Aug 24, 2012
So we are pushing forward with our plan to have another child through embryo adoption. It has taken DH some time to come to terms with the fact that this child will not be "ours" genetically, but I expected that. He is full speed ahead now and excited about the prospect. The reality is that this is 1/3 the cost of using donor eggs with his sperm and that was a factor in this decision. We have to be realistic. So he is all excited, I am happy and Ryder has told me on several occasions he wants to be a brother (he seriously does...it's super cute).
My issue is with the negativity we find ourselves surrounded by. I have no idea where this is coming from. When I was pregnant at 40 everyone was so happy for us. But for some reason, the fact that this next child will come at 44 (and that's if it takes the first try) has people all in a tizzy. Also, for some family members, the fact that this is through adoption (it's exactly the same thing, it's just that I carry the pregnancy) also seems to have people all a flutter. I have no idea why. We are very open about our decisions - always have been. I don't know why doing things this way has people worked up. So I'm done.
Yes, we are aware of our age. We are aware of our limitations and feel very confident we can do this. Yes, we do realize this means more sleepless nights. And we will be the ones getting up, thank you very much. Yes, we are aware this child will be 16 when we are 60. We both passed basic elementary school math without too much struggle. Yes, we do feel blessed to have the amazing healthy child we already have. Having a second does not mean we are not grateful for the first (why do people think that?).
My new response is a standard one. We want to try to add to our family. We honestly don't care all that much HOW it happens, just that it does. If it doesn't work, we can accept that, but we very much want to try. I'm sorry you cannot be happy and excited for us, and also excited that procedures like this are possible, but if you cannot share our joy, seriously, shut up. Cause I have been polite and thanked you for unsolicited advice one too many times. I am DONE! If I were asking you to come and get up through the night, or to raise and nurture my child, or to support them financially, then you would have the right to speak up in this manner. We are doing none of these things, so move on please. Our lives, our decision and our dream. I'm just done!
Ohhhhh, did that feel gooooood!!!!!