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Dec 30, 2008 - 28 comments
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My daughter Tara



I have the best daughter in the world. I've been so sick with the flu that I have'nt been able to do anything around the house for days. She came out tonight to visit and ended up changing my bed, cleaning the kitchen, doing some laundry and she washed the dishes. She has a busy schedule and I so appreciate her coming here to take care of my house. Thank you so much my baby girl. I know to you it's no big deal at all, but to me it means so much. Mama loves you very much.

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Avatar universal
by lboogie7729, Dec 31, 2008
You were there for me when I couldn't do for myself 7 weeks ago and many times prior to that. When the house is a chaotic mess and dishes and clothes are dirty it just makes people feel that much worse even though they are sick and can't do anything about it. I would do anything for you guys, from the littlest thing to the biggest thing, it's not a big deal to me because you are my parents and I love you. I'm just glad what little bit I did helped out and made you feel better. I'll be glad when you're over this flu bug and feeling better! I love you so much, Tara

Avatar universal
by remar, Jan 01, 2009
I knew you would say it was'nt a big deal but it was to me. I know you would do anything for us and we feel the same way about you. I hope I get rid of this stupid flu soon too. I love you so very much. Mom

Avatar universal
by Brenndy, Jan 01, 2009
If there were only more of that in this world........

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by suzi-q, Jan 01, 2009
Brenndy...you took the words right out of my mouth.

Avatar universal
by remar, Jan 01, 2009
Thank you both so much. My daughter is such a wonderful person and I'm just so proud of the person she is.

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by jollyman069, Jan 01, 2009
remar.. this means you did a great job raising your daughter.. i got sick about 5 years ago with end stage renal failure and my kids took care of me for about a year,dialysis about killed me for the first year and they wee right there for me.. i know how you feel.. you should be proud of that yoiung lady

Avatar universal
by remar, Jan 01, 2009
Thank you Jolly. Some children could care less about their parents when they grow up and have their own lives. Not true with Tara. She runs her own small business and is very busy but we talk several times a day and she's always there for me no matter what. I'm so blessed to have her for my daughter and my best friend.
It sounds like you have wonderful children and I'm sure your very proud of them too.
We've never talked but I know what your going through and I've been praying for you.

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by Cherie762, Jan 01, 2009
those are just the things a sick woman needs..people often ask can I help?  I say do as your daughter did and just do....how proud you must be she sounds like a wonderful girl...hope you get to feeling better soon this flu is a tough  one..

Avatar universal
by remar, Jan 01, 2009
Thank you so much Cherie. This flu has really hit me hard. That's just what Tara did, she jumped in there and just started cleaning and she brought me magazines to read while I was laying in bed. She is truly a wonderful person in so many ways.

Avatar universal
by lboogie7729, Jan 01, 2009
Mom, you and grandma are both such caring people and have always taken care of me, I think we have that 'compassion gene' that some members of our family unfortunately lack. I feel lucky to have such a good relationship and strong bond with you two and dad even though we butt heads, because I realize a lot of people aren't close to their families. I may not have a lot of friends, but I have friendship within my family that means so much more to me. I wish other people could realize how much they have to be grateful for and have the ability to put themselves in other peoples shoes. It makes life easier and less painful and helping someone else makes you feel useful, needed, appreciated and more connected. Life is a struggle, but sharing the burden makes it bearable and of course it goes both ways. I know my family has been and will be there for me so it's easier to offer to help knowing I've got you guys to help me when I need it!
Love you,
Tara

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by lonewolf07, Jan 01, 2009
You are an incredible family  = )

I am thankful that Pond Scum introduced me to you, remar.  Through you I've "met" your mother and your daughter.

HUGEHUGS to you and your family




Avatar universal
by remar, Jan 02, 2009
I'm so thankful for Pond Scum introducing us to Wolf. Bless his little heart. He did bring you and me together here at Medhelp and we've been such great friends every since.
We do have an incredible family and I feel so blessed to have that.
Tara, my Mom and me have a bond that can not be broken.  Three generations of women that have unconditional love for each other.
Yes Tara, I know you and your Dad butt heads sometimes. Probably because your alot alike in many ways. But you know how very much he loves you.
Your right about life being a stuggle and I'm so glad we have each other to get through it with. I love you more than words can say. Mom

