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I hate my life
Dec 13, 2008 12:31PM
- 5 comments
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My BF came home yesterday & berated and bitched and yelled at me about all the things I've neglected to do over the last year or so. I thought he was supportive of me & understanding that once I get this frigging drug out of my system I'll be more productive. Honestly I don't even care anymore. I'm not appreciated, no wonder I took so much ******* tramadol. To zone out so I wouldn't notice. I just feel like such a loser. No let me rectify that. I am a ******* loser. I hate myself, I hate my life, and I am just so damned tired of hurting. Mentally, physically, you name it. I have had a really crappy life & I have tried so hard to be optimistic and make my life better, but I just don't even care. I'm not suicidal, but I really do not care if I live or die. The only thing I would regret leaving this earth for is my cats. How ******* sad is that?
You are not a loser there are so many that have been right where you are and I am one of them .Plz come look at the addiction forum there our so many that can lend you some support .I hope come check it out .I sent you a PM as well.
Avis
Avis
Hey darlin,
we can't dwell on the coulda-woulda-shoulda's in our life... I'm slowly learning that. Im a recovering junkie hooker with nowhere to live, no car, no money, no job. But im still hanging in there. As addicts we need to be thankful for what we DO have, instead of what we dont have. I don't know how many times I've looked in the mirror with a needle in my neck and thought 'wow, i def didn't picture this for myself!' We all feel like losers for getting ourselves in a world of pain, but we CAN fix it. One step at a time. You have great cats? I have a cool kitty, too. That's one thing that has gotten me by with a smile!
we can't dwell on the coulda-woulda-shoulda's in our life... I'm slowly learning that. Im a recovering junkie hooker with nowhere to live, no car, no money, no job. But im still hanging in there. As addicts we need to be thankful for what we DO have, instead of what we dont have. I don't know how many times I've looked in the mirror with a needle in my neck and thought 'wow, i def didn't picture this for myself!' We all feel like losers for getting ourselves in a world of pain, but we CAN fix it. One step at a time. You have great cats? I have a cool kitty, too. That's one thing that has gotten me by with a smile!
Hey,
I can completely relate to how you feel...I still sort of feel the same way but not as much now. You don't need the stress of an abusive BF...my hub is sort of a jekyl and hyde. Right now, I'm putting that fact aside and working very hard on ME. Take care of YOURSELF and pay attention to the doors that open for you. A lot of times, when doors open, people are looking another way. Not necessarily the WRONG way. Anyway, my mom gave me this advice from an old Johnny Cash song..The Gambler...You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. You could spend years of your life chasing something that probably isn't destined for you or you can work with what you have and make a plan.OK, enough preaching, sorry. This was good to get off my chest and exactly where I'm at right now. A turning point...hmmmm....which way do I go???
I can completely relate to how you feel...I still sort of feel the same way but not as much now. You don't need the stress of an abusive BF...my hub is sort of a jekyl and hyde. Right now, I'm putting that fact aside and working very hard on ME. Take care of YOURSELF and pay attention to the doors that open for you. A lot of times, when doors open, people are looking another way. Not necessarily the WRONG way. Anyway, my mom gave me this advice from an old Johnny Cash song..The Gambler...You got to know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em. You could spend years of your life chasing something that probably isn't destined for you or you can work with what you have and make a plan.OK, enough preaching, sorry. This was good to get off my chest and exactly where I'm at right now. A turning point...hmmmm....which way do I go???
Your life is not hopeless. I agree to look around the forums here. There are people who've been where you are. They can help. It's alright if you're modivation to stay alive right now is your animal friends.
stay with us, don't let him talk to you that way. your life is worth living. post and keep reading post. we are here to help you.
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