Tues Feb 26th, 2008

I spent the afternoon holding my little 103 year old sweet-heart. She loves to fall asleep cradled in my arms kissing my hand. "What are you going to do when I die?" she asked. And I cried.  I almost lost her last night from an airway obstruction. She has difficulty swallowing at times and it only took a single teaspoon of food to cause her to gag and choke. She turned blue, I cleared her airway with my finger, and held her tightly as she trembled and recovered. Today her aide has the flu and a sore throat, but did not tell me she was sick because she was afraid of losing a days pay, despite the fact I told I'd pay her if she was sick, if only she'd let me know And of course the aide has "health" ideas and doen't want to swallow a cough suppressant. Today, my little one cannot swallow at all, and I'm not sure if it is a re-occurance of her dysphagia or she simply has a sore throat caught from the aide.  High priced cleaning people hired by her attorney showed up, and as usually did a crummy unacceptable job, and of course, did not bother to come down to say hello to the lady of the house, who is paying them. They never do, despite being asked to do so. She delights in  having visitors.  But old people depress young people. You know about the song "Old dogs and children and watermelon wine."  I fired the the "clean team"  today, which earns me another credit in the "how to win friends and influence people department". The moving finger writes, and having writ, moves on. To live for today and to love for tomorrow is the wisdom of a fool, because tomorrow is promised to no-one.