Heading home

Im heading home finally after almost a month down south (SC) with my sister; I originally sent myself down here because i knew i had to slow my roll and i didn't want to jepordize my brother sobriety once he came back from re-hab, so the day he came back i was on a plane heading down here. It was a good thing i guess but at the same time i feel like i shouldn't have done it because now i have expectations from my family of being clean and not even smoking pot...which is complete bull because i wont stop that..i am a marijuana supporter in all ways, i love it and thats what i do..they cant stop me from that..They keep telling me when i get back i cant hang out with one of my best friends (I lived with this cat, hes my boy..they arent gonna tell me i cant chill with him..im 20 years old, im gonna do what i want) and i cant smoke pot--and if/when i do this..they will kick me out...honestly, if thats how they are..they are just driving me to a even worse addiction..But if thats who they are, screw them..i dont need that ****..i guess as u can tell im pissd here..the more i think about them wanting to kick me out for smoking pot n hanging out with a few of my boys, the more if pisses me off..Its those things that make me not want to say im an addict because addicts have to change their whole lifes like that..its ********, im 20 n i just allowed myself to fall a little too much and used a drug that was just stronger than myself..and i have realized that and i will not allow my life to fall apart any further..but they feel i need to do all these changes as if i was like my brother, which i am not..i am myself and i do not have the same issues as him..Absolute bull here..im so mad at this..its this kind of **** that makes me just want to numb it all with some lovely OC..AGHH! i geuss thats all the venting i can do now..okay...'till next time...