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Oxykicker is
23 days clean but suffering.
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Male, 55, cambridge - United Kingdom
Love life, fishing, golf and being drug free
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MY PERSONAL DIARY OF OXYCONTIN WITHDRAWAL.
Feb 25, 2008 09:15PM
- 4 comments
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MY PERSONAL DIARY OF OXYCONTIN WITHDRAWAL.
May I briefly fill in a little background.I am David aged 55 and employed as a postman/driver/sorter, well up until 38 months ago I had never been into hospital,well boy was that about to change. I went to my GP complaning of no sense of smell, saw a surgeon and surgery was recomended, I was given a prescription for Prednisone, a steroid, this gave me some sense of smell, and here's the but, I had the operation and still could not smell, so more Prednisone, well the upshot is that the steroids have caused my Osteo-Necrosis, this is when the heads of the long bones die, so have now had core decompression on one hip and the other totally replaced.
Oxycontin.- While awaiting the scan results I was given oxycontin for pain relief, this seemed to do the trick for 2 weeks, 10mg 2x a day, then things hurt again so up the dose went 20mg 2x a day, then 40mg 2x a day, then 80mg 2x a day and up to 120mg 2x a day, recognise the scenereo anyone??..
Well after the operation I thought I'd better cut down as constipation was real bad issue, up to 45mins to pass what seemed like an Elephant, I even ruptured a nose blood vessel with the straining at one time, and as a friend who had had the same operation was off painkillers after 3 weeks I thought now's the time. ( 05/12/07 ) So taking the bull by the horns I cut down to 40mg 2x a day, and never expected what happens next.
Just after Christmas 07 my 40mg 2x a day started, then I caught a virus, and was very ill, and it just would not go away, nausea, aches and pains all over, I blamed it all on this virus, never really suspecting the real culprit, yes you know don't you, it was because I had cut down on the oxycontin, and my body was craving it, this went on for 7 weeks, until one day it dawned on me what it was, by this time I had become tired all the time, getting up early and doing nothing, then backwards and forwards to bed, never hardly going out or doing anything, it was such an effort just to have a bath once a week, and the constant yawning, and coughing in the morning was a real drag,Oh and when I told my GP about cutting down she said, and I quote, ' why would you want to do that ?. Eh AMAZED.
So Thursday 21/02/08 16:00 I got all the tablets I had, over 300, put them all in a bag and returned them to the chemist, and that was the start of my journey into the bowels of HELL!!!!! Below you will find my journey to reality ( Please remember I was suffering greatly when writing, so at times it may seem a bit emotional........And it was.
MY JOURNEY THROUGH WITHDRAWAL.
Thursday 4pm. Last of the Oxy ( This is how I will refer to the drug from now on.) Nauseaus through the night.
Friday 6am. Pain in legs and arms a bit of nausea, ache all over, no appitite.
Friday 10pm. Bed-No sleep at all ( up and down all night ), legs arms crazy could not rest or stay still, kicking quilt off then on , the standing up sitting, oh my arms and legs were a nightmare ( worst night I have ever experienced ).
Saturday am. had about 20 mins broken sleep, feel sick and ache all over, nausea, sweats hot/cold, have tried to sleep again - no success. Decide there and then to return the pills ( Oxy ) I am very very weepy and crying, I have lost 18 months of my life to those ******* tablets ( angry now, and more determined than ever to get my life back ).
Saturday 14:30 Started writing this diary.
Saturday 14:45 Tried to sleep again but arms and legs were going crazy, the pits.
Saturday 16:00 Went for 3 mile walk, very emotional, crying lots to myself at memories past occasions, legs hurt, arms hurt.
Saturday 17;30 Watch telly and chat with Terri, then on the computer to read more oxy horror stories, start to get shivers and feel wooly headed and sick, legs hurt and feel nauseas.
18;00 Collect curry, feel real bad, pint of Guiness was awful, felt really bad on way home, sick when stopped car/have meal/bed/cannot sleep up about 10 times, pains in legs arms and now shoulder.
11:00pm Yawning real bad and shoulders ache like crazy, eyes watering real bad legs hurt stomach feels on fire, this yawning is driving me mad, and hot/cold shivers, ( must stick at it )
Sunday 01;00am Weeping has calmed, but keep wanting to be sick to rid my body of the food, runny nose/sniffles and real bad wind,feel sick now, stomach aches.
Sunday 01:30am back to bed, went for a drive, could not stand crazy arms and legs any longer.
Sunday 02;45 back to bed no sleep crazy arms/legs/sweating real real bad hot/cold coughing/sneezing, and EXTREME CRAZY ARMS/LEGS.
Sunday 04;30 On computer, 60 hrs now feel clammy and sweaty and ache all over, have you heard of RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME, well think of that 10 times worse ( CRAZY LEGS/ARMS. )
To be Cont.......................................
Sunday 1 hours sleep, really sore, and strange dreams, am now really suffering from lack of sleep, try sleeping again breathing very hard, next thing thse cat wakes me, damm. will get up now, it's 09:45, legs really ache, but slept for an hour, legs hurt when sitting now, real pain or W/D symtoms??.64 hrs now, feel real sick and sweating.
Sunday 11:00am Went to see friend, felt a bit better and mind more focused on quitting, so cleaned car, went home ate some food, ( forced down ) Felt sicky. Then for a 3 mile walk, then to shop for Radox, then home 71hrs now, going to have a long bath.Tried to sleep, no joy so went for another 3 mile walk, pain in legs gets bad.
