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I FEEL HOPELESS (ANXIETY DISORDER)

Feb 26, 2008 - 20 comments

I feel like there's no reason for me to live anymore if I keep suffering from GAD and panic disorder.
I feel terrible I tell you, terrible..
I had this last month and it lasted for 4 days.. now 3 days ago I had it again until now as I'm typing and I feel TERRIBLE
I get very light headed..
I'm dizzy..
Can't eat..
Loss interest of so many things..
Emotional ( I cried without any reason..)
Dying..
Etc..

Is GAD or panic disorder curable?
Can it be treated?
Can it be gone in just months instead of years or forever?
i'm so sad... I don't even want to be myself anymore.. This is the worst I've felt in such a long time..

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by witte, Feb 27, 2008
You will get better.  You are in a vicious cycle.  Know you will get better!

Paxil worked for me.  Get on a med and stick with it no matter how hard it is to get used to it.  It will be working real well for you by a month.  Get a job.  Working works for me.  It gets your mind off things you don't need to keep dwelling on.  It builds self esteem.  Push yourself hard. Know you will get better.  This too shall pass.

Been there, done that.  You are perfectly fine. You are not abnormal.  You are just like everyone else.  You are not going to die or go crazy.  Get up and get working on you. Fight like you have never fought before.  Tell it to GET THE HELL OUT AND AWAY FROM YOU.  Get up, take a shower, get moving, confide in a confidant!  You are a very intelligent person and you just think too much.  Find an outlet.  Play an instrument.  Listen to music.  Get a new hobby.  But especially WORK and get MOVING.

Know God loves you and people do care about you.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  Don't give up!  I will pray for you right now.  Let people physically touch you.

God bless you dear friend.

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by radagegi, Feb 27, 2008
Witte... your comment has really warmed my heart.. Thank you so much
It means alot to me..
Have u really been through what i've been through?
And yeah 100% people who I've asked about this say they've been through what I have been.
Thanks God I''m not alone.
There are many ways to lift this disorder right?
I'm going to try my best!

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by cnote, Feb 27, 2008
Yes you can lift this disorder! I have... I will admit, it still comes and goes on and off... but I KNOW deep down it will go away, YOU HAVE TO FIGHT, and you have to FIND PEACE IN IT!!!

Talk to your folks about seeing a Dr. and discussing what you think you should do.

I do agree with Witte, stay BUSY BUSY BUSY, keep your mind off things.

I blame the world we are living in for our problems...

But we let things get to us! And our imagination runs wild.

Let me ask you something....

I bet you are a really smart and creative individual aren't you?

I play a variety of different instruments, I direct and edit films, I paint.. etc. I do everything creative.

Sometimes, I really do beleive, that people like us, are very smart (not bragging) but this is where the meaning

"ignorance is bliss" comes in. If you think about it, people that are easy going, and aren't all brains... or whatever... they are happy people it seems like.

But a lot of us creative people.. our imaginations seem to run a little bit more wildly than others.

Keep it real buddy. You are going to be AWESOME! I KNOW IT!!! =)

-CHRIS-

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by suzi-q, Mar 17, 2008
I had your exact symptoms too....many of us on this site have or had them.  There are newbies here who are just starting this horrible disorder and then there are us "old times" who have this anxiety stuff for many years.  Mine is 14 years!!!

The good news....yes!  You can overcome it.  I am living proof.  I went through what you are going through for 6 months straight.  I felt my life was over.  I was so disgusted...I know how you are feeling.

But...with the right meds and therapy I am 95% better...I won't say 100% because it still gets me every now and then.  

I have also learned behavior techniques for dealing with those terrible symptoms.

You WILL BE OK...but you have to be pro-active and do what you need to do to get well.

Best to you..and hang in there!

