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New Poem I Wrote About Concert I Attended

Jun 13, 2012 - 4 comments
Tags:

history

,

Music

,

Self Awareness

,

Recovery

,

spirituality

,

tardive dyskinesia

,

Tardive Dysphrenia

,

Tardive Dystonia

,

Tardive Psychosis

,

Tardive Dysmentia

,

Atypical Catatonia



506340?1340109537
Phrasing: (in 3 Parts)

Crescendo
It was just last night that I saw the ensemble by the musician Jordi Savall
He was one of a few musicians who had breathed life into medieval music
Before I entered the concert I was distressed
My life not being what it had been made me want to close
what had been the past
At the Metropolitan Museum of art where the concert was
my mom asked me if I remembered when I was a kid
and my piano teacher spoke to someone who showed us
the museum on a day it was closed
and if I could remember the Temple of Dendur (Egyptian art section)
I said I did want to bring up memories
they had been taken from me as I had dementia and catatonia
  So I sat down in trepidation and within moments
the audience had faded into the background
and at center stage were 3 musicians
who breathed life into the past
Medieval dances and songs
by long past writers
some known some anonymous
and instruments that would otherwise
have been lost to history
such as the rebec and ud
that evolved into the instruments we know of today

I let my mind drift
one could see courtesans and common people both
and their lives long since gone fleshed out
the past the buildings I had seen when I visited Spain
a decade ago
churches and castles gain inhabitants
It was a time when the different cultures lived together
and shared ideas and brought together
a society where people could live equally
but like all things it came to an end

and then there was a pause

Lament
  Then there was a break
He told us of the instruments
have been lost to history
such as the rebec and ud
that evolved into the instruments we know of today
and their history and he then said
he was going to perform a requiem
for people who were no longer with us
People who had lived in fear
Such as conversos(term meaning Jewish
people who in historical times could not practice their religion)
and noted that he himself having performed for 45 years
had himself not always lived in freedom (in recent times)
and was thankful he could now
the music had a wailing tone for lost souls
that could not breathe free
and perhaps for others elsewhere
still alive who could not as well

He then played a piece for his wife
another musician
who had passed on
He played a recording of her singing
and the group played instrumentation
that carried her intentions to fruition
One could hear a lost voice brought to life
He said that if people were still spoken about
That their memory was still alive
and that they were still with us

I then spoke to my mom
Things had changed
I could now remember
the museum the day
I was allowed to see it
as a young person
when it was closed to visitors
Everything appeared so forboding and strange
but yet tangible

could remember my piano teacher
and how he had taught me to love music
and how at a time in my life
when people had left me he had suddenly passed on
and the sudden sense of loss

Improvisation
  
  I thought back to a few days before
when I had walked through the east village
where I used to feel accepted
and how much things had changed
and how I felt quite so alone
I no longer wanted to be different
I just wanted to be accepted
but as I could no longer physically speak coherently
and slipped in and out of catatonic states
as if dreams had taken possession of me
time had taken its toll

What was genuine had disappeared or was vanishing and
What was commidified and gentrified had taken root instead

I walked into one of the last remaining record stores
the cd's were stacked to the ceiling precariously
The owner of the store was hesistant
and somewhat edgy and the cd's could at any moment
with one motion fall
I realized he could not help but think otherwise
This was his world
He said with a sense of accomplishment "I just put them in order"

I could not speak clearly and my voice was choked
but I asked him about a few jazz recordings
I might want
"haven't had that one in a while" he said
taking an interest and going through the collection
I said thank you as best as I could and left
Not many people went to that store anymore
He seemed glad someone had taken the time

The way my life had been over the past few years
with the people I knew leaving me
was like a series of doors
closing one after the other
with no chance they would ever open again
I thought back on what was a new chapter
in my life and realized that
it was me that was in the wrong
because I had forgotten to leave the door open



Comments
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535822_tn?1417529476
by margypops, Jun 13, 2012
What a beautiful piece of writing , Iladvocate..I am going to read it again, I can visualise what you are saying ...you are very gifted ..

585414_tn?1288944902
by ILADVOCATE, Jun 13, 2012
Thanks. I appreciate that.

2010625_tn?1329375656
by Amy4891, Jun 18, 2012
Very nice! :-)

585414_tn?1288944902
by ILADVOCATE, Jun 18, 2012
Thanks.

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