Sunday 18;30 Had to take Terri to hospital, ( bad cut to finger ). Home at 21;00 had some food, bed at 22:00, ARMS AND LEGS DRIVING ME CRAZY,REAL BAD,got up at 23:00 went on computer, then went for a drive, home at 01:30, back to bed, and after a lot of thrashing about, holy of holies I sleep for 3 hrs, wake up and dressing gown is drenched in sweat, back to bed get another 1hrs sleep, then up at 07:30. It's now Monday.
Monday 0945.Am feeling a bit better now, go see boss at work to explain ( goes ok ). then have a drive round, I find I am noticing things I took for granted before, things are in much sharper focus. Although I had real bad stomach cramps, the Flu like symtoms have all but gone. Did a 3 mile walk, then cooked my dinner, watched some TV, went to bed at 22:00 no sleep, mild crazy legs/arms. up, then back to bed, slept for an hour, then legs wake me 03:67 and writing this diary update.
Tuesday 08:15 got about 2 hrs sleep, those dreams are real strange, every time I get to a good bit the bloody legs wake me up.I am feeling the effects of sleep deprivation now, and am having trouble typing this, very sluggish and the legs are crawling at the moment, also started sneezing real bad, eyes so sore.Shoulders and back also a bit painful..
Tuesday 12:00 Am feeling quite ok, haircut/shave, look almost human lol, sister tells me my eyes look clearer than for a long time, nice to hear a positive comment, had a nice day.
Tuesday 15;45 tried to sleep with the help of a sleeping pill, 45 mins later got woken up. Got up went to see Dr, gave me a prescription for Zimovane, ( a sleeping pill ), but I went to the chemist and got some Kalms and Zinc Capsuals instead, my trust of tablets of any kind is at an all time low ( now why would that be ??.. ).
It's now 17:30 have one or two minor flushes, back aches a bit across shoulders, maybe being hunched over this darn computer, hey!!!! I said something funny, I must be on the mend a bit.
To be Cont........................
Tuesday 21'45.Went to bed, have taken some Zinc tablets ( taste great ) Kalms herbal pills and two sleeping pills, tried to watch telly, woke up switched it off, legs felt a bit zingy, but Mother of God I wake up at 06:45 on Wednesday, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeept for almost 8hrs yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.Legs feel stiff, but thats expected, back a bit achey, but thats to be expected also, as for the last 30 years I have been out of bed then walking over 6 miles every day( some over 12 ) and getting by on about 5/6 hrs sleep most days, then for the past 5 months doing hardly nothing.
Wednesday 07:16 well apart from the aches described above and a few sneezes, things look brighter, ( I might even open my Birthday cards and presents, birthday 24/02/08 lol ).
Wednesday 10:00 Had a real hot bath.
Wednesday 11:00 Very very bad sweating, real bad even footprints on patio slabs, feeel real sweaty now and have a chill running through me, arms really hurt, now yawning bad and sneezing ( I have read of day 6 being bad. 14:00 Feel real flu like symtoms and stomach cramps, ( but they have subsided in intensity.
Wednesday 14:30 went to bed, think I slept for an hour, wierd dreams hot, and a real bad temper mood, ( this maybe my daughters fault ). 16:30. Mood ( temper?? ) was real bad, feel a bit sweaty, stomach turning overand the chills, legs were crawling, but can walk that off.My energy levels seem to need a boost Hmmmm, Lucozade drink maybe ??..
Wednesday 17:00- 20:00 a bit shivery, 21:00 flu like symtoms return and am very tired, cold and shivers,also having bad mood swings. 21:30 take 2 sleeping pills and awake at 05:45.
7 DAYS 2 hrs NOW. ( CLEAN ).
Thursday 06:22 Think I must have slept for over 7hrs last night, feel a bit fluy and head a bit wooly, arms and legs ache a bit, energy low, but after the last week what can I expect, the birds a making a lovely racket this morning ( chorus anyone ).And blimey even a small thing like having a good old stretch is so pleasurable
7 DAYS 2 hrs NOW. ( CLEAN ).
Thursday 06:22 Think I must have slept for over 7hrs last night, feel a bit fluy and head a bit wooly, arms and legs ache a bit, energy low, but after the last week what can I expect, the birds a making a lovely racket this morning ( chorus anyone ).
Thursday 18:30 all the flu like symtoms have returned, feel hot, dizzy and headaches, dam, I thought that part was over, tried to have a nap an hour ago, bloody legs were bad, bit in the arms as well, didn't expect this, goes to show you've to keep your guard up at all times, very bad tempered at the moment.
WEEK TWO.
Friday 07:00 Legs were a bit crawly but slept until 06:00, sweats not to bad, although those bloody wierd dreams are very strange. My legs ache and arms are heavy. Unable to gauge my mood, seems you are never sure if it's you or the oxycraptin, I have read that it can take a year to really be out of your system and that it can damage thre neuro-transmitters.
Friday 14:30 legs and arms not to bad, have been for a long drive and a couple of walks, a funny low emotional feeling sometimes sweeps over me when I visit the past. I then have to keep busy and not dwell ( this helps ). Still not got much of an appitite though, I am taking lots of vitamins, and loads of water, smoking slashed in half..
I have just recieved this post and it is a bit of a worry.
Hey, I've been clean for 3 weeks, and I just want to share what's going on, kind of to forwarn....I hope this doesn't happen to you...I started sleeping fine. after the initial withdrawls passed-after a week or so...then I started to have panic attacks and felt depressed at about 4 pm-6 pm every day. I'd get anxiety about social gatherings etc. Now, for the past 3-4 days I can't fall asleep, I have horrible dreams about doctors forcing narcotics on me, I wake up in the middle of the night, and I cried all day long yesterday. I feel full blown depression coming on. I've never been depressed, I mean truly depressed in my life. I'm not trying to scare you at all....I just want you to be aware that just because the physicals seem over, doesn't mean it's over. My counselor just called and said I'm going through secondary withdrawls and this could last for months....I've heard people say this, but in disbelief. Now I believe. She said this drug has damaged our neurotransmitters. and it may take up to a year for it to correct and possibly need help with antidepressents. I just wanted to tell you the reality. Because I thought the worst was over....and it isn't, at least for me. I know how horrible the emotions are. To hear and see a grown man to his knees tells me I'm not just overreacting as a crazy woman....this is real.....be safe....you are not alone.