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by dlcottage, Mar 29, 2008
I also have GAd and panick disorder diagnosed in 1994 .. It did get better for me ,. Until recently back to where i was befor  but working on getting it controled again .. I recently had a set back  had dental work done and ended up with trigiminal neuralgia and dr put me on tegretol which actually metobolized the zoloft i was taking , so now im up on the zoloft does and not taking tegretol for the neuralgia and taking lyrica im told it takes time to get a handle on things again .. but you are not alone i have all those symptoms and more ..


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by lonewolf07, Mar 30, 2008
Hi radagegi - to be honest, I'm not sure what GAD is.  Is it General Anxiety Disorder?  When I first joined this forum I was suicidal and no doubt will feel that way again so a lot of what you say, I can relate to what you are feeling.  Panic attacks are terrifying and debilitating.  Do you have a therapist to talk to?  I am M├ętis (Native) and besides going to a therapist, I see a medicine woman/man who is also Native.   (But I'm not suggesting you go to a Native healer - just that I find the connection with my community helpful.)

Also, I would guess that you are an extremely intelligent and creative person; your feelings came across to me in a very powerful way.  Your pain sounds excutiating and sure hits home.

I think panic disorder can be treated and controlled but you would probably need a therapist and possibly medication for this.  The process of controllling takes as long as it needs to, there is no set time.  You might also experience setbacks but don't quit because of this.  It's part of therapy, part of being human.  It isn't a linear process.

Sad - yes.  Not wantng to be yourself - agonizing to read and agonizing to feel.  Doubt yourself is a bad person, more likely a good, intelligent caring person and all this gets hidden by your panic attacks.

Can't say I'm a dr or an expert but if you have no objections, I will pray and smudge (a Native ritual) for you.  If this is the worst you've felt in your life, maybe it's time to be on the road to healing.

lonewolf

                

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by Becky336, Jul 06, 2008
I'm 37-years-old, have a good job, nice place to live but I'm one of the most miserable people I know.

I am constantly in a state of worry. I want to control it, but it seems to just overwhelm me.

I lost my dad 12 years ago, my sister to cancer  11/2 ago and I strongly believe their deaths are what's taking a toll on me.

Both died an unpleasant death and I'm afraid of the same fate.

Back in March I had a scare of my own. Drs. thought I might have breast cancer. Turned out I have what is called a fibroadenoma.  Not a big deal. It's benign. But the doctor's office called me this past week to set up a "follow-up" appoint. This has me even more panicked than normal. If it's "nothing" why do I have to go in for a follow up? People say this is normal for a follow-up. Me, I'm paranoid in thinking that it is something more serious than they thought and that's why they are having me come back in. However, I know this is irrational thinking because they did tell me that it was standard procedure anytime anyone has a biopsy to have a followup.

I just feel alone. I don't want to run off my friends by complaining all the time. People are trying to be patient with me but I just feel horrible and alone.

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by Beckham23, Aug 19, 2008
I have been through the same for past 2 years...i took medicine for initial few months....but then i refused to take medicine and refused to accept the fact there is any disease called GAD....Believe me...half of the problem got solved..although it was tough...but blv me..half of the problem got solved......

Cure no. 1 - Whenever you face any problem or crisis....Just think this way>>>>..that there are 2 ways to solve a problem...One by getting irritated and tensed...and not focusing on the solution...but more on the problem....
The other way is to think...as to how a most positive person will deal with the problem....and try to emulate that thinking or try to do things as to how a positive person will do it....
Initially it will be difficult to follow this ...but try try and try.....U will definitely master it.....

Cure no. 2 - Think of anxiety as a false alarm..while you talk with your inner self during normal time....tell ur brain that it sends wrong signals during panic or stressed times......keep on repeatedly telling your brain this thing..until it enters your sub conscious mind...

Cure no 3 - Do deep breathing when you are feeling stressed....

Cure no 4 - Think of GAD as just a feeling...not a physical or organ disorder...and ask yourself that can a feeling or thought cause you death...???...cause you any real loss???....the only answer that will come is NO...and that will help u regain ur self belief

Cure no 5 - Exercise daily...and refuse to accept that you have GAD....keep on constantly telling your brain that you wont let GAD remain in ur body.....

