Aug 31, 2012
Okay today is the last day of August. Ove been exhausted all day and wanting to eat everything. So needless to say I am swollen and miserable this evening. I have to do better . the second chance i feel God has given me Well im not being wisw with it. Starting in the morning. I MUST EAT RIGHT! I need to be so dicsiplined! It depresses me. I know it sounds crazy, but not being able to eat "yummy" stuff literally makes me have severe depression. I have learned I have a problem with Gluten, I shouldnt drink pop especially Mt Dew because of my kidney stone episode. I should eat very little carbs, because I also have diabetes. Green tea makes me feel better. I must avoid sunlight because of my sarcoidosos. I dont need to over due it when I feel good because it makes my fibromyalgia flare up. I need to avoid all stress that its possible to avoid because of my severe anxiety and depression. I have enlartrged organs and lymph nodes so I MUST eat right and do moderate eercise.. This all describes a lifeof someone else! I have NEVER been disciplined in anything. I NEED GODS HELP. Because it is not in me. I want to live to see my grandkids one day and be able to help raise them. I am so fat and exhausted and out of breath and depressed and anxious Its like my life is talen over and Im watching it go. I am Praying for Gods Strenghth in this and I am hoping for support of my family. Its gouing to be hard, but I need to do it or just give up Im tired of the constant struggle. with weight and health and my mental state.