Oh dear!!!! I hope I miss that bit, just when things seem to be getting better.
Saturday09:00 Not feeling to bad, but seem to feel very low at the moment, seems like I'm a bit fogged up, still a bit shivery, and get chills occasionly, and sneexing, and that awful taste and smell YUK! Went out Saturday night with some friends but although enjoyable I had the wierdest feeling of not wanting to be there.
Sunday 01:00 Took 2 sleepiing pills, the crazy arms/legs have returned tonight, nowhere near as severe, ( had two pints, that maybe ?? ).
Sunday 09:00 woke up feeling low, let's hope it passes.
Sunday 13;30 low feeling persists, but trying to think positive thoughts, bloody hard sometimes, at least the emotional weepy feelings of past times and places is getting better, for now!!!. Let's hope It's another of the feelings over with. I am rather tired, exhausted really, and energy levels seem real low, I suppose this might be a response to the W/D, hope so, pain in the lsft leg is the real thing ( will have to learn to live with it, at the moment it's on and off, but not severe, just niggly ) .
Sunday 14;00 went bed for a while, legs were ok, ache a bit and chills, coughing a bit now.
Sunday 20;45 Have been for a drive, watched sun go down over an old aifield, clouds and sun were great, me or the remains of the drug???? I seem to be more lucid at the moment, I am looking forward to going to bed, dare I try without the sleepers, I will keep you posted.
Sunday 01:00 Took 2 sleepiing pills, the crazy arms/legs have returned tonight, nowhere near as severe, ( had two pints, that maybe ?? ).
Sunday 09:00 woke up feeling low, let's hope it passes.
Sunday 13;30 low feeling persists, but trying to think positive thoughts, bloody hard sometimes, at least the emotional weepy feelings of past times and places is getting better, for now!!!. Let's hope It's another of the feelings over with. I am rather tired, exhausted really, and energy levels seem real low, I suppose this might be a response to the W/D, hope so, pain in the lsft leg is the real thing ( will have to learn to live with it, at the moment it's on and off, but not severe, just niggly ) .
Sunday 14;00 went bed for a while, legs were ok, ache a bit and chills, coughing a bit now.
Sunday 20;45 Have been for a drive, watched sun go down over an old aifield, clouds and sun were great, me or the remains of the drug???? I seem to be more lucid at the moment, I am looking forward to going to bed, dare I try without the sleepers, I will keep you posted.
Monday 05;30 Had quite a good nights sleep, although still feel tired, and have the chills. Throughout the day I had a few low periods and do not yet feel the drug is out of my system, and I am yearning to be my old self. Through some research I have learned that using sleeping pills is not the answer and have decided to stop using them. It takes time for the brains receptors to begin making it's own chemicals again natuarally and the taking of any kind of drug ( not natural ones ) can upset this process.
Tuesday 07;30 After trying hard to sleep without the pills I gave in and had just a half one ( from 2 on previous nights ) I slept but had vivid dreams that I wish would go away as they seem to exhaust me.
Tuesday 18;30 not a bad day, but am really exhausted, feel goose bumps crawling up my back and arms,thighs still very stiff, although when I walk a bit, it helps to disperse, just will have to keep active.
THREE WEEKS PLUS.
Sunday 16/03/08. Well 3 weeks and 3 days have passed, I have since returned to work. I find keeping occupied is the best thing, but the fatigue and the pain in arms and legs are real bad some days.
WARNING.
I had read that symtoms can return at anytime, well that seems to be the case, I ache all over today, ( same yesterday ) and my skin feels as if I have rolled in some stinging nettles, arms and legs in particular. A feeling of general unwellnesss all over, the only thing I seem to want to do is sleep, but that's not going to happen without sleeping pills, and I only take them at night ( another pill to stop asap ).
My mental problems from withdrawal are not yet over as I am not yet able to mix and socialise as I once did. I feel the need to be alone overpowering sometimes, maybe not a good thing, I will need to exercise more as that helps, but it's a merry go round, more exercise equals more tired, but then cannot sleep equals more fatigue, am at a loss.
At least I am not climbing the walls like the first few days, only minor sweats, a bit of coughing and bouts of sneezing, so I suppose it could be much worse, I have read on the forum about people thinking they are over the W/D only to be reminded they are not out of the blue.
May I briefly fill in a little background.I am David aged 55 and employed as a postman/driver/sorter, well up until 38 months ago I had never been into hospital,well boy was that about to change. I went to my GP complaning of no sense of smell, saw a surgeon and surgery was recomended, I was given a prescription for Prednisone, a steroid, this gave me some sense of smell, and here's the but, I had the operation and still could not smell, so more Prednisone, well the upshot is that the steroids have caused my Osteo-Necrosis, this is when the heads of the long bones die, so have now had core decompression on one hip and the other totally replaced.
Oxycontin.- While awaiting the scan results I was given oxycontin for pain relief, this seemed to do the trick for 2 weeks, 10mg 2x a day, then things hurt again so up the dose went 20mg 2x a day, then 40mg 2x a day, then 80mg 2x a day and up to 120mg 2x a day, recognise the scenereo anyone??..
Well after the operation I thought I'd better cut down as constipation was real bad issue, up to 45mins to pass what seemed like an Elephant, I even ruptured a nose blood vessel with the straining at one time, and as a friend who had had the same operation was off painkillers after 3 weeks I thought now's the time. ( 05/12/07 ) So taking the bull by the horns I cut down to 40mg 2x a day, and never expected what happens next.