Just follow these points religiously they will cure ur problems....

It has worked for me....and i hope it will work for you also....

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by evillb, Oct 17, 2008
hi...im not sure if i have GAD but for the past 2 and a half years, i have been constantly paranoid and worrying. I have had full on outbursts where i just ball my eyes out, i have had many anxiety attacks where i have hyperventillated and gone completely numb all over and into a whole body fit. They really sucked. Lately this has been really bad. I have not been able to handle loud noises or even the smallest irritations. And many times i have thought about how much easyier everything would be if i wasnt here. Many times i have commited self harm and i continue to do so, and i feel thast i have no control over my self when i do that. I feel pathetic, worthless and upset constantly. Also I can not get okd haunting memories out of my head, and im scarred to ask questions now, because i fear that i will get yelled at and then have another attack. I know something is wrong, but im kindda worried that there is, because i dont want there to be anything wrong. but its gotten to a point where i dont want to get up in the morning, i cant sleep at night, and ive lost all interest in school and i have no interest in my past hobbies. Im scared to go to a doctor but i know that i need to. I just really want this behaviour to stop. 3 months of feeling depressed is far to much for me to handle and i dont know how much longer i can hold in. Im scared.

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by Antonia33, Nov 03, 2008
evillb- You are NOT alone! I also have GAD and depression. Right now I have been prescribed Wellbutrin, don't know if it's going to work. I have to continue to take it, though or I won't know if it works. Whatever you are prescribed, take it unless you feel suicidal/hopeless. After I had my daughter, I couldn't take the same medication because of the hormone shift. For 17 months I've been on five different meds- not fun. I wish I could tell you it's easy. Just keep fighting it! Tell yourself you deserve to be happy. Look in the mirror each morning (or night) and say it to yourself. It WILL get better- hang in there! Carol

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by radagegi, Dec 24, 2008
whoa..this was a long time ago...
Now... (10 months later)..
I feel aLOT better than how I used to feel when I first got it..
How I did it? Realization and ....idk....it's just..disappearing..


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by Ohnoma, Dec 26, 2008
I suffered with GAD and Panic Attacks for many years. Tried all the meds, no help. Problem was in my mind and my way of thinking. I moved out of state and found a new doctor. Told her about the Panic attacks and she recommended a good hypnotherapist. Within a matter of two months, they were gone. That was over 13 years ago and I haven't had one sense. I learned tricks to control them without controlling them to the point of anxiety. Number one, when you are calm and relaxed and in a safe place, try to bring one on. Rarely can it happen. If you are out and one comes on, go with it, tell it to, "Come On, give me your best shot", stand up to it. It is like a swimming pool. If you gradually stick your feet in the water it seems cold and takes your breath away and causes more fear. If you just jump in and get it over with, you can enjoy the water. It is all  a part of our built in,"Fight or Flight" reaction to fear. Fear produces more fear, and more fear produces panic. It is not reality at all, it is just an abnormal response to a normal situation. You have to get your thinking on, and get it on good. I am living proof that it can be done. I would've sworn there was no help or no anwsers, but there is. I was terrified of life, of people, of my job (I quit because of the attacks) and thought death was the only way out of this miserable existence. I was soooo wrong. I am telling all of you, "YOU CAN DO IT, JUST LIKE I DID." You just have to regain control of your mind. It is yours, get it back...

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by godschild118, Apr 02, 2009
wow all of your stories are somewhat  like mine. i was on meds for a month and felt better but got a really bad allergic reaction so i had to get off, i am doing good, i gained some guts and told myself that this disorder is not going to rule me, i have power over it, it dose not have power over me! through God all things are possible! beckham23 your advice is great! for all those taking meds...its perfectly fine, just continue to tell yourself GAD is not a part of me! this to shall pass!

