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scar tissue, blood blister

Sep 28, 2012 - 0 comments

my sister and i were busy and out and out about regarding job searching and other financial stuff...more prospective stuff coming up. i guess...but when we finally got home...my cousin was home...for some reason she can make me feel sad..or just awkward..i dunno what it is. cuz shes my favorite. but i realize that i am not her favorite. then i got news of my ex acting crazy...he's calling harassing my sister..he harassed me already, i called my parents to see if they'd been bothered by him..but no one is ever home there...its hard to catch them sometime. so i have no idea. so i call his sister, and we talk for a while...even though he told me she had been talking **** about me and thats another reason he went off on her and got kicked out of her house....apparently she called me a "lazy *****" - but like i told him, i dont care what she thinks, cuz i think some things about her too & it is not nice. Plus, she knows nothing about me really so i dont care. Anyway, so we talked and i warned her he's off on his rampage, and shes like yep I know. and i told her where she sent him wasn't a good spot either; his cousins house. His cousin is a big time drinker of beer, and i also heard thru the grapevine that he uses a little crystal. So that would be a big mess if he's gotten himself into that and its been a few day rampage...he broke up with me about 2 days ago, calls leaving crazy messages on my sisters phone, his sister says he's been calling her talking crazy, as well as the rest of the family...he's a mess. that bugged me a bit. thats when i drank the bottle of chardonnay. danced and sang to some music in the back, then passed out on the lawn for a little. then came in - it 2am, something just woke me up so here I am....I kept coming to the brink of tears all day but never any boohoooing...effexor will get rid of the crying like that sometimes....I'm taking it in the morning now and tomorrow i will be going to 75mg....it is a bit intense. it's like being on low grade speed & the ativan is doing NOTHING to take the edge off....NOTHING...yeahh...so I smoke weed, but i dont have any right now, its on its way....

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