Just after Christmas 07 my 40mg 2x a day started, then I caught a virus, and was very ill, and it just would not go away, nausea, aches and pains all over, I blamed it all on this virus, never really suspecting the real culprit, yes you know don't you, it was because I had cut down on the oxycontin, and my body was craving it, this went on for 7 weeks, until one day it dawned on me what it was, by this time I had become tired all the time, getting up early and doing nothing, then backwards and forwards to bed, never hardly going out or doing anything, it was such an effort just to have a bath once a week, and the constant yawning, and coughing in the morning was a real drag,Oh and when I told my GP about cutting down she said, and I quote, ' why would you want to do that ?. Eh AMAZED.
So Thursday 21/02/08 16:00 I got all the tablets I had, over 300, put them all in a bag and returned them to the chemist, and that was the start of my journey into the bowels of HELL!!!!! Below you will find my journey to reality ( Please remember I was suffering greatly when writing, so at times it may seem a bit emotional........And it was.
MY JOURNEY THROUGH WITHDRAWAL.
Thursday 4pm. Last of the Oxy ( This is how I will refer to the drug from now on.) Nauseaus through the night.
Friday 6am. Pain in legs and arms a bit of nausea, ache all over, no appitite.
Friday 10pm. Bed-No sleep at all ( up and down all night ), legs arms crazy could not rest or stay still, kicking quilt off then on , the standing up sitting, oh my arms and legs were a nightmare ( worst night I have ever experienced ).
Saturday am. had about 20 mins broken sleep, feel sick and ache all over, nausea, sweats hot/cold, have tried to sleep again - no success. Decide there and then to return the pills ( Oxy ) I am very very weepy and crying, I have lost 18 months of my life to those ******* tablets ( angry now, and more determined than ever to get my life back ).
Saturday 14:30 Started writing this diary.
Saturday 14:45 Tried to sleep again but arms and legs were going crazy, the pits.
Saturday 16:00 Went for 3 mile walk, very emotional, crying lots to myself at memories past occasions, legs hurt, arms hurt.
Saturday 17;30 Watch telly and chat with Terri, then on the computer to read more oxy horror stories, start to get shivers and feel wooly headed and sick, legs hurt and feel nauseas.
18;00 Collect curry, feel real bad, pint of Guiness was awful, felt really bad on way home, sick when stopped car/have meal/bed/cannot sleep up about 10 times, pains in legs arms and now shoulder.
11:00pm Yawning real bad and shoulders ache like crazy, eyes watering real bad legs hurt stomach feels on fire, this yawning is driving me mad, and hot/cold shivers, ( must stick at it )
Sunday 01;00am Weeping has calmed, but keep wanting to be sick to rid my body of the food, runny nose/sniffles and real bad wind,feel sick now, stomach aches.
Sunday 01:30am back to bed, went for a drive, could not stand crazy arms and legs any longer.
Sunday 02;45 back to bed no sleep crazy arms/legs/sweating real real bad hot/cold coughing/sneezing, and EXTREME CRAZY ARMS/LEGS.
Sunday 04;30 On computer, 60 hrs now feel clammy and sweaty and ache all over, have you heard of RESTLESS LEG SYNDROME, well think of that 10 times worse ( CRAZY LEGS/ARMS. )
To be Cont.......................................
Sunday 1 hours sleep, really sore, and strange dreams, am now really suffering from lack of sleep, try sleeping again breathing very hard, next thing thse cat wakes me, damm. will get up now, it's 09:45, legs really ache, but slept for an hour, legs hurt when sitting now, real pain or W/D symtoms??.64 hrs now, feel real sick and sweating.
Sunday 11:00am Went to see friend, felt a bit better and mind more focused on quitting, so cleaned car, went home ate some food, ( forced down ) Felt sicky. Then for a 3 mile walk, then to shop for Radox, then home 71hrs now, going to have a long bath.Tried to sleep, no joy so went for another 3 mile walk, pain in legs gets bad.
Sunday 18;30 Had to take Terri to hospital, ( bad cut to finger ). Home at 21;00 had some food, bed at 22:00, ARMS AND LEGS DRIVING ME CRAZY,REAL BAD,got up at 23:00 went on computer, then went for a drive, home at 01:30, back to bed, and after a lot of thrashing about, holy of holies I sleep for 3 hrs, wake up and dressing gown is drenched in sweat, back to bed get another 1hrs sleep, then up at 07:30. It's now Monday.
Monday 0945.Am feeling a bit better now, go see boss at work to explain ( goes ok ). then have a drive round, I find I am noticing things I took for granted before, things are in much sharper focus. Although I had real bad stomach cramps, the Flu like symtoms have all but gone. Did a 3 mile walk, then cooked my dinner, watched some TV, went to bed at 22:00 no sleep, mild crazy legs/arms. up, then back to bed, slept for an hour, then legs wake me 03:67 and writing this diary update.
Tuesday 08:15 got about 2 hrs sleep, those dreams are real strange, every time I get to a good bit the bloody legs wake me up.I am feeling the effects of sleep deprivation now, and am having trouble typing this, very sluggish and the legs are crawling at the moment, also started sneezing real bad, eyes so sore.Shoulders and back also a bit painful..
Tuesday 12:00 Am feeling quite ok, haircut/shave, look almost human lol, sister tells me my eyes look clearer than for a long time, nice to hear a positive comment, had a nice day.
Tuesday 15;45 tried to sleep with the help of a sleeping pill, 45 mins later got woken up. Got up went to see Dr, gave me a prescription for Zimovane, ( a sleeping pill ), but I went to the chemist and got some Kalms and Zinc Capsuals instead, my trust of tablets of any kind is at an all time low ( now why would that be ??.. ).
