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something good

Jul 01, 2012 - 1 comments
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family

,

Home

,

Sad



so, as odd as this sounds, for the past year and a half, i've had a persistent feeling of running out of time. that some big change was coming, and that life would never be the same, that i was gonna lose everything. i'm pretty sure this was brought on in part by knowing college was coming soon, and feeling that my friendship with heero was fading. i just realized, that i dont feel this way anymore.

maybe it's because, the home i was afraid of losing no longer feels like home. I came back from my mom's house the other day [[my mom, who i'm getting along with better than I have in nearly a decade]] to my dad's, the place I've called home for quite some time, and felt like whatever made it 'home' was gone. the house felt violated, by people who i once considered family, but now see as unwanted strangers. i guess it's a sort of closure, since i've always felt attached to this house... but now that my dad and i are always fighting, that sense of 'home' has vanished. I dont belong here, i dont belong anywhere. I'm afraid to spend a lot of time with my mom, because we'll start to fight again, and then what would i do? i cant go back to that...

I'm so excited to go away to college in a month and a half. i'm finally getting out of this **** town--i've wanted to leave since I was ten. i really just hope that my dorm in the city will feel like 'home', will feel like somewhere I belong...

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by 2ndBabyFever, Jul 01, 2012
I really hope that you find what you are looking for when you go off to college.
It can be hard to find your place in the world but when you least expect it, it will
happen! Best of luck! What are you going to college for?
Well keep me posted!
-Stephi

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