Avatar universal
by lboogie7729, Jan 03, 2009
To wolf, I am so glad that we have become friends through this online community. Like my mom said, her and my grandma and I are very close. But it's not all roses, there is always some kind of drama surrounding our family. No family is perfect, some are more screwed up than others. They have certainly went through a lot of grief with me in particular and we have not always been this close. My dad and I continue to clash till this day, but we still love each other even when it gets ugly and it does get ugly! It took me a long time to realize how truly blessed and fortunate I am, even though life continues to be an uphill battle. One thing I have learned over time is to focus on the good and try not to dwell on the negative, because in the past I have allowed the drama to consume me and make me bitter. I still deal with anger issues. But I am lucky to have a mom and grandma who accept me for who I am and understand and help me deal with my issues. I wish I could say that about my whole family but how would I be able to evolve and grow if there were not obstacles to overcome and lessons to be learned? I'm grateful for this site, and people like you because of how much my mom has benefited from it and her friendships and now I'm getting a lot out of it too! I wish you the best in the New Year!
To mom, I hope you get rid of the sickness that has been lingering for over a week now! I'm trying to kick this sinus infection and I am telling myself I will feel better tomorrow! Mind over matter, I refuse to get sick! :-) Love you, Tara

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by dominosarah, Jan 03, 2009
You did a wonderful job raising your daughter remar.........sara

Avatar universal
by remar, Jan 04, 2009
Thank you so much Sara. I'm very proud of the young woman she is. She's honest, geniune, smart, caring and beautiful. I started this journal to thank her for the help she gave me when I was sick. I believe life is too short and we should let the ones we love know that we appreciate them and love them every chance we get. Tara is right, we have'nt always been this close. It took work to get to where we are right now. You have to realise who and what are important in your lives.
Tara, you are wise beyond your years. You've always been that way. I'm so grateful to have you for my daughter and my friend. I love you more than words can say. Mom

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by MJIthewriter, Jan 04, 2009
I think it's pretty cool to have the family involved and make it a family effort.  I like it when families work together on issues.

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by SassyLassie, Aug 02, 2009
Wow, I have been reading your journal and all the posts. You and your daughter have that "special" relationship that lots of mothers and daughters do not have. If there were more closeness in families today, I think the world would be a better place. I almost feel like I know your family from the pictures, I thank you for posting them and for the journal.

Tara, you are a wonderful daughter and a blessing to your mother, you are blessed and I know our Lord is proud of you as well.

Hugs
Susie

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by Curly03, Sep 26, 2013
You and your daughter sound a lot like me and my mother. Its great to have a mother daughter relationship like that. Always having someone there for you is nice. I know most family's arent like that. So Im glad we do. Im also close to my grandma as well. We're all 3 a lot alike and not just family but like best friends as well. I dont have hardly any true friends but I do have my family and I know Im blessed and thankful to have that at least. Thats more then most people. I know this journal is a couple of years old but I just thought I would comment on it and Im glad to hear you and your daughter are close.

Avatar universal
by remar, Sep 26, 2013
Thank you for commenting on my journal. I'm so glad you, your mom and grandmother are so close. You're right, most families are'nt like that these days. When we do have that it truly is a blessing.

Avatar universal
by lboogie7729, Jan 03, 2016
Yeah we have a "special" relationship alright don't we mom? Lets stop showing the world that we have some blissful connection because that is not the reality. I love you, you did the best you could and I know you love me. We are toxic to each other to an absolute extreme and I am tired of the glorification of me online in the public eye and the cold feeling I get from being totally cut off from my family in actual real life. It is my choice I realize because I am in therapy battling alcoholism, BPD, arthritis, you name it, and the family is just an endless trigger for me. Our family is broken, make peace with that mom. That's what I'm doing.