It's now 17:30 have one or two minor flushes, back aches a bit across shoulders, maybe being hunched over this darn computer, hey!!!! I said something funny, I must be on the mend a bit.
To be Cont........................
Tuesday 21'45.Went to bed, have taken some Zinc tablets ( taste great ) Kalms herbal pills and two sleeping pills, tried to watch telly, woke up switched it off, legs felt a bit zingy, but Mother of God I wake up at 06:45 on Wednesday, sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeept for almost 8hrs yeeeeeeeeeeeeeees.Legs feel stiff, but thats expected, back a bit achey, but thats to be expected also, as for the last 30 years I have been out of bed then walking over 6 miles every day( some over 12 ) and getting by on about 5/6 hrs sleep most days, then for the past 5 months doing hardly nothing.
Wednesday 07:16 well apart from the aches described above and a few sneezes, things look brighter, ( I might even open my Birthday cards and presents, birthday 24/02/08 lol ).
Wednesday 10:00 Had a real hot bath.
Wednesday 11:00 Very very bad sweating, real bad even footprints on patio slabs, feeel real sweaty now and have a chill running through me, arms really hurt, now yawning bad and sneezing ( I have read of day 6 being bad. 14:00 Feel real flu like symtoms and stomach cramps, ( but they have subsided in intensity.
Wednesday 14:30 went to bed, think I slept for an hour, wierd dreams hot, and a real bad temper mood, ( this maybe my daughters fault ). 16:30. Mood ( temper?? ) was real bad, feel a bit sweaty, stomach turning overand the chills, legs were crawling, but can walk that off.My energy levels seem to need a boost Hmmmm, Lucozade drink maybe ??..
Wednesday 17:00- 20:00 a bit shivery, 21:00 flu like symtoms return and am very tired, cold and shivers,also having bad mood swings. 21:30 take 2 sleeping pills and awake at 05:45.
7 DAYS 2 hrs NOW. ( CLEAN ).
Thursday 06:22 Think I must have slept for over 7hrs last night, feel a bit fluy and head a bit wooly, arms and legs ache a bit, energy low, but after the last week what can I expect, the birds a making a lovely racket this morning ( chorus anyone ).And blimey even a small thing like having a good old stretch is so pleasurable
7 DAYS 2 hrs NOW. ( CLEAN ).
Thursday 06:22 Think I must have slept for over 7hrs last night, feel a bit fluy and head a bit wooly, arms and legs ache a bit, energy low, but after the last week what can I expect, the birds a making a lovely racket this morning ( chorus anyone ).
Thursday 18:30 all the flu like symtoms have returned, feel hot, dizzy and headaches, dam, I thought that part was over, tried to have a nap an hour ago, bloody legs were bad, bit in the arms as well, didn't expect this, goes to show you've to keep your guard up at all times, very bad tempered at the moment.
WEEK TWO.
Friday 07:00 Legs were a bit crawly but slept until 06:00, sweats not to bad, although those bloody wierd dreams are very strange. My legs ache and arms are heavy. Unable to gauge my mood, seems you are never sure if it's you or the oxycraptin, I have read that it can take a year to really be out of your system and that it can damage thre neuro-transmitters.
Friday 14:30 legs and arms not to bad, have been for a long drive and a couple of walks, a funny low emotional feeling sometimes sweeps over me when I visit the past. I then have to keep busy and not dwell ( this helps ). Still not got much of an appitite though, I am taking lots of vitamins, and loads of water, smoking slashed in half..
I have just recieved this post and it is a bit of a worry.
Hey, I've been clean for 3 weeks, and I just want to share what's going on, kind of to forwarn....I hope this doesn't happen to you...I started sleeping fine. after the initial withdrawls passed-after a week or so...then I started to have panic attacks and felt depressed at about 4 pm-6 pm every day. I'd get anxiety about social gatherings etc. Now, for the past 3-4 days I can't fall asleep, I have horrible dreams about doctors forcing narcotics on me, I wake up in the middle of the night, and I cried all day long yesterday. I feel full blown depression coming on. I've never been depressed, I mean truly depressed in my life. I'm not trying to scare you at all....I just want you to be aware that just because the physicals seem over, doesn't mean it's over. My counselor just called and said I'm going through secondary withdrawls and this could last for months....I've heard people say this, but in disbelief. Now I believe. She said this drug has damaged our neurotransmitters. and it may take up to a year for it to correct and possibly need help with antidepressents. I just wanted to tell you the reality. Because I thought the worst was over....and it isn't, at least for me. I know how horrible the emotions are. To hear and see a grown man to his knees tells me I'm not just overreacting as a crazy woman....this is real.....be safe....you are not alone.
Oh dear!!!! I hope I miss that bit, just when things seem to be getting better.
Saturday09:00 Not feeling to bad, but seem to feel very low at the moment, seems like I'm a bit fogged up, still a bit shivery, and get chills occasionly, and sneexing, and that awful taste and smell YUK! Went out Saturday night with some friends but although enjoyable I had the wierdest feeling of not wanting to be there.
Sunday 01:00 Took 2 sleepiing pills, the crazy arms/legs have returned tonight, nowhere near as severe, ( had two pints, that maybe ?? ).
Sunday 09:00 woke up feeling low, let's hope it passes.
Sunday 13;30 low feeling persists, but trying to think positive thoughts, bloody hard sometimes, at least the emotional weepy feelings of past times and places is getting better, for now!!!. Let's hope It's another of the feelings over with. I am rather tired, exhausted really, and energy levels seem real low, I suppose this might be a response to the W/D, hope so, pain in the lsft leg is the real thing ( will have to learn to live with it, at the moment it's on and off, but not severe, just niggly ) .