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by mlindsay, May 27, 2009
i'm 14, an a drop out, i was good kide butt i lost myself in drama an let take control an lost all my friends an fall more within the two years, i did not tell anyone, i feel like i'm not like myself i use to be the life of the party and had friends an made everyone laugh an lit up ah smiled. butt now i just feel lost an it will never be the same cause i lost who i was an cry and just feel like i must always be alone. i see my best friend she happy in school as bf an as a life, i just feel im just not happy for who i am.  my dad does not want to see me. my mom thinks i do drugs, an i never have even touch them. my own family thinks the worst of me an how they dont want anything to do with me, i dont know what my life as come too. i was happy butt i slowly gave up on friends, an had trust problems, now i only have one friend and it just feels like im only her friend because i feel so lost, with myself that i help her with her problems butt dont tell anyone about mine, i just want to get away an never come back an be alone, cause then i dont have to deal with mean comments that people talk about me. instead i stay away an never let anyone in cause then ill just fall more more down,,, i'm not happy for who i am i just wish i could close me eyes and think of everything being perfect instead of everyone hating me, butt then again i feel like this why im here to feel sad an never have a smile on my face maybe ill  just fall and give up, like i have already done, i dont want to go back to school, im doing online school an its helping cause i can do it on my time an dont have to deal with drama and seeing my friend have such a great life an me just there getting step on, and crying myself to sleep.im never being me again there is no me anymore its more of ill never gett back up were i use to be, ill just fall and cry till gone.

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by max584, Mar 15, 2010
I have gad for over 30 years.  I was a teenager when I was first diagnosis with Gad and Depression.  I raised 3 children.  You may read on the web that there is no cure for this disorder and that it is treatable.  I myself have dealt with GAD for years and still continue to fight this disorder.  There are going to be good times and bad times.  Never give up.  Find a good therapist and try to learn ways to stop your chronic worrying.  There is cognitive Therapy and medication that can be taken.  It depends on what works best for you.  I know that using common sense and keeping your self busy helps you put things in perspective.   No one said life would be easy.  Relaxation and meditation also helps.  Always remember that you deserve to be here and you are human.  When we label ourselves and compare ourselves to others we feel anxious and depressed.  So what we have GAD its not the end of the world.  Stay strong and never compare yourself to others. Always treat yourself like you would treat your best friend.  

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by verydeep, Apr 26, 2010
I don't know if i have a diagnosis or not but this feels really horrible. Everything was great in high school, everyone knew me and i had some amazing experiences and exuded confidence maybe even cockiness and felt like i could do anything in the world. Then i went to a small college for my first year at residence where it seemed a lot of people knew each other already and i felt really misplaced and started comparing myself to others. I lost all my confidence, i felt alone and no longer popular or part of any group, it seemed everyone already had good friendships and i was on my own. I constantly analyzed everything and felt like i was always doing something wrong and people started picking on me and putting me down, which didn't bother me before college because i used to feel like i was better than those who would put me down but for some reason now i didn't feel like i was above them. It was a really horrible time. To top it off everyone already had roommates for the next year and i was left having to room with someone who was not interested in the same things i was interested in, but did exceptionally well academically which is something i wanted to accomplish, so i thought it could possibly work out. We signed the lease for a 4 person place off-campus that was nice and he said he had 2 other people lined up, ok. Well those 2 people left and we were on the hook for the lease which is something that was not feasible to us and we had to go to court to settle. I completed my year but was badly damaged mentally and felt hopeless as if my mojo had disappeared forever.