Avatar universal
by remar, Jan 03, 2016
I don't understand your need to put everything out there publicly. We do not have a perfect family, that's no big secret.
Maybe one of the problems is that you've been babied all of your life. You've always been told how proud of you are and how much we love you. I've never gotten down on you about your flaws. Not when you were drinking, doing drugs and throwing fits.
I realize you didn't have a perfect childhood. It could have been so much worse though. You grew up with both of your parents who tried teach you morals and values. It was important to us that you went to a private school, plated piano, was in batter, the girl scouts, played t ball. We didn't get to travel much but we did have our weekends at the Lake.
I want you to think about all of these children, several in our own family, that do not have both of their parents. The girls move in with one guy after the other. They live off of welfare. They get very little attention. Or, the kids live with their grand parents. That's a huge mistake I made. Because of your prior suicide attempts I lived in fear that you would try it again if you didn't get your way, and that meant spending way too much time at your grandmas house. We should have put our foot down, and believe me, we tried many times.
You're an adult now and I'm very proud of you for turning your life around.
I know you're mad at me right now because I gave you jewelry instead of all money for Christmas. I apologized for doing that and explained that I bought it second hand because I know how you feel about having more than you need. It goes so much deeper then that. I can only tell you how I feel and I feel like you have a lot of anger towards me. We have a lot of unresolved issues that we've never worked out. I don't like doing it on a public forum because that's not the way I am.
How would you have felt when you were drinking if I put it out there that it drove me crazy and I was worried every single day that I was going to lose you? My gosh! You lost your mind when Mom posted a picture of you doing yoga. She was so proud of you and you got so mad saying that was your private time, it was private, period. You made her take the picture down. Is it fair for things to be a one way street? You can say anything you want about your family but we can say nothing about you even if it's only good things?
I don't want to fight Tara. It breaks my heart on top of being so stressful. I understand that you feel that your family is toxic. I've never expected you to be only the way I want you to be in order for you to be in my life. I've always loved you no matter what.
If being away from us keeps you sane and sober then that's what you have to do. I'm your mom, I love you and I'm going to be here if you need me, no matter what.

Avatar universal
by lboogie7729, Jan 03, 2016
Spoiling me, not setting clear boundaries from day one because of how you felt about your own childhood, not making it clear who the adult was, not protecting me from knowing everything about our finances and nothing being hidden from me from day one all screwed me up mom. Am I mad? No, I'm not. Not at you or anyone else but myself.

I realize now I have far fewer issues with dad than I used to. He is an alcoholic like me, I get where he is coming from. We have a different kind of bond. I know you guys did the best you could and I truly appreciate it. All of the guilt that led to me just getting my way all the time also led to me getting raped by my idiot aunt's friends and becoming a drunk at 12. Do I blame anyone? No mom, I don't anymore. You are off the hook for everything. I forgive everyone for everything for MYSELF.

I feel like I must be mentally handicapped when I get golf claps from the gallery, like I am so totally screwed up that any little thing I do is AMAZING! Meanwhile, people 10 years younger than me are doing 10x's as much and their parents don't gush over them like it's some kind of miracle. I turned out the way I did because it was so incredibly painful to be a kid in our family and I knew I could never inflict that on an innocent human being nor would I want to see my DNA spread. I knew how depressed I was as a kid and I am grateful that I listened to my inner voice and didn't let myself get trapped into a relationship because of a surprise pregnancy. I am not saying that is what you did by the way, I'm saying that's the way it could have went for me. I just knew that I always wanted to get away and be alone because being with people hurts too much. And ultimately I am the fool for thinking all these years that I can change or fix anything, or that the people I grew up around feeling so much pain could somehow help me. You guys can't. The family triggers me, period. I see a post like this and I think as much as you say things are a one way street it's like I have always put MY life on hold for YOU guys. and for what? Because I was scared to get away and leave you all to your own devices, but more so because I never developed any faith in myself because nothing was ever really expected of me. I was born beautiful, smart and crazy as a loon in a town full of hillbillies. I got out into the world and realized that I am not SPECIAL as I have been led to believe. I am weak and flawed and full of self doubt when compared to functional adults. I have tremendous faith in myself these days though because I have survived BPD and alcoholism this long.
You guys will be better off without me in your life mom. I promise you that. Everything can just stay the same and no one will ever expect you to change or get better. I'm you're only child and I love you too but I swing back and forth between feeling like you glorify me and then demonize me. " It could have been so much worse though", do you know how MANY TIMES YOU HAVE SAID THAT?!?! Jesus, mom! It's like the BPD calling card. You don't have it THAT bad so your feelings don't matter, stop talking about it! Me not being able to talk about things? That's not helpful, in fact it's entirely detrimental to my well being. Being real and showing people what really goes on behind the happy pictures and happy posts is what helps people. Not making people think I have some kind of fairy tale life. My life is pretty awesome, I worked hard for it. You guys did the best you could do and you actually did pretty great job. I was born highly sensitive and intuitive and I have just been more heavily influenced by everything about you than you'll ever know. I feel peace when I think of dad. I feel broken when I think of us, and my soul feels heavy and I feel alone. I will love you both more than anything in this world for as long as there is oxygen in my lungs. But to survive I think I have to stay away. I'm sorry this is the way it is. I can't get well in all the sickness. I love you even though you think I'm an a-hole, and I guess I am because I have to put myself first.