Sunday 14;00 went bed for a while, legs were ok, ache a bit and chills, coughing a bit now.
Sunday 20;45 Have been for a drive, watched sun go down over an old aifield, clouds and sun were great, me or the remains of the drug???? I seem to be more lucid at the moment, I am looking forward to going to bed, dare I try without the sleepers, I will keep you posted.
Sunday 01:00 Took 2 sleepiing pills, the crazy arms/legs have returned tonight, nowhere near as severe, ( had two pints, that maybe ?? ).
Sunday 09:00 woke up feeling low, let's hope it passes.
Sunday 13;30 low feeling persists, but trying to think positive thoughts, bloody hard sometimes, at least the emotional weepy feelings of past times and places is getting better, for now!!!. Let's hope It's another of the feelings over with. I am rather tired, exhausted really, and energy levels seem real low, I suppose this might be a response to the W/D, hope so, pain in the lsft leg is the real thing ( will have to learn to live with it, at the moment it's on and off, but not severe, just niggly ) .
Sunday 14;00 went bed for a while, legs were ok, ache a bit and chills, coughing a bit now.
Sunday 20;45 Have been for a drive, watched sun go down over an old aifield, clouds and sun were great, me or the remains of the drug???? I seem to be more lucid at the moment, I am looking forward to going to bed, dare I try without the sleepers, I will keep you posted.
Monday 05;30 Had quite a good nights sleep, although still feel tired, and have the chills. Throughout the day I had a few low periods and do not yet feel the drug is out of my system, and I am yearning to be my old self. Through some research I have learned that using sleeping pills is not the answer and have decided to stop using them. It takes time for the brains receptors to begin making it's own chemicals again natuarally and the taking of any kind of drug ( not natural ones ) can upset this process.
Tuesday 07;30 After trying hard to sleep without the pills I gave in and had just a half one ( from 2 on previous nights ) I slept but had vivid dreams that I wish would go away as they seem to exhaust me.
Tuesday 18;30 not a bad day, but am really exhausted, feel goose bumps crawling up my back and arms,thighs still very stiff, although when I walk a bit, it helps to disperse, just will have to keep active.
THREE WEEKS PLUS.
Sunday 16/03/08. Well 3 weeks and 3 days have passed, I have since returned to work. I find keeping occupied is the best thing, but the fatigue and the pain in arms and legs are real bad some days.
WARNING.
I had read that symtoms can return at anytime, well that seems to be the case, I ache all over today, ( same yesterday ) and my skin feels as if I have rolled in some stinging nettles, arms and legs in particular. A feeling of general unwellnesss all over, the only thing I seem to want to do is sleep, but that's not going to happen without sleeping pills, and I only take them at night ( another pill to stop asap ).
My mental problems from withdrawal are not yet over as I am not yet able to mix and socialise as I once did. I feel the need to be alone overpowering sometimes, maybe not a good thing, I will need to exercise more as that helps, but it's a merry go round, more exercise equals more tired, but then cannot sleep equals more fatigue, am at a loss.
At least I am not climbing the walls like the first few days, only minor sweats, a bit of coughing and bouts of sneezing, so I suppose it could be much worse, I have read on the forum about people thinking they are over the W/D only to be reminded they are not out of the blue.
by sister mtt, Feb 25, 2008 11:08PM
Hi , I heard a talk one time about how we get into traps. You dont get in to a trap all at once, we slowly
fine ones-self in these traps.If you put a frog in boiling water he would not stay in the water, he would jump
out, but now if you put him in a pot of luke- warm water he will be come very sleepy and guss what will
happen , he will dose-off to sleep because he filles real good. Now if he wakes up before he gets to sleepy
he can save himself ! The deal is your not ment to save ones-self! Sound all too weird? Well satan dose not
want us to wake up and get a grip on life , he needs us to stay this way! Maybe him and his evil helpers get
some kind of sick thrill out of seeing people do harm to themselves, who knows why! All I know is I had a sister
that got on pills and she is no longer with us any more! It fills all to good when your in the middle of it all and
at first and then like you , it hits one day, what the HH am I doing in this hot pot of stuff, and where do I go
from here. I heard another thing one day,[ Im full of them],If you cant go back and you cant go forward take
another direction , take Gods direction. I have learned one thing if I have not learned any, God will always be stronger than Satan, always and a day! Now we in life have got to pull up on one side of the river of life, so where
and why not on the right side. I do know its the right side? Its like this, been there done my share of dumbness!
How did I stay alive , how did I know where to go from here? I could not go back and could not go on the way I was!
So I took another path, I got up shook all the bull off and said , well here I am God do what you may with me because my life is at a stand point, at this time I no longer know where I am going! I got inside of my head , did not want to come out. I cried for two days with out stopping and they give me a big shot and I still cried . I kept praying for God to do something with me! A man came and told me your filling sorry for yourself an to get up go home and get a grip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are not helping yourself at all this way! I got so mad at that man, I did ever thing but call him nice!!!!!!!!!!! Well I did just what he told me to do. I went home, and got drunk. Its all the same booz, pills, sex, and power, money, and any thing els you cant shake. There is but one that has the help to get you up and out of the water and that my Dear is yourself and God. You can call all the friends, we can call on any thing called a crutch but untill you get your want-too fixed even God cant do that for you! Been there and done all that , dont want to go
back ever again ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So your on the right path of getting up and standing , you just need to grab hold of that third strain in the rope your holding on to, that my frind is GOD him self ! I will pray for you . Im sure you will
make the right step for yourself and grab the right things in life , sounds like your off to a first good big step!
