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Feeling the pain today

Mar 03, 2008 03:44PM - 2 comments

I first got addicted to pain pills when I had a double mastecotmy 8 years ago, after my 20th surgery
the surgeon made a mistake and cut a nerve under my rt arm.  It has been tha cause of a lot of extreme
pain.  I can get to a 10 pain level in minutes.   So I  just took pills, and that would make it alright, but I had to
take more and more pills.  I was taking between 40 and 50 Norco 10/325 a day.  I would take 22 ta a time
.  Well I have been off of the pills for about a year now, but when the pain comes I want to use, I wont lie
I want to use big TIME....I just want the pain to stop....I have tried every thing, hot baths, traction, physhcial
therapy, the works and nothing helps... I just needed to share that, I find it hard to be real about my addiction
and when I want to use I try to hide in the wood work...

Now I put it here in the open

I am sure there are some out there that can relate very much to what I said.

Comments
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by duhamanda, Mar 03, 2008 03:55PM
I'm so proud of you for posting instead of using.  I'm listening.  It does help to get it out there.  I don't have any personal experience with addiction myself but my sister took her own life after being addicted to pain pills.  Are you okay right now, do you need to call someone?  Type away.

by Nunnie, Mar 03, 2008 04:07PM
Dear Lisa.....
.WOW!!!!!!  Are you my twin?????  Of surgeries, nerve pain, med addictions or what?   I have been feeling so alone in this battle.  I have fought my Doctors for years , suffering with the most mind blowing nerve pain...(mine is in my groin, lower back and both legs)  I have had 17 abdominal surgeries and like you nerves were cut.  Just last January 07 I ended up with a complete hysterectomy. I had endometriosis so bad along with densely thick scar tissue that just engolfed the nerves.....It was real bad.  One thing I have always tried to do was not to let my Doc's get me addicted.  But now I feel S.O.L., he put me on Fentanyl Patches...now I'm up to 100mcg every 3 days also using Vicodin ES 3 x's daily.  I am so afraid of the withdrawrl I will have to face, I know it is coming because he knows I want off of these patches.   I don't feel so drugged like I did from all the pills though, I actually have had more quailty of life since being on the patch, maybe that would be something for you to discuss with your Doc.   One thing you must keep in mind is that we did not ask for this "PAIN" or the drugs that they gave us to help.  No human being should live life like that.  Nerve Pain is the worst!!!!!!!!  I can only speak for myself in this battle....I have flushed pills many times over out of fear of addition....now my body suffers physically if I don't put on this patch in time.....Is there never a end?????  I am scared to death!!!!!  Any advise?

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