough how important it is to surround yourself with people who will encourage and lift you up to achieve your serenity and sobriety.
Malanie
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