Keeping it real and in touch,
sister mtt
fine ones-self in these traps.If you put a frog in boiling water he would not stay in the water, he would jump
out, but now if you put him in a pot of luke- warm water he will be come very sleepy and guss what will
happen , he will dose-off to sleep because he filles real good. Now if he wakes up before he gets to sleepy
he can save himself ! The deal is your not ment to save ones-self! Sound all too weird? Well satan dose not
want us to wake up and get a grip on life , he needs us to stay this way! Maybe him and his evil helpers get
some kind of sick thrill out of seeing people do harm to themselves, who knows why! All I know is I had a sister
that got on pills and she is no longer with us any more! It fills all to good when your in the middle of it all and
at first and then like you , it hits one day, what the HH am I doing in this hot pot of stuff, and where do I go
from here. I heard another thing one day,[ Im full of them],If you cant go back and you cant go forward take
another direction , take Gods direction. I have learned one thing if I have not learned any, God will always be stronger than Satan, always and a day! Now we in life have got to pull up on one side of the river of life, so where
and why not on the right side. I do know its the right side? Its like this, been there done my share of dumbness!
How did I stay alive , how did I know where to go from here? I could not go back and could not go on the way I was!
So I took another path, I got up shook all the bull off and said , well here I am God do what you may with me because my life is at a stand point, at this time I no longer know where I am going! I got inside of my head , did not want to come out. I cried for two days with out stopping and they give me a big shot and I still cried . I kept praying for God to do something with me! A man came and told me your filling sorry for yourself an to get up go home and get a grip!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you are not helping yourself at all this way! I got so mad at that man, I did ever thing but call him nice!!!!!!!!!!! Well I did just what he told me to do. I went home, and got drunk. Its all the same booz, pills, sex, and power, money, and any thing els you cant shake. There is but one that has the help to get you up and out of the water and that my Dear is yourself and God. You can call all the friends, we can call on any thing called a crutch but untill you get your want-too fixed even God cant do that for you! Been there and done all that , dont want to go
back ever again ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So your on the right path of getting up and standing , you just need to grab hold of that third strain in the rope your holding on to, that my frind is GOD him self ! I will pray for you . Im sure you will
make the right step for yourself and grab the right things in life , sounds like your off to a first good big step!
Keeping it real and in touch,
sister mtt
by badbetacells, Feb 26, 2008 12:38AM
Hey David, bummer about how this situation spun out of control when all you initially had wrong was a loss of smell. I'm surprised surgery was recommended at your age since loss of smell is more common and natural as people age.
Look, I felt the urge to repsond after the last "GOD!!!!!!!!" message since it amazes me how religious people equate everything back to Satan or frogs boiling in water. Yeah, wtf, right? I'm sure they meant well, though, and that's how they deal with a crisis.
Simply put, you were prescibed and took a powerful narcotic, ie Oxycontin, and your body adjusted to it. By adjusted I mean our body chemistry apparently loves opioids and shows it by making more receptors for the drug to switch on (the process is called "upregulation"). The obvious problem is you need more and more to satiate those ever growing receptors. When you stop (and good for you) your body does not like it. It would have been "easier" for you to maybe wean yourself off slowly rather than abruptly with your Dr's help, but, if you made it this far, you probably made it through the worst. Looking around on these forums A LOT of people have problems with this class of drug so you're not alone.
And get a second or third opinion next time a Dr suggests any kind of surgery. Ibuprofen still works wonders.
Oh, and remember if you're a frog stay away from Satan's kitchen.
Flame on, sis.
Look, I felt the urge to repsond after the last "GOD!!!!!!!!" message since it amazes me how religious people equate everything back to Satan or frogs boiling in water. Yeah, wtf, right? I'm sure they meant well, though, and that's how they deal with a crisis.
Simply put, you were prescibed and took a powerful narcotic, ie Oxycontin, and your body adjusted to it. By adjusted I mean our body chemistry apparently loves opioids and shows it by making more receptors for the drug to switch on (the process is called "upregulation"). The obvious problem is you need more and more to satiate those ever growing receptors. When you stop (and good for you) your body does not like it. It would have been "easier" for you to maybe wean yourself off slowly rather than abruptly with your Dr's help, but, if you made it this far, you probably made it through the worst. Looking around on these forums A LOT of people have problems with this class of drug so you're not alone.
And get a second or third opinion next time a Dr suggests any kind of surgery. Ibuprofen still works wonders.
Oh, and remember if you're a frog stay away from Satan's kitchen.
Flame on, sis.