Then came summer, where i felt like committing suicide because one of my best friends had a relative get him a corporate summer job which is something i really wanted to get so i could gain experience with my degree. My grandfather was dying and staying with us and i was sleeping on our couch for weeks with no summer job lined up, constantly getting into arguments with my parents and feeling like complete sh*t! I desperately wanted to get my own place and my father finally agreed to help me out if i got a job somewhere. I got motivated and spent time finding a place for the summer and handing out resumes. Wow this sucked! I was not a potential candidate for any jobs to get experience towards my degree. To top it off i wasn't getting any interviews for jobs that i could careless about getting in the first place. I felt knocked down again, until i went to a couple restaurants and they hired me for training on the spot! This gave me a little boost of self-esteem, especially when i got my paycheck. I got fired from my job 6 weeks out but didn't really care because i had something else lined up plus the rush rush pace of the restaurant industry didn't appeal to me. The whole summer was like a chain effect of success, i initially got hired, i found a place and moved into it for the summer (it turned out my roommate and i really got along and became good friends), i found a place to live for the upcoming school year, i found another job full-time as a back-up, started saving a bunch of money, started having fun and good experiences with my old high school friends, started going back to the gym, started having a good attitude and was slowly starting to feel like my old self again. Summer ended and i was motivated to go all out academically and do really well so that i could be a desirable candidate for a summer intern at a company as well as get into the exclusive ivey undergraduate school for my last 2 years of college. Plus my roommate was heading in the direction i wanted to go and could possible help me and I felt like if i could do exceptionally well academically the sky is the limit.

My first time moving into a completely empty space and buying new furniture was a complete disaster. The place we moved into was never fixed up properly and there was peeling paint and filth everywhere, moving everything into the space was a complete hassle because i didn't live in the city where i was going to school. What really ticked me off was the few closer kids i knew from school were all living in a way nicer and bigger apartment place down the street from me. Basically everyone in my small building kept to themselves and were far different from the people i normally hang out with who are ambitious, driven and do well. I was embarrassed to even think about inviting people over to hang out with me which separated me even further from the kids at my school. This whole living arrangement and environment completely sucked! O yea did i mention there was no ******* heat dial in the place when winter hit (i thought that was always included). Anyways there was nothing i could do at this point, so i decided to suck it up and stick to my goal of doing very well academically. I really tried to embrace the experience and push through to achieve what i wanted. I decided to give up my former being, my former interests and my former entity in order to become a new person who did extremely well academically. Guess what i sacrificed everything and the result was utter disappointment. The kids that i knew in my class who were headed in the direction i wanted to go did better than me on tests in addition to being more social and having fun and enjoying life and looking towards a bright future. Myself on the other hand being someone who was not getting the desired results, had zero social life, was having no fun or joy, has a roommate who was older than me and was out studying all the time, having an apartment that was a complete mess, my grandfather passing away and i was worried to death about where i was heading in life. Not to mention all of these kids had more wealth than i did, so i was the underdog and needed to strive to be even better to get to where i wanted to go, which now felt impossible. I had still not fully recovered from my first year at college so my situation was still delicate. Being delicate like a piece of glass, this massive tornado came and it went crack, crack, smash and my whole life fell into pieces both mentally and physically. I had no motivation or drive or desire to do anything, it just felt like i was going to be a failure for the rest of my life and i couldn't do anything about it. I started going out and getting drunk more often, i started intensely gambling online which lead to major debt and i started watching tv all day and missing class. I had no reason to get up in the morning, was sleeping 12 hours a day and i had no energy to do anything but lie on the couch, watch tv and compare myself on facebook to see how everyone i knew was happy and had good friends by their side and were headed in a positive direction. I used to be clean, good-looking, well dressed and desirable back in the day and now all i did was wear sweat pants and smelly socks and t-shirts because i no longer cared about anything. This is actually rock bottom: few friends that are better than you, no money, no motivation or drive, no enjoyment, no energy, no confidence and no future.
It literally felt like my life was over.