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by dominosarah, Jan 03, 2016
This was hard for me to read on several levels due to relating to so many issues going on within the family unit.  I always thought that there was something deeper going on.  I understand both sides to this as i have also lived it.  I know the feelings of protecting our babies and i know the toxicity and having that bond with an alcoholic.  This is very healing believe it or not to be having the discussion you 2 have had.  We say alot on the SA forum that our secrets keep us sick.  Tara, you are not an a-hole for putting yourself first.  You are a beautiful talented woman who deserves happiness.  Remar, i know this is hard as he!! for you but it is time for you to take care of you too.  You also deserve happiness.  Right now Tara has to stay away to save herself, just as i had to do with my momma.  We all have to take our part in this thing we call life as we cant fix what we dont acknowledge.  Just know that you both hold a very special place in my heart~

Avatar universal
by lboogie7729, Jan 03, 2016
Thank you so much dominosarah. My best friend who is currently in prison due to his drug use and is now 3 years clean said something profound last week. He reminded me that people in recovery have to leave their family of origin quite often to stay safe and sober. I know that turning to everything that originally hurt me was just a human reflex and after getting burned by the chaos my whole life I get the message now. I have been getting help in the form of psychotherapy for years and when dealing with BPD I just can't see how we can get well and keep our family bond if the family doesn't get well too. If they stay sick so to speak and I've gotten better, then the reason for the seething resentment should be pretty obvious. I love my parents more that anything. I feel like I sacrificed my own happiness and dreams and lived an inverted life thanks to our dynamic. Like I was born grown with the expectation of being mature and responsible, handling adult issues and keeping it together. I never felt like a kid, I never trusted the adults around me because all I could ever feel was chaos, tension, sadness, and anger in the people surrounding me. It wasn't just my parents either, my grandparents and aunts lived in total chaos too.
I've had to re-parent myself, learn self care and self soothing, and all kinds of other things that might seem basic because I missed a lot in my younger years, like we skipped over almost everything. It's like I was born and the next thing I knew I was an alcoholic experiencing trauma, and I was only 12. Did I go to an awesome private school and have nice things? Yes I did and I am grateful for that, but you know what? SO WHAT?!?! I have BPD, we are extremely dangerous to ourselves in terms of psychiatric conditions. I'm lucky to be alive.
I am grateful to my family for everything they have done for me and I have no intention of hurting anyone. I just can't take this anymore. It's the one area of my life that keeps me totally and completely unhappy and broken. I want to be free and just let all of this go. I forgive everyone for everything and I'm sorry for all the wreckage I've caused. I'm making it up by all the work I do every day to make myself and this world better. My mom deals with chronic pain and I think she is in denial about the emotional and psychological connection despite me being a yoga teacher who studies hwo energy and how emotions affect us on a physical level. Pain meds and pain docs are not the answer, they are a temporary band aid. The issues are in the tissues and I know this to be true. If my parents or anyone in my family was even close to being healthy or happy, I doubt I'd feel so defeated by all of it. But they are all in their own illnesses and I can't be a part of it. I own my madness. I can't live in denial. And because I am still human, this all hurts. My grandma cries for her mother who died, who never even WAS a real mother to her. I guess Im mourning the loss of parents that are still alive because I can't go backwards to fit in with them. I would say I wish things were different, but I believe in everything happening for a reason and being as it should be.