by debbiekind4, May 04, 2008 08:19PM
First I do notHi,know why the folks who do not want God in their life,have a need to to say what they say. About us who need and want him in their life. I like this person she has a right to bring her thoughts about our God in the picture. After saying that. I am still taking oxycontin and I hate it and love it. I am trying to fight the good fight of faith and be healed and not be on this pain meds. Back pain and fibromyalgia and a lot of what doctors have done to me. have left me with pain in my body that would put a horse on the ground. I have been on it for 7 years. I have a love hate for it. I love that I can paid my family bills by phone (before the pain meds things would get turn off). I have alway paid our bills on time, but went all went down I could not get out of bed. I could not have the bed moved or pain so so very bad would go right thur.body. I could not stand to be touch at all. I thank God yes God because my faith was not were it was to be at to get healed. And then the doctors they put you on these very stong meds then want or do cut you down. RIght now I under meds and need to have it dose ups. But I the doctor will not do it. And that is not fair. There you were having n sleep id were I am right now because I can not get the right kind and he right dose. I right now I am again (This is the 3rd time I have been fired from my doctor) It is not want you are thinking. I did not get kick out because of I was doctor shopping or selling my meds. No the first doctor firer all his pain people (It was not the doctor who did it it was his son and were was something very wrong going on there) It was very bad also because the doctor cared not like the doctors now. He was not even getting his money from people after there health indurance paid. His son got him in a lot of trouable and how he is not a doctor any more. Were was one man who love his people he care for all the away. well the next doctor I stop going to him went I found a pain doctor who took over. after going to him for 3 years (it took me that long to find a family doctor who would also write for my pain pills. I found a very nice new doctor (and I do mean new right out of school almost) She was very nice but after her staff broke her in she was not a good doctor. that was very very not good to see, because she could have been great but the power that be put a stop to her caring doctoring. I got firer from her because the lady who made appt. did not like me I told be the wrong time so for two appt. I was late my 5 mim. the next one 10 mim. There was more going on were than meet the eyes, because I turned in my drug store man, because he was going to hurt someone very bad and I thing he got to my doctor because she would not even talk with me. You have 30 days from went the doctor send you the kicking out letter.( which because that lady did not like me and It was because of me being pain pills and they know because you have to go to the office every month to get the presciptons for the pain pills.I did not get the lettler for 15 days) not good for someone who is on strong pain pills. But God was good again and I found a nurse who would take over my care I have been going to her for about a year, and it been a long year with her. I like but she made me jump thur so many hoops. I did it, ( I is wrong of her to make I pain patent keep going to fix the thing went I have try try try to get it fixed just to get sicker and in more pain. and trust me I wanted to get fixed I was a person who would get a mirgain headach and would would not take a pill. I felt even how very bad about taking pain pills. My famlily is ( my mom and at times my husband it come in very handled for my husband to put the blame for all on a pill. (he was hit by a logging truck in 1988 and been in pain but will not go to the doctor and is now so band in pain now can not wait to get his 30 years in at work. 3 years from now so he can have his back fixed. He was hitting over the drug store pain pills. Whick he was taking up to 15 a day. His Father called me to get my husband (Father in law live 3 miles down the road us) right back down to his house he was having blood coming form his mouth and other holes in his body. he lost about half of his blood. So how after that my husband has stop taking the pills. He did not want us to see want happen to his dad happen to us. He said he almost lost his mind went he saw all the blood that came out of his dad body (his dad is alright) How I have to go look again for a doctor because I got fired again this time again because was one person in her office. I am sorry abut this but I was gettting every sick of going thur the hoops (like going to get blood work done 3 times but each time something happen???? )I got up 4 time and let me tell you after not eating every time to have this blood donw I was vry upset about. The nurse is very nice but she can not rebmberber time to time what she what me to do. So the girl who worked is nice but if she is haveing a bad day she is going make your day bad. 5 time how in the year I have been with this nurse she told me I can not come back until ! I go to my diabetic school I called and got it going but i needed to get a other time to go (I live 30 mile out of town and went you hurt it is hard to leave your house) but the hospital told her I did not go and did not call so I was not doin want she told me to do. I would not do do what I was told because went you are a pain patent you dod what you are told to do. anyway she told me she was sorry about the mixed up. number 2) I was told I could not come back until I until paid to $150 dollars I owe her, (again I called and made a payment plan with the billing people) I love cell phones I calle the bill person I talk with, And SHe told be she send a fax to the nurses office about the paidment plan. again she told me she was sorry about the mess up. again not my doing. The 3). was blood not done. after I went 2 time before to get it done I could not because the test need to be done in the morning not at 2.00 p.m. the next time t
by debbiekind4, May 04, 2008 09:04PM
sorry I ran out of letters??? anyway I next time I went to get the blood work done the hospital said the orders were not in the computer. So I went fast to the office to find it was close, but The doctor right next to them told me went I step over to there side (that is why I got in the door because she shares the office with two other people. anyway I asked if knew if someone was still in the back. she told me she thought there were still someone in so she call over and someone anserer the phone and she told the lady she would come up front to talk to me. I told her It was scary because 2 time she told me not come back until things were done and once again I went to get in done and could .SHe told me to clam down that it would be allright she would tell cindy the nurse what happen and for me not to worried about it. I told her thank you very much about I was going to need my pain pill soon and did not want to have to worried about going thur withdraws (i have been were once and It was very bad went I lost my first doctor.). so all was alright so I thought. I went to get the work done again (not eatting again) thinking all of find and the orders for the blood work was go to be in the computer. Wrong. I went to get the blood work draw and went she was looking up the orders. She told me all the blood work was alright done. Oh boy I called over to the nurse office again. and told the girl what was going on and I told her about the miss up and how I was in last week. And she got very mad and let me know that she hear all about me coming shouting at the office window and how was shouting the lady in the next window (about 15 feet away were my nurse office window is and how she was not going to put up with at this office??? I did not rise my voice to the office worker or the lady at the other window. I was not my way of doing things. Then she went on to tell all my blood way already done it was all in my folder. wrong again. well to make a long story short the blood work is not done and the next call i get is from the lady telling once again that cindy the nurse will not see me until I go to th other doctor. To tell that story will take to long so is some of it this is been going on for 12 months the doctor is a endocrinologist he told his worker to stop my vistit until I have all the blood work done. This been going on with all the other junk. Well now I get a letter tell me she letting go fired again. I think I get to see one more time. And I am going to tell her that she got a person who lied to about me because were was the fax, were was tshe blood work order. Why to people need the pain meds get people being rude and doing unhanded things to people now again I have got to find a doctor who will write for my pain meds. But to turn this back to why I wrote this for 2 reson really 1, is why do we and meto think the pain pill just so low class and went i and other take them beat are our own self over taking them, but maybe it is how other are being to us. other thing is the biggest thing. with out GOD I would killed myself because of the pain. And I must trust GOD not man to be there thur this with me. My one prayer is that the person get upset about God and people talking about is that I hope you will find your wasy to him. Deb
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