Aug 18, 2012
Been really depressed for the last couple of weeks. Guess that bad date really affected me. I've been trying to teach myself that I'm worth more than just sex but that's difficult when that's all guys want from me. I have no idea how these guys are getting laid with so little effort. I refuse to give it up easily so I'm choosing to be celibate right now.
As far as the depression... I tend to feel invisible or not important. Also been getting into arguments with my mother, easily irritated, still no energy or appetite. Had a doctor's appointment last week and my new doctor wondered why I was on thyroid treatment meds since my thyroid isn't "that" under-active. I thought a 7 was a high result but apparently its on a scale from 1-100 not 1-10. Still no clue as to why i have dizzy spells. I took an EKG test and my heart looks fine, all my blood work is good, no high blood pressure... nothing wrong. But I still get dizzy from time to time. It's so infrequent that I can't accurately document it. I keep telling the doctors to check and see if its a pinched nerve towards the nape of my neck but the doctor doesn't agree. Didn't bother to check it either.... smh. At the end of the month, they're going to put a (sp?) haute monitor on me to monitor my heart for 24 hrs. If that test comes back clear, I'm gonna have them stop with all these tests. At this point, I'm not really caring.
I also told the doctor that I have NO energy. Nothing was recommended about that but he was so kind to mention that I gained a pound, so I started taking energy pills today. Although I don't eat more than twice a day and barely eat a meal the size of a tennis ball when I do eat, I've been gaining more weight. I try to get up and be active and then after a couple hours I have to take a nap or I'll faint. Also bought a SodaStream so I won't have much caffeine in my diet.
Gonna try to get out of the house this weekend. Maybe I'll feel better soon...