Avatar universal
by remar, Jan 04, 2016
Tara, everyone has a different perception on things. Maybe I'm comparing my childhood to yours by saying, it could have been a lot worse. You know I lived in fear because of my dad and then my step dad. My childhood was very rigid and there was very little fun. I'm not sure if you could ever understand the fear Patty and I both had when we heard Roys truck pulling in. I never wanted you to know that kind of fear so maybe that's why I babied you. I'm not trying to make excuses for the kind of mom I was. I own everything. There were many times I couldn't be there for you either physically or emotionally. How do you think that makes me feel? How do you think it makes me feel every time you bring it up?
I still baby you. In my eyes you can do nothing wrong. When have I ever told you, Tara, your ranting and raving is really getting on my nerves? Never. I let you use me as a sounding board. You know you can call or message me any time day or night with any problem and I'm going to be there to listen for as long as you need to vent. Maybe I do this because I know I could have lost you several times. Do you ever stop to think about how blessed I feel that I did not lose you?  
You really got down on me about my pain yesterday and how I treat it. You also deal with chronic pain. Yes, I am seeing a Dr and I do take medication for my pain. I want to know why you're dealing with chronic pain if you're living a clean life that includes yoga everyday? I'm asking a valid question. Why are you still in so much physical pain all the time if eating clean, meditating, and doing yoga should be taking care of that pain? Why do you use herb? I'm not against it and you know that. It's like you're telling me, mom, do exactly what I'm doing and you won't have this pain any more. You and I went 3 weeks without talking not long ago. No contact at all. Were you still in pain? I don't want you to be Tara. I don't want to see my child hurt. And I do understand the connection between stress and pain. Have you ever thought about the fact that I worked very physical jobs and my back could only take so much and is breaking down on me? I don't only use medication to help my pain. I do the yoga you taught me, I use a heating pad, soak in the tub, use my little tens unit, do stretching exercises. You were an alcoholic so maybe you can't understand that many people can have control over things like medication and not abuse them.
I told you yesterday that if having me and the rest of your family in your life is toxic we would leave you alone. Why did you continue writing me and why did you comment here? I don't want to lode you Tara. I can't make all of us make the changes you want us to make. I can't make Mom move out of her house, I'm trying to help Patty find a new place so she will be happier, I can't make Misty move out. I feel like you want all of these major changes to take place in order for you to have anything to do with us. We do own our problems. Do you think we just sit back and say, I'm fine, there's nothing wrong with me? No!
A person can only take so much Tara. I hear from you a lot about how we messed you up. Have you ever once thought about how you effect my anxiety and depression? I can say nothing though because you'll flip out on me. If it's not the family it's your job, your friends, the people that live downstairs keeping you awake.
I don't want to hurt your feelings but you have no problem putting things out there. I never do because I don't want to hurt you. I try my best to point out the good things about you, and there are many. You've even gotten mad at me about that before. I just feel like I can do nothing right.
I don't want to fight any more. You can say what ever you want to and you have a right to do that. You also have a right to your own feelings. Yes, we have illnesses, and so do you. Have I ever cut you out of my life because of your illnesses? No, not one time. We're different people though. It doesn't make me better than you and it doesn't make you worse than me.
I just want you to be happy and live your life to the fullest.
I've said I would leave you alone and I will. I will never not be your mother and I will never not be here for you. I'm done with the fighting. If we can't talk to each other with respect and like adults then I do think it's best we don't talk.
I love you Tara, nothing will ever change that.  

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by dominosarah, Jan 04, 2016
Remar, i know this is none of my business but i am sticking my nose into it anyways!!  I am going to speak as the addict here first......Recovery is a long long drug out process.  There are many ups and downs.  The skeletons start rattling in the closet and find a way out.  Many times we have to go back and relive our childhood as some of us were stripped of our childhood.  In a family that is dysfunctional such as mine was, honesty wasnt tolerated.  .Noone wanted to hear the truth so here i am almost 50 at the time telling my mother things i never thought i could.  It was scary yet liberating.  She was livid and told me i was just like my dad, which was her way of insulting me as she hated my dad.  The last time i saw her she was on her death bed with only days to live.  I hadnt seen her or talked to her in over 4 yrs.  She and i were so toxic together and i had to save myself.  Do i feel guilty about that now?  No i dont.  What i do feel bad about is not doing it sooner as maybe we could of put us back together.  My mom and dad did their best at the time.  Tara loves you, just as i loved my mom and dad but the difference is now Tara is learning to love herself.  Give this some time my friend, let her spread her wings.  We always know where home is~