I dropped out of college 3/4 the way through the year and in the summer i was seeing everyone i knew pretending nothing ever happened. Since summer i've been hiding in a cave working sh*t jobs to pay off my student loan and i'm completely embarrassed to show my face to anyone again because i'm VERY different than the person that everyone knew me to be. I feel like i've failed in life and i'm in this never ending vortex of dissatisfaction and unhappiness with who i am compared to who i want to be. Luckily, i was a decent student and my school agreed to let me enroll for this next year in a different part of the school with a completely different student body, but i am so terrified and so fearful to go back and have another similar experience. Every time i think about going back i feel a big heavy pit of fear in my stomach and lump in my throat. Also, this is the most important time in people's lives when they create a solid foundation for themselves in their career's and with all this recession talk, it seems like even if i do well it's a lost cause to get summer experience while studying at college. I'm not sure if something is wrong with me as a person or if i've just been dragged through the dark side of hell, but one thing is for sure, I will never give up! I know that somehow everything will work out in the end and i will become the person i can picture myself to be and that i will always remember these times once i make it to the other side.

Who knows, maybe all this was a blessing in disguise.  

                                            

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by LillyRobinson, Apr 26, 2010
i have been on prozac(20) for 3 month and just a week ago added wellbiturn(150) i feel dazed and have brain zaps all the time the doc said to give my body time to adjust to the meds do any of you take this cotail?

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by Waterlily12, May 10, 2010
I have a lot of anxiety in my life as well. For the past 8 years I've dealt with feeling overemotional, claustrophobic around large groups of people, feelings of anxiety and paranoia, and not feeling good enough. I wish I could just be happy and not worry. It seems like I'm okay for the most part when my life is running smoothly, but once something throws me off course it's like I panic and want to get back into my comfort zone.

I'm trying really hard to be strong and get through my issues without the use of medication. I'm dealing with withdrawal symptoms from effexor. I used to be numb on that pill, was careless and jumped into situations without thinking things through. I'm more like myself now, a bit shy and cautious, more understanding, and I can feel again! Sure I get really sad sometimes but lately I've been giggling and really passionate about things in life. I'm taking time to enjoy the small things in life.

Just hang in there and be strong and happy. Worrying will not bring any good-and I've got to stop worrying too! Trust God and do all that you can do in your life to the best of your abilities.

Take care! :)


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by radagegi, May 12, 2010
Hey guys. I just want to tell you all that I haven't had any panic attacks or severe anxiety for about a year and a half now. Completely free from it. I self-educated myself and trying not to care about life anymore (By that I mean in a good way, trying to enjoy life while it's still good).
I didn't use any medicine. I only did it for the first week I was diagnosed with it, but I told myself that I didn't want to be addicted to any type of drugs. None of my family members cared enough about my disease and they blamed me for having it. I had the worst feeling when I had no support at all, not from drug, nor from people close to me. I did not do any therapy, behavioral techniques or some sorts like that.. at ALL. I just let my life run its course..

But hey imagine me getting through this, you guys should too! I'm 18 now. I was 16 when I had it. I'm in college right now and living the life (even though I don't party at all!) P.S: I'm still a bit depressed though, it's harder to get away from depression than anxiety.. But whatever atleast depression doesn't give me hyperventilation so I'm good with that haha..

~Some words of encouragement : to those who are still struggling with panic attacks or any other type of anxiety, PLEASE PLEASE STAY STRONG. DO NOT GIVE UP. I know this has been said a million times (literally), but it is so true.

And thank you for every loving and positive comment that I've received ever since I got this mental disease. Thank you all that have supported me through this! Your help is MUCH appreciated. I will pray for you all :)

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by allans462, Jan 06, 2013
Hi.ive suffered with gad for 35 years i have taken xanax for years,only thing that works,my main problem is it realy gets outa hand when i exercise.
i had cancer of the bowel and the strange thing is before and after the operation and 6 months of chemo ,i never had one anxiety attack,
now ime having them alot latley yet 3 years on. ime in remission so what is my problem.
it mainley just hits me out off the blue,ie  exercise,change in weather,heart starts to go outa of wack dizzy chocking feeling.
ive tried lots of meds but at 54 years old i just about at my wits end,i do drink lots of diet coke and over eat that brings it on as well can some one please help.

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