Not been on in awhile so Thought I'd give an update

Ok. So I haven't been on in weeks.... I've got good news and bad news.

The good is that I've found out that I do Not have Lupus! I'm so happy about that!! But! then what is it that I have. we'll I see the rhumatologist at some point so hopefully this guy(or girl) can tell me whats wrong with me.

As for weight...I'm not staying on track. its so hard. I am still at 185lbs....I hate it. but I don't see much else I can do about it right now. besides run the treadmill and really try to put out more energy than I have. :(

I lost my job... I was devistated... I was actually Laid-off. I wasn't working long enough to get un-employment and they laid me off the friday before Christmas. thats like saying "merry christmas! good luck finding another job" it really hurt me. I liked my job. and it was the one place I've worked that I've felt comfortable. yes, I had my off days where I would curse co-workers while ranting to my fiance. but still I loved it there. and now I fear that I won't be able to get another job. before getting that job it took me nearly 6 months to find a job. I was having no luck! it got to the point where I was forced to settle for McDonalds.... That made me so upset.

Anyway. Today I feel sick. I feel nauseous, dizzy and very fatigued. I would love to go to bed. and I might just do that. I feel a little depressed. I want to move out of this town and start new. but I can't cause obviously I don't have a job!!!!

School starts in Aug and I need to get my SFA applications in and my High School transcripts in the mail for the college to go over. not to mention finding another job. I just wish that life were a bit easier.

I'm going to stop here. I need to draw to get some of this emotion out.