Sick and tired

I'm exhausted and really nauseous. I slept until 4:00 this afternoon, and went to bed at 1:00ish. Still tired, too. A lot of stomach pain today.
Dad and brother still expecting me to be my older brother's *****. I told them both that I was not going to take him to the store and my dad yelled at me. Brad just texted me and I texted back I couldn't because I had too much school work. Didn't reply back.
I shared about it at the meeting because I am not responsible for him, nor am I his therapist, and if this pressure continues I might use because these kinds of feelings led up to my first use. The feeling that I deserve a "vacation" because of all I have to put up with. Obviously, I understand that cocaine is not really a vacation, but I could still justify it in my mind. So whatever, Dad, get mad at me. Brad. I don't know. He's very suicidal. If he commits though, it is not my fault. I'm not giving up on him, I'm just taking care of my own life.
Oh yeah. And I have to read Huck Finn by 4:00 on Monday. **** YEAH.

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