Some things I've been thinking about

I realized that I haven't thought about what makes me happy in awhile. lately I've just gone with what NEEDS to be done. but then when you are always doing what needs to be done, in my case anyway, I get bored. I start making excuses to put things off until another day.

The best example I can think of is a three day course held over 3 weeks. 1 day a weekend. and I've been working on the multiple choice books for over a month. they don't mind and have been kind enough to let me work at my own pace. but the boredom of doing chapters upon chapters or multiple choice bores me and I put it off. luck for me I am almost done and will be able to move on to the next section of the course.

I get bored often and rarely do what I should. I will watch TV or go on the internet (lately facebook and medhelp) when I know that I could tidy my room (even though I keep it fairly neat) I could do laundry or even jump on the Treadmill with my IPod. Instead I opt for whats simple. and just last year the simple thing wasn't to watch TV, it was to work out. I loved working out.

I don't feel like myself anymore. I feel annoyed with myself all the time because I know that this Lazy person I've become isn't me. its not who I am and I'm sick of not being myself. I want to lose all the weight I've put on and keep it off. Though I am proud of myself. yesterday when I got home from work I actually managed to stay on the treadmill for a half hour.

I think the key to my work out success yesterday is that I found music that has the right sound to keep me working out. though I do hate the awful squeaking that my treadmill makes when I up my pace. very annoying.

My plan for today is to listen to the same type of music and jump on the treadmill for the same amount of time.

As for what else makes me happy? I love to paint, draw, graphic design, photography, writing. I'm an artsy person. I love to see my friends to. its why I loved school so much. Now I hardly go out. I sit at home and be lazy. and I hate it.

I want to paint more, use my tablet more, workout more, take more pictures or just draw more. And I want to be able to cook and bake in my own kitchen. But that will have to wait as we have 7 months to move. and when we do, I am 100% sure that things will change. there will be no more take out unless its 1 day a weekend or every other weekend. no more fast food during the week unless its subway. and no quick meals. when Its our place there will be no boxed meals, breaded chicken or fries. well ok thats not true but I'll be spending the bit extra on fat free or low fat ones. I have high hopes for when my fiance and I really start our life together.

I think I'll end it here. though not complete, I'm at a loss for what else to say :P