Avatar universal
by lboogie7729, Jan 04, 2016
Mom I requested for my page to be shut down on here last night. This is your domain and you can have it.
I'll answer your questions though. Why do I deal with pain? I had hyper-mobility issues as a kid that led to my hip rolling around the socket now that I am an adult. What am I doing about it? Getting it strong because it effects my low back and all of my movement. I had cervical arthritis at 25. Why? Multiple car wrecks. My neck is getting better all the time which is what happens in yoga practice. Remember I studied with a NFL player with a previously broken back?
Yes the 3 weeks we didn't talk did make me feel lighter if nothing else, things were easier to manage somehow. My job is so challenging even for a normal person but I get up and go in with an awesome attitude because I know I am there to help people like you and I learn how to take care of themselves. I feel like it's your lifestyle mom. It's the buying into the anxiety and depression and confining yourself to the house laced in nicotine because you chain smoke, not saying you never get out. But all the time sitting caused the compression in your back. You smoke SO much that the stuff grandma brough toy apartment made it smell like a huge ashtray in here for a day while I burned incense like crazy. It upsets me to know you are either sitting up smoking, or sleeping 75% of the time I call. In all reality, not moving enough, I'm talking an hour a day at least mom, and babying it long term will not heal it. I get on my mat with tears in my eyes sometimes first thing in every morning because my body is so stiff and by the time I get off my body is moving infinitely better.
Why do I still deal with arthritis? Because I am totally addicted to sugar, like a lot of alcoholics, and it's THE most inflammatory thing I could have outside of dairy which easier for me to avoid. I have to get strict with my diet, my sleep schedule, allot enough time to practice, then teach 3 classes plus a workshop this week and close Tues-Fri. I'm not saying I can get pain free 100% of the time but I'm getting closer every day because I am relentless with this. If I just did a few minutes a day, I could not function and I too would not leave the house most days. I don't judge you for being in pain mom. I feel bad for you, all the time! My mom is 54 and I feel like my 73 year old grandma and older people all over the world are doing better health wise. It bothers me because I love you and grandma has never stopped saying since I was a kid that you are just wasting your life and sleeping your life away. It's like her worry was bred into me. I see your pain as representing larger issues, like the entire lifestyle and a life time of unresolved issues that keep you bound up and in pain physically and mentally. That's what I was trying to say yesterday, not give you a hard time about it.
You are not there for me to talk to anytime, that's not a true statement. Let me make it crystal clear how often in my life I've wanted to talk to my mom and the vast majority of the time I could not reach you. As time went on and I learned how to deal with things myself, I'd get calmed down and you'd call me back that night. Which led to me rehashing things that I had already dealt with so I would go to bed with my adrenals pumping. Like I would have to catch you up on my life when we talked because we go so long without talking. You're right about it being one sided too. I guess I'm so convinced that it's always going to be the same thing that I don't want to hear what's going on. I ask because I am concerned about you guys and it is always the same thing. Do I want to see big changes? Yes mom because I know it's possible and I want to see you all live an infinitely better life. Do I think I can change you? No, not ever which is why I continue to back away lately. Can I love you how you are? Yes. I just can't accept chaos at face value, especially when you guys do bring things up to me, and not feel some kind of way about it. When addicts get well and our families don't we're the odd man out. I'm cool with that. It's not easy but it's better than the alternative which is drinking so I can get along. Dominosarah is right about basically everything, but wrong about one thing when it comes to me. Nothing and nowhere has ever been home to me. Hence my feeling of constant instability growing up knowing there was no safe space. I didn't get hit or terrorized, I got left alone all the time mom. Dad worked ALL the time, you almost never left your room and I understand all of that now but I was left alone to figure things out for myself. I'm not knocking you but stop acting like it didn't effect me profoundly because it did. It's ok though, I found home inside myself and I take it with me. It has nothing to do with my family. I am trying to learn how to love myself after hating myself more than you'll ever know most of my life. I wanted to die mom, I obsessed about the escape valve and I didn't do it to ever manipulate you. I'm sorry you spent all this time worrying about me. I didn't know how sick I was and neither did you. I didn't get the help I needed when I really needed it ya know? I don't knock you for not telling dad your sisters friend's raped me but do you see how keeping that secret led to me not getting help until I found it myself as an adult? Things spiraled. Secrets mom, they devastate families. I'm getting the help I need now and like dominosarah said all kinds of things are coming to the surface. All of these things I thought I forgave have to be dealt with for real now and that's an inside job. You guys can't fix me and I can't fix you. "No one can save us but ourselves. No one can and no one may." I'll work on myself and get out of everyone's way. I love you mom, I'm sorry this is how it is

Avatar universal
by remar, Jan 07, 2016
Tara and I are better now. We do have our ups and downs. She means everything to me. We have some issues that we need to work out and that will happen.
I'm sorry all of this happened Tara. Never ever would I intentionally try to upset you. I think once you knew that the jewelry I bought for you was second hand and I was trying to replace a ring of yours that broke and meant so much to you, you understood why I did what I did.
I love you so very much my Baby Girl.
Sarah. You are an angel and I want to thank you again for always being there for me and Tara. We value your friendship more then you could ever know. Much love and big hugs to you.

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