Almost through day 3 and determined to make it

This has been hard this weekend.  There are times that I just didn't want to get out of bed, but I have to for my son.  I didn't quit for him, I quit for myself and that I didn't want him to grow up with a mother who is a drug addict.  I was going to 2 differnt doctors for pain meds.  Of course they didn't know about eachother.  1 dr was giving me 120 10/650 of Loratab a month and the other dr was giving me 120 15mg of oxycontin a month.  I was still running out, they only way I was avoiding withdrawals is that my mom and dad get vicodin and don't take as many as prescribed so they have quite the build up.  That filled some of the void and then I was buying from a guy at work, which was really expensive.  I just couldn't do this anymore. My hands are shaking uncontrollably and my body aches and I am tired but I have to keep going.  I know that things will get better.  Like I have read other people say I don't remember what life was like without pills.  I am sure that I had ups and downs. One thing I do know is that I was a better person without the pills.  I have been lieing to my friends and family for the past couple of years and I hate it.  No one trusts me anymore.  I cut all ties to getting vicodin but I still have 1 refill on the Loratab.  I think I am going to hve to have my mom pick them up and flush them.  If I know I can get that script filled I will and then take the entire bottle with a week.  All I know is this is the farthest I have ever gone and I am determined to make it this time.  These pills have been hell in my life.  I don't want to